Lili Elbe Digital Archive

Chapter 19

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law inhabited a villa facing a little fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious glances.

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Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier weilen.

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Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in a villa outside the small fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious gazes.

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Lili s Broder og Svigerinde boede i Nærheden af en af Jylland smaa Fjordbyer . Her kunde hun opholde sig uden at være udsat for nysgerrige Blikke.

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Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in the vicinity of one of Jutland 's small fjord towns . Here she could stay without being exposed to prying eyes.

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Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier leben. –

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She was received most cordially, especially by her sister-in-law , a dear good creature who as a woman showed Lili not only sympathy, but profound understanding from the first moment.

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Auf das herzlichste wurde sie hier aufgenommen, vor allem von ihrer Schwägerin , einem herzenguten Menschenkind, das als Frau Lili vom ersten Augenblick nicht nur Mitgefühl, sondern auch tiefes Verständnis zeigte.

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She was received in the most heartfelt way, especially from her sister-in-law , a

kind-hearted person

Regularized form: Menschenkind

, that showed not just deepest compassion but also understanding for Lili as a woman.

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Hun blev modtaget paa det venligste af dem begge. Hendes Svigerinde var et hjertensgodt Menneske, der som Kvinde ikke blot havde den inderligste Medfølelse med hende, men ogsaa viste hende den dybeste Forstaaelse.

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She was received very kindly by both of them. Her sister-in-law was a good-hearted person who as a woman not only had the deepest compassion for her, but also showed her the deepest understanding.

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Auf das herzlichste wurde sie hier aufgenommen, vor allem von ihrer Schwägerin , einem lieben guten Menschenkind, das als Frau Lili vom ersten Augenblick nicht nur Mitgefühl, sondern auch tiefes Verständnis zeigte.

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The brother did not find it easy the first few days to adjust himself to his new sister, but it was not long before he was quite at home with her and could regard Lili simply as a sister.

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Dem Bruder fiel es in den ersten Tagen nicht leicht, sich auf die neue Schwester einzustellen. Aber es dauerte nicht lange, bis er sich zurechtgefunden hatte und in Lili nichts als eine Schwester sah.

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The brother did not have an easy time getting used to the new sister. But it did not take long for him to find his way around her, and he saw nothing else but a sister in Lili .

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Broderen faldt det i de første Dage ikke saa let at indstille sig over for Lili , men det varede ikke saa længe, inden han havde fundet sig tilrette og fuldstændig betragtede hende som sin Søster.

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In the first days her brother did not find it easy to adjust to Lili but it did not last very long before he had gotten used to her and regarded her completely as his sister.

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Brother and sister-in-law vied with each other to give Lili a peaceful and happy time during her stay in Andreas ' home town .

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Und Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

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And brother and sister-in-law competed with one another to make Lili 's days in Andreas ' home peaceful and sheltered.

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De kappedes begge om at gøre Dagene her i Andreas ' Fødeby saa hyggelige og fredfyldte som muligt.

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They both competed to make the days here in Andreas ' native town as pleasant and peaceful as possible.

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Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

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She was quite content to be treated as a child who had been ill and must now be cherished and cosseted. Every evening her sister-in-law sat beside Lili 's bed and held her hand until she fell asleep. She was never left alone the whole day. If she went out, someone went with her. If Lili protested, they would hardly let her speak: even in little towns there were wicked people, and mad dogs, or other dangers. . . .

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Und Lili liess es sich gern gefallen, dass man sie hier wie ein Kind behandelte, das krank gewesen war, ~~das~~ und jetzt gehegt und gepflegt werden musste. Und die Frau des Bruder s sass jeden Abend neben Lili s Bett und hielt ihre Hand, bis sie eingeschlummert war. Und tagsüber liess man sie nie allein. ~~Unternahm sie einem Spaziergang~~ Ging sie aus, so begleitete einer von ihnen sie. Wenn Lili abwehrte, so liess man sie kaum zu Wort kommen: es gäbe auch in kleinen Städten böse Menschen und schlimme Hunde oder andere Gefahren ...

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And Lili enjoyed being treated here like a child who had been sick, and now had to be cared for and pampered. And the brother 's wife sat next to Lili 's bed every night and held her hand, until she had dozed off. And during the day they left her alone. When she went out, one of them accompanied her. When Lili staved them off, they barely let her get a word in: there were bad people and bad dogs or other dangers in small towns, too ...

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Lili var glad ved det. Hun holdt af at blive behandlet som et Barn, der har været sygt og nu trænger til at blive hæget om. Hver Aften satte Broderen s Kone sig ved hendes Seng og holdt hende i Haanden, indtil hun var faldet i Søvn. Gik hun en Tur, saa fulgte de begge med hende. Hvis Lili erklærede, at hun hellere vilde gaa alene, afværgede de det ved at sige, at der i saadan en lille By altid var mange lovløse Eksistenser, glubske Hunde og andre Farer.

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Lili was happy about it. She liked being treated like a child who has been ill and now needs to be taken good care of. Every evening her brother 's wife sat by her bed and held her hand until she had fallen asleep. If she went for a walk they both came with her. If Lili declared that she would rather go alone they prevented it by saying that in such a small town there were always many lawless characters, vicious dogs and other dangers.

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Lili ließ es sich gern gefallen, daß man sie hier wie ein Kind behandelte, das krank gewesen war, und jetzt gehegt und gepflegt werden mußte. Die Frau des Bruder s saß jeden Abend neben Lili s Bett und hielt ihre Hand, bis sie eingeschlummert war . . . Tagsüber ließ man sie nie allein. Ging sie aus, so geschah es in Begleitung. Wollte Lili abwehren, so ließ man sie kaum

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zu Wort kommen: es gäbe auch in kleinen Städten böse Menschen und schlimme Hunde oder andere Gefahren . . .

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In these quiet and safe surroundings her nerves got better. She took long walks in the neighbourhood of the town, along the fjord and into the great

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forests which were now glorious in their autumn colours.

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In dieser stillen, sicheren Umgebung erholten sich Lili s Nerven. Sie unternahm weite Spaziergänge in die Umgebung der Stadt , den Fjord entlang, und in die grossen Waldungen hinein, die jetzt in bunter Herbstpracht strahlten.

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In that quiet, safe environment Lili 's nerves calmed. She went on long walks into the surroundings of the city , along the fjord and into the big forests that now shone in colorful fall splendor.

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I disse stille og trygge Omgivelser faldt Lili s Nerver til Ro. Hun gik lange Ture i Byens Omegn, ud langs Fjorden eller ind gennem de store Skove, som stod i deres skønneste, brogede Efteraarspragt.

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In these quiet and secure surroundings Lili 's nerves settled down. She went for long walks in the surroundings of the town, out along the fjord or inland through the large woods that stood in their most beautiful, colourful autumn splendour.

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In dieser stillen, sicheren Umgebung erholten sich ihre Nerven. Sie unternahm weite Spaziergänge in die Umgebung der Stadt, am Fjord entlang und in die großen Waldungen hinein, die jetzt in bunter Herbstpracht strahlten.

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Here by the fjord and in the adjacent woods Andreas had passed the happiest days of his childhood. But nearly all recollections of this had been extinguished in Lili . Everything seemed new to her, as if she saw it for the first time. Only now and then, in a particular light, prompted by a sound or a scent, would a far-off memory be kindled in her, as if through a haze. But it was never anything exact that stirred in her.

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Hier, a n m ~~diesem~~ Fjord und in ~~diesen~~ den Waldungen ringsum , hatte Andreas die glücklichsten Tage seiner frohen Kindheit verlebt. Aber fast alle Erinnerungen hieran waren in Lili ausgelöscht. Ihr kam alles neu vor. Es war, als wäre sie hier zum ersten Male. Nur dann und wann, bei einer bestimmten Beleuchtung, durch einen Laut, einen Duft, konnte ein fernes Erinnern, wie durch einen Nebelschleier, in ihr aufdämmern. Aber nie war es etwas Genaues, das sich in ihr erinnernd regte.

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Here on the fjord and in the woods Andreas had lived through the happiest days of his happy childhood. But almost all memories of that day had been erased in Lili . Everything seemed new to her. It was as if she were here for the first time. Only now and then, in a certain light, through a noise, a scent, could a distant memory be kindled in her, as through a veil of mist. But it was never anything specific that stirred her memory.

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Her ved denne Fjord og i disse Skove havde Andreas levet sine lykkelige Bamdomsaar, men næsten enhver Erindring om dem var udslukt hos Lili ...... Hun havde en Følelse af, at hun befandt sig i helt nye Omgivelser, hvor hun aldrig før havde været. Kun nu og da vakte en bestemt Belysning, en Lyd, en Duft et fjernt Minde hos hende. Men det var, som om det havde skjult sig bag et Taageslør. Og det var aldrig noget bestemt, hun huskede ...... altid noget, der gled ud og blev borte ......

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Here by this fjord and in these woods Andreas had lived his happy childhood years but almost all memory of them had been extinguished in Lili ...... She had a feeling that she was in completely new surroundings where she had never been before. Only now and then a certain light, a sound, a scent brought back a distant memory in her. But it was as if it were hidden behind a veil of mist. And it was never a definite thing that she remembered ...... always something that slipped away and disappeared ......

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Hier, am Fjord und in den Wäldern ringsum hatte Andreas die glücklichsten Tage seiner Kindheit verlebt. Aber fast alle Erinnerungen hieran waren in Lili ausgelöscht. Ihr kam alles neu vor, als sähe sie es zum ersten Male. Nur dann und wann, bei einer bestimmten Beleuchtung, durch einen Laut, einen Duft, konnte ein fernes Erinnern, wie durch einen Nebelschleier, in ihr aufdämmern. Aber nie war es etwas Genaues, das sich in ihr regte.

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One day her brother went with her into the town, to show her the old parental house in which Andreas had been born and nurtured and their parents had lived until their death.

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Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus

zu seigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, wo die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

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One day the brother went with her to town, to show her the

old parental home , in which Andreas had been born and had grown up, where the parents had lived until their death.

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En Dag gik Broderen med hende ind til Byen for at vise hende

det gamle Hus, hvor hendes Forældre havde boet lige til deres Død, og hvor han og Andreas var vokset op.

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One day her brother went with her to the town to show her

the old house where her parents had lived until their death and where he and Andreas had grown up.

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Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus zu zeigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, und die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

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Lili stood in front of the old house of her parents; she recognized it, remotely and hazily, like something of which one had once dreamed. Her brother frequently asked her if she could not remember this or that incident from common childhood. The brother was only a few years older than Andreas . And it had always been Andreas who had remembered all the incidents of the past more clearly than anyone else. But Lili was always obliged to answer in the negative, however hard she tried to conjure up pictures from Andreas ' past. She always had such a strange feeling, as if something were vibrating in the depths of her being. But she was still too weak to form a precise idea of what it was. Frequently these questions tortured her, and her brother felt it and desisted.

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Lili stand vor dem alten Patrizierhaus , und sie erkannte es wieder, fern und nebelhaft, wie etwas, von dem man einmal geträumt hat. Oft fragte der Bruder sie, ob sie sich nicht dieses oder jenes Vorfalls aus ihrer gemeinsamen Kindheit erinnern könne. ~~Auch~~ d D er Bruder war nur wenige Jahre älter ~~gewesen~~ als Andreas . Und Andreas war doch immer derjenige gewesen, der sich aller Ereignisse aus der Vergangenheit am besten und genausten erinnerte. Aber immer musste Lili mit einem Nein antworten, wie heiss sie auch ihr Denken anstrengte, um ein Bild aus der Vergangenheit Andreas ' wiederzufinden. Ihr wurde immer so seltsam zu Mut, als klänge irgendetwas in der Tiefe ihres Innern auf. Aber sie war wohl zu müde, um sich klar darüber zu werden, was es war. Oft schmerzten diese Fragen sie, und der Bruder fühlte es und fragte nicht mehr.

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Lili stood in front of the old ancestral home and she recognized it, distant and misty, like something one once dreamed of. The brother asked her often, if she could not remember this or that event from their shared childhood. The brother had been only a few years older than Andreas . And Andreas had always been the one who could recall all events from the past the most clearly and the most accurately. But Lili always had to reply with a no, no matter how ardently she strained her thoughts, to find an image from Andreas ' past again. She always felt so strange, as if something in her inward depths resonated. But she was apparently too tired to gain any clarity about what that was. Those questions often pained her, and the brother sensed it and did not ask any more.

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Lili stod foran det gamle Patricierhus. Hun kendte det nok igen, men det var som noget fjernt og taaget, noget, hun en Gang havde set i Drømme.

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Ofte spurgte Broderen hende, om hun mindedes en eller anden Oplevelse fra deres fælles Barndom. Broderen var kun nogle faa Aar ældre end Andreas , der altid havde været den, som havde den bedste Hukommelse og tydeligst kunde huske tilbage. Men Lili maatte stadig ryste paa Hovedet. Hvor meget hun end anstrengte sig, var det hende umuligt at finde et klart Billede frem fra Andreas ' Fortid ...... Hun blev altid saa underlig tilmode, det var, som om der klang noget et Sted langt inde i hende, men Tonen døde bort, inden hun formaaede at holde den fast. Maaske var hun altfor træt ...... maaske var det derfor, hun ikke var i Stand til at anspænde sin Erindring.

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Ofte voldte disse Spørgsmaal hende Smerte, Broderen følte det, og han spurgte ikke mere.

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Lili stood in front of the old patrician house. She recognised the house, but it was like something distant and dim, something she had once seen in dreams.

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Often her brother asked her if she remembered some experience from their common childhood. Her brother was only a few years older than Andreas , who had always been the one who had the best memory and could remember the most clearly. But Lili still had to shake her head. No matter how great an effort she made it was impossible for her to find a clear image from Andreas ' past ...... She always got to feel so strange, it was as if something sounded in a place deep inside her, but the tone died away before she managed to hold onto it. Perhaps she was too tired ...... perhaps that was the reason why she was not able to strain her memory.

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Often these questions caused her pain, her brother felt it, and he did not ask any more.

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Lili stand vor dem alten Patrizierhaus, sie erkannte es wieder, fern und nebelhaft, wie etwas, von dem man einmal geträumt hat. Oft fragte der Bruder sie, ob sie sich nicht dieses oder jenes Vorfalls aus ihrer gemeinsamen Kindheit erinnern könne. Der Bruder war nur wenige Jahre älter als Andreas . Und Andreas war doch derjenige gewesen, der sich aller Ereignisse aus der Vergangenheit am besten und genauesten erinnerte. Aber stets mußte Lili mit einem Nein antworten, wie heiß sie auch ihr Denken anstrengte, um ein Bild aus der Vergangenheit Andreas ' wiederzufinden. Ihr wurde immer so seltsam zumute, als klänge irgend etwas in der Tiefe ihres Innern auf. Aber sie war wohl noch zu müde, um sich klar darüber zu werden, was es war. Oft schmerzten

diese Fragen bitter und der Bruder fühlte es und fragte nicht mehr.

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It was not through the past that she felt herself linked to her brother and sister-in-law : but both

were so kind and considerate that she gradually felt quite at home with them.

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Auch nicht durch die Vergangenheit fühlte sie sich mit dem Bruder und der Schwägerin verknüpft. Doch sie waren so gut und lieb zu ihr, und so kam es, dass sie sich hier gar nicht fremd fühlte. Aber dies war auch alles, was an Erinnerung in ihr haften geblieben war.

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Not through the past did she feel connected to the brother and the sister-in-law . But they were so good and nice to her, and so it happened that she did not feel like a stranger here. But that was all the memory that had stayed with her.

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Det var heller ikke gennem Fortiden, at hun følte sig knyttet til Broderen og hans Kone . Men de var saa gode og søde mod hende, og derfor følte hun sig hjemme hos dem. Det var ikke Fortiden med deres fælles Minder, der bandt hende til dem.

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Nor was it through the past that she felt connected to her brother and his wife . But they were so good and kind to her and for that reason she felt at home with them. It was not the past with their common memories that tied her to them.

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Nicht durch die Vergangenheit fühlte sie sich mit dem Bruder und der Schwägerin verknüpft . . . . . . doch beide waren so gut und lieb zu ihr, und so kam es, daß sie sich hier gar nicht fremd fühlte.

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" Lili ," her brother said one day, "you have now been here almost a whole month and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave in the old churchyard ."

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" Lili ", sagte der Bruder eines Tages zu ihr, "jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und du hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht."

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" Lili ," the brother said to her one day, "now you have been here for a whole month, and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave on the old church yard ."

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En Dag sagde hendes Broder til hende:

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— Lili , nu har Du været her en hel Maaned, og endnu har Du ikke været paa Kirkegaarden for at se til Fa'r s og Mo'r s Grav.

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One day her brother said to her:

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" Lili , now you have been here for a whole month and still you have not been to the cemetery to see Father 's and Mother 's grave."

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» Lili «, sagte der Bruder eines Tages, »jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht.«

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"I should so much like to go there," she answered, "but you must show me where they are buried." Then she burst into tears.

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"Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen," antwortete Lili , "aber du musst mir z eigen, wo sie liegen." Und plötzlich musste sie bitterlich weinen.

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"I would really like to go there," replied Lili , "but you have to show me where they lie." And suddenly she had to cry bitterly.

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— Du har Ret, jeg vil gerne derhen.

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Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

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"You're right, I'd like to go there."

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And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

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»Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen«, antwortete sie, »aber du mußt mir zeigen, wo sie liegen.« Dann mußte sie bitterlich weinen.

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Her brother regarded her with surprise. He took her hands and drew her to him protectively.

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Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Dann nahm er sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

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Her brother looked at her puzzled. Then he took his arms and pressed her against himself protectively.

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Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

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And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

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Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Er nahm sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

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Lili divined what he was thinking.

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Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

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Lili felt, what he was thinking.

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Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

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And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

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Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

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"Yes," she said, tormented by a secret fear, "I know I have had neither father nor mother. I am really quite alone in the world, and often think that life is too full of dangers to be able to master it alone. Just for me. You must understand that. My life began amidst terrible pain, and sometimes I fear that everything has been in vain. But then again it seems as if something great and strong has sustained me. Then I feel something precious stirring within me. It may be happiness. In my dreams this happiness is perfect."

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"Ja," sagte sie, von einer heimlichen Furcht geplagt, "ich weiss, ich habe weder Vater noch Mutter gehabt. Ich stehe eigentlich ganz allein in der Welt, und oft meine ich, dass das Leben zu voll von Gefahren ist, um es allein bezwingen zu können. Gerade für mich. Das musst du verstehen. Mein Leben begann unter furchtbaren Schmerzen, und oft fürchte ich, dass alles miteinander vergebens gewesen ist. Aber dann wieder ist es mir, als wenn etwas viel Grösseres und Stärkeres mich aufrecht hielte. Dann fühle ich in mir sich etwas

Köstliches regen. Das ist wohl das Glück. In meinen Träumen ist dieses Glück ganz vollkommen."

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"Yes," she said, plagued by a secret fear, "I know, I have had neither mother nor father. I stand completely alone in the world, and I often think that life is too full of dangers for one to be able to overcome it alone. Especially for me. You have to understand that. My life began with the most terrible pain, and often I fear that everything has been for nothing. But then again I feel as if something much bigger and stronger kept me up right. Then I feel as if something

delightful

Regularized form: Köstliches

was stirring within me. In my dreams that happiness is completely perfect."

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— Ja, sagde hun, pint af en hemmelig Frygt, jeg ved, at jeg hverken har haft Fa'r eller Mo'r. Jeg staar ganske alene i Verden, og ofte synes jeg, at mit Liv er fuldt af altfor mange Farer til, at jeg alene er i Stand til at forsvare mig imod dem. Du maa raade mig. Du maa staa mig bi ...... Mit Liv begyndte under de frygteligste Smerter, og ofte er jeg bange for, at. det altsammen har været forgæves ...... Men saa er der andre Øjeblikke, hvor det forekommer mig, som om der er noget større, der holder mig oppe, saa føler jeg

det, som om noget fint og ædelt rører sig i mig. Det er vel Lykke. Og i mine Drømme er jeg altid fuldkommen lykkelig.

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"Yes," she said, tormented by a secret fear, "I know that I have had neither father nor mother. I am quite alone in the world, and often I feel that my life is full of too many dangers for me to be able to defend myself against them alone. You must advise me, you must stand by me ...... My life began under the most terrible pains, and I'm afraid that it has all been in vain ...... But then there are other moments when it seems to me as if something bigger is holding me up, then I feel

something fine and noble within me. I suppose it is happiness. And in my dreams I am always perfectly happy."

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»Ja«, sagte sie, von einer heimlichen Furcht geplagt, »ich weiß, ich habe weder Vater noch Mutter gehabt. Ich stehe eigentlich ganz allein in der Welt, oft denke ich, daß das Leben zu voll von Gefahren ist, um es allein bezwingen zu können. Gerade für mich. Das mußt du verstehen. Mein Leben begann unter furchtbaren Schmerzen, und zuweilen fürchte ich, daß alles miteinander vergebens gewesen sei. Aber dann wieder ist es, als wenn da etwas Großes und Starkes mich aufrecht hielte. Dann fühle ich in mir sich etwas Köstliches regen. Das ist wohl das Glück. In meinen Träumen ist dieses Glück ganz vollkommen.«

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Her brother gazed at her with inquiring eyes. Lili patted his shoulder. "Dear brother , perhaps you cannot understand me when I talk like that; but that does not matter,

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long as you are kind to me. Often I do not understand it myself; I do not understand my own life; I can never get over my astonishment."

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Mit fragenden Augen sah der Bruder sie an, als wolle er etwas sagen.

tsc19p016

Da streichelte Lili ihn. "Lieber Bruder , vielleicht kannst du mich gar nicht verstehen, wenn ich so spreche. Aber das schadet auch nichts. Wenn ihr nur gut zu mir seid. Ich selber verstehe mich ja oft nicht, verstehe mein Leben nicht, komme aus dem Staunen nicht heraus."

tsc19p017

With questioning eyes her brother looked at her, as if he wanted to say something.

ts-trc19p016

Lili caressed him then. "Dear Brother , maybe you cannot understand me at all when I talk like this. But that does not matter. So long as you are good to me. I do not understand myself, do not understand my life, can never stop being astounded."

ts-trc19p017

Broderen saa spørgende paa hende, som om han vilde sige noget.

d1c23p018

Men Lili klappede ham paa Armen og tilføjede:

d1c23p019

— Kære Broder , maaske kan Du slet ikke forstaa mig, naar jeg siger saadan noget, men det gør slet intet, hvis I bare er gode imod mig ...... Jeg forstaar mig jo heller ikke ofte selv, jeg forstaar ikke mit eget Liv ...... jeg maa stadig undres over det ......

d1c23p020

Her brother looked at her inquiringly, as if he were going to say something.

d1-trc23p018

But Lili patted him on the arm and added:

d1-trc23p019

"Dear brother , perhaps you don't understand me at all when I say something like that, but that doesn't matter at all, if only you're good to me ...... Often I don't understand myself either, I don't understand my own life ...... I still have to marvel at it ......"

d1-trc23p020

Mit fragenden Augen sah der Bruder sie an. Lili streichelte ihn. »Lieber Bruder , vielleicht kannst du mich gar nicht verstehen, wenn ich so spreche. Aber das schadet auch nichts. Wenn ihr nur gut zu mir seid. Ich selber verstehe mich ja oft nicht, verstehe mein Leben nicht, komme aus dem Staunen nicht heraus.«

g1c19p016

Andreas Sparre was dead.

a1c19p017

Andreas Sparre war tot.

tsc19p018

Andreas Sparre was dead.

ts-trc19p018

Andreas Sparre var død.

d1c23p021

Andreas Sparre was dead.

d1-trc23p021

Andreas Sparre war tot.

g1c19p017

Lili was again living in her Copenhagen attic.

a1c19p018

Sie wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

tsc19p019

She was living again in her small attic room in Copenhagen .

ts-trc19p019

Lili var vendt tilbage til sine to smaa Gavlværelser i København .

d1c23p022

Lili had returned to her two little gabled rooms in Copenhagen .

d1-trc23p022

Lili wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

g1c19p018

Here she was introduced by her hostess to a young Norwegian veterinary surgeon , who, without knowing what had happened to her, told her that he had been experimenting for a long time with the transplantation and grafting of ovaries upon animals and explained how the effect of these new ovaries was so great as to change completely the animal's character and determined its age. And inasmuch as animals were less valuable subjects than human beings, he had more opportunity as a veterinary surgeon to study this phenomenon by experiments than other doctors. It went without saying that similar processes would be observed in the case of human beings.

a1c19p019

Hier traf sie bei ihren Wirtsleuten einen jungen norwegischen Tierarzt , der, ohne zu wissen, was mit ihr geschehen war, erzählte, dass er seit längerer Zeit mit Transplantationen und Inplantationen von Ovarien an Tieren experimentiere. Und er setzte ihr auseinander, wie die Wirkungen dieser neuen Ovarien so gross seien, dass sie den Charakter und das Gemüt des Tieres völlig veränderten und gleichzeitig auch bestimmend für sein Alter seien. Und da ja Tiere weniger wertvolles Material seien als Menschen, habe er als Tierarzt mehr Gelegenheit, dieses Phänomen durch Versuche zu studieren als andere Ärzte.

tsc19p020

Bei Menschen würde man selbstverständlich ähnliche Vorgänge beobachten können.

tsc19p021

Here she met a young Norwegian veterinarian with her hosts, who, without knowing what had happened to her, told her that he had been experimenting with transplanting and implanting ovaries in animals. And he explained to her how the effects of those new ovaries were so great that they completely changed the character and temperment of the animal while also determining their age. And since animals were less valuable materials than people, he had more opportunities as a veterinarian to study this phenomenon than other doctors.

ts-trc19p020

Of course it would be possible to observe similar processes in humans.

ts-trc19p021

Her hos sin Værtinde traf hun en ung, norsk Dyrlæge , som uden at vide, hvad der var sket med hende, fortalte, hvorledes han i længere Tid havde eksperimenteret med at fremkalde Kønsforandringer hos Dyr. Han fortalte, hvorledes han fjernede og intransplanterede Kirtler af det modsatte Køn paa dem, og om de uhyre Forandringer, det medførte hos dem. Dyrene skiftede ganske Væsen og Karakter, og samtidig var de nye Kønskirtler bestemmende for deres Alder ...... Desværre lod den Slags Eksperimenter sig kun foretage paa Dyr ...... man kunde jo af mange Grunde vanskeligt tænke sig at overføre dem paa Mennesker.

d1c23p023

Here with her landlady she met a young Norwegian veterinarian who, without knowing what had happened to her, told her how he had experimented with inducing gender changes in animals for some time. He told her how he had removed and transplanted glands from the opposite sex into them, and about the enormous changes it caused in them. The animals quite changed their nature and character, and at the same time the new sexual glands determined their age ...... Unfortunately, these kinds of experiments could only be performed on animals ...... for many reasons it was difficult to imagine them transferred to humans.

d1-trc23p023

Hier traf sie bei ihren Wirtsleuten einen jungen norwegischen Tierarzt , der, ohne zu wissen, was mit ihr geschehen war, erzählte, daß er seit längerer Zeit mit Transplantationen und Inplantationen von Ovarien an Tieren experimentiere und setzte ihr auseinander, wie die Wirkungen dieser neuen Ovarien so groß seien, daß sie den Charakter und die Wesensart des Tieres völlig veränderten und bestimmend für sein Alter seien. Und da ja Tiere weniger wertvolles Material seien als Menschen, habe er als Tierarzt mehr Gelegenheit, dieses Phänomen durch Versuche zu studieren als andere Ärzte. Bei Menschen würde man selbstverständlich ähnliche Vorgänge beobachten können.

g1c19p019

Lili now realized that the crisis through which she had passed, especially when she was first in Denmark , and from the effects of which she was still suffering, was a natural consequence of the implantation which had been carried out upon her. She perceived how her whole cerebral function had received a new direction.

a1c19p020

Lili begriff jetzt, dass die Krise, die sie, namentlich in der ersten Zeit in Dänemark , durchgemacht hatte, unter der sie wohl auch jetzt noch litt, eine natürliche Folge der an ihr vorgenommenen Inplantation sei. Ihre ganze Gehirnfunktion, meinte sie, hätte einen neuen Kurs bekommen.

tsc19p022

Lili now understood that the crisis she had gone through especially during that first time in Denmark , and which she was still suffering from, had been a natural result of the implantation that had been enacted on her. Her entire brain functions, she thought, had been put on a new course.

ts-trc19p022

Lili forstod nu, at den Krise, hun — især i den første Tid hjemme i Danmark — havde gennemgaaet, og som hun vel endnu ikke helt havde overvundet, var en naturlig Følge af den Intransplantation, der var foretaget paa hende. Hendes Hjernefunktion havde faaet en helt ny Retning.

d1c23p024

Lili now understood that the crisis that she had gone through – especially during the first time at home in Denmark – and which she had probably not yet completely overcome, was a natural consequence of the transplantation that had been performed on her. Her brain function had been given a completely new direction.

d1-trc23p024

Lili begriff jetzt, daß die Krise, die sie, namentlich in der ersten Zeit in Dänemark , durchgemacht hatte, unter der sie wohl auch jetzt noch litt, eine natürliche Folge der an ihr vorgenommenen Inplantation sei. Ihre ganze Gehirnfunktion, meinte sie, hätte einen neuen Kurs bekommen.

g1c19p020

She confided all this to her diary:

a1c19p021

Und sie gestand sich dies alles in ihr Tagebuch ein:

tsc19p023

And she admitted as much to herself in her diary:

ts-trc19p023

Hun skrev om det i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p025

She wrote about it in her diary:

d1-trc23p025

Sie gestand sich das alles in ihrem Tagebuch ein:

g1c19p021

"In the first months after my operation it was necessary above all else to recuperate. When this had happened to some extent, the physical change in me began. My breasts formed, my hips changed and became softer and rounder. And at the same time other forces began to stir in my brain and to choke whatever remnants of Andreas still remained there. A new emotional life was arising within me."

a1c19d01p01

"In den ersten Monaten nach meiner Operation hat es sich wohl vor allen Dingen darum gehandelt, zu neuen Kräften zu kommen. Als dieses einigermassen geschehen war, begann die physische Veränderung an mir. Meine Brust formte sich, meine Hüften veränderten sich, wurden weicher und runder. Und gleichzeitig begannen andere Kräfte sich in meinem Gehirn zu rühren und alles zu überwuchern, was von Andreas noch darin übrig war. Ein ganz neues Gefühlsleben entstand so in mir."

tsc19d01p01

"In the first months after my operation it was all about gathering new strength. When that had somewhat succeeded, physical transformations began happening to me suddenly. My breast formed, my hips changed, became softer and rounder. And at the same time different forces were stirring in my brain and obscured all that was left of Andreas . A completely new emotional life emerged in me that way."

ts-trc19d01p01

»...... I de første Maaneder efter min Operation drejede alt sig vel om at genvinde Kræfterne, og først efterhaanden som de vendte tilbage, begyndte de fysiske Forandringer at indfinde sig. Mit Bryst formede sig, mine Hofter afrundedes, og alle mine Linier blev blødere og mere kvindelige. Saa begyndte ogsaa de psykiske Forandringer. Nye Kræfter rørte sig i min Hjerne og arbejdede for at forjage alt, hvad der endnu her var tilbage af Andreas ...... Paa denne Maade vaagnede et helt nyt Følelsesliv i mig.«

d1c23d01p01

" ...... In the first months after my operation everything was about regaining my strength, and only as it gradually returned the physical changes began to appear. My breast developed, my hips became rounded, and all my lines became softer and more female. Then the psychological changes began too. New forces stirred in my brain and worked to expel everything that was still left of Andreas ...... In this way a completely new emotional life awakened in me."

d1-trc23d01p01

»In den ersten Monaten nach meiner Operation hat es sich wohl vor allen Dingen darum gehandelt, zu neuen Kräften zu kommen. Als dieses einigermaßen geschehen war, begann die physische Veränderung an mir. Meine Brust formte sich, meine Hüften veränderten sich, wurden weicher und runder. Und gleichzeitig begannen andere Kräfte sich in meinem Gehirn zu rühren und alles zu überwuchern, was von Andreas noch darin übrig war. Ein ganz neues Gefühlsleben entstand in mir.«

g1c19d01p01

At that time she wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz :

a1c19p022

Damals schrieb sie auch einen Brief an Werner Kreutz , worin sie alles, was in ihr vorging, also ausdrückte:

tsc19p024

Back then she also wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz , in which she expressed everything going on within her:

ts-trc19p024

Omtrent paa samme Tid skrev hun et Brev til Professor Werner Kreutz , i hvilket hun prøvede paa at udtrykke, hvad der foregik i hende.

d1c23p026

About the same time she wrote a letter to Professor Werner Kreutz in which she tried to express what went on in her.

d1-trc23p026

Damals schrieb sie einen Brief an Werner Kreutz : »Ich fühle mich so verändert, als hätten Sie nicht meinen Leib, sondern mein Gehirn operiert. Und obgleich meinem Gesicht noch all das anzusehen ist, was ich durchgemacht habe, so meine ich doch, daß ich mit jedem Tage jünger und jünger werde.

g1c19p022

"I feel so changed that it seems as if you had operated not upon my body, but upon my brain. And although my face still bears traces of what I have gone through, I feel I am getting younger and younger every day.

a1c19l01p01

"Ich fühle mich so verändert, als hätten Sie nicht meinen Leib, sondern mein Gehirn operiert. Und obgleich meinem Gesicht noch all das anzusehen ist, was ich durchgemacht habe, so meine ich doch, dass ich mit jedem neuen Tage jünger und jünger werde.

tsc19l01p01

"I feel so changed, as if you had operated not on my body but on my brain. And although everything I had to go through can still be seen in my face, I do believe that I grow younger and younger as days go by.

ts-trc19l01p01

»— Jeg føler mig saa forandret, som om det ikke var mit Legeme, men min Hjerne, De havde opereret. Og selv om mit Ansigt endnu bærer Spor af alt, hvad jeg har lidt og gennemlevet, synes jeg alligevel, at jeg for hver Dag, der gaar, kommer til at se yngre ud.

d1c23l01p01

"I feel so changed as if it were not my body but my brain you had operated on. And even if my face still carries traces of everything I have suffered through life, I still think that for every day that passes I look younger.

d1-trc23l01p01

❡

"Even the name of Andreas Sparre has no longer a bitter sound for me. He first had his youth, but now I believe that I am going to have mine. And sometimes I find it is unjust for me to retain his age and birthday, for my biological age is quite different from his. And it is also painful for me that his name instead of my name is on the official records. Andreas and I have really nothing whatever to do with each other.

a1c19l01p02

Auch Andreas Sparre s Name hat keinen bitteren Klang mehr für mich. Er hat zuerst seine Jugend gehabt, aber jetzt glaube ich, dass ich auch meine bekomme. Und mitunter finde ich, dass es ungerecht ist, dass ich sein Alter und seinen Geburtstag erhalten soll. Denn mein biologisches Alter ist doch ein anderes als seins. Und es ist auch schmerzlich für mich, dass im Volksregister mein Name anstatt seines Namens steht. Andreas und ich, wir haben doch eigentlich nichts mit einander zu tun.

tsc19l01p02

Andreas Sparre 's name no longer has a bitter sound to me. He had his youth first, but now I believe that I will have mine too. And now and then I find that it is not fair that I should maintain his age and his birthday. Because my biological age is different from his. And it is also painful for me that his name is in the public register instead of mine. Andreas and I do not have anything to do with each other, actually.

ts-trc19l01p02

Andreas Sparre s Navn har heller ikke mere nogen bitter Klang for mig. Han har haft sin Ungdom, og jeg tror, at jeg nu faar min. Af og til synes jeg ogsaa, at det vilde være uretfærdigt, om jeg skulde regne min Alder efter hans Fødselsaar. Min Alder maa dog rent biologisk være en anden end hans. Det piner mig ogsaa, at mit Navn er blevet ført ind i Kirkebogen paa det samme Sted, hvor hans Navn er blevet streget ud. Andreas og jeg har dog egentlig slet ikke noget med hinanden at gøre.

d1c23l01p02

Nor does Andreas Sparre 's name have a bitter sound for me. He has had his youth, and I think that I will now have mine. Now and then I also think that it would be unfair if I should count my age from his year of birth. My age must after all, from a purely biological point of view, be another than his. It also pains me that my name has been entered into the church register at the same place where his name has been crossed out. Andreas and I do not really have anything to do with each other though.

d1-trc23l01p02

Auch Andreas Sparre s Name hat keinen bitteren Klang mehr für mich. Er hat zuerst seine Jugend gehabt, aber jetzt glaube ich, daß ich auch meine bekomme. Und mitunter finde ich, daß es ungerecht ist, daß ich sein Alter und seinen Geburtstag erhalten soll. Denn mein biologisches Alter ist doch ein anderes als seins. Und es ist auch schmerzlich für mich, daß bei den Behörden mein Name anstatt seines Namens geführt wird. Andreas und ich, wir haben doch eigentlich nichts miteinander zu tun.

g1c19l01p02

"I have now been a few weeks in his birthplace , but I have felt like a stranger there all the time. Nothing of what is now stirring in me was born in his parents' house . I am newly created. I was born under your auspices in Dresden , and my birthday is that April day on which you operated upon me. My temperament, too, is like April weather. I laugh and cry at the same time. My heart is full of expectation as a spring day. And every time I feel stirring within me this new life and this new youth, as if I were mother and child at the same time, then all my thoughts turn towards you in boundless gratitude."

a1c19l01p03

Ich war jetzt ein paar Wochen in seinem Geburtsort

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

, aber ich habe mich immer wie eine Fremde dort gefühlt. Nichts von dem, was sich jetzt in mir rührt, ist in seinem Elternhaus zur Welt gekommen. Ich bin neugeschaffen. Ich bin dort unten bei Ihnen zur Welt gekommen, und mein Geburtstag ist jener Apriltag, wo Sie mich operiert haben. Auch mein Gemüt ist wie Aprilwetter. Ich weine und ich lache zu gleicher Zeit. Mein Herz ist voll von Erwartung wie ein Frühlingstag. Und jedesmal, wenn ich fühle, wie sich in meinem Innern dieses neue Leben und diese neue Jugend rührt, als wäre ich zugleich Mutter und Kind, dann wandern alle meine Gedanken zurück zu Ihnen in grenzenloser Dankbarkeit."

tsc19l01p03

I have now spent a few weeks in my birthplace

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

, but I have always felt like a stranger there. Nothing of what is now stirring within me has been born in his parents' house . I am created anew. I was born down there with you, and my birthday is that day in April on which you operated on me. My temperment, too, is like April weather. I cry and I laugh at the same time. My heart is full of expectation like a spring day. And each time when I feel that new life and new youth is stirring within, as if I was mother and child at the same time, then all my thoughts wander back to you in boundless gratitude."

ts-trc19l01p03

Jeg har lige tilbragt et Par Uger i hans Fødeby , men dèr følte jeg mig hele Tiden som en Fremmed. Intet af det, der nu bor og lever i mig, er kommet til Verden i det Hus, hvor mine Forældre boede. Jeg er som nyskabt. Jeg er født paa Frauenklinik , og min Fødselsdag er hin Aprilsdag, da De opererede mig. Mit Sind er ogsaa som et Aprilsvejr. Jeg kan græde og le paa samme Tid ......

d1c23l01p03

Og hver Gang, jeg føler, hvorledes dette nye Liv og denne nye Ungdom rører sig i mit Indre, som om jeg paa samme Tid var baade Moder og Barn, saa vender alle mine Tanker sig i grænseløs Taknemlighed mod Dem«.

d1c23l01p04

I have just spent a couple of weeks in his native town , but there I felt like a stranger the whole time. None of what now lives and breathes in me has come into existence in the house where my parents

Note: The American edition uses, "his parents."

lived. I am as reborn. I was born at Frauenklinik and my birthday is that day in April when they operated on me. My disposition is also like April weather. I can cry and laugh at the same time ......

d1-trc23l01p03

And each time I feel how this new life and this new youth stir in my mind as if I were mother and child at the same time, then all my thoughts turn to you in infinite gratitude."

d1-trc23l01p04

Ich war jetzt ein paar Wochen in seinem Geburtsort , aber ich habe mich immer wie eine Fremde dort gefühlt. Nichts von dem, was sich jetzt in mir rührt, ist in seinem Elternhaus zur Welt gekommen. Ich bin neugeschaffen. Ich bin dort unten bei Ihnen zur Welt gekommen, und mein Geburtstag ist jener Apriltag, an dem Sie mich operiert haben. Auch mein Gemüt ist wie Aprilwetter. Ich weine und lache zu gleicher Zeit. Mein Herz ist voll von Erwartung wie ein Frühlingstag. Und jedesmal, wenn ich fühle, wie sich in meinem Innern dieses neue Leben und diese neue Jugend rührt, als wäre ich zugleich Mutter und Kind, dann wandern alle meine Gedanken zurück zu Ihnen in grenzenloser Dankbarkeit.«

g1c19l01p03

A few days later Lili filled many pages in her diary:

a1c19p023

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

tsc19p025

A few days later Lili filled many pages of her diary again:

ts-trc19p025

Nogle Dage senere fyldte Lili igen flere Sider i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p027

Some days later, Lili again filled several pages in her diary:

d1-trc23p027

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

g1c19p023

"I know that only doctors can understand me when I speak of the question of my age. And a number of doctors have even promised to help me if I should later attempt to cut loose from Andreas in this respect, so that I am given an age that corresponds to my physical development as a woman. Others may ridicule this question or regard it with indifference; the important thing, in their view, is that one feels young and gives a youthful impression. I, on the other hand, believe just the contrary—that one is, in fact, actually as old as the official papers state, whether one feels young or old. Yesterday I discussed this question with a friend, who is a lawyer , and said to him:

a1c19d02p01

"Ich weiss, dass mich nur Ärzte verstehen können, wenn ich von der Frage meines Alters spreche. Und ein paar Ärzte haben mir auch versprochen, mir zu helfen, wenn ich später versuchen möchte, mich auch in diesem Punkt von Andreas ' freizumachen, damit ich das Alter erhalte, das meiner Körperentwicklung als Frau entspricht. Viele andere mögen diese Frage belächeln und sie für gleichgültig ansehen. Sie meinen, es käme vor allen Dingen darauf an, dass man sich jung fühle und dass man jung wirke . Ich dagegen meine gerade

das Gegenteil. Dass man nämlich tatsächlich das Alter hat, das auf den amtlichen Papieren steht, ob man sich nun jung oder alt fühlt. Gestern habe ich mich mit einem Freund, der Jurist ist , über diese Frage unterhalten, und ich sagte zu ihm:

tsc19d02p01

"I know that only doctors can understand me, when I talk of the question of my age. And a few doctors have promised to help me if I want to try later to free myself in this respect from Andreas , too, so that I can receive the age that is the equivalent of my physical development as a woman. Many others may smirk at that question and see it as irrelevant. They think that it is most important before all things to feel young and to appear young. I on the other hand think the

opposite. That one really is the age that is displayed on official documents, whether one feels young or old. Yesterday I talked to a friend, who is a lawyer , about this question and I said to him:

ts-trc19d02p01

»— Jeg ved, at kun Lægerne er i Stand til at forstaa mig, naar jeg taler om min Alder, og et Par danske Læger har lovet at hjælpe mig, naar jeg senere ogsaa paa dette Punkt vil søge at frigøre mig for Andreas , saa at jeg kan faa den Alder, der er i Overensstemmelse med min legemlige Udvikling som Kvinde. Mange andre vil betragte dette Spørgsmaal som latterligt og ligegyldigt og mene, at det blot kommer an paa, om man føler sig ung og virker ung. Men

jeg mener det modsatte. Enten man føler sig ung eller gammel, har man jo den Alder, der staar opført paa éns Papirer. I Gaar talte jeg med en Ven, som er Jurist, om dette Spørgsmaal, og jeg sagde til ham:

d1c23d02p01

"I know that only the doctors are able to understand me when I speak about my age, and a couple of Danish doctors have promised to help me when I later will seek to free myself from Andreas in this respect, so that I can have the age that is in accordance with my physical development as a woman. Many others will regard this question as ridiculous and unimportant and think that it only depends on whether you feel young and seem young. But

I think the opposite. Whether you feel young or old you have the age that is entered in your papers. Yesterday I talked to a friend who is a lawyer about this question and I said to him:

d1-trc23d02p01

»Ich weiß, daß mich nur Ärzte verstehen können, wenn ich von der Frage meines Alters spreche. Und ein paar Ärzte haben mir auch versprochen, mir zu helfen, wenn ich später versuchen möchte, mich auch in diesem Punkt

von Andreas freizumachen, damit ich das Alter erhalte, das meiner Körperentwicklung als Frau entspricht. Viele andere mögen diese Frage belächeln und sie für gleichgültig ansehen. Sie meinen, es käme vor allen Dingen darauf an, daß man sich jung fühle und daß man jung wirke . Ich dagegen meine gerade das Gegenteil. Daß man nämlich tatsächlich das Alter hat, das auf den amtlichen Papieren steht, ob man sich nun jung oder alt fühlt. Gestern habe ich mich mit einem Freund, der Jurist ist , über diese Frage unterhalten, und sagte zu ihm:

g1c19d02p01

"'Don't forget: every time one books a room in an hotel, fills up a census paper, applies for a situation, or marries, one must always answer questions about age.'

a1c19d02p02

"Vergiss nicht: jedesmal, wenn man irgendwo in ein Hotel zieht, bei der Volkszählung, wenn man eine Stellung sucht und gar, wenn man heiratet, immer muss man die Frage nach seinem Alter beantworten. Auf jedem Pass, auf jedem Legitimationspapier ist das Alter angegeben."

tsc19d02p02

"Do not forget: every time when one registers at a hotel, during the census, when looking for a job and also when one gets married, one always has to answer the question of one's age. On every passport, on every legitimation paper one's age is listed."

ts-trc19d02p02

— De maa ikke glemme, at hver Gang, jeg tager ind paa et Hotel, hver Gang, der er en Folketælling, eller hvis jeg søger en Stilling eller vil gifte mig — altid maa jeg besvare Spørgsmaalet om min Alder. Paa mit Pas, paa alle mine Legitimationspapirer staar der en Alder, som ikke er min.

d1c23d02p02

"You must not forget that every time I check into a hotel, every time there is a census, or if I apply for a position, or want to marry ‒ I always have to answer the question of my age. In my passport, in all my identification papers is an age that is not mine."

d1-trc23d02p02

,Vergiß nicht: jedesmal, wenn man irgendwo in ein Hotel zieht, bei der Volkszählung, wenn man eine Stellung sucht und gar, wenn man heiratet, immer muß man die Frage nach seinem Alter beantworten. Auf jedem Paß, auf jedem Legitimationspapier ist das Alter angegeben.'

g1c19d02p02

"And what did he say? He replied that I must not be so immodest. I must take over Andreas ' age as a heritage, just as I have inherited all his rights. Which I vigorously contested. 'Assume, for the sake of argument,' I said, 'that I have some talent for painting and now began to paint like him. Andreas had his contacts as painter. He had exhibited in a number of salons in Paris and elsewhere, and was a member of several of them. Can you imagine my running to the various exhibitions committees who knew him and there telling my fantastic story to the best of my ability, in order to claim whatever rights Andreas had? Both the French and the Danish colleagues of

Andreas would regard me as crazy if I should maintain that I was one and the same person as Andreas . At least I should be regarded as an improbable phenomenon and ridiculed accordingly.

a1c19d02p03

Und was antwortete der Jurist ?

tsc19d02p03

Ich dürfe eben nicht so unbescheiden sein. Ich müsste Andreas ' Alter genau so als Erbschaft übernehmen, wie ich ihn im übrigen mit allen seinen Rechten beerben wolle. Was ich energisch in Abrede stellte.

tsc19d02p04

And what did the lawyer reply?

ts-trc19d02p03

I should not be so immodest. I had to take over Andreas ' age as inheritance just as if I were about to inherit his estate with all the rights. What I energetically denied.

ts-trc19d02p04

Og hvad svarede Juristen?

d1c23d02p03

At jeg ikke maatte være saa fordringsfuld. Jeg maatte overtage Andreas ' Alder, ligesom jeg med fuld Ret havde overtaget den øvrige Arv efter ham. Men det bestred jeg heftigt.

d1c23d02p04

— Lad os for Eksempel antage, sagde jeg, at jeg ogsaa havde Talent for at male og vilde begynde at male ligesom han. Andreas havde sine Forbindelser som Maler. Han havde udstillet paa en Række af de store Udstillinger i Paris og var Medlem af flere Udstillingskomitéer. Kunde De nu tænke Dem, at jeg henvendte mig til de forskellige Udstillingskomitéer, der har kendt Andreas , fortalte dem min fantastiske Historie og krævede de samme Rettigheder, som han havde erhvervet? Baade Andreas ' danske og franske Kolleger vilde anse mig for at være forrykt ...... De vilde overhovedet ikke gaa ind paa den Anskuelse, at han og jeg skulde betragtes som én og samme Person ...... De vilde enten ikke tro et Ord af, hvad jeg fortalte dem, eller ogsaa vilde de beglo mig som et usandsynligt Fænomen. Nej, hvis jeg malede igen, saa maatte jeg begynde forfra paa at opbygge mig en Position. Ellers vilde jeg bare blive Genstand for Spot og Latter.

d1c23d02p05

And what did the lawyer answer?

d1-trc23d02p03

That I should not be so demanding. I must take over Andreas ' age, just as I had quite rightly taken over the rest of the inheritance from him. But I denied that vehemently.

d1-trc23d02p04

"Let us assume for instance," I said, "that I also had a talent for painting and wanted to start painting like him. Andreas had his connections as a painter. He had exhibited at a number of the major exhibitions in Paris and was a member of several exhibition committees. Now could you imagine if I approached the various exhibition committees who had known Andreas , told them my fantastic story and demanded the same rights as he had acquired? Both Andreas ' Danish and French colleagues would consider me to be insane ...... They would not at all go along with the view that he and I should be regarded as one and the same person ...... They would either not believe a word of what I told them or they would stare at me like an improbable phenomenon. No, if I painted again I would have to start all over building a position. Otherwise I would just be an object of ridicule and laughter.

d1-trc23d02p05

Und was antwortete er?

g1c19d02p03

Ich dürfe eben nicht so unbescheiden sein. Ich müßte Andreas Alter genau so als Erbschaft übernehmen, wie ich ihn im übrigen mit allen seinen Rechten beerben wolle. Was ich energisch in Abrede stellte. ,Nimm zum Beispiel einmal an', sagte ich, ,daß ich auch Talent zum Malen haben würde und jetzt zu malen begänne wie er. Andreas hatte seine Verbindungen als Maler. Er hatte in einer Reihe von Salons in Paris usw. ausgestellt und war Mitglied mehrerer von ihnen. Kannst du dir nun vorstellen, daß ich zu den verschiedenen Ausstellungskomitees, die ihn gekannt haben, laufe und dort meine phantastische Geschichte zum besten gebe, um dadurch Andreas Rechte für mich in Anspruch zu nehmen? Die französischen wie auch die dänischen Kollegen von Andreas würden mich für verrückt ansehen, wollte ich behaupten, ich sei ein und dieselbe Person wie Andreas . Zum mindesten würde man mich wie ein unwahrscheinliches Phänomen betrachten und mich auslachen.

g1c19d02p04

Regularized form: "'

No, if I should really paint I would have to build up my career right from the start, as otherwise I should make myself a laughing-stock.

a1c19d02p04

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

tsc19d02p06

No, if I really were to paint one day, I would have to build my entire career anew. Otherwise I would just be the butt of the people's jokes.

ts-trc19d02p06

d1c23d02p05

d1-trc23d02p05

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

g1c19d02p05

Regularized form: "'

And can you see me— Lili Elbe —claiming the distinction which Andreas Sparre received from the French state as a painter? Can you imagine me decorating myself with it? No, I revere the memory of Andreas too much for this.

a1c19d02p05

Und hast du zum Beispiel gesehen, dass ich, Lili Elbe , die Auszeichnung, die Andreas Sparre vom französischen Staat als Maler bekommen hat, für mich in Anspruch nehme. Könntest du dir vorstellen, dass ich mich damit schmücken würde? Nein, dazu ist mir die Erinnerung an Andreas zu heilig.

tsc19d02p07

And could you see, for example, me, Lili Elbe , claiming the award that Andreas Sparre received from the French state? Could you imagine me decorating myself with that? No, for that the memory of Andreas is too sacred for me.

ts-trc19d02p07

Og kunde De for Eksempel tænke Dem, at jeg, Lili Elbe , skulde have Ret til det Udmærkelsestegn, som den franske Stat tildelte Maleren Andreas Sparre ? Kunde De et Øjeblik tro, jeg vilde bære det? Nej, dertil er Mindet om Andreas mig for helligt ...... Jeg ved godt, at jeg er en taabelig Kvinde og kun et Nul, der intet betyder.

d1c23d02p06

"And could you for example imagine that I, Lili Elbe , should have the right to the decoration awarded Andreas Sparre by the State of France ? Could you think for a moment that I would wear it? No, for the memory of Andreas Sparre is too sacred for me ...... I know that I am a foolish woman and just a nobody who does not matter.

d1-trc23d02p06

Und hast du zum Beispiel gesehen, daß ich, Lili Elbe , die Auszeichnung, die Andreas Sparre vom französischen Staat als Maler bekommen hat, für mich in Anspruch nehme? Könntest du dir vorstellen, daß ich mich damit schmücken würde? Nein, dazu ist mir die Erinnerung an Andreas zu heilig.

g1c19d02p06

Regularized form: "'

I know very well that I am only a stupid female and a mere nobody.

a1c19d02p06

Ich weiss sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein grosses Nichts.

tsc19d02p08

I know very well, I am just a stupid female person and also a big nobody.

ts-trc19d02p08

d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

Ich weiß sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein großes Nichts.

g1c19d02p07

Regularized form: "'

And, moreover, I am well aware that when one inherits, it always means that one enters upon the heritage with all its assets and liabilities, and for this reason one can even refuse to accept an inheritance. I lay no claim to Andreas ' heritage, least of all to his birthday, for his birthday signifies for me nothing but a liability. I cannot be forcibly compelled to take over this heritage. I will not drag Andreas ' age along with me like a burden, as I fear that just this very circumstance might be disastrous for my future. You have only to look at me to see that I lack all the assurance which Andreas possessed. My next-of-kin, that is, Andreas ' relatives, tell me every day how altogether different I am in character from Andreas . He was planted so firmly upon the earth. He could withstand

storms. I feel like a young ingrafted tree which can be uprooted with the first gust of wind.

a1c19d02p07

Und ausserdem weisst du ja, wenn man erbt, ~~dass~~ heisst es immer, dass man mit allen Aktiven und Passiven die Erbschaft antritt, und

aus diesem Grunde kann man sich auch weigern, eine Erbschaft anzutreten. Ich mache keinen Anspruch auf Andreas ' Erbschaft. Am allerwenigsten aber auf seinen Geburtstag, denn sein Geburtstag bedeutet für mich nichts als Schulden. Man kann mich doch nun nicht gewaltsam zwingen, diese Erbschaft zu übernehmen. Ich will das Alter von Andreas nicht wie eine Last mit mir herumschleppen. Denn ich fürchte, dass gerade dieser Umstand für meine Zukunft unheilvoll sein könnte. Sieh mich doch nur an,

Regularized form: m

ir fehlt ja all die Sicherheit, die Andreas besessen hat. Meine Nächsten, das heisst Andreas ' Verwandte, sagen es mir ja jeden Tag, wie ganz anders Andreas in seinem Wesen gewesen sei als ich. Er stand so sicher auf der Erde. Er konnte Stürme aushalten. Ich komme mir vor, wie ein ganz jungeingepflanzter Baum, der bei dem ersten Windstoss entwurzelt werden kann.

tsc19d02p09

And also you know that when one inherits something it always means that one assumes all the assets and liabilities, and

for that reason one can refuse to accept an inheritance. I do not claim Andreas ' inheritance. Least of all for his birthday, because his birthday means nothing to me but a liability. I can not be required to take over this inheritance by force. I don't want to carry Andreas ' age around with me like a burden. Because I fear that especially that condition could be damning for my own future. Just look at me, I am missing all the securities that Andreas had. My next of kin, meaning Andreas ' relatives, tell me every day how completely different from me Andreas had been in his temperment. He stood so securely on the ground. He could weather storms. I feel like a freshly planted tree that will be uprooted by the first gale of wind.

ts-trc19d02p09

Desuden hedder det jo ogsaa, at naar man arver, kan man nægte at vedgaa Arv og Gæld. Jeg har intet Øjeblik vedgaaet Arven efter Andreas .

d1c23d02p07

Jeg har ikke vedgaaet noget som helst og allermindst hans Fødselsdag, der for mig er ensbetydende med hans Gæld. Jeg vil ikke

blive ved med at slæbe om paa Andreas ' Alder som paa en Byrde, der betyder en Trusel for hele min Fremtid.

d1c23d02p08

Jeg mangler den Sikkerhed, han besad. Mine nærmeste, det vil sige Andreas ' Slægtninge, fortæller mig daglig, hvor væsensforskellig jeg er fra ham, hvor helt anderledes Andreas var i sin Maade at være paa. Han stod saa sikkert paa Jorden. Han kunde taale stærke Storme, og jeg har Følelsen af, at jeg er et nyplantet Træ, som det første Vindstød kan rive op og blæse omkuld.

d1c23d02p09

"Besides it is said that when you inherit you can refuse to accept the inheritance and the debt. I have at no time accepted Andreas ' inheritance.

d1-trc23d02p07

"I have not accepted anything and least of all his birthday which to me is synonymous with his debt. I will not

keep on carrying Andreas ' age around as a burden that means a threat to my whole future.

d1-trc23d02p08

"I lack the confidence that he possessed. My closest relatives, that is Andreas ' family, tell me every day how essentially different I am from him, how completely different Andreas was in his behaviour. He stood so firmly on the ground. He could stand powerful storms and I have the feeling that I am a newly planted tree that can be uprooted and blown away by the first gust of wind.

d1-trc23d02p09

Und außerdem weißt du ja, wenn man erbt, heißt es immer, daß man mit allen Aktiven und Passiven die Erbschaft antritt, und aus diesem Grunde kann man sich auch weigern, eine Erbschaft anzutreten. Ich mache keinen Anspruch auf Andreas Erbschaft. Am allerwenigsten aber auf seinen Geburtstag, denn sein Geburtstag bedeutet für mich nichts als Schulden. Man kann mich doch nun nicht gewaltsam zwingen, diese Erbschaft zu übernehmen. Ich will das Alter von Andreas nicht wie eine Last mit mir herumschleppen. Denn ich fürchte, daß gerade dieser Umstand für meine Zukunft unheilvoll sein könnte. Sieh mich doch nur an. Mir fehlt ja all die Sicherheit, die Andreas besessen hat. Meine Nächsten, das heißt Andreas ' Verwandte, sagen es mir ja jeden Tag, wie ganz anders Andreas in seinem Wesen sei als ich. Er stand so sicher auf der Erde. Er konnte Stürme aushalten. Ich komme mir vor, wie ein ganz jung eingepflanzter Baum, der bei dem ersten Windstoß entwurzelt werden kann.

g1c19d02p08

Regularized form: "'

I must now try to devise a livelihood, to undertake something, to earn money for my support. And this is just where age comes in. Once a person secures a position, then it all depends upon how one feels and how one carries out the duties attaching to such position; but if a person has to begin right at the beginning, then everybody asks, especially if the subject be a woman, how old she is. And almost everywhere young people are preferred because it is thought that the future is theirs and that they possess possibilities of development. This applies not only to artists, but to all vocations.

a1c19d02p08

Ich muss jetzt versuchen, mir eine Existenz zu schaffen, irgend etwas zu unternehmen, Geld zu verdienen für meinen Unterhalt. Und gerade hierbei spielt das Alter eine Rolle. Hat man einmal eine Stellung, hat man sich einen Platz erobert, so spielt das Alter, das auf den Papieren steht, keine Rolle. Dann kommt es nur darauf an, wie man sich fühlt und wie man wirkt, wie man seinen Platz im Dasein ausfüllt. Aber soll man ganz von vorn beginnen, dann fragt alles, besonders wenn es sich um eine Frau handelt; wie alt ist sie? Und fast überall werden die Jungen vorgezogen, weil man meint, dass sie Zukunft haben, dass sie Entwicklungsmöglichkelten besitzen. Nicht nur bei Künstlern gilt dies. Auch bei allen anderen Berufen.

tsc19d02p10

❡

Jeg maa nu forsøge at skabe mig en Eksistens. Jeg maa tage mig et eller andet for, jeg maa selv tjene mit Brød. Men netop derfor spiller min Alder en Rolle. Har man først en Stilling, har man erobret sig en Plads i Livet, ja, saa kan det jo være ligegyldigt, hvilken Alder der staar paa éns Papirer. Saa kommer det kun an paa, om man har sin Arbejdsevne i Behold, om man er i Stand til at udfylde sin Stilling. Men skal man begynde forfra, saa spørger alle, og især naar det drejer sig om en Kvinde, hvor gammel man er. Og næsten overalt er det de unge, der bliver foretrukket, fordi man mener, at de sidder med Udviklingsmulighederne, at det er dem, der er Fremtiden. Det gælder ikke alene Kunstnere, det gaar igen i alle Virksomheder.

d1c23d02p10

"I now have to try to create an existence for myself. I have to do something, I have to earn a living myself. But that is exactly why my age matters. Once you have a position, you have made yourself a place in life, yes, then it does not matter what age is in your papers. Then all that matters is if you have the ability to work, if you are able to fill your position. But if you have to start from scratch then everyone asks, and especially when it concerns a woman, how old you are. And almost everywhere the young are preferred because you think that they have the potential for development, that they are the future. This not only applies to artists, it is the case in all businesses.

d1-trc23d02p10

Ich muß jetzt versuchen, mir eine Existenz zu schaffen, irgend etwas zu unternehmen, Geld zu verdienen für meinen Unterhalt. Und gerade hierbei spielt das Alter eine Rolle. Hat man einmal eine Stellung, hat man, sich

einen Platz erobert, dann kommt es nur darauf an, wie man sich fühlt und wie man wirkt, wie man seinen Platz im Dasein ausfüllt. Aber soll man ganz von vorn beginnen, dann fragt alles, besonders wenn es sich um eine Frau handelt: wie alt ist sie? Und fast überall werden die Jungen vorgezogen, weil man meint, daß sie Zukunft haben, daß sie Entwicklungsmöglichkeiten besitzen. Nicht nur bei Künstlern gilt dies. Auch bei allen anderen Berufen.

g1c19d02p09

Regularized form: "'

I admit that my case is absolutely unusual, unique. But cannot you understand how wrong it is to insert my name instead of Andreas ' name on the baptismal certificate? My name, Lili Elbe , whom neither Andreas ' father nor mother knew. And now, legally speaking, it is really as if Andreas had never existed.

a1c19d02p09

Ich gebe zu, dass mein Fall etwas Aussergewöhnliches ist, etwas Neues. Aber kannst du denn nicht auch verstehen, dass es unrichtig ist, dass man meinen Namen an Stelle von Andreas ' auf den Taufschein gesetzt hat? Meinen Namen, Lili Elbe , den weder Andreas ' Vater noch Mutter gekannt haben. Und jetzt ist es wirklich so, als habe, juridisch gesehen, Andreas nie existiert.

tsc19d02p11

❡

Jeg vil indrømme Dem, at mit Tilfælde er noget usædvanligt, noget helt nyt. Men kan De da ikke forstaa, at det er ganske uretfærdigt og urigtigt, at mit Navn staar i Stedet for Andreas ' Navn paa hans Daabsattest? Mit Navn er Lili Elbe , og jeg har hverken haft den samme Fader eller den samme Moder som Andreas . Forholdet er jo virkelig det, at Andreas , juridisk set, aldrig har eksisteret, men det er selvfølgelig Vanvid. Naturligvis maa han have eksisteret, for en Mængde Malerier, der er signeret med hans Navn, hænger rundt paa adskillige Museer, baade her i Danmark og i Frankrig, og Andreas har udgivet Bøger, der bærer hans Navn ...... Derfor mener jeg, at det var ligesaa uretfærdigt mod ham som mod mig at slette hans Navn i Kirkebogen og sætte mit i Stedet for.

d1c23d02p11

"I'll grant you that my case is something unusual, something completely new. But can't you understand that it is quite unfair and wrong that my name replaces Andreas ' name on his birth certificate? My name is Lili Elbe and I have neither had the same mother nor the same father as Andreas . The fact is that Andreas , legally speaking, has never existed, but that is, of course, madness. Of course he must have existed because a large number of paintings, signed with his name, hang in several museums, both here in Denmark and in France, and Andreas has published books that bear his name ...... That is why I think that it is just as unfair to him as it is to me to erase his name in the church register and replace it with mine."

d1-trc23d02p11

Ich gebe zu, daß mein Fall etwas Außergewöhnliches ist, etwas Neues. Aber kannst du denn nicht auch verstehen, daß es unrichtig ist, daß man meinen Namen an Stelle von Andreas ' auf den Taufschein gesetzt hat? Meinen Namen, Lili Elbe , den weder Andreas ' Vater noch Mutter gekannt haben. Und jetzt ist es wirklich so, als habe, juridisch gesehen, Andreas nie existiert.

g1c19d02p10

Regularized form: "'

But that is, of course, nonsense, sheer nonsense, as a large number of paintings bear the name of Andreas . You can find his pictures in many galleries and art collections here. Andreas published books which bear his name. Consequently, I think it was wrong simply to cross his name out of the register and to insert mine in its place.

Regularized form: '

a1c19d02p10

Aber das ist natürlich Unsinn, heller Wahnsinn. Denn eine grosse Zahl von Gemälden trägt den Namen von Andreas . In vielen Museen und Kunstsammlungen hier in Dänemark und in Frankreich kannst du seine Gemälde finden. Bücher hat Andreas herausgegeben, die

seinen Namen tragen. Deshalb meine ich, dass es unrichtig war, seinen Namen im Kirchenbuch einfach auszustreichen und dafür meinen Namen hinzusetzen."

tsc19d02p12

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

Aber das ist natürlich Unsinn, heller Wahnsinn. Denn eine große Zahl von Gemälden trägt den Namen von Andreas . In vielen Museen und Kunstsammlungen hier in Dänemark und in Frankreich kannst du seine Gemälde finden. Bücher hat Andreas herausgegeben, die seinen Namen tragen. Deshalb meine ich, daß es unrichtig war, seinen Namen im Kirchenbuch einfach auszustreichen und dafür meinen Namen hinzusetzen.'

g1c19d02p11

"And what did the lawyer answer?

a1c19d02p11

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

tsc19d02p13

❡

Hvad svarede saa den kloge Jurist til dette?

d1c23d02p12

What did the smart lawyer answer to this?

d1-trc23d02p12

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

g1c19d02p12

"In that case I must regard the name of Andreas , to some extent, as my pseudonym.

a1c19d02p12

Dann müsste ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermassen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

tsc19d02p14

❡

At jeg maatte betragte Andreas ' Navn, som om det paa en vis Maade var mit Pseudonym.

d1c23d02p13

That I had to consider Andreas ' name as if it were in some way a pseudonym.

d1-trc23d02p13

Dann müßte ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermaßen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

g1c19d02p13

"'No,' I retorted, 'that would be wrong,

as I have nothing whatever to do with Andreas ' pictures. They were created by Andreas . And it is just his pictures that are his absolute property. As a painter he was no dual personality. When he painted, he was an entire man, and strangely enough, until his last breath.'

a1c19d02p13

"Nein," entgegnete ich, "das würde ein Unrecht sein, denn mit Andreas ' Bildern habe ich ja nichts zu tun. Sie si nd von Andreas geschaffen. Und gerade seine Bilder sind sein völliges, unumschränktes Eigentum. Als Maler war er kein Doppelwesen. Wenn er malte, war er ganz und gar Mann. Und seltsamerweise, - bis zu seinem letzten Atemzug."

tsc19d02p15

❡

— Nej, svarede jeg, det vilde være en blodig Uret, for med Andreas ' Billeder har jeg jo intet at gøre ... ... de er Andreas ' Værk ... og hans alene. Netop hans Billeder er hans fulde og ubestridelige

Ejendom. Som Maler var han ikke noget Dobbeltvæsen. Naar han malede, var han Mand, helt og fuldt ...... og ejendommeligt nok, det blev han ved med at være lige til det sidste ...... Han bevarede sin Kunstnerpersonlighed uberørt af Lili s Indflydelse.

d1c23d02p14

"No," I replied, "that would be a grievous injustice for I have nothing to do with Andreas ' pictures ... ... they are Andreas ' work ... and his alone. Precisely Andreas ' pictures are his full and indisputable

property. As a painter he was not two persons. When he painted, he was fully and completely a man ...... and curiously enough he remained so to the end ...... He maintained his artist personality unaffected by Lili 's influence."

d1-trc23d02p14

,Nein', entgegnete ich, ,das würde ein Unrecht sein, denn mit Andreas ' Bildern habe ich ja nichts zu tun. Sie sind von Andreas geschaffen. Und gerade seine Bilder sind sein völliges, unumschränktes Eigentum. Als Maler war er kein Doppelwesen. Wenn er malte, war er ganz und gar Mann. Und seltsamerweise – bis zu seinem letzten Atemzug.'

g1c19d02p14

" My friend then inquired whether I had never felt any desire to paint like Andreas , whose art had been the most characteristic thing about him.

a1c19d02p14

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Zentrale in ihm gewesen sei.

tsc19d02p16

❡

Saa spurgte min Ven mig, om jeg aldrig havde følt Trang til at male ligesom Andreas , netop fordi hans Kunst havde været det egentlige og det centrale i ham.

d1c23d02p15

Then my friend asked me if I had never felt the urge to paint like Andreas exactly because his art had been essential and central to him.

d1-trc23d02p15

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das

Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Bestimmende in ihm gewesen sei.

g1c19d02p15

"'No,' I replied, 'I have not the slightest desire to paint. Not because I still feel too weak and tired. No; but it grows more apparent to me every day how little, in contrast with him, I see with a painter's eyes. I have no desire to continue his work. My life must go its own way. I do not mean by this that I am no artist. Perhaps I am an artist. Anyhow, I believe most emphatically that I shall find another outlet for my artistic impulses, that is, for the desire to shape something. But I cannot say anything definite about this now, as I am still quite in the dark.'

a1c19d02p15

"Nein," antwortete ich, "ich habe nicht die geringste Lust zu malen. Und zwar nicht deshalb, weil ich mich noch zu schwach und müde fühle. Nein, aber ich sehe ja mit jedem Tag, wie ich immer weniger, im Gegensatz zu ihm, mit Maleraugen sehe. Es gibt keinen Wunsch in mir, sein Werk fortzusetzen. Mein Leben muss seinen eigenen Weg gehen. Damit will ich nicht sagen, dass ich kein Künstler bin. Vielleicht bin ich sogar Künstler. Aber ich glaube ganz bestimmt, dass ich einen anderen Ausdruck für mein Kunstverlangen, das heisst für das Verlangen, etwas zu gestalten, suchen, finden werde. Aber darüber kann ich noch gar nichts sagen. Denn ich weiss über alldies in mir noch gar nichts."

tsc19d02p17

❡

— Nej, sagde jeg, jeg har aldrig sporet den ringeste Trang til at male, og det er ikke alene, fordi jeg endnu føler mig svag og træt. Nej, jeg mærker hver Dag, hvorledes jeg i Modsætning til ham stedse mindre og mindre ser paa mine Omgivelser med en Malers Øje ...... jeg nærer intet som helst Ønske om at fortsætte hans Værk. Jeg maa gaa mine egne Veje ...... dermed vil jeg slet ikke sige, at jeg ikke er Kunstner ...... Maaske er jeg det ...... men jeg føler afgjort, at jeg maa prøve paa at finde et andet Udtryk for min Kunstnertrang, det vil sige for Trangen til at skabe og frembringe noget. Men derom er jeg endnu ikke i Stand til at udtale mig. ...... Jeg ved endnu ikke tilstrækkeligt om mig selv til at kunne sige, hvad der bor i mig.

d1c23d02p16

"No," I said, "I have never noticed the slightest urge to paint and it is not only because I still feel weak and tired. No, I feel every day how, as opposed to him, I look at my surroundings less and less with a painter's eye ...... I have no wish at all to continue his work. I have to find my own way ...... I don't mean to say that I'm not an artist ...... Maybe I am ...... but I definitely feel that I have to try to find another expression of my artistic urge, that is the urge to create and produce something. But I have no idea about that yet. ...... I don't know enough about myself yet to be able to say what I have in me."

d1-trc23d02p16

,Nein', antwortete ich, ,ich habe nicht die geringste Lust zu malen. Und zwar nicht deshalb, weil ich mich noch zu schwach und müde fühle. Nein, aber ich sehe ja mit jedem Tag, wie ich immer weniger, im Gegensatz zu ihm, mit Maleraugen sehe. Es gibt keinen Wunsch in mir, sein Werk fortzusetzen. Mein Leben muß seinen eigenen Weg gehen. Damit will ich nicht sagen, daß ich kein Künstler bin. Vielleicht bin ich sogar Künstler. Aber ich glaube ganz bestimmt, daß ich einen anderen Ausdruck für mein Kunstverlangen, das heißt für das Verlangen, etwas zu gestalten, suchen, finden werde. Aber darüber kann ich noch gar nichts sagen. Denn ich weiß über all dies in mir noch gar nichts.'

g1c19d02p16

"We were strolling through the grounds of Bernstorff Castle . It was a dreary December day, and my friend asked me whether I had lost all that feeling for Nature which inspired Andreas .

a1c19d02p16

Wir gingen durch den Schlosspark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

tsc19d02p18

❡

Vi gik senere gennem Bernstorffs Slotspark under en tung og lav Decemberhimmel. Min Ven spurgte mig, om jeg havde mistet den Naturfølelse, der havde været saa udpræget hos Andreas .

d1c23d02p17

We later walked through the park of Bernstorff Palace under a heavy and low December sky. My friend asked me if I had lost the appreciation of nature that had been so marked in Andreas .

d1-trc23d02p17

Wir gingen durch den Schloßpark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

g1c19d02p17

"'No,' I said; 'only whatever I look at now no longer suggests a subject for a picture. I am not "possessed" by a landscape, by a mood of Nature. If I see anything really beautiful, I feel as if my subconscious mind were absorbing it. More than this I do not know. Perhaps one

day I shall be able to give a visible-audible expression to all this, in some artistic form, whether it be painting, or music, or prose, or something else. At the moment I find my greatest release in music. But when I grow introspective I seem to myself to be like a boat with all sails spread which drifts at the mercy of every current of the wind. For, indeed, I am still so very new. I must first have time to find myself. How old am I in reality? Perhaps the doctors can say. My age has nothing whatever to do with the age of Andreas , as I did not share flesh and blood with Andreas from the beginning. It was Andreas who possessed supremacy over this body for almost a lifetime. And it was only later that I developed in our common body, so that this body evolved until there was no longer any room for Andreas .'

a1c19d02p17

"Nein," sagte ich zu ihm, "nur alles, was ich sehe, bedeutet für mich nicht mehr ein Motiv zu einem Bilde. Ich bin nicht "besessen" von einer Landschaft, von einer Naturstimmung. Sehe ich etwas wirklich Schönes, so habe ich das Gefühl, als ob mein Unterbewusstsein es in sich einsauge. Mehr weiss ich heute nicht. Vielleicht, dass ich all diesem eines Tages einen sichtbaren - hörbaren Ausdruck geben kann, in irgendeiner Kunstform, ob es nun

Malerei oder Musik oder Dichtung ist, oder irgend etwas anderes. ? Augenblicklich löst nichts so viel in mir aus wie Musik. Aber denke ich über mich nach, so komme ich mir vor wie ein Boot, das mit vollen Segeln dahintreibt und sich vom Winde führen lasst, wohin der Wind will ... Herrgott, ich bin ja noch so neu . Ich muss ja erst Zeit bekommen, mich selber zu finden - wie alt ich in Wirklichkeit bin? Vielleicht können das Ärzte feststellen. Doch mit Andreas ' Alter hat mein Alter nichts zu tun. Denn ich habe ja nicht von Anfang an mit Andreas zusammen Leib und Blut geteilt. Andreas war es ja, der fast ein ganzes Menschenleben lang, oder vielleicht noch länger, die Alleinherrschaft über diesen Körper besessen hat. Und erst später war ich es, die sich in unserem gemeinsamen Körper entwickelte, sodass dieser Körper sich immer mehr umbildete. Bis darin keine Kraft, oder keine Lebenskraft, mehr für Andreas war.

tsc19d02p19

❡

— Nej, svarede jeg ham, kun ser jeg ikke længere paa alt, som paa et Motiv til et Billede. Jeg kan ikke føle et Naturlandskab eller en Naturstemning som en »Besættelse«. Ser jeg noget virkeligt skønt, saa har jeg en Følelse af, at det er min Underbevidsthed, der opsuger det ...... Mere ved jeg ikke nu ...... Maaske bliver jeg engang i Stand til at give det, jeg ser, et synligt eller hørligt Udtryk under en eller anden Kunstform, enten det nu bliver gennem Malerkunst, Musik eller Digtning eller maaske noget helt andet. For Øjeblikket er der noget hos mig, der finder sin Udløsning i Musik, men hvis jeg prøver paa at tænke nærmere over det, saa forekommer jeg mig selv som en Baad, der for fulde Sejl lader sig drive hen, hvor Vinden vil føre den ......

d1c23d02p18

Herregud, jeg er jo endnu saa ung ...... jeg maa da først have Tid til at finde mig selv. Hvor gammel er jeg i Virkeligheden? Det kan maaske Lægerne afgøre. Men med Andreas ' Alder har min intet at gøre. Jeg har jo ikke lige fra Begyndelsen delt Andreas '

Blod og Legeme. Andreas herskede i en hel Menneskealder eller maaske endnu længere uindskrænket over det ...... Det var først senere, at jeg begyndte at udvikle mig i det samme Legeme, som derefter omsluttede os, indtil det ikke længere havde Kraft nok til at huse os begge to, og Andreas ' Livskraft ebbede ud.

d1c23d02p19

"No," I answered him, "only I no longer look at everything as at a subject for a picture. I can't feel a landscape or a mood of Nature as an 'obsession'. If I see something really beautiful I have a feeling that it is my subconscious that absorbs it ...... That's all I know now ...... Perhaps I'll once be able to give a visible or audible expression to what I see in one art form or other, be it in painting, music or literature or perhaps something completely different. At the moment there is something in me that finds its release in music but if I try to think about it I appear to myself as a boat letting itself drift where the wind takes it at full sail ......"

d1-trc23d02p18

"Good lord, I'm still so young ...... I must have time to find myself first. How old am I really? Perhaps the doctors can decide. But my age has nothing to do with Andreas ' age. I haven't shared Andreas '

blood and body from the beginning. Andreas ruled over it absolutely for a whole lifetime or maybe even longer ...... It was only later that I began to develop in the same body which then enclosed us until it no longer had enough strength to house the both of us, and Andreas ' vitality ebbed away.

d1-trc23d02p19

,Nein', sagte ich, ,nur alles, was ich sehe, bedeutet für mich nicht mehr ein Motiv zu einem Bilde. Ich bin nicht ,besessen' von einer Landschaft, von einer Naturstimmung. Sehe ich etwas wirklich Schönes, so habe ich das Gefühl, als ob mein Unterbewußtsein es in sich einsauge. Mehr weiß ich heute nicht. Vielleicht, daß ich all diesem eines Tages einen sichtbaren – hörbaren Ausdruck geben kann, in irgendeiner Kunstform, ob es nun Malerei oder Musik oder Dichtung ist, oder irgend etwas anderes. Augenblicklich löst nichts so viel in mir aus wie Musik. Aber denke ich über mich nach, so komme ich mir vor wie ein Boot, das mit vollen Segeln dahintreibt und sich vom Winde führen läßt, wohin der Wind will . . . Herrgott, ich bin ja noch so neu. Ich muß ja erst Zeit bekommen, mich selber zu finden. – Wie

alt ich in Wirklichkeit bin? Vidieicht können das Ärzte feststellen. Doch mit Andreas ' Alter hat mein Alter nichts zu tun. Denn ich habe ja nicht von Anfang an mit Andreas zusammen Leib und Blut geteilt. Andreas war es ja, der fast ein ganzes Menschenleben lang die Alleinherrschaft über diesen Körper besessen hat. Und erst später war ich es, die sich in unserem gemeinsamen Körper entwickelte, so daß dieser Körper sich umbildete. Bis darin keine Kraft . . . kein Raum mehr für Andreas war.

g1c19d02p18

Regularized form: "'

However puzzling all this may sound to others, this is exactly how the matter stands, and, for this reason, I think that the name of Andreas ought to remain in the register of the church where he was baptised, and that papers ought to be issued for me, who has no home and no country, giving my biological age.'

a1c19d02p18

Wie wirr das auch für andere sich anhören mag, so und nicht anders ist es gewesen. Und deshalb meine ich, dass der Name von Andreas in dem Kirchenbuch seines Heimatortes , dort, wo er geboren ist, stehen bleiben muss, - und dass man mir, der Heimatlosen, einen Pass für Staatenlose, einen "Nansenpass", mit meinem biologischen Alter ausstellen müsste ..."

tsc19d02p20

❡

Ja, det maa for andre lyde som Galmandssnak, men saaledes og ikke anderledes var det ...... Og derfor mener jeg, at Andreas ' Navn burde være blevet staaende i Kirkebogen i den By, hvor han blev født ...... og at der for mig, for den Hjemløse, skulde udstedes et af de Pas, man udsteder for Folk, der intet Fædreland har ...... et Nansenpas, hvorpaa min biologiske Alder skulde anføres.

d1c23d02p20

"Yes, to others it must sound like nonsense but this is how it was and not otherwise ...... And that is why I think that Andreas ' name should have been left in the church register in the town where he was born ...... and that for me, for the homeless, one of those passports should be issued that are issued to people who have no native country ...... a Nansen passport

Note: The term "Nansen passport" is missing in the American edition.

where my biological age should be stated."

d1-trc23d02p20

Wie wirr sich das auch für andere anhören mag, so und nicht anders ist es gewesen. Und deshalb meine ich, daß der Name von Andreas in dem Kirchenbuch seines Heimatortes, dort, wo er geboren ist, stehen bleiben muß – und daß man mir, der Heimatlosen, einen Paß für Staatenlose, einen »Nansenpaß«, mit meinem biologischen Alter ausstellen müßte . . .'

g1c19d02p19

" My friend parted from me, shaking his head. And this head-shaking was what I encountered from most people.

Regularized form: "

a1c19d02p19

Kopfschüttelnd verliess mich schliesslich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen."

tsc19d02p21

❡

Rystende paa Hovedet forlod min Ven mig, og jeg ved, at jeg hos de fleste andre Mennesker vil møde den samme Hovedrysten.

d1c23d02p21

Shaking his head my friend left me and I know I will meet the same shaking of the head with most other people."

d1-trc23d02p21

Kopfschüttelnd verließ mich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen.«

g1c19d02p20

TS: Lili Elbe Buch (German Typescript)

Chapter 19

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law inhabited a villa facing a little fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious glances.

a1c19p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier weilen.

tsc19p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in a villa outside the small fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious gazes.

ts-trc19p001

Lili s Broder og Svigerinde boede i Nærheden af en af Jylland smaa Fjordbyer . Her kunde hun opholde sig uden at være udsat for nysgerrige Blikke.

d1c23p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in the vicinity of one of Jutland 's small fjord towns . Here she could stay without being exposed to prying eyes.

d1-trc23p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier leben. –

g1c19p001

She was received most cordially, especially by her sister-in-law , a dear good creature who as a woman showed Lili not only sympathy, but profound understanding from the first moment.

a1c19p002

tsc19p002

She was received in the most heartfelt way, especially from her sister-in-law , a

kind-hearted person

Regularized form: Menschenkind

, that showed not just deepest compassion but also understanding for Lili as a woman.

ts-trc19p002

d1c23p002

She was received very kindly by both of them. Her sister-in-law was a good-hearted person who as a woman not only had the deepest compassion for her, but also showed her the deepest understanding.

d1-trc23p002

g1c19p002

The brother did not find it easy the first few days to adjust himself to his new sister, but it was not long before he was quite at home with her and could regard Lili simply as a sister.

a1c19p003

tsc19p003

The brother did not have an easy time getting used to the new sister. But it did not take long for him to find his way around her, and he saw nothing else but a sister in Lili .

ts-trc19p003

d1c23p003

In the first days her brother did not find it easy to adjust to Lili but it did not last very long before he had gotten used to her and regarded her completely as his sister.

d1-trc23p003

g1c19p003

Brother and sister-in-law vied with each other to give Lili a peaceful and happy time during her stay in Andreas ' home town .

a1c19p004

Und Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

tsc19p004

And brother and sister-in-law competed with one another to make Lili 's days in Andreas ' home peaceful and sheltered.

ts-trc19p004

De kappedes begge om at gøre Dagene her i Andreas ' Fødeby saa hyggelige og fredfyldte som muligt.

d1c23p004

They both competed to make the days here in Andreas ' native town as pleasant and peaceful as possible.

d1-trc23p004

Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

g1c19p004

a1c19p005

tsc19p005

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d1c23p005

d1-trc23p005

Note: 14 Elbe

zu Wort kommen: es gäbe auch in kleinen Städten böse Menschen und schlimme Hunde oder andere Gefahren . . .

g1c19p005

In these quiet and safe surroundings her nerves got better. She took long walks in the neighbourhood of the town, along the fjord and into the great

Note:

forests which were now glorious in their autumn colours.

a1c19p006

tsc19p006

In that quiet, safe environment Lili 's nerves calmed. She went on long walks into the surroundings of the city , along the fjord and into the big forests that now shone in colorful fall splendor.

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d1c23p006

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One day her brother went with her into the town, to show her the old parental house in which Andreas had been born and nurtured and their parents had lived until their death.

a1c19p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus

zu seigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, wo die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

tsc19p008

One day the brother went with her to town, to show her the

old parental home , in which Andreas had been born and had grown up, where the parents had lived until their death.

ts-trc19p008

En Dag gik Broderen med hende ind til Byen for at vise hende

det gamle Hus, hvor hendes Forældre havde boet lige til deres Død, og hvor han og Andreas var vokset op.

d1c23p008

One day her brother went with her to the town to show her

the old house where her parents had lived until their death and where he and Andreas had grown up.

d1-trc23p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus zu zeigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, und die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

g1c19p008

a1c19p009

tsc19p009

ts-trc19p009

Lili stod foran det gamle Patricierhus. Hun kendte det nok igen, men det var som noget fjernt og taaget, noget, hun en Gang havde set i Drømme.

d1c23p009

d1c23p010

Ofte voldte disse Spørgsmaal hende Smerte, Broderen følte det, og han spurgte ikke mere.

d1c23p011

Lili stood in front of the old patrician house. She recognised the house, but it was like something distant and dim, something she had once seen in dreams.

d1-trc23p009

d1-trc23p010

Often these questions caused her pain, her brother felt it, and he did not ask any more.

d1-trc23p011

diese Fragen bitter und der Bruder fühlte es und fragte nicht mehr.

g1c19p009

It was not through the past that she felt herself linked to her brother and sister-in-law : but both

were so kind and considerate that she gradually felt quite at home with them.

a1c19p010

tsc19p010

ts-trc19p010

d1c23p012

d1-trc23p012

g1c19p010

" Lili ," her brother said one day, "you have now been here almost a whole month and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave in the old churchyard ."

a1c19p011

" Lili ", sagte der Bruder eines Tages zu ihr, "jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und du hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht."

tsc19p011

" Lili ," the brother said to her one day, "now you have been here for a whole month, and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave on the old church yard ."

ts-trc19p011

En Dag sagde hendes Broder til hende:

d1c23p013

— Lili , nu har Du været her en hel Maaned, og endnu har Du ikke været paa Kirkegaarden for at se til Fa'r s og Mo'r s Grav.

d1c23p014

One day her brother said to her:

d1-trc23p013

" Lili , now you have been here for a whole month and still you have not been to the cemetery to see Father 's and Mother 's grave."

d1-trc23p014

» Lili «, sagte der Bruder eines Tages, »jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht.«

g1c19p011

"I should so much like to go there," she answered, "but you must show me where they are buried." Then she burst into tears.

a1c19p012

"Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen," antwortete Lili , "aber du musst mir z eigen, wo sie liegen." Und plötzlich musste sie bitterlich weinen.

tsc19p012

"I would really like to go there," replied Lili , "but you have to show me where they lie." And suddenly she had to cry bitterly.

ts-trc19p012

— Du har Ret, jeg vil gerne derhen.

d1c23p015

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

"You're right, I'd like to go there."

d1-trc23p015

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

»Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen«, antwortete sie, »aber du mußt mir zeigen, wo sie liegen.« Dann mußte sie bitterlich weinen.

g1c19p012

Her brother regarded her with surprise. He took her hands and drew her to him protectively.

a1c19p013

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Dann nahm er sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

tsc19p013

Her brother looked at her puzzled. Then he took his arms and pressed her against himself protectively.

ts-trc19p013

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Er nahm sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

g1c19p013

Lili divined what he was thinking.

a1c19p014

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

tsc19p014

Lili felt, what he was thinking.

ts-trc19p014

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

g1c19p014

a1c19p015

Köstliches regen. Das ist wohl das Glück. In meinen Träumen ist dieses Glück ganz vollkommen."

tsc19p015

delightful

Regularized form: Köstliches

was stirring within me. In my dreams that happiness is completely perfect."

ts-trc19p015

det, som om noget fint og ædelt rører sig i mig. Det er vel Lykke. Og i mine Drømme er jeg altid fuldkommen lykkelig.

d1c23p017

something fine and noble within me. I suppose it is happiness. And in my dreams I am always perfectly happy."

d1-trc23p017

g1c19p015

Her brother gazed at her with inquiring eyes. Lili patted his shoulder. "Dear brother , perhaps you cannot understand me when I talk like that; but that does not matter,

Regularized form: so

long as you are kind to me. Often I do not understand it myself; I do not understand my own life; I can never get over my astonishment."

a1c19p016

Mit fragenden Augen sah der Bruder sie an, als wolle er etwas sagen.

tsc19p016

tsc19p017

With questioning eyes her brother looked at her, as if he wanted to say something.

ts-trc19p016

ts-trc19p017

Broderen saa spørgende paa hende, som om han vilde sige noget.

d1c23p018

Men Lili klappede ham paa Armen og tilføjede:

d1c23p019

d1c23p020

Her brother looked at her inquiringly, as if he were going to say something.

d1-trc23p018

But Lili patted him on the arm and added:

d1-trc23p019

d1-trc23p020

g1c19p016

Andreas Sparre was dead.

a1c19p017

Andreas Sparre war tot.

tsc19p018

Andreas Sparre was dead.

ts-trc19p018

Andreas Sparre var død.

d1c23p021

Andreas Sparre was dead.

d1-trc23p021

Andreas Sparre war tot.

g1c19p017

Lili was again living in her Copenhagen attic.

a1c19p018

Sie wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

tsc19p019

She was living again in her small attic room in Copenhagen .

ts-trc19p019

Lili var vendt tilbage til sine to smaa Gavlværelser i København .

d1c23p022

Lili had returned to her two little gabled rooms in Copenhagen .

d1-trc23p022

Lili wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

g1c19p018

a1c19p019

tsc19p020

Bei Menschen würde man selbstverständlich ähnliche Vorgänge beobachten können.

tsc19p021

ts-trc19p020

Of course it would be possible to observe similar processes in humans.

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d1c23p024

d1-trc23p024

g1c19p020

She confided all this to her diary:

a1c19p021

Und sie gestand sich dies alles in ihr Tagebuch ein:

tsc19p023

And she admitted as much to herself in her diary:

ts-trc19p023

Hun skrev om det i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p025

She wrote about it in her diary:

d1-trc23p025

Sie gestand sich das alles in ihrem Tagebuch ein:

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a1c19d01p01

tsc19d01p01

ts-trc19d01p01

d1c23d01p01

d1-trc23d01p01

g1c19d01p01

At that time she wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz :

a1c19p022

Damals schrieb sie auch einen Brief an Werner Kreutz , worin sie alles, was in ihr vorging, also ausdrückte:

tsc19p024

Back then she also wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz , in which she expressed everything going on within her:

ts-trc19p024

Omtrent paa samme Tid skrev hun et Brev til Professor Werner Kreutz , i hvilket hun prøvede paa at udtrykke, hvad der foregik i hende.

d1c23p026

About the same time she wrote a letter to Professor Werner Kreutz in which she tried to express what went on in her.

d1-trc23p026

g1c19p022

a1c19l01p01

tsc19l01p01

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❡

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Ich war jetzt ein paar Wochen in seinem Geburtsort

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

tsc19l01p03

I have now spent a few weeks in my birthplace

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

ts-trc19l01p03

d1c23l01p03

d1c23l01p04

Note: The American edition uses, "his parents."

lived. I am as reborn. I was born at Frauenklinik and my birthday is that day in April when they operated on me. My disposition is also like April weather. I can cry and laugh at the same time ......

d1-trc23l01p03

And each time I feel how this new life and this new youth stir in my mind as if I were mother and child at the same time, then all my thoughts turn to you in infinite gratitude."

d1-trc23l01p04

g1c19l01p03

A few days later Lili filled many pages in her diary:

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Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

tsc19p025

A few days later Lili filled many pages of her diary again:

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Nogle Dage senere fyldte Lili igen flere Sider i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p027

Some days later, Lili again filled several pages in her diary:

d1-trc23p027

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

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a1c19d02p01

tsc19d02p01

opposite. That one really is the age that is displayed on official documents, whether one feels young or old. Yesterday I talked to a friend, who is a lawyer , about this question and I said to him:

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d1c23d02p01

I think the opposite. Whether you feel young or old you have the age that is entered in your papers. Yesterday I talked to a friend who is a lawyer about this question and I said to him:

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g1c19d02p01

"'Don't forget: every time one books a room in an hotel, fills up a census paper, applies for a situation, or marries, one must always answer questions about age.'

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Andreas would regard me as crazy if I should maintain that I was one and the same person as Andreas . At least I should be regarded as an improbable phenomenon and ridiculed accordingly.

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Und was antwortete der Jurist ?

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And what did the lawyer reply?

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I should not be so immodest. I had to take over Andreas ' age as inheritance just as if I were about to inherit his estate with all the rights. What I energetically denied.

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Og hvad svarede Juristen?

d1c23d02p03

At jeg ikke maatte være saa fordringsfuld. Jeg maatte overtage Andreas ' Alder, ligesom jeg med fuld Ret havde overtaget den øvrige Arv efter ham. Men det bestred jeg heftigt.

d1c23d02p04

d1c23d02p05

And what did the lawyer answer?

d1-trc23d02p03

That I should not be so demanding. I must take over Andreas ' age, just as I had quite rightly taken over the rest of the inheritance from him. But I denied that vehemently.

d1-trc23d02p04

d1-trc23d02p05

Und was antwortete er?

g1c19d02p03

g1c19d02p04

Regularized form: "'

No, if I should really paint I would have to build up my career right from the start, as otherwise I should make myself a laughing-stock.

a1c19d02p04

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

tsc19d02p06

No, if I really were to paint one day, I would have to build my entire career anew. Otherwise I would just be the butt of the people's jokes.

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Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

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Regularized form: "'

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Regularized form: "'

I know very well that I am only a stupid female and a mere nobody.

a1c19d02p06

Ich weiss sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein grosses Nichts.

tsc19d02p08

I know very well, I am just a stupid female person and also a big nobody.

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d1c23d02p06

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Ich weiß sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein großes Nichts.

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Regularized form: "'

storms. I feel like a young ingrafted tree which can be uprooted with the first gust of wind.

a1c19d02p07

Und ausserdem weisst du ja, wenn man erbt, ~~dass~~ heisst es immer, dass man mit allen Aktiven und Passiven die Erbschaft antritt, und

Regularized form: m

tsc19d02p09

And also you know that when one inherits something it always means that one assumes all the assets and liabilities, and

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Desuden hedder det jo ogsaa, at naar man arver, kan man nægte at vedgaa Arv og Gæld. Jeg har intet Øjeblik vedgaaet Arven efter Andreas .

d1c23d02p07

Jeg har ikke vedgaaet noget som helst og allermindst hans Fødselsdag, der for mig er ensbetydende med hans Gæld. Jeg vil ikke

blive ved med at slæbe om paa Andreas ' Alder som paa en Byrde, der betyder en Trusel for hele min Fremtid.

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d1c23d02p09

"Besides it is said that when you inherit you can refuse to accept the inheritance and the debt. I have at no time accepted Andreas ' inheritance.

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"I have not accepted anything and least of all his birthday which to me is synonymous with his debt. I will not

keep on carrying Andreas ' age around as a burden that means a threat to my whole future.

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Regularized form: "'

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❡

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Regularized form: "'

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❡

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Regularized form: "'

Regularized form: '

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seinen Namen tragen. Deshalb meine ich, dass es unrichtig war, seinen Namen im Kirchenbuch einfach auszustreichen und dafür meinen Namen hinzusetzen."

tsc19d02p12

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

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"And what did the lawyer answer?

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Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

tsc19d02p13

❡

Hvad svarede saa den kloge Jurist til dette?

d1c23d02p12

What did the smart lawyer answer to this?

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Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

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"In that case I must regard the name of Andreas , to some extent, as my pseudonym.

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Dann müsste ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermassen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

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❡

At jeg maatte betragte Andreas ' Navn, som om det paa en vis Maade var mit Pseudonym.

d1c23d02p13

That I had to consider Andreas ' name as if it were in some way a pseudonym.

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Dann müßte ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermaßen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

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"'No,' I retorted, 'that would be wrong,

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❡

d1c23d02p14

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" My friend then inquired whether I had never felt any desire to paint like Andreas , whose art had been the most characteristic thing about him.

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Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Zentrale in ihm gewesen sei.

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❡

Saa spurgte min Ven mig, om jeg aldrig havde følt Trang til at male ligesom Andreas , netop fordi hans Kunst havde været det egentlige og det centrale i ham.

d1c23d02p15

Then my friend asked me if I had never felt the urge to paint like Andreas exactly because his art had been essential and central to him.

d1-trc23d02p15

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das

Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Bestimmende in ihm gewesen sei.

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❡

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"We were strolling through the grounds of Bernstorff Castle . It was a dreary December day, and my friend asked me whether I had lost all that feeling for Nature which inspired Andreas .

a1c19d02p16

Wir gingen durch den Schlosspark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

tsc19d02p18

❡

Vi gik senere gennem Bernstorffs Slotspark under en tung og lav Decemberhimmel. Min Ven spurgte mig, om jeg havde mistet den Naturfølelse, der havde været saa udpræget hos Andreas .

d1c23d02p17

We later walked through the park of Bernstorff Palace under a heavy and low December sky. My friend asked me if I had lost the appreciation of nature that had been so marked in Andreas .

d1-trc23d02p17

Wir gingen durch den Schloßpark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

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❡

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Regularized form: "'

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❡

d1c23d02p20

Note: The term "Nansen passport" is missing in the American edition.

where my biological age should be stated."

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" My friend parted from me, shaking his head. And this head-shaking was what I encountered from most people.

Regularized form: "

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Kopfschüttelnd verliess mich schliesslich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen."

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❡

Rystende paa Hovedet forlod min Ven mig, og jeg ved, at jeg hos de fleste andre Mennesker vil møde den samme Hovedrysten.

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Shaking his head my friend left me and I know I will meet the same shaking of the head with most other people."

d1-trc23d02p21

Kopfschüttelnd verließ mich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen.«

g1c19d02p20

TS-TR: Lili Elbe Buch (English Translation of German Transcript)

Chapter 19

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law inhabited a villa facing a little fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious glances.

a1c19p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier weilen.

tsc19p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in a villa outside the small fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious gazes.

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Lili s Broder og Svigerinde boede i Nærheden af en af Jylland smaa Fjordbyer . Her kunde hun opholde sig uden at være udsat for nysgerrige Blikke.

d1c23p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in the vicinity of one of Jutland 's small fjord towns . Here she could stay without being exposed to prying eyes.

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Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier leben. –

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She was received most cordially, especially by her sister-in-law , a dear good creature who as a woman showed Lili not only sympathy, but profound understanding from the first moment.

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tsc19p002

She was received in the most heartfelt way, especially from her sister-in-law , a

kind-hearted person

Regularized form: Menschenkind

, that showed not just deepest compassion but also understanding for Lili as a woman.

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d1c23p002

She was received very kindly by both of them. Her sister-in-law was a good-hearted person who as a woman not only had the deepest compassion for her, but also showed her the deepest understanding.

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The brother did not find it easy the first few days to adjust himself to his new sister, but it was not long before he was quite at home with her and could regard Lili simply as a sister.

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The brother did not have an easy time getting used to the new sister. But it did not take long for him to find his way around her, and he saw nothing else but a sister in Lili .

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In the first days her brother did not find it easy to adjust to Lili but it did not last very long before he had gotten used to her and regarded her completely as his sister.

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Brother and sister-in-law vied with each other to give Lili a peaceful and happy time during her stay in Andreas ' home town .

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Und Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

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And brother and sister-in-law competed with one another to make Lili 's days in Andreas ' home peaceful and sheltered.

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De kappedes begge om at gøre Dagene her i Andreas ' Fødeby saa hyggelige og fredfyldte som muligt.

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They both competed to make the days here in Andreas ' native town as pleasant and peaceful as possible.

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Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

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d1-trc23p005

Note: 14 Elbe

zu Wort kommen: es gäbe auch in kleinen Städten böse Menschen und schlimme Hunde oder andere Gefahren . . .

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In these quiet and safe surroundings her nerves got better. She took long walks in the neighbourhood of the town, along the fjord and into the great

Note:

forests which were now glorious in their autumn colours.

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In that quiet, safe environment Lili 's nerves calmed. She went on long walks into the surroundings of the city , along the fjord and into the big forests that now shone in colorful fall splendor.

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One day her brother went with her into the town, to show her the old parental house in which Andreas had been born and nurtured and their parents had lived until their death.

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Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus

zu seigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, wo die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

tsc19p008

One day the brother went with her to town, to show her the

old parental home , in which Andreas had been born and had grown up, where the parents had lived until their death.

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En Dag gik Broderen med hende ind til Byen for at vise hende

det gamle Hus, hvor hendes Forældre havde boet lige til deres Død, og hvor han og Andreas var vokset op.

d1c23p008

One day her brother went with her to the town to show her

the old house where her parents had lived until their death and where he and Andreas had grown up.

d1-trc23p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus zu zeigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, und die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

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Lili stod foran det gamle Patricierhus. Hun kendte det nok igen, men det var som noget fjernt og taaget, noget, hun en Gang havde set i Drømme.

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Ofte voldte disse Spørgsmaal hende Smerte, Broderen følte det, og han spurgte ikke mere.

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Lili stood in front of the old patrician house. She recognised the house, but it was like something distant and dim, something she had once seen in dreams.

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d1-trc23p010

Often these questions caused her pain, her brother felt it, and he did not ask any more.

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diese Fragen bitter und der Bruder fühlte es und fragte nicht mehr.

g1c19p009

It was not through the past that she felt herself linked to her brother and sister-in-law : but both

were so kind and considerate that she gradually felt quite at home with them.

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tsc19p010

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d1c23p012

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g1c19p010

" Lili ," her brother said one day, "you have now been here almost a whole month and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave in the old churchyard ."

a1c19p011

" Lili ", sagte der Bruder eines Tages zu ihr, "jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und du hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht."

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" Lili ," the brother said to her one day, "now you have been here for a whole month, and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave on the old church yard ."

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En Dag sagde hendes Broder til hende:

d1c23p013

— Lili , nu har Du været her en hel Maaned, og endnu har Du ikke været paa Kirkegaarden for at se til Fa'r s og Mo'r s Grav.

d1c23p014

One day her brother said to her:

d1-trc23p013

" Lili , now you have been here for a whole month and still you have not been to the cemetery to see Father 's and Mother 's grave."

d1-trc23p014

» Lili «, sagte der Bruder eines Tages, »jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht.«

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"I should so much like to go there," she answered, "but you must show me where they are buried." Then she burst into tears.

a1c19p012

"Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen," antwortete Lili , "aber du musst mir z eigen, wo sie liegen." Und plötzlich musste sie bitterlich weinen.

tsc19p012

"I would really like to go there," replied Lili , "but you have to show me where they lie." And suddenly she had to cry bitterly.

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— Du har Ret, jeg vil gerne derhen.

d1c23p015

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

"You're right, I'd like to go there."

d1-trc23p015

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

»Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen«, antwortete sie, »aber du mußt mir zeigen, wo sie liegen.« Dann mußte sie bitterlich weinen.

g1c19p012

Her brother regarded her with surprise. He took her hands and drew her to him protectively.

a1c19p013

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Dann nahm er sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

tsc19p013

Her brother looked at her puzzled. Then he took his arms and pressed her against himself protectively.

ts-trc19p013

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Er nahm sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

g1c19p013

Lili divined what he was thinking.

a1c19p014

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

tsc19p014

Lili felt, what he was thinking.

ts-trc19p014

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

g1c19p014

a1c19p015

Köstliches regen. Das ist wohl das Glück. In meinen Träumen ist dieses Glück ganz vollkommen."

tsc19p015

delightful

Regularized form: Köstliches

was stirring within me. In my dreams that happiness is completely perfect."

ts-trc19p015

det, som om noget fint og ædelt rører sig i mig. Det er vel Lykke. Og i mine Drømme er jeg altid fuldkommen lykkelig.

d1c23p017

something fine and noble within me. I suppose it is happiness. And in my dreams I am always perfectly happy."

d1-trc23p017

g1c19p015

Her brother gazed at her with inquiring eyes. Lili patted his shoulder. "Dear brother , perhaps you cannot understand me when I talk like that; but that does not matter,

Regularized form: so

long as you are kind to me. Often I do not understand it myself; I do not understand my own life; I can never get over my astonishment."

a1c19p016

Mit fragenden Augen sah der Bruder sie an, als wolle er etwas sagen.

tsc19p016

tsc19p017

With questioning eyes her brother looked at her, as if he wanted to say something.

ts-trc19p016

ts-trc19p017

Broderen saa spørgende paa hende, som om han vilde sige noget.

d1c23p018

Men Lili klappede ham paa Armen og tilføjede:

d1c23p019

d1c23p020

Her brother looked at her inquiringly, as if he were going to say something.

d1-trc23p018

But Lili patted him on the arm and added:

d1-trc23p019

d1-trc23p020

g1c19p016

Andreas Sparre was dead.

a1c19p017

Andreas Sparre war tot.

tsc19p018

Andreas Sparre was dead.

ts-trc19p018

Andreas Sparre var død.

d1c23p021

Andreas Sparre was dead.

d1-trc23p021

Andreas Sparre war tot.

g1c19p017

Lili was again living in her Copenhagen attic.

a1c19p018

Sie wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

tsc19p019

She was living again in her small attic room in Copenhagen .

ts-trc19p019

Lili var vendt tilbage til sine to smaa Gavlværelser i København .

d1c23p022

Lili had returned to her two little gabled rooms in Copenhagen .

d1-trc23p022

Lili wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

g1c19p018

a1c19p019

tsc19p020

Bei Menschen würde man selbstverständlich ähnliche Vorgänge beobachten können.

tsc19p021

ts-trc19p020

Of course it would be possible to observe similar processes in humans.

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d1c23p024

d1-trc23p024

g1c19p020

She confided all this to her diary:

a1c19p021

Und sie gestand sich dies alles in ihr Tagebuch ein:

tsc19p023

And she admitted as much to herself in her diary:

ts-trc19p023

Hun skrev om det i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p025

She wrote about it in her diary:

d1-trc23p025

Sie gestand sich das alles in ihrem Tagebuch ein:

g1c19p021

a1c19d01p01

tsc19d01p01

ts-trc19d01p01

d1c23d01p01

d1-trc23d01p01

g1c19d01p01

At that time she wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz :

a1c19p022

Damals schrieb sie auch einen Brief an Werner Kreutz , worin sie alles, was in ihr vorging, also ausdrückte:

tsc19p024

Back then she also wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz , in which she expressed everything going on within her:

ts-trc19p024

Omtrent paa samme Tid skrev hun et Brev til Professor Werner Kreutz , i hvilket hun prøvede paa at udtrykke, hvad der foregik i hende.

d1c23p026

About the same time she wrote a letter to Professor Werner Kreutz in which she tried to express what went on in her.

d1-trc23p026

g1c19p022

a1c19l01p01

tsc19l01p01

ts-trc19l01p01

d1c23l01p01

d1-trc23l01p01

❡

a1c19l01p02

tsc19l01p02

ts-trc19l01p02

d1c23l01p02

d1-trc23l01p02

g1c19l01p02

a1c19l01p03

Ich war jetzt ein paar Wochen in seinem Geburtsort

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

tsc19l01p03

I have now spent a few weeks in my birthplace

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

ts-trc19l01p03

d1c23l01p03

d1c23l01p04

Note: The American edition uses, "his parents."

lived. I am as reborn. I was born at Frauenklinik and my birthday is that day in April when they operated on me. My disposition is also like April weather. I can cry and laugh at the same time ......

d1-trc23l01p03

And each time I feel how this new life and this new youth stir in my mind as if I were mother and child at the same time, then all my thoughts turn to you in infinite gratitude."

d1-trc23l01p04

g1c19l01p03

A few days later Lili filled many pages in her diary:

a1c19p023

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

tsc19p025

A few days later Lili filled many pages of her diary again:

ts-trc19p025

Nogle Dage senere fyldte Lili igen flere Sider i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p027

Some days later, Lili again filled several pages in her diary:

d1-trc23p027

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

g1c19p023

a1c19d02p01

tsc19d02p01

opposite. That one really is the age that is displayed on official documents, whether one feels young or old. Yesterday I talked to a friend, who is a lawyer , about this question and I said to him:

ts-trc19d02p01

d1c23d02p01

I think the opposite. Whether you feel young or old you have the age that is entered in your papers. Yesterday I talked to a friend who is a lawyer about this question and I said to him:

d1-trc23d02p01

g1c19d02p01

"'Don't forget: every time one books a room in an hotel, fills up a census paper, applies for a situation, or marries, one must always answer questions about age.'

a1c19d02p02

tsc19d02p02

ts-trc19d02p02

d1c23d02p02

d1-trc23d02p02

g1c19d02p02

Andreas would regard me as crazy if I should maintain that I was one and the same person as Andreas . At least I should be regarded as an improbable phenomenon and ridiculed accordingly.

a1c19d02p03

Und was antwortete der Jurist ?

tsc19d02p03

tsc19d02p04

And what did the lawyer reply?

ts-trc19d02p03

I should not be so immodest. I had to take over Andreas ' age as inheritance just as if I were about to inherit his estate with all the rights. What I energetically denied.

ts-trc19d02p04

Og hvad svarede Juristen?

d1c23d02p03

At jeg ikke maatte være saa fordringsfuld. Jeg maatte overtage Andreas ' Alder, ligesom jeg med fuld Ret havde overtaget den øvrige Arv efter ham. Men det bestred jeg heftigt.

d1c23d02p04

d1c23d02p05

And what did the lawyer answer?

d1-trc23d02p03

That I should not be so demanding. I must take over Andreas ' age, just as I had quite rightly taken over the rest of the inheritance from him. But I denied that vehemently.

d1-trc23d02p04

d1-trc23d02p05

Und was antwortete er?

g1c19d02p03

g1c19d02p04

Regularized form: "'

No, if I should really paint I would have to build up my career right from the start, as otherwise I should make myself a laughing-stock.

a1c19d02p04

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

tsc19d02p06

No, if I really were to paint one day, I would have to build my entire career anew. Otherwise I would just be the butt of the people's jokes.

ts-trc19d02p06

d1c23d02p05

d1-trc23d02p05

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

g1c19d02p05

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p05

tsc19d02p07

ts-trc19d02p07

d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

g1c19d02p06

Regularized form: "'

I know very well that I am only a stupid female and a mere nobody.

a1c19d02p06

Ich weiss sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein grosses Nichts.

tsc19d02p08

I know very well, I am just a stupid female person and also a big nobody.

ts-trc19d02p08

d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

Ich weiß sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein großes Nichts.

g1c19d02p07

Regularized form: "'

storms. I feel like a young ingrafted tree which can be uprooted with the first gust of wind.

a1c19d02p07

Und ausserdem weisst du ja, wenn man erbt, ~~dass~~ heisst es immer, dass man mit allen Aktiven und Passiven die Erbschaft antritt, und

Regularized form: m

tsc19d02p09

And also you know that when one inherits something it always means that one assumes all the assets and liabilities, and

ts-trc19d02p09

Desuden hedder det jo ogsaa, at naar man arver, kan man nægte at vedgaa Arv og Gæld. Jeg har intet Øjeblik vedgaaet Arven efter Andreas .

d1c23d02p07

Jeg har ikke vedgaaet noget som helst og allermindst hans Fødselsdag, der for mig er ensbetydende med hans Gæld. Jeg vil ikke

blive ved med at slæbe om paa Andreas ' Alder som paa en Byrde, der betyder en Trusel for hele min Fremtid.

d1c23d02p08

d1c23d02p09

"Besides it is said that when you inherit you can refuse to accept the inheritance and the debt. I have at no time accepted Andreas ' inheritance.

d1-trc23d02p07

"I have not accepted anything and least of all his birthday which to me is synonymous with his debt. I will not

keep on carrying Andreas ' age around as a burden that means a threat to my whole future.

d1-trc23d02p08

d1-trc23d02p09

g1c19d02p08

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p08

tsc19d02p10

❡

d1c23d02p10

d1-trc23d02p10

g1c19d02p09

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p09

tsc19d02p11

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

g1c19d02p10

Regularized form: "'

Regularized form: '

a1c19d02p10

seinen Namen tragen. Deshalb meine ich, dass es unrichtig war, seinen Namen im Kirchenbuch einfach auszustreichen und dafür meinen Namen hinzusetzen."

tsc19d02p12

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

g1c19d02p11

"And what did the lawyer answer?

a1c19d02p11

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

tsc19d02p13

❡

Hvad svarede saa den kloge Jurist til dette?

d1c23d02p12

What did the smart lawyer answer to this?

d1-trc23d02p12

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

g1c19d02p12

"In that case I must regard the name of Andreas , to some extent, as my pseudonym.

a1c19d02p12

Dann müsste ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermassen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

tsc19d02p14

❡

At jeg maatte betragte Andreas ' Navn, som om det paa en vis Maade var mit Pseudonym.

d1c23d02p13

That I had to consider Andreas ' name as if it were in some way a pseudonym.

d1-trc23d02p13

Dann müßte ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermaßen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

g1c19d02p13

"'No,' I retorted, 'that would be wrong,

a1c19d02p13

tsc19d02p15

❡

d1c23d02p14

d1-trc23d02p14

g1c19d02p14

" My friend then inquired whether I had never felt any desire to paint like Andreas , whose art had been the most characteristic thing about him.

a1c19d02p14

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Zentrale in ihm gewesen sei.

tsc19d02p16

❡

Saa spurgte min Ven mig, om jeg aldrig havde følt Trang til at male ligesom Andreas , netop fordi hans Kunst havde været det egentlige og det centrale i ham.

d1c23d02p15

Then my friend asked me if I had never felt the urge to paint like Andreas exactly because his art had been essential and central to him.

d1-trc23d02p15

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das

Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Bestimmende in ihm gewesen sei.

g1c19d02p15

a1c19d02p15

tsc19d02p17

❡

d1c23d02p16

d1-trc23d02p16

g1c19d02p16

"We were strolling through the grounds of Bernstorff Castle . It was a dreary December day, and my friend asked me whether I had lost all that feeling for Nature which inspired Andreas .

a1c19d02p16

Wir gingen durch den Schlosspark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

tsc19d02p18

❡

Vi gik senere gennem Bernstorffs Slotspark under en tung og lav Decemberhimmel. Min Ven spurgte mig, om jeg havde mistet den Naturfølelse, der havde været saa udpræget hos Andreas .

d1c23d02p17

We later walked through the park of Bernstorff Palace under a heavy and low December sky. My friend asked me if I had lost the appreciation of nature that had been so marked in Andreas .

d1-trc23d02p17

Wir gingen durch den Schloßpark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

g1c19d02p17

a1c19d02p17

tsc19d02p19

❡

d1c23d02p18

d1c23d02p19

d1-trc23d02p18

d1-trc23d02p19

g1c19d02p18

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p18

tsc19d02p20

❡

d1c23d02p20

Note: The term "Nansen passport" is missing in the American edition.

where my biological age should be stated."

d1-trc23d02p20

g1c19d02p19

" My friend parted from me, shaking his head. And this head-shaking was what I encountered from most people.

Regularized form: "

a1c19d02p19

Kopfschüttelnd verliess mich schliesslich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen."

tsc19d02p21

❡

Rystende paa Hovedet forlod min Ven mig, og jeg ved, at jeg hos de fleste andre Mennesker vil møde den samme Hovedrysten.

d1c23d02p21

Shaking his head my friend left me and I know I will meet the same shaking of the head with most other people."

d1-trc23d02p21

Kopfschüttelnd verließ mich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen.«

g1c19d02p20

D1: Fra Mand til Kvinde (Danish Edition)

Chapter 23

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law inhabited a villa facing a little fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious glances.

a1c19p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier weilen.

tsc19p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in a villa outside the small fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious gazes.

ts-trc19p001

Lili s Broder og Svigerinde boede i Nærheden af en af Jylland smaa Fjordbyer . Her kunde hun opholde sig uden at være udsat for nysgerrige Blikke.

d1c23p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in the vicinity of one of Jutland 's small fjord towns . Here she could stay without being exposed to prying eyes.

d1-trc23p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier leben. –

g1c19p001

She was received most cordially, especially by her sister-in-law , a dear good creature who as a woman showed Lili not only sympathy, but profound understanding from the first moment.

a1c19p002

tsc19p002

She was received in the most heartfelt way, especially from her sister-in-law , a

kind-hearted person

Regularized form: Menschenkind

, that showed not just deepest compassion but also understanding for Lili as a woman.

ts-trc19p002

d1c23p002

She was received very kindly by both of them. Her sister-in-law was a good-hearted person who as a woman not only had the deepest compassion for her, but also showed her the deepest understanding.

d1-trc23p002

g1c19p002

The brother did not find it easy the first few days to adjust himself to his new sister, but it was not long before he was quite at home with her and could regard Lili simply as a sister.

a1c19p003

tsc19p003

The brother did not have an easy time getting used to the new sister. But it did not take long for him to find his way around her, and he saw nothing else but a sister in Lili .

ts-trc19p003

d1c23p003

In the first days her brother did not find it easy to adjust to Lili but it did not last very long before he had gotten used to her and regarded her completely as his sister.

d1-trc23p003

g1c19p003

Brother and sister-in-law vied with each other to give Lili a peaceful and happy time during her stay in Andreas ' home town .

a1c19p004

Und Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

tsc19p004

And brother and sister-in-law competed with one another to make Lili 's days in Andreas ' home peaceful and sheltered.

ts-trc19p004

De kappedes begge om at gøre Dagene her i Andreas ' Fødeby saa hyggelige og fredfyldte som muligt.

d1c23p004

They both competed to make the days here in Andreas ' native town as pleasant and peaceful as possible.

d1-trc23p004

Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

g1c19p004

a1c19p005

tsc19p005

ts-trc19p005

d1c23p005

d1-trc23p005

Note: 14 Elbe

zu Wort kommen: es gäbe auch in kleinen Städten böse Menschen und schlimme Hunde oder andere Gefahren . . .

g1c19p005

In these quiet and safe surroundings her nerves got better. She took long walks in the neighbourhood of the town, along the fjord and into the great

Note:

forests which were now glorious in their autumn colours.

a1c19p006

tsc19p006

In that quiet, safe environment Lili 's nerves calmed. She went on long walks into the surroundings of the city , along the fjord and into the big forests that now shone in colorful fall splendor.

ts-trc19p006

d1c23p006

d1-trc23p006

g1c19p006

a1c19p007

tsc19p007

ts-trc19p007

d1c23p007

d1-trc23p007

g1c19p007

One day her brother went with her into the town, to show her the old parental house in which Andreas had been born and nurtured and their parents had lived until their death.

a1c19p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus

zu seigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, wo die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

tsc19p008

One day the brother went with her to town, to show her the

old parental home , in which Andreas had been born and had grown up, where the parents had lived until their death.

ts-trc19p008

En Dag gik Broderen med hende ind til Byen for at vise hende

det gamle Hus, hvor hendes Forældre havde boet lige til deres Død, og hvor han og Andreas var vokset op.

d1c23p008

One day her brother went with her to the town to show her

the old house where her parents had lived until their death and where he and Andreas had grown up.

d1-trc23p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus zu zeigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, und die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

g1c19p008

a1c19p009

tsc19p009

ts-trc19p009

Lili stod foran det gamle Patricierhus. Hun kendte det nok igen, men det var som noget fjernt og taaget, noget, hun en Gang havde set i Drømme.

d1c23p009

d1c23p010

Ofte voldte disse Spørgsmaal hende Smerte, Broderen følte det, og han spurgte ikke mere.

d1c23p011

Lili stood in front of the old patrician house. She recognised the house, but it was like something distant and dim, something she had once seen in dreams.

d1-trc23p009

d1-trc23p010

Often these questions caused her pain, her brother felt it, and he did not ask any more.

d1-trc23p011

diese Fragen bitter und der Bruder fühlte es und fragte nicht mehr.

g1c19p009

It was not through the past that she felt herself linked to her brother and sister-in-law : but both

were so kind and considerate that she gradually felt quite at home with them.

a1c19p010

tsc19p010

ts-trc19p010

d1c23p012

d1-trc23p012

g1c19p010

" Lili ," her brother said one day, "you have now been here almost a whole month and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave in the old churchyard ."

a1c19p011

" Lili ", sagte der Bruder eines Tages zu ihr, "jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und du hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht."

tsc19p011

" Lili ," the brother said to her one day, "now you have been here for a whole month, and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave on the old church yard ."

ts-trc19p011

En Dag sagde hendes Broder til hende:

d1c23p013

— Lili , nu har Du været her en hel Maaned, og endnu har Du ikke været paa Kirkegaarden for at se til Fa'r s og Mo'r s Grav.

d1c23p014

One day her brother said to her:

d1-trc23p013

" Lili , now you have been here for a whole month and still you have not been to the cemetery to see Father 's and Mother 's grave."

d1-trc23p014

» Lili «, sagte der Bruder eines Tages, »jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht.«

g1c19p011

"I should so much like to go there," she answered, "but you must show me where they are buried." Then she burst into tears.

a1c19p012

"Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen," antwortete Lili , "aber du musst mir z eigen, wo sie liegen." Und plötzlich musste sie bitterlich weinen.

tsc19p012

"I would really like to go there," replied Lili , "but you have to show me where they lie." And suddenly she had to cry bitterly.

ts-trc19p012

— Du har Ret, jeg vil gerne derhen.

d1c23p015

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

"You're right, I'd like to go there."

d1-trc23p015

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

»Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen«, antwortete sie, »aber du mußt mir zeigen, wo sie liegen.« Dann mußte sie bitterlich weinen.

g1c19p012

Her brother regarded her with surprise. He took her hands and drew her to him protectively.

a1c19p013

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Dann nahm er sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

tsc19p013

Her brother looked at her puzzled. Then he took his arms and pressed her against himself protectively.

ts-trc19p013

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Er nahm sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

g1c19p013

Lili divined what he was thinking.

a1c19p014

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

tsc19p014

Lili felt, what he was thinking.

ts-trc19p014

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

g1c19p014

a1c19p015

Köstliches regen. Das ist wohl das Glück. In meinen Träumen ist dieses Glück ganz vollkommen."

tsc19p015

delightful

Regularized form: Köstliches

was stirring within me. In my dreams that happiness is completely perfect."

ts-trc19p015

det, som om noget fint og ædelt rører sig i mig. Det er vel Lykke. Og i mine Drømme er jeg altid fuldkommen lykkelig.

d1c23p017

something fine and noble within me. I suppose it is happiness. And in my dreams I am always perfectly happy."

d1-trc23p017

g1c19p015

Her brother gazed at her with inquiring eyes. Lili patted his shoulder. "Dear brother , perhaps you cannot understand me when I talk like that; but that does not matter,

Regularized form: so

long as you are kind to me. Often I do not understand it myself; I do not understand my own life; I can never get over my astonishment."

a1c19p016

Mit fragenden Augen sah der Bruder sie an, als wolle er etwas sagen.

tsc19p016

tsc19p017

With questioning eyes her brother looked at her, as if he wanted to say something.

ts-trc19p016

ts-trc19p017

Broderen saa spørgende paa hende, som om han vilde sige noget.

d1c23p018

Men Lili klappede ham paa Armen og tilføjede:

d1c23p019

d1c23p020

Her brother looked at her inquiringly, as if he were going to say something.

d1-trc23p018

But Lili patted him on the arm and added:

d1-trc23p019

d1-trc23p020

g1c19p016

Andreas Sparre was dead.

a1c19p017

Andreas Sparre war tot.

tsc19p018

Andreas Sparre was dead.

ts-trc19p018

Andreas Sparre var død.

d1c23p021

Andreas Sparre was dead.

d1-trc23p021

Andreas Sparre war tot.

g1c19p017

Lili was again living in her Copenhagen attic.

a1c19p018

Sie wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

tsc19p019

She was living again in her small attic room in Copenhagen .

ts-trc19p019

Lili var vendt tilbage til sine to smaa Gavlværelser i København .

d1c23p022

Lili had returned to her two little gabled rooms in Copenhagen .

d1-trc23p022

Lili wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

g1c19p018

a1c19p019

tsc19p020

Bei Menschen würde man selbstverständlich ähnliche Vorgänge beobachten können.

tsc19p021

ts-trc19p020

Of course it would be possible to observe similar processes in humans.

ts-trc19p021

d1c23p023

d1-trc23p023

g1c19p019

a1c19p020

tsc19p022

ts-trc19p022

d1c23p024

d1-trc23p024

g1c19p020

She confided all this to her diary:

a1c19p021

Und sie gestand sich dies alles in ihr Tagebuch ein:

tsc19p023

And she admitted as much to herself in her diary:

ts-trc19p023

Hun skrev om det i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p025

She wrote about it in her diary:

d1-trc23p025

Sie gestand sich das alles in ihrem Tagebuch ein:

g1c19p021

a1c19d01p01

tsc19d01p01

ts-trc19d01p01

d1c23d01p01

d1-trc23d01p01

g1c19d01p01

At that time she wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz :

a1c19p022

Damals schrieb sie auch einen Brief an Werner Kreutz , worin sie alles, was in ihr vorging, also ausdrückte:

tsc19p024

Back then she also wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz , in which she expressed everything going on within her:

ts-trc19p024

Omtrent paa samme Tid skrev hun et Brev til Professor Werner Kreutz , i hvilket hun prøvede paa at udtrykke, hvad der foregik i hende.

d1c23p026

About the same time she wrote a letter to Professor Werner Kreutz in which she tried to express what went on in her.

d1-trc23p026

g1c19p022

a1c19l01p01

tsc19l01p01

ts-trc19l01p01

d1c23l01p01

d1-trc23l01p01

❡

a1c19l01p02

tsc19l01p02

ts-trc19l01p02

d1c23l01p02

d1-trc23l01p02

g1c19l01p02

a1c19l01p03

Ich war jetzt ein paar Wochen in seinem Geburtsort

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

tsc19l01p03

I have now spent a few weeks in my birthplace

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

ts-trc19l01p03

d1c23l01p03

d1c23l01p04

Note: The American edition uses, "his parents."

lived. I am as reborn. I was born at Frauenklinik and my birthday is that day in April when they operated on me. My disposition is also like April weather. I can cry and laugh at the same time ......

d1-trc23l01p03

And each time I feel how this new life and this new youth stir in my mind as if I were mother and child at the same time, then all my thoughts turn to you in infinite gratitude."

d1-trc23l01p04

g1c19l01p03

A few days later Lili filled many pages in her diary:

a1c19p023

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

tsc19p025

A few days later Lili filled many pages of her diary again:

ts-trc19p025

Nogle Dage senere fyldte Lili igen flere Sider i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p027

Some days later, Lili again filled several pages in her diary:

d1-trc23p027

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

g1c19p023

a1c19d02p01

tsc19d02p01

opposite. That one really is the age that is displayed on official documents, whether one feels young or old. Yesterday I talked to a friend, who is a lawyer , about this question and I said to him:

ts-trc19d02p01

d1c23d02p01

I think the opposite. Whether you feel young or old you have the age that is entered in your papers. Yesterday I talked to a friend who is a lawyer about this question and I said to him:

d1-trc23d02p01

g1c19d02p01

"'Don't forget: every time one books a room in an hotel, fills up a census paper, applies for a situation, or marries, one must always answer questions about age.'

a1c19d02p02

tsc19d02p02

ts-trc19d02p02

d1c23d02p02

d1-trc23d02p02

g1c19d02p02

Andreas would regard me as crazy if I should maintain that I was one and the same person as Andreas . At least I should be regarded as an improbable phenomenon and ridiculed accordingly.

a1c19d02p03

Und was antwortete der Jurist ?

tsc19d02p03

tsc19d02p04

And what did the lawyer reply?

ts-trc19d02p03

I should not be so immodest. I had to take over Andreas ' age as inheritance just as if I were about to inherit his estate with all the rights. What I energetically denied.

ts-trc19d02p04

Og hvad svarede Juristen?

d1c23d02p03

At jeg ikke maatte være saa fordringsfuld. Jeg maatte overtage Andreas ' Alder, ligesom jeg med fuld Ret havde overtaget den øvrige Arv efter ham. Men det bestred jeg heftigt.

d1c23d02p04

d1c23d02p05

And what did the lawyer answer?

d1-trc23d02p03

That I should not be so demanding. I must take over Andreas ' age, just as I had quite rightly taken over the rest of the inheritance from him. But I denied that vehemently.

d1-trc23d02p04

d1-trc23d02p05

Und was antwortete er?

g1c19d02p03

g1c19d02p04

Regularized form: "'

No, if I should really paint I would have to build up my career right from the start, as otherwise I should make myself a laughing-stock.

a1c19d02p04

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

tsc19d02p06

No, if I really were to paint one day, I would have to build my entire career anew. Otherwise I would just be the butt of the people's jokes.

ts-trc19d02p06

d1c23d02p05

d1-trc23d02p05

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

g1c19d02p05

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p05

tsc19d02p07

ts-trc19d02p07

d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

g1c19d02p06

Regularized form: "'

I know very well that I am only a stupid female and a mere nobody.

a1c19d02p06

Ich weiss sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein grosses Nichts.

tsc19d02p08

I know very well, I am just a stupid female person and also a big nobody.

ts-trc19d02p08

d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

Ich weiß sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein großes Nichts.

g1c19d02p07

Regularized form: "'

storms. I feel like a young ingrafted tree which can be uprooted with the first gust of wind.

a1c19d02p07

Und ausserdem weisst du ja, wenn man erbt, ~~dass~~ heisst es immer, dass man mit allen Aktiven und Passiven die Erbschaft antritt, und

Regularized form: m

tsc19d02p09

And also you know that when one inherits something it always means that one assumes all the assets and liabilities, and

ts-trc19d02p09

Desuden hedder det jo ogsaa, at naar man arver, kan man nægte at vedgaa Arv og Gæld. Jeg har intet Øjeblik vedgaaet Arven efter Andreas .

d1c23d02p07

Jeg har ikke vedgaaet noget som helst og allermindst hans Fødselsdag, der for mig er ensbetydende med hans Gæld. Jeg vil ikke

blive ved med at slæbe om paa Andreas ' Alder som paa en Byrde, der betyder en Trusel for hele min Fremtid.

d1c23d02p08

d1c23d02p09

"Besides it is said that when you inherit you can refuse to accept the inheritance and the debt. I have at no time accepted Andreas ' inheritance.

d1-trc23d02p07

"I have not accepted anything and least of all his birthday which to me is synonymous with his debt. I will not

keep on carrying Andreas ' age around as a burden that means a threat to my whole future.

d1-trc23d02p08

d1-trc23d02p09

g1c19d02p08

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p08

tsc19d02p10

❡

d1c23d02p10

d1-trc23d02p10

g1c19d02p09

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p09

tsc19d02p11

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

g1c19d02p10

Regularized form: "'

Regularized form: '

a1c19d02p10

seinen Namen tragen. Deshalb meine ich, dass es unrichtig war, seinen Namen im Kirchenbuch einfach auszustreichen und dafür meinen Namen hinzusetzen."

tsc19d02p12

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

g1c19d02p11

"And what did the lawyer answer?

a1c19d02p11

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

tsc19d02p13

❡

Hvad svarede saa den kloge Jurist til dette?

d1c23d02p12

What did the smart lawyer answer to this?

d1-trc23d02p12

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

g1c19d02p12

"In that case I must regard the name of Andreas , to some extent, as my pseudonym.

a1c19d02p12

Dann müsste ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermassen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

tsc19d02p14

❡

At jeg maatte betragte Andreas ' Navn, som om det paa en vis Maade var mit Pseudonym.

d1c23d02p13

That I had to consider Andreas ' name as if it were in some way a pseudonym.

d1-trc23d02p13

Dann müßte ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermaßen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

g1c19d02p13

"'No,' I retorted, 'that would be wrong,

a1c19d02p13

tsc19d02p15

❡

d1c23d02p14

d1-trc23d02p14

g1c19d02p14

" My friend then inquired whether I had never felt any desire to paint like Andreas , whose art had been the most characteristic thing about him.

a1c19d02p14

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Zentrale in ihm gewesen sei.

tsc19d02p16

❡

Saa spurgte min Ven mig, om jeg aldrig havde følt Trang til at male ligesom Andreas , netop fordi hans Kunst havde været det egentlige og det centrale i ham.

d1c23d02p15

Then my friend asked me if I had never felt the urge to paint like Andreas exactly because his art had been essential and central to him.

d1-trc23d02p15

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das

Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Bestimmende in ihm gewesen sei.

g1c19d02p15

a1c19d02p15

tsc19d02p17

❡

d1c23d02p16

d1-trc23d02p16

g1c19d02p16

"We were strolling through the grounds of Bernstorff Castle . It was a dreary December day, and my friend asked me whether I had lost all that feeling for Nature which inspired Andreas .

a1c19d02p16

Wir gingen durch den Schlosspark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

tsc19d02p18

❡

Vi gik senere gennem Bernstorffs Slotspark under en tung og lav Decemberhimmel. Min Ven spurgte mig, om jeg havde mistet den Naturfølelse, der havde været saa udpræget hos Andreas .

d1c23d02p17

We later walked through the park of Bernstorff Palace under a heavy and low December sky. My friend asked me if I had lost the appreciation of nature that had been so marked in Andreas .

d1-trc23d02p17

Wir gingen durch den Schloßpark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

g1c19d02p17

a1c19d02p17

tsc19d02p19

❡

d1c23d02p18

d1c23d02p19

d1-trc23d02p18

d1-trc23d02p19

g1c19d02p18

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p18

tsc19d02p20

❡

d1c23d02p20

Note: The term "Nansen passport" is missing in the American edition.

where my biological age should be stated."

d1-trc23d02p20

g1c19d02p19

" My friend parted from me, shaking his head. And this head-shaking was what I encountered from most people.

Regularized form: "

a1c19d02p19

Kopfschüttelnd verliess mich schliesslich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen."

tsc19d02p21

❡

Rystende paa Hovedet forlod min Ven mig, og jeg ved, at jeg hos de fleste andre Mennesker vil møde den samme Hovedrysten.

d1c23d02p21

Shaking his head my friend left me and I know I will meet the same shaking of the head with most other people."

d1-trc23d02p21

Kopfschüttelnd verließ mich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen.«

g1c19d02p20

D1-TR: Fra Mand til Kvinde (English Translation of Danish Edition)

Chapter 23

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law inhabited a villa facing a little fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious glances.

a1c19p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier weilen.

tsc19p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in a villa outside the small fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious gazes.

ts-trc19p001

Lili s Broder og Svigerinde boede i Nærheden af en af Jylland smaa Fjordbyer . Her kunde hun opholde sig uden at være udsat for nysgerrige Blikke.

d1c23p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in the vicinity of one of Jutland 's small fjord towns . Here she could stay without being exposed to prying eyes.

d1-trc23p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier leben. –

g1c19p001

She was received most cordially, especially by her sister-in-law , a dear good creature who as a woman showed Lili not only sympathy, but profound understanding from the first moment.

a1c19p002

tsc19p002

She was received in the most heartfelt way, especially from her sister-in-law , a

kind-hearted person

Regularized form: Menschenkind

, that showed not just deepest compassion but also understanding for Lili as a woman.

ts-trc19p002

d1c23p002

She was received very kindly by both of them. Her sister-in-law was a good-hearted person who as a woman not only had the deepest compassion for her, but also showed her the deepest understanding.

d1-trc23p002

g1c19p002

The brother did not find it easy the first few days to adjust himself to his new sister, but it was not long before he was quite at home with her and could regard Lili simply as a sister.

a1c19p003

tsc19p003

The brother did not have an easy time getting used to the new sister. But it did not take long for him to find his way around her, and he saw nothing else but a sister in Lili .

ts-trc19p003

d1c23p003

In the first days her brother did not find it easy to adjust to Lili but it did not last very long before he had gotten used to her and regarded her completely as his sister.

d1-trc23p003

g1c19p003

Brother and sister-in-law vied with each other to give Lili a peaceful and happy time during her stay in Andreas ' home town .

a1c19p004

Und Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

tsc19p004

And brother and sister-in-law competed with one another to make Lili 's days in Andreas ' home peaceful and sheltered.

ts-trc19p004

De kappedes begge om at gøre Dagene her i Andreas ' Fødeby saa hyggelige og fredfyldte som muligt.

d1c23p004

They both competed to make the days here in Andreas ' native town as pleasant and peaceful as possible.

d1-trc23p004

Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

g1c19p004

a1c19p005

tsc19p005

ts-trc19p005

d1c23p005

d1-trc23p005

Note: 14 Elbe

zu Wort kommen: es gäbe auch in kleinen Städten böse Menschen und schlimme Hunde oder andere Gefahren . . .

g1c19p005

In these quiet and safe surroundings her nerves got better. She took long walks in the neighbourhood of the town, along the fjord and into the great

Note:

forests which were now glorious in their autumn colours.

a1c19p006

tsc19p006

In that quiet, safe environment Lili 's nerves calmed. She went on long walks into the surroundings of the city , along the fjord and into the big forests that now shone in colorful fall splendor.

ts-trc19p006

d1c23p006

d1-trc23p006

g1c19p006

a1c19p007

tsc19p007

ts-trc19p007

d1c23p007

d1-trc23p007

g1c19p007

One day her brother went with her into the town, to show her the old parental house in which Andreas had been born and nurtured and their parents had lived until their death.

a1c19p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus

zu seigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, wo die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

tsc19p008

One day the brother went with her to town, to show her the

old parental home , in which Andreas had been born and had grown up, where the parents had lived until their death.

ts-trc19p008

En Dag gik Broderen med hende ind til Byen for at vise hende

det gamle Hus, hvor hendes Forældre havde boet lige til deres Død, og hvor han og Andreas var vokset op.

d1c23p008

One day her brother went with her to the town to show her

the old house where her parents had lived until their death and where he and Andreas had grown up.

d1-trc23p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus zu zeigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, und die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

g1c19p008

a1c19p009

tsc19p009

ts-trc19p009

Lili stod foran det gamle Patricierhus. Hun kendte det nok igen, men det var som noget fjernt og taaget, noget, hun en Gang havde set i Drømme.

d1c23p009

d1c23p010

Ofte voldte disse Spørgsmaal hende Smerte, Broderen følte det, og han spurgte ikke mere.

d1c23p011

Lili stood in front of the old patrician house. She recognised the house, but it was like something distant and dim, something she had once seen in dreams.

d1-trc23p009

d1-trc23p010

Often these questions caused her pain, her brother felt it, and he did not ask any more.

d1-trc23p011

diese Fragen bitter und der Bruder fühlte es und fragte nicht mehr.

g1c19p009

It was not through the past that she felt herself linked to her brother and sister-in-law : but both

were so kind and considerate that she gradually felt quite at home with them.

a1c19p010

tsc19p010

ts-trc19p010

d1c23p012

d1-trc23p012

g1c19p010

" Lili ," her brother said one day, "you have now been here almost a whole month and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave in the old churchyard ."

a1c19p011

" Lili ", sagte der Bruder eines Tages zu ihr, "jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und du hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht."

tsc19p011

" Lili ," the brother said to her one day, "now you have been here for a whole month, and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave on the old church yard ."

ts-trc19p011

En Dag sagde hendes Broder til hende:

d1c23p013

— Lili , nu har Du været her en hel Maaned, og endnu har Du ikke været paa Kirkegaarden for at se til Fa'r s og Mo'r s Grav.

d1c23p014

One day her brother said to her:

d1-trc23p013

" Lili , now you have been here for a whole month and still you have not been to the cemetery to see Father 's and Mother 's grave."

d1-trc23p014

» Lili «, sagte der Bruder eines Tages, »jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht.«

g1c19p011

"I should so much like to go there," she answered, "but you must show me where they are buried." Then she burst into tears.

a1c19p012

"Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen," antwortete Lili , "aber du musst mir z eigen, wo sie liegen." Und plötzlich musste sie bitterlich weinen.

tsc19p012

"I would really like to go there," replied Lili , "but you have to show me where they lie." And suddenly she had to cry bitterly.

ts-trc19p012

— Du har Ret, jeg vil gerne derhen.

d1c23p015

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

"You're right, I'd like to go there."

d1-trc23p015

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

»Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen«, antwortete sie, »aber du mußt mir zeigen, wo sie liegen.« Dann mußte sie bitterlich weinen.

g1c19p012

Her brother regarded her with surprise. He took her hands and drew her to him protectively.

a1c19p013

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Dann nahm er sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

tsc19p013

Her brother looked at her puzzled. Then he took his arms and pressed her against himself protectively.

ts-trc19p013

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Er nahm sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

g1c19p013

Lili divined what he was thinking.

a1c19p014

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

tsc19p014

Lili felt, what he was thinking.

ts-trc19p014

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

g1c19p014

a1c19p015

Köstliches regen. Das ist wohl das Glück. In meinen Träumen ist dieses Glück ganz vollkommen."

tsc19p015

delightful

Regularized form: Köstliches

was stirring within me. In my dreams that happiness is completely perfect."

ts-trc19p015

det, som om noget fint og ædelt rører sig i mig. Det er vel Lykke. Og i mine Drømme er jeg altid fuldkommen lykkelig.

d1c23p017

something fine and noble within me. I suppose it is happiness. And in my dreams I am always perfectly happy."

d1-trc23p017

g1c19p015

Her brother gazed at her with inquiring eyes. Lili patted his shoulder. "Dear brother , perhaps you cannot understand me when I talk like that; but that does not matter,

Regularized form: so

long as you are kind to me. Often I do not understand it myself; I do not understand my own life; I can never get over my astonishment."

a1c19p016

Mit fragenden Augen sah der Bruder sie an, als wolle er etwas sagen.

tsc19p016

tsc19p017

With questioning eyes her brother looked at her, as if he wanted to say something.

ts-trc19p016

ts-trc19p017

Broderen saa spørgende paa hende, som om han vilde sige noget.

d1c23p018

Men Lili klappede ham paa Armen og tilføjede:

d1c23p019

d1c23p020

Her brother looked at her inquiringly, as if he were going to say something.

d1-trc23p018

But Lili patted him on the arm and added:

d1-trc23p019

d1-trc23p020

g1c19p016

Andreas Sparre was dead.

a1c19p017

Andreas Sparre war tot.

tsc19p018

Andreas Sparre was dead.

ts-trc19p018

Andreas Sparre var død.

d1c23p021

Andreas Sparre was dead.

d1-trc23p021

Andreas Sparre war tot.

g1c19p017

Lili was again living in her Copenhagen attic.

a1c19p018

Sie wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

tsc19p019

She was living again in her small attic room in Copenhagen .

ts-trc19p019

Lili var vendt tilbage til sine to smaa Gavlværelser i København .

d1c23p022

Lili had returned to her two little gabled rooms in Copenhagen .

d1-trc23p022

Lili wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

g1c19p018

a1c19p019

tsc19p020

Bei Menschen würde man selbstverständlich ähnliche Vorgänge beobachten können.

tsc19p021

ts-trc19p020

Of course it would be possible to observe similar processes in humans.

ts-trc19p021

d1c23p023

d1-trc23p023

g1c19p019

a1c19p020

tsc19p022

ts-trc19p022

d1c23p024

d1-trc23p024

g1c19p020

She confided all this to her diary:

a1c19p021

Und sie gestand sich dies alles in ihr Tagebuch ein:

tsc19p023

And she admitted as much to herself in her diary:

ts-trc19p023

Hun skrev om det i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p025

She wrote about it in her diary:

d1-trc23p025

Sie gestand sich das alles in ihrem Tagebuch ein:

g1c19p021

a1c19d01p01

tsc19d01p01

ts-trc19d01p01

d1c23d01p01

d1-trc23d01p01

g1c19d01p01

At that time she wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz :

a1c19p022

Damals schrieb sie auch einen Brief an Werner Kreutz , worin sie alles, was in ihr vorging, also ausdrückte:

tsc19p024

Back then she also wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz , in which she expressed everything going on within her:

ts-trc19p024

Omtrent paa samme Tid skrev hun et Brev til Professor Werner Kreutz , i hvilket hun prøvede paa at udtrykke, hvad der foregik i hende.

d1c23p026

About the same time she wrote a letter to Professor Werner Kreutz in which she tried to express what went on in her.

d1-trc23p026

g1c19p022

a1c19l01p01

tsc19l01p01

ts-trc19l01p01

d1c23l01p01

d1-trc23l01p01

❡

a1c19l01p02

tsc19l01p02

ts-trc19l01p02

d1c23l01p02

d1-trc23l01p02

g1c19l01p02

a1c19l01p03

Ich war jetzt ein paar Wochen in seinem Geburtsort

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

tsc19l01p03

I have now spent a few weeks in my birthplace

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

ts-trc19l01p03

d1c23l01p03

d1c23l01p04

Note: The American edition uses, "his parents."

lived. I am as reborn. I was born at Frauenklinik and my birthday is that day in April when they operated on me. My disposition is also like April weather. I can cry and laugh at the same time ......

d1-trc23l01p03

And each time I feel how this new life and this new youth stir in my mind as if I were mother and child at the same time, then all my thoughts turn to you in infinite gratitude."

d1-trc23l01p04

g1c19l01p03

A few days later Lili filled many pages in her diary:

a1c19p023

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

tsc19p025

A few days later Lili filled many pages of her diary again:

ts-trc19p025

Nogle Dage senere fyldte Lili igen flere Sider i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p027

Some days later, Lili again filled several pages in her diary:

d1-trc23p027

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

g1c19p023

a1c19d02p01

tsc19d02p01

opposite. That one really is the age that is displayed on official documents, whether one feels young or old. Yesterday I talked to a friend, who is a lawyer , about this question and I said to him:

ts-trc19d02p01

d1c23d02p01

I think the opposite. Whether you feel young or old you have the age that is entered in your papers. Yesterday I talked to a friend who is a lawyer about this question and I said to him:

d1-trc23d02p01

g1c19d02p01

"'Don't forget: every time one books a room in an hotel, fills up a census paper, applies for a situation, or marries, one must always answer questions about age.'

a1c19d02p02

tsc19d02p02

ts-trc19d02p02

d1c23d02p02

d1-trc23d02p02

g1c19d02p02

Andreas would regard me as crazy if I should maintain that I was one and the same person as Andreas . At least I should be regarded as an improbable phenomenon and ridiculed accordingly.

a1c19d02p03

Und was antwortete der Jurist ?

tsc19d02p03

tsc19d02p04

And what did the lawyer reply?

ts-trc19d02p03

I should not be so immodest. I had to take over Andreas ' age as inheritance just as if I were about to inherit his estate with all the rights. What I energetically denied.

ts-trc19d02p04

Og hvad svarede Juristen?

d1c23d02p03

At jeg ikke maatte være saa fordringsfuld. Jeg maatte overtage Andreas ' Alder, ligesom jeg med fuld Ret havde overtaget den øvrige Arv efter ham. Men det bestred jeg heftigt.

d1c23d02p04

d1c23d02p05

And what did the lawyer answer?

d1-trc23d02p03

That I should not be so demanding. I must take over Andreas ' age, just as I had quite rightly taken over the rest of the inheritance from him. But I denied that vehemently.

d1-trc23d02p04

d1-trc23d02p05

Und was antwortete er?

g1c19d02p03

g1c19d02p04

Regularized form: "'

No, if I should really paint I would have to build up my career right from the start, as otherwise I should make myself a laughing-stock.

a1c19d02p04

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

tsc19d02p06

No, if I really were to paint one day, I would have to build my entire career anew. Otherwise I would just be the butt of the people's jokes.

ts-trc19d02p06

d1c23d02p05

d1-trc23d02p05

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

g1c19d02p05

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p05

tsc19d02p07

ts-trc19d02p07

d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

g1c19d02p06

Regularized form: "'

I know very well that I am only a stupid female and a mere nobody.

a1c19d02p06

Ich weiss sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein grosses Nichts.

tsc19d02p08

I know very well, I am just a stupid female person and also a big nobody.

ts-trc19d02p08

d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

Ich weiß sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein großes Nichts.

g1c19d02p07

Regularized form: "'

storms. I feel like a young ingrafted tree which can be uprooted with the first gust of wind.

a1c19d02p07

Und ausserdem weisst du ja, wenn man erbt, ~~dass~~ heisst es immer, dass man mit allen Aktiven und Passiven die Erbschaft antritt, und

Regularized form: m

tsc19d02p09

And also you know that when one inherits something it always means that one assumes all the assets and liabilities, and

ts-trc19d02p09

Desuden hedder det jo ogsaa, at naar man arver, kan man nægte at vedgaa Arv og Gæld. Jeg har intet Øjeblik vedgaaet Arven efter Andreas .

d1c23d02p07

Jeg har ikke vedgaaet noget som helst og allermindst hans Fødselsdag, der for mig er ensbetydende med hans Gæld. Jeg vil ikke

blive ved med at slæbe om paa Andreas ' Alder som paa en Byrde, der betyder en Trusel for hele min Fremtid.

d1c23d02p08

d1c23d02p09

"Besides it is said that when you inherit you can refuse to accept the inheritance and the debt. I have at no time accepted Andreas ' inheritance.

d1-trc23d02p07

"I have not accepted anything and least of all his birthday which to me is synonymous with his debt. I will not

keep on carrying Andreas ' age around as a burden that means a threat to my whole future.

d1-trc23d02p08

d1-trc23d02p09

g1c19d02p08

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p08

tsc19d02p10

❡

d1c23d02p10

d1-trc23d02p10

g1c19d02p09

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p09

tsc19d02p11

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

g1c19d02p10

Regularized form: "'

Regularized form: '

a1c19d02p10

seinen Namen tragen. Deshalb meine ich, dass es unrichtig war, seinen Namen im Kirchenbuch einfach auszustreichen und dafür meinen Namen hinzusetzen."

tsc19d02p12

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

g1c19d02p11

"And what did the lawyer answer?

a1c19d02p11

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

tsc19d02p13

❡

Hvad svarede saa den kloge Jurist til dette?

d1c23d02p12

What did the smart lawyer answer to this?

d1-trc23d02p12

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

g1c19d02p12

"In that case I must regard the name of Andreas , to some extent, as my pseudonym.

a1c19d02p12

Dann müsste ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermassen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

tsc19d02p14

❡

At jeg maatte betragte Andreas ' Navn, som om det paa en vis Maade var mit Pseudonym.

d1c23d02p13

That I had to consider Andreas ' name as if it were in some way a pseudonym.

d1-trc23d02p13

Dann müßte ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermaßen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

g1c19d02p13

"'No,' I retorted, 'that would be wrong,

a1c19d02p13

tsc19d02p15

❡

d1c23d02p14

d1-trc23d02p14

g1c19d02p14

" My friend then inquired whether I had never felt any desire to paint like Andreas , whose art had been the most characteristic thing about him.

a1c19d02p14

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Zentrale in ihm gewesen sei.

tsc19d02p16

❡

Saa spurgte min Ven mig, om jeg aldrig havde følt Trang til at male ligesom Andreas , netop fordi hans Kunst havde været det egentlige og det centrale i ham.

d1c23d02p15

Then my friend asked me if I had never felt the urge to paint like Andreas exactly because his art had been essential and central to him.

d1-trc23d02p15

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das

Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Bestimmende in ihm gewesen sei.

g1c19d02p15

a1c19d02p15

tsc19d02p17

❡

d1c23d02p16

d1-trc23d02p16

g1c19d02p16

"We were strolling through the grounds of Bernstorff Castle . It was a dreary December day, and my friend asked me whether I had lost all that feeling for Nature which inspired Andreas .

a1c19d02p16

Wir gingen durch den Schlosspark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

tsc19d02p18

❡

Vi gik senere gennem Bernstorffs Slotspark under en tung og lav Decemberhimmel. Min Ven spurgte mig, om jeg havde mistet den Naturfølelse, der havde været saa udpræget hos Andreas .

d1c23d02p17

We later walked through the park of Bernstorff Palace under a heavy and low December sky. My friend asked me if I had lost the appreciation of nature that had been so marked in Andreas .

d1-trc23d02p17

Wir gingen durch den Schloßpark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

g1c19d02p17

a1c19d02p17

tsc19d02p19

❡

d1c23d02p18

d1c23d02p19

d1-trc23d02p18

d1-trc23d02p19

g1c19d02p18

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p18

tsc19d02p20

❡

d1c23d02p20

Note: The term "Nansen passport" is missing in the American edition.

where my biological age should be stated."

d1-trc23d02p20

g1c19d02p19

" My friend parted from me, shaking his head. And this head-shaking was what I encountered from most people.

Regularized form: "

a1c19d02p19

Kopfschüttelnd verliess mich schliesslich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen."

tsc19d02p21

❡

Rystende paa Hovedet forlod min Ven mig, og jeg ved, at jeg hos de fleste andre Mennesker vil møde den samme Hovedrysten.

d1c23d02p21

Shaking his head my friend left me and I know I will meet the same shaking of the head with most other people."

d1-trc23d02p21

Kopfschüttelnd verließ mich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen.«

g1c19d02p20

G1: Ein Mensch wechselt sein Geschlecht (German Edition)

Chapter 19

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law inhabited a villa facing a little fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious glances.

a1c19p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier weilen.

tsc19p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in a villa outside the small fjord town in Jutland . Here she could live undisturbed by curious gazes.

ts-trc19p001

Lili s Broder og Svigerinde boede i Nærheden af en af Jylland smaa Fjordbyer . Her kunde hun opholde sig uden at være udsat for nysgerrige Blikke.

d1c23p001

Lili 's brother and sister-in-law lived in the vicinity of one of Jutland 's small fjord towns . Here she could stay without being exposed to prying eyes.

d1-trc23p001

Lili s Bruder und Schwägerin wohnten in einer Villa vor der kleinen Fjordstadt in Jütland . Unbehelligt von neugierigen Blicken konnte sie hier leben. –

g1c19p001

She was received most cordially, especially by her sister-in-law , a dear good creature who as a woman showed Lili not only sympathy, but profound understanding from the first moment.

a1c19p002

tsc19p002

She was received in the most heartfelt way, especially from her sister-in-law , a

kind-hearted person

Regularized form: Menschenkind

, that showed not just deepest compassion but also understanding for Lili as a woman.

ts-trc19p002

d1c23p002

She was received very kindly by both of them. Her sister-in-law was a good-hearted person who as a woman not only had the deepest compassion for her, but also showed her the deepest understanding.

d1-trc23p002

g1c19p002

The brother did not find it easy the first few days to adjust himself to his new sister, but it was not long before he was quite at home with her and could regard Lili simply as a sister.

a1c19p003

tsc19p003

The brother did not have an easy time getting used to the new sister. But it did not take long for him to find his way around her, and he saw nothing else but a sister in Lili .

ts-trc19p003

d1c23p003

In the first days her brother did not find it easy to adjust to Lili but it did not last very long before he had gotten used to her and regarded her completely as his sister.

d1-trc23p003

g1c19p003

Brother and sister-in-law vied with each other to give Lili a peaceful and happy time during her stay in Andreas ' home town .

a1c19p004

Und Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

tsc19p004

And brother and sister-in-law competed with one another to make Lili 's days in Andreas ' home peaceful and sheltered.

ts-trc19p004

De kappedes begge om at gøre Dagene her i Andreas ' Fødeby saa hyggelige og fredfyldte som muligt.

d1c23p004

They both competed to make the days here in Andreas ' native town as pleasant and peaceful as possible.

d1-trc23p004

Bruder und Schwägerin wetteiferten miteinander, Lili die Tage in Andreas ' Heimat friedvoll und geborgen zu gestalten.

g1c19p004

a1c19p005

tsc19p005

ts-trc19p005

d1c23p005

d1-trc23p005

Note: 14 Elbe

zu Wort kommen: es gäbe auch in kleinen Städten böse Menschen und schlimme Hunde oder andere Gefahren . . .

g1c19p005

In these quiet and safe surroundings her nerves got better. She took long walks in the neighbourhood of the town, along the fjord and into the great

Note:

forests which were now glorious in their autumn colours.

a1c19p006

tsc19p006

In that quiet, safe environment Lili 's nerves calmed. She went on long walks into the surroundings of the city , along the fjord and into the big forests that now shone in colorful fall splendor.

ts-trc19p006

d1c23p006

d1-trc23p006

g1c19p006

a1c19p007

tsc19p007

ts-trc19p007

d1c23p007

d1-trc23p007

g1c19p007

One day her brother went with her into the town, to show her the old parental house in which Andreas had been born and nurtured and their parents had lived until their death.

a1c19p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus

zu seigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, wo die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

tsc19p008

One day the brother went with her to town, to show her the

old parental home , in which Andreas had been born and had grown up, where the parents had lived until their death.

ts-trc19p008

En Dag gik Broderen med hende ind til Byen for at vise hende

det gamle Hus, hvor hendes Forældre havde boet lige til deres Død, og hvor han og Andreas var vokset op.

d1c23p008

One day her brother went with her to the town to show her

the old house where her parents had lived until their death and where he and Andreas had grown up.

d1-trc23p008

Eines Tages ging der Bruder mit ihr in die Stadt, um ihr das alte Elternhaus zu zeigen, in dem Andreas geboren und aufgewachsen war, und die Eltern bis zu ihrem Tode gewohnt hatten.

g1c19p008

a1c19p009

tsc19p009

ts-trc19p009

Lili stod foran det gamle Patricierhus. Hun kendte det nok igen, men det var som noget fjernt og taaget, noget, hun en Gang havde set i Drømme.

d1c23p009

d1c23p010

Ofte voldte disse Spørgsmaal hende Smerte, Broderen følte det, og han spurgte ikke mere.

d1c23p011

Lili stood in front of the old patrician house. She recognised the house, but it was like something distant and dim, something she had once seen in dreams.

d1-trc23p009

d1-trc23p010

Often these questions caused her pain, her brother felt it, and he did not ask any more.

d1-trc23p011

diese Fragen bitter und der Bruder fühlte es und fragte nicht mehr.

g1c19p009

It was not through the past that she felt herself linked to her brother and sister-in-law : but both

were so kind and considerate that she gradually felt quite at home with them.

a1c19p010

tsc19p010

ts-trc19p010

d1c23p012

d1-trc23p012

g1c19p010

" Lili ," her brother said one day, "you have now been here almost a whole month and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave in the old churchyard ."

a1c19p011

" Lili ", sagte der Bruder eines Tages zu ihr, "jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und du hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht."

tsc19p011

" Lili ," the brother said to her one day, "now you have been here for a whole month, and you have not yet visited Father 's and Mother 's grave on the old church yard ."

ts-trc19p011

En Dag sagde hendes Broder til hende:

d1c23p013

— Lili , nu har Du været her en hel Maaned, og endnu har Du ikke været paa Kirkegaarden for at se til Fa'r s og Mo'r s Grav.

d1c23p014

One day her brother said to her:

d1-trc23p013

" Lili , now you have been here for a whole month and still you have not been to the cemetery to see Father 's and Mother 's grave."

d1-trc23p014

» Lili «, sagte der Bruder eines Tages, »jetzt bist du bald einen ganzen Monat hier gewesen, und hast noch nicht Vater s und Mutter s Grab auf dem alten Kirchhof besucht.«

g1c19p011

"I should so much like to go there," she answered, "but you must show me where they are buried." Then she burst into tears.

a1c19p012

"Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen," antwortete Lili , "aber du musst mir z eigen, wo sie liegen." Und plötzlich musste sie bitterlich weinen.

tsc19p012

"I would really like to go there," replied Lili , "but you have to show me where they lie." And suddenly she had to cry bitterly.

ts-trc19p012

— Du har Ret, jeg vil gerne derhen.

d1c23p015

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

"You're right, I'd like to go there."

d1-trc23p015

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

»Ich möchte ja so gern dorthin gehen«, antwortete sie, »aber du mußt mir zeigen, wo sie liegen.« Dann mußte sie bitterlich weinen.

g1c19p012

Her brother regarded her with surprise. He took her hands and drew her to him protectively.

a1c19p013

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Dann nahm er sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

tsc19p013

Her brother looked at her puzzled. Then he took his arms and pressed her against himself protectively.

ts-trc19p013

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Der Bruder sah sie verwundert an. Er nahm sie in seine Arme und drückte sie beschützend an sich.

g1c19p013

Lili divined what he was thinking.

a1c19p014

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

tsc19p014

Lili felt, what he was thinking.

ts-trc19p014

Og pludselig gav hun sig til at græde. Broderen saa forundret paa hende. Saa lagde han sin Arm beskyttende om hende, og Lili følte, hvad han tænkte paa.

d1c23p016

And suddenly she began to cry. Her brother looked at her in surprise. Then he put his arm protectively around her, and Lili felt what he was thinking.

d1-trc23p016

Lili fühlte, was er dachte.

g1c19p014

a1c19p015

Köstliches regen. Das ist wohl das Glück. In meinen Träumen ist dieses Glück ganz vollkommen."

tsc19p015

delightful

Regularized form: Köstliches

was stirring within me. In my dreams that happiness is completely perfect."

ts-trc19p015

det, som om noget fint og ædelt rører sig i mig. Det er vel Lykke. Og i mine Drømme er jeg altid fuldkommen lykkelig.

d1c23p017

something fine and noble within me. I suppose it is happiness. And in my dreams I am always perfectly happy."

d1-trc23p017

g1c19p015

Her brother gazed at her with inquiring eyes. Lili patted his shoulder. "Dear brother , perhaps you cannot understand me when I talk like that; but that does not matter,

Regularized form: so

long as you are kind to me. Often I do not understand it myself; I do not understand my own life; I can never get over my astonishment."

a1c19p016

Mit fragenden Augen sah der Bruder sie an, als wolle er etwas sagen.

tsc19p016

tsc19p017

With questioning eyes her brother looked at her, as if he wanted to say something.

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ts-trc19p017

Broderen saa spørgende paa hende, som om han vilde sige noget.

d1c23p018

Men Lili klappede ham paa Armen og tilføjede:

d1c23p019

d1c23p020

Her brother looked at her inquiringly, as if he were going to say something.

d1-trc23p018

But Lili patted him on the arm and added:

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d1-trc23p020

g1c19p016

Andreas Sparre was dead.

a1c19p017

Andreas Sparre war tot.

tsc19p018

Andreas Sparre was dead.

ts-trc19p018

Andreas Sparre var død.

d1c23p021

Andreas Sparre was dead.

d1-trc23p021

Andreas Sparre war tot.

g1c19p017

Lili was again living in her Copenhagen attic.

a1c19p018

Sie wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

tsc19p019

She was living again in her small attic room in Copenhagen .

ts-trc19p019

Lili var vendt tilbage til sine to smaa Gavlværelser i København .

d1c23p022

Lili had returned to her two little gabled rooms in Copenhagen .

d1-trc23p022

Lili wohnte wieder in ihren Giebelstübchen in Kopenhagen .

g1c19p018

a1c19p019

tsc19p020

Bei Menschen würde man selbstverständlich ähnliche Vorgänge beobachten können.

tsc19p021

ts-trc19p020

Of course it would be possible to observe similar processes in humans.

ts-trc19p021

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d1-trc23p023

g1c19p019

a1c19p020

tsc19p022

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d1c23p024

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g1c19p020

She confided all this to her diary:

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Und sie gestand sich dies alles in ihr Tagebuch ein:

tsc19p023

And she admitted as much to herself in her diary:

ts-trc19p023

Hun skrev om det i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p025

She wrote about it in her diary:

d1-trc23p025

Sie gestand sich das alles in ihrem Tagebuch ein:

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a1c19d01p01

tsc19d01p01

ts-trc19d01p01

d1c23d01p01

d1-trc23d01p01

g1c19d01p01

At that time she wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz :

a1c19p022

Damals schrieb sie auch einen Brief an Werner Kreutz , worin sie alles, was in ihr vorging, also ausdrückte:

tsc19p024

Back then she also wrote a letter to Werner Kreutz , in which she expressed everything going on within her:

ts-trc19p024

Omtrent paa samme Tid skrev hun et Brev til Professor Werner Kreutz , i hvilket hun prøvede paa at udtrykke, hvad der foregik i hende.

d1c23p026

About the same time she wrote a letter to Professor Werner Kreutz in which she tried to express what went on in her.

d1-trc23p026

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a1c19l01p01

tsc19l01p01

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❡

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d1c23l01p02

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g1c19l01p02

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Ich war jetzt ein paar Wochen in seinem Geburtsort

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

tsc19l01p03

I have now spent a few weeks in my birthplace

Note: Elsewhere Lili refers to Dresden as her birthplace, but here she clearly means Vejle, Andreas's birthplace.

ts-trc19l01p03

d1c23l01p03

d1c23l01p04

Note: The American edition uses, "his parents."

lived. I am as reborn. I was born at Frauenklinik and my birthday is that day in April when they operated on me. My disposition is also like April weather. I can cry and laugh at the same time ......

d1-trc23l01p03

And each time I feel how this new life and this new youth stir in my mind as if I were mother and child at the same time, then all my thoughts turn to you in infinite gratitude."

d1-trc23l01p04

g1c19l01p03

A few days later Lili filled many pages in her diary:

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Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

tsc19p025

A few days later Lili filled many pages of her diary again:

ts-trc19p025

Nogle Dage senere fyldte Lili igen flere Sider i sin Dagbog:

d1c23p027

Some days later, Lili again filled several pages in her diary:

d1-trc23p027

Wenige Tage später füllte Lili wieder viele Seiten in ihrem Tagebuch:

g1c19p023

a1c19d02p01

tsc19d02p01

opposite. That one really is the age that is displayed on official documents, whether one feels young or old. Yesterday I talked to a friend, who is a lawyer , about this question and I said to him:

ts-trc19d02p01

d1c23d02p01

I think the opposite. Whether you feel young or old you have the age that is entered in your papers. Yesterday I talked to a friend who is a lawyer about this question and I said to him:

d1-trc23d02p01

g1c19d02p01

"'Don't forget: every time one books a room in an hotel, fills up a census paper, applies for a situation, or marries, one must always answer questions about age.'

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Andreas would regard me as crazy if I should maintain that I was one and the same person as Andreas . At least I should be regarded as an improbable phenomenon and ridiculed accordingly.

a1c19d02p03

Und was antwortete der Jurist ?

tsc19d02p03

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And what did the lawyer reply?

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I should not be so immodest. I had to take over Andreas ' age as inheritance just as if I were about to inherit his estate with all the rights. What I energetically denied.

ts-trc19d02p04

Og hvad svarede Juristen?

d1c23d02p03

At jeg ikke maatte være saa fordringsfuld. Jeg maatte overtage Andreas ' Alder, ligesom jeg med fuld Ret havde overtaget den øvrige Arv efter ham. Men det bestred jeg heftigt.

d1c23d02p04

d1c23d02p05

And what did the lawyer answer?

d1-trc23d02p03

That I should not be so demanding. I must take over Andreas ' age, just as I had quite rightly taken over the rest of the inheritance from him. But I denied that vehemently.

d1-trc23d02p04

d1-trc23d02p05

Und was antwortete er?

g1c19d02p03

g1c19d02p04

Regularized form: "'

No, if I should really paint I would have to build up my career right from the start, as otherwise I should make myself a laughing-stock.

a1c19d02p04

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

tsc19d02p06

No, if I really were to paint one day, I would have to build my entire career anew. Otherwise I would just be the butt of the people's jokes.

ts-trc19d02p06

d1c23d02p05

d1-trc23d02p05

Nein, würde ich wirklich einmal malen, ich würde ganz einfach von vorn an meine Laufbahn aufbauen müssen. Denn sonst würde ich mich zum Gespött der Menschen machen.

g1c19d02p05

Regularized form: "'

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tsc19d02p07

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d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

g1c19d02p06

Regularized form: "'

I know very well that I am only a stupid female and a mere nobody.

a1c19d02p06

Ich weiss sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein grosses Nichts.

tsc19d02p08

I know very well, I am just a stupid female person and also a big nobody.

ts-trc19d02p08

d1c23d02p06

d1-trc23d02p06

Ich weiß sehr gut, ich bin nur eine dumme Frauensperson und noch ein großes Nichts.

g1c19d02p07

Regularized form: "'

storms. I feel like a young ingrafted tree which can be uprooted with the first gust of wind.

a1c19d02p07

Und ausserdem weisst du ja, wenn man erbt, ~~dass~~ heisst es immer, dass man mit allen Aktiven und Passiven die Erbschaft antritt, und

Regularized form: m

tsc19d02p09

And also you know that when one inherits something it always means that one assumes all the assets and liabilities, and

ts-trc19d02p09

Desuden hedder det jo ogsaa, at naar man arver, kan man nægte at vedgaa Arv og Gæld. Jeg har intet Øjeblik vedgaaet Arven efter Andreas .

d1c23d02p07

Jeg har ikke vedgaaet noget som helst og allermindst hans Fødselsdag, der for mig er ensbetydende med hans Gæld. Jeg vil ikke

blive ved med at slæbe om paa Andreas ' Alder som paa en Byrde, der betyder en Trusel for hele min Fremtid.

d1c23d02p08

d1c23d02p09

"Besides it is said that when you inherit you can refuse to accept the inheritance and the debt. I have at no time accepted Andreas ' inheritance.

d1-trc23d02p07

"I have not accepted anything and least of all his birthday which to me is synonymous with his debt. I will not

keep on carrying Andreas ' age around as a burden that means a threat to my whole future.

d1-trc23d02p08

d1-trc23d02p09

g1c19d02p08

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p08

tsc19d02p10

❡

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d1-trc23d02p10

g1c19d02p09

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p09

tsc19d02p11

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

g1c19d02p10

Regularized form: "'

Regularized form: '

a1c19d02p10

seinen Namen tragen. Deshalb meine ich, dass es unrichtig war, seinen Namen im Kirchenbuch einfach auszustreichen und dafür meinen Namen hinzusetzen."

tsc19d02p12

❡

d1c23d02p11

d1-trc23d02p11

g1c19d02p11

"And what did the lawyer answer?

a1c19d02p11

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

tsc19d02p13

❡

Hvad svarede saa den kloge Jurist til dette?

d1c23d02p12

What did the smart lawyer answer to this?

d1-trc23d02p12

Und was gab mir der Jurist zur Antwort?

g1c19d02p12

"In that case I must regard the name of Andreas , to some extent, as my pseudonym.

a1c19d02p12

Dann müsste ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermassen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

tsc19d02p14

❡

At jeg maatte betragte Andreas ' Navn, som om det paa en vis Maade var mit Pseudonym.

d1c23d02p13

That I had to consider Andreas ' name as if it were in some way a pseudonym.

d1-trc23d02p13

Dann müßte ich den Namen von Andreas gewissermaßen als mein Pseudonym betrachten.

g1c19d02p13

"'No,' I retorted, 'that would be wrong,

a1c19d02p13

tsc19d02p15

❡

d1c23d02p14

d1-trc23d02p14

g1c19d02p14

" My friend then inquired whether I had never felt any desire to paint like Andreas , whose art had been the most characteristic thing about him.

a1c19d02p14

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Zentrale in ihm gewesen sei.

tsc19d02p16

❡

Saa spurgte min Ven mig, om jeg aldrig havde følt Trang til at male ligesom Andreas , netop fordi hans Kunst havde været det egentlige og det centrale i ham.

d1c23d02p15

Then my friend asked me if I had never felt the urge to paint like Andreas exactly because his art had been essential and central to him.

d1-trc23d02p15

Da fragte der Freund mich, ob ich denn niemals das

Verlangen gehabt habe zu malen, wie Andreas , da gerade seine Kunst das Eigentliche und Bestimmende in ihm gewesen sei.

g1c19d02p15

a1c19d02p15

tsc19d02p17

❡

d1c23d02p16

d1-trc23d02p16

g1c19d02p16

"We were strolling through the grounds of Bernstorff Castle . It was a dreary December day, and my friend asked me whether I had lost all that feeling for Nature which inspired Andreas .

a1c19d02p16

Wir gingen durch den Schlosspark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

tsc19d02p18

❡

Vi gik senere gennem Bernstorffs Slotspark under en tung og lav Decemberhimmel. Min Ven spurgte mig, om jeg havde mistet den Naturfølelse, der havde været saa udpræget hos Andreas .

d1c23d02p17

We later walked through the park of Bernstorff Palace under a heavy and low December sky. My friend asked me if I had lost the appreciation of nature that had been so marked in Andreas .

d1-trc23d02p17

Wir gingen durch den Schloßpark von Bernstorff . Es war trüber Dezemberhimmel. Und der Freund fragte mich, ob ich denn alles Naturgefühl von Andreas verloren hätte.

g1c19d02p17

a1c19d02p17

tsc19d02p19

❡

d1c23d02p18

d1c23d02p19

d1-trc23d02p18

d1-trc23d02p19

g1c19d02p18

Regularized form: "'

a1c19d02p18

tsc19d02p20

❡

d1c23d02p20

Note: The term "Nansen passport" is missing in the American edition.

where my biological age should be stated."

d1-trc23d02p20

g1c19d02p19

" My friend parted from me, shaking his head. And this head-shaking was what I encountered from most people.

Regularized form: "

a1c19d02p19

Kopfschüttelnd verliess mich schliesslich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen."

tsc19d02p21

❡

Rystende paa Hovedet forlod min Ven mig, og jeg ved, at jeg hos de fleste andre Mennesker vil møde den samme Hovedrysten.

d1c23d02p21

Shaking his head my friend left me and I know I will meet the same shaking of the head with most other people."

d1-trc23d02p21

Kopfschüttelnd verließ mich der Freund . Und diesem Kopfschütteln werde ich wohl bei den meisten Menschen begegnen.«

g1c19d02p20