Lili Elbe Digital Archive

Chapter 10

Three days later Grete arrived early in the morning.

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Drei Tage später, früh morgens, mitten im Reinemachen der Klinik , bestaunt von den scheuernden, blitzblanken Hausmädchen und Klinikschwestern, traf Grete ein, ganz Pariserin, elegant, pelzvermummt, morgenfrisch.

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Three days later, in the early morning, during the cleaning up of the clinic , marveled at by the scrubbing and squeaky clean housemaids and nurses, Grete arrived, all Parisienne, elegant, fur-clad, morning fresh.

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Tre Dage senere, tidlig om Morgenen, inden de endnu var blevet færdig med Rengøringen, der besørgedes af de skrubbende Gangpiger og de skinnende hvide Sygeplejersker , aabenbarede Grete sig, elegant, morgenfrisk, indhyllet i Pelsværk, Pariserinde fra Top til Taa.

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Three days later, early in the morning, even before they had finished the cleaning, which was seen to by the scrubbing ward maids and the shiny white nurses , Grete appeared, elegant, fresh from a good night's sleep, wrapped in fur, Parisienne from head to foot.

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Drei Tage später, frühmorgens, traf Grete ein.

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The nurse on duty knew at once who she was.

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Die wachthabende Schwester wusste sofort, wer sie war.

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The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

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Den vagthavende Sygeplejerske vidste straks, hvem hun var.

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The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

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Die wachthabende Schwester wußte sofort, wer sie war.

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"Ah, Madame, nicht wahr, Madame Sparre ?" begrüsste sie die frühe Besucherin. "Darf ich Sie führen. Sie werden mit Sehnsucht erwartet. Entschuldigen Sie das Durcheinander auf den Korridoren."

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"Ah, Madame, is that right, Madame Sparre ?" she greeted the early visitor. "May I guide you. You are being passionately expected. Please excuse the mess in the corridors."

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— Aah, det er Fru Sparre , ikke? sagde hun ...... nu skal jeg vise Dem Vej ...... De bliver ventet med Længsel ...... De maa undskylde den Uorden, her er, vi er endnu ikke færdig med Morgenrengøringen.

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"Oh, it's Mrs. Sparre isn't it?" she said ......"let me show you the way ...... You are eagerly expected ...... Please, excuse the disorder here, we haven't yet finished the morning cleaning."

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Grete zog schnell den rechten Handschuh ab, reichte der Schwester die Hand, - und sie musste ein kleines Lächeln unterdrücken, als sie sah, wie ihre hoch rot gefärbten Nägel und ihre vielleicht noch stärker kolorierten Lippen und am allermeisten ~~vielleicht~~ wohl das Odeur, das sie in diese nach guter grüner Seife duftende Umgebung brachte, aller Augen auf sie lenkte.

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Grete quickly slipped off her right glove, shook the nurse 's hand, - and had to suppress a small smile when she saw how her deep red painted nails and perhaps her even stronger colored lips and most of all possibly the fragrance she brought into this environment smelling of green soap drew all eyes to her.

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Grete tog sin højre Handske af og rakte Sygeplejersken sin Haand. Hun maatte undertrykke et lille Smil, da hun saa, hvorledes hendes rødlakerede Negle, hendes endnu rødere Læber og allermest den Vellugt, der strømmede ud fra hendes Pels og blandede sig med Gangens Duft af grøn Sæbe og renskurede Gulve, fik dem allesammen til at stirre paa hende.

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Grete took off her right glove and held out her hand to the nurse . She had to suppress a little smile as she saw how her red fingernails and her even redder lips and most of all the fragrance emanating from her fur and mingling with the smell in the corridor of green soap and well-scrubbed floors made them all stare at her.

Note: Paragraphs 3-4 are missing from the American edition.

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A few moments later she was in the sick-room.

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Ein paar Augenblicke nooh und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

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A few moments and she stood in the hospital room.

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Saa stod hun i Sygeværelset.

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Then she was in the sickroom.

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Ein paar Augenblicke noch, und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

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Geräuschlos war sie eingetreten. Die Morgensonne betupfte spielend das weisse Bett, in dem sich wie aus einem Traum erwachend ein blasses Menschenwesen sehr langsam erhob. Zwei tief braune, grosse Augen blickten ihr entgegen. Ein Mund zuckte, aber die Lippen blieben stumm.

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She had entered without making a sound. The morning sun playfully blotted the white bed in which a pale human being rose very slowly as if waking from a dream. Two deep brown, large eyes gazed at her. A mouth twitched, but the lips remained silent.

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Hun var kommet ind uden at gøre den mindste Støj. Morgensolen strejfede den hvide Seng, i hvilken hun saa et blegt Ansigt, der løftede sig som vaagnet af en Drøm. To store, dybe, brune Øjne saa imod hende, og det bævede om en Mund, hvis Læber forblev stumme.

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She had come in without making the slightest noise. The morning sun touched the white bed in which she saw a pale face rising as if woken from a dream. Two big, deep, brown eyes looked towards her and the lips quivered but remained mute.

Note: This paragraph is missing in the American edition.

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Grete stood in the middle of the room with outstretched arms, and could not stir. She was struggling with her tears. She wanted to throw him a gay greeting, but sank down sobbing by the side of the bed.

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Mit ausgebreiteten Armen stand Grete mitten im Raum, konnte sich nicht rühren. Sie kämpfte mit Tränen. Sie wollte nicht weinen. Sie wollte lächeln. Sie wollte ein frohes Wort als Gruss sagen. Doch die braunen, grossen Augen hielten sie fest. Viele, ewig lange Sekunden ... Da streichelte ein schmaler Sonnenstrahl das Krankengesicht, rieselte in den aufjauchzenden Blick der grossen, braunen Augen hinein, zündete darin ein silbernes Lichtlein an, es war der Glanz von zwei Tränenperlen ... Und Grete riss sich aus ihrer Erstarrung los ... und sank aufschluchzend vor dem Krankenbett nieder ...

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Grete stood with widely spread arms in the middle of the room, and couldn't move. She fought back tears. She didn't want to cry. She wanted to smile. She wanted to say a happy word as a greeting. But these large, brown eyes kept her fixated. Many, eternal seconds ... Then a slim ray of sunlight caressed the sick one's face, trickled into the rejoicing glance of the large, brown eyes, ignited a small, silver light within them, it was the gleam of two teardrops ... And Grete snapped out of her torpor ... and sank down in front of the sickbed, sobbing ...

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Med udbredte Arme blev Grete staaende som forstenet midt i Stuen uden at kunne røre sig. Hun kæmpede med Graaden. Men hun vilde ikke græde ...... hun vilde smile. Hun vilde sige Goddag med et Par glade Ord ...... men de store, brune Øjne holdt hende fast ...... der gik et Par uendelig lange Sekunder ...... saa strejfede en smal Solstraale den Syges Ansigt, gled hen over de mørke Øjne, hvis Blik lyste op i begyndende Jubel og tændte et sølvblankt Skær ...... Skæret fra to Taareperler ...... Saa rev Grete sig ud af sin Forstenelse ...... og sank hulkende paa Knæ foran Sygesengen.

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With open arms Grete stopped as if petrified in the middle of the room without being able to move. She fought back her tears. But she would not cry ...... she wanted to smile. She wanted to say hello with a few happy words ...... but the big, brown eyes held her ...... a few infinitely long seconds passed ...... then a narrow ray of sun touched the patient's face, passed over the dark eyes whose look lit up in a beginning exultation and enkindled a silvery lustre ...... the lustre of two pearly tears ...... Then Grete tore herself from her astonishment ...... and sobbing sank on her knees in front of the sick bed.

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Mit ausgebreiteten Armen stand Grete mitten im Raum, konnte sich nicht rühren. Sie kämpfte mit Tränen. Sie wollte ein frohes Wort als Gruß sagen und sank aufschluchzend vor dem Krankenbett nieder . . .

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Was diese beiden Menschenkinder in dieser Stunde des Wiedersehens empfunden, durchlebt und einander gestanden haben im stummen Verweilen beieinander, vermag kein Wort festzuhalten.

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What these two human children felt, lived through and confessed to each other in this hour of reunion in silent sojourn, no word may capture.

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Hvad disse to Mennesker følte ved deres Gensyn, hvad de gennemlevede og sagde hinanden i dette tavse Samvær — det formaar Ord ikke at gengive.

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What these two people felt at their reunion, what they lived through and said to each other during this silent time together – words cannot render.

Note: This paragraph is missing from the American edition.

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Late in the evening, when she was alone with the turmoil of thoughts and sensations that assailed her, Grete wrote the following letter to their friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

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Spät abends, allein mit sich unddem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den fernen, treuen Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

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Late at night, alone with herself and the storm of confusing thoughts and feelings, Grete wrote this letter to the distant, faithful friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

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Sent om Aftenen, da Grete var blevet alene med sine forvirrede Tanker og modstridende Følelser, skrev hun følgende Brev til Vennen i Paris , til Claude Lejeune :

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Late in the evening when Grete was alone with her confused thoughts and conflicting emotions she wrote the following letter to her friend in Paris , to Claude Lejeune :

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Spät abends, allein mit dem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

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"I can only hint at what I have been through to-day. I thought I should find Andreas . Andreas is dead, for I could not see him. I found a pale being. Lili , and yet not Lili as we had known her in Paris . It was another. New in voice and expression, new in the pressure of her hand, unspeakably changed. Or was it a being who is in process of finding herself? No doubt the latter is the case. So womanly and untouched by life. No, womanly is not the right word. Maidenly, I ought to say. Perhaps childish, fumbling with a thousand questions in the dark.

A 'nova vita'. I cannot find words to express my meaning. I have been shaken to my depths. What a fate, Claude ! A fit of uncanny shuddering grips me whenever I reflect upon it. It is a mercy that Lili herself is too weak now to look backward or forward. She is hardly able to realize the condition she is in at the moment. I spoke to the doctors.

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" Claude , nur andeuten kann ich, was ich heute hier durchgemacht habe. Ich glaubte, Andreas zu finden. Andreas ist tot. Denn ich fand ihn nicht wieder. Ein bleiches, süsses Wesen fand ich. Lili , und doch war es nicht Lili , wie wir sie in Paris gekannt haben. Es war eine andere. Es war ein neues Wesen. Neu in Stimme und Ausdruck des Auges, neu in dem Druck ihrer Hand, eine unsagbar Verwandelte. Oder war es ein Wesen, das auf dem Wege ist, sich selber ganz zu finden? Dies muss es wohl sein. So fraulich und unberührt von dem Leben. Nein, fraulich ist nicht das richtige Wort. Mädchenhaft muss ich wohl sagen. Vielleicht kindlich, tastend, mit tausend Fragen im Schauen. Eine "Nova Vita" ... Ach, ich suche hier nach Worten, selber bis ins tiefste erschüttert und hingerissen wie von einem Wunder. Und dennoch weiss ich, dass die Qual der Kreatur noch mit unerhörten Schmerzen Lili s sich allmählich aus Sohlacken dumpfen Schicksals

entkapselnde Seele heimsucht ... Welch ein Geschick, Claude ! Unfassbares Schauern schüttelt mich, überdenke ich all dies. Eine Gnade des Himmels ist es, dass Lili selber noch zu schwach ist, jetzt rückwärts und vorwärts zu blicken. Kaum dass sie imstande ist, ihren augenblicklichen Zustand völlig zu erkennen. Jch sprach mit den Ärzten. Dieser erste Eingriff, ~~wie sie~~ die äussere Geschlechtsumwandlung, die ja erst klinisch einen Beginn darstellt sei über alle Erwartungen günstig verlaufen. Andreas hat aufgehört, zu existieren, sagten sie. Seine Keimdrüsen, o, dieses mystische Wort, seien ihm genommen. Was jetzt noch zu geschehen sei, würde in D. bei Professor Kreutz vor sich gehen. Von Hormonen erzählten mir die Ärzte; ich tat so, als wüsste ich, was sie meinten. Jetzt habe ich mir ein Wörterbuch genommen und nachgelesen, dass es sich dabei um 'für Lebensvorgange wichtige Absonderungen innerer Organe' handelt. Aber klüger bin ich nicht geworden. Muss man denn aber mit Klugheit und Wissen sich ausrüsten, um ein Wunder begreifen zu können? Muss man überhaupt ein Wunder begreifen? Ich nehme das Wunder hin wie ein gläubiger Mensch. Was ich hier in der Klinik gefunden habe, möchte ich die Enträtselung des geliebten Wesens nennen, dessen Leben und Qual uns allen, die wir es die vielen, schweren Jahre daheim mit erlebt haben, uns als ein unlösbares Rätsel empfunden haben ... Enträtselung ... Das ist es wohl. doch die Enträtselung ist noch nicht vollbracht. Jch weiss es. Lili ahnt es. Ihren zerschundenen Leib darf sie selber noch nicht sehen. Er liegt verbunden und verschnürt, ihr selber und wohl auch den Ärzten nooh ein Geheimnis, das erst Kreutz ganz lüften darf. Sie alle hier, die Ärzte, die Schwestern, unsere Freunde Niels und Inger , haben mir ihre Verwunderung über die unerhört grosse äusserliche Veränderung an "unserm Patienten" ~~mir gegenüber nennen~~ - denn sie wissen ~~noch~~ nicht recht, ob sie dieses leidende Wesen noch als Mann oder aber sohon als Weib ansprechen sollen, - unverhohlen ausgedrückt. Was ist ihre Verwunderung gegen meine? Sie haben das kranke Wesen jeden Tag jetzt gesehen. Aber ich, nur ~~wenige~~ zwei Wochen von ihm getrennt gewesen, ich hätte dieses geliebte Menschenkind jetzt kaum wieder erkannt. Und so wie es mir ergangen ist, wird es einst Dir ergehen, Dir und Elena und Ernesto , denen Du diese Zeilen zeigen

muss

Regularized form: musst

. Denn mehr kann ich heute nicht schreiben. Nur noch dies, dass Lili , diese laue, süsse Lili wie, oh, ich muss es aussprechen, weil es die Wahrheit ist, wie ein Schwesterchen in meinen Armen lag, viel, viel Tränen weinte und einmal ganz leise schluchzend zu mir sagte: "Bist du mir auch nicht gram, dass - - ( und da sah sie mich mit fassungslosen Augen an ) Andreas dich um deine schönsten Jahre betrogen hat?" - Claude , ich konnte vor Erschütterung kein Wort über die Lippen bringen, - und als ich es endlich hätte aussprechen können, was ich fühlte, da wagte ich es nicht. Nicht mich, dachte ich, hat Andreas betrogen, nicht mich, wohl aber dich, Lili , meine süsse, blasse Lili , dich um deine jungjungen Mädchenjahre ... Claude , Du und ich und wir alle müssen der betrogenen Lili helfen, Andreas Betrug an ihr wieder gut zu machen ..."

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" Claude , I can only hint at what I went through here today. I thought I would find Andreas . Andreas is dead. Because I did not find him. I found a pale, sweet being. Lili , and yet it was not Lili as we knew her from Paris . It was a different one. It was a new being. New in voice and expression of the eye, new in the pressure of her hand, an inexpressibly changed person. Or was it a being that is on the way of finding itself whole? Apparently it has to be this way. So womanly and untouched by life. No, womanly is probably not the right word. I would rather say girly. Maybe childlike, tentative, with a thousand questions in her gaze. A "Nova Vita" ... Oh, I am searching for the right words, I am deeply shaken myself and spellbound as if by a miracle. And yet I know that the anguish of this creature with the outrageous pain of Lili is

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

Note: Und dennoch weiss ich, dass die Qual der Kreatur noch mit uner- hörten Schmerzen Lilis sich allmählich aus Sohlacken dumpfen Schicksals entkapselnde Seele heimsucht.-- This is a difficult passage to translate, and the American edition omits it perhaps for that reason.

... what a fate, Claude ! Incredible shudders shake me, if I think about this. It is a mercy of the heavens that Lili herself is too weak to look forward or backward. She is barely able to recognize her current state of being. I talked to the doctors. The first procedure, as they call this initial, outer sex change, that is clinically only the beginning, has succeeded better than all expectations. Andreas ceased to exist, they said. His gonads, oh, this mystical word, have been removed. What has to happen now, will happen in D. with Professor Kreutz . The doctors told me about hormones; I pretended to know what they meant. Now I have a dictionary and found out that those are ‘dissociations of inner organs important for life processes.' But I haven't become any wiser. Must one acquire wisdom and knowledge in order to understand a miracle? Does one even have to understand a miracle in the first place? I take the miracle like a pious person. What I have found here in the clinic I want to call the unraveling of a beloved being, whose life and torment seemed to all of us who witnessed it throughout those many, hard years an unsolvable enigma ... Unraveling ... That is it. But the unraveling is not yet complete. I know it. Lili suspects it. She must not be allowed to see her damaged body yet. It lies bound and tied, a secret to herself and to her doctors, that only Kreutz will be allowed to uncover it. Everyone here, the doctors, the nurses, our friends Niels and Inger , all have candidly expressed to me their astonishment at the tremendous outward change of "our patient" – because they don't know yet whether to talk about this being as a man or as a woman. How does their astonishment compare to mine? They have seen the sick being every day now. But for me who has been separated from him for only two weeks, I would have barely recognized this beloved human child. And as I have had to endure this, so will you have to endure, you and Elena and Ernesto , to whom you must show these lines. Because I can't write any more today. Just this, that Lili , this mild, sweet Lili , oh, I have to say it, because it is the truth, lay in my arms like a little sister, cried many many tears and said to me, sobbing: "You are not cross with me for - - (and here she looked at me with baffled eyes) Andreas stealing your most beautiful years?" – Claude , I was so shaken I could not say a word, - and when I could have finally expressed what I was feeling, I didn't dare to. Not me, I thought, has Andreas robbed, not me, but you, Lili , my sweet, pale Lili , of your youthful girl years ... Claude , you and I and all of us have to help this deceived Lili , to make up for Andreas ' betrayal ..."

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»Hvad jeg i Dag har oplevet, kan jeg ikke beskrive ...... Jeg kan kun antyde, Claude , ikke forklare. Andreas er død ...... ham fandt jeg ikke mere. Men jeg fandt et blegt og yndigt Væsen. Det var Lili og alligevel ikke hende, ikke den Lili , som vi kendte i Paris , men en anden, et helt nyt Væsen. Hendes Stemme, Udtrykket i hendes Øjne, hendes Haandtryk, alt var nyt ... Er det en Forvandling, eller er det et Væsen, som er i Færd med at finde sig selv? Det maa vel være det sidste. Hun er saa kvindelig og uberørt af Livet ...... nej, kvindelig er ikke det rigtige Ord, jeg vil snarere kalde det ungpigeagtig, næsten barnlig, sky og usikker og med tusinde Spørgsmaal paa Læben ...... Jeg føler det, som om jeg staar overfor et Under, og jeg er altfor grebet og betaget til at kunne finde de rette Ord ...... Og paa samme Tid ved jeg, at der endnu venter hende ufattelige Lidelser, inden hendes Sjæl vikles helt ud af det Hylster, der omslutter den ...... Hvilken Skæbne, Claude ! Det gyser i mig, naar jeg prøver paa at tænke det igennem. Det er en Himlens Naade, at hun selv endnu er for svag til at se tilbage eller frem, hun er knapt nok i Stand til at erkende sin nuværende Tilstand. Jeg talte med Lægerne ...... Dette første Indgreb har kun været Indledningen til den Kønsforvandling, der nu skal udvikle sig klinisk, men foreløbig er alt gaaet over Forventning ...... Andreas er nu ophørt at eksistere, siger de, de Kirtler, der gjorde ham til Mand, er fjernede. Hvad der videre skal foretages, vil blive gjort i Dresden af Professor Werner Kreutz ...... Lægerne snakkede ogsaa noget om Hormoner, og jeg lod, som om jeg forstod, hvad de mente ...... Nu har jeg slaaet op i en Lægebog, og dèr staar, at »Hormoner er æggende eller vækkende Stoffer, der hører til den interne Sekretion og fremskynder, eventuelt fremkalder, andre Organers Virksomhed.« Det blev jeg ikke meget klogere af ...... Men hvad skal man med Klogskab og

Viden, naar det drejer sig om et Mirakel? Jeg kan bare tro paa det. Hvad jeg oplevede paa Kliniken , staar for mig som Løsningen paa den Gaade, der gennem de mange, svære Aar har pint baade Andreas og os, der levede sammen med ham, og som forekom os ganske uløselig ...... Men Løsningen er endnu ikke færdig. Jeg ved det, og Lili aner det ...... Endnu er hendes inderste Væsen bastet og bundet, og først Professor Werner Kreutz vil være i Stand til at løse Baandene. Alle her, Lægerne , Sygeplejerskerne , Niels og Inger , betragter med Forundring den store, ydre Forandring, der er foregaaet med »den lille Patient«, men de ved ikke rigtigt, om de stadig skal betragte dette lidende Væsen som en Mand, eller om de allerede skal tale til hende som til en Kvinde. Og hvad er deres Forundring mod min? Dag ud og Dag ind levede jeg med dette stakkels, syge Menneske. Kun de faa Uger, siden han forlod Paris , har vi været skilte, og nu staar jeg overfor et nyt Menneske, som jeg næsten ikke kender. Og som det er gaaet mig, vil det ogsaa gaa Dig og Elena og Ernesto , som Du maa vise dette Brev, for jeg kan ikke udholde at skrive mere ...... Jeg maa kun tilføje, at da Lili , denne nye, søde Lili , som en lille Søster — ja, saaledes følte jeg det — grædende søgte Tilflugt i mine Arme, stammede hun:

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"What I have experienced today, I cannot describe ...... I can only suggest, Claude , not explain. Andreas is dead ...... I could no longer find him. But I found a pale and lovely creature. It was Lili and yet not her, not the Lili we knew in Paris , but someone else, an entirely new creature. Her voice, the expression in her eyes, her handshake, everything was new ... Is it a transformation or is it a being who is in the process of finding herself? I suppose it must be the latter. She is so womanly and untouched by life ...... no, womanly is not the right word, I would rather call it girlish, almost childlike, shy and insecure with a thousand questions on her lips ...... I feel as if I am faced with a wonder, and I am much too moved and fascinated to be able to find the right words ...... And at the same time I know that unimaginable sufferings still await her before her soul is completely disentangled from the mantle enclosing it ...... What a destiny, Claude ! I shudder when I try to think it through. It is a mercy from heaven that she is still too weak to look back or forward, she herself is barely able to realise her present condition. I talked to the doctors ......This first operation has only been the beginning of the sex transformation that now is to develop clinically, but so far everything has gone better than could be expected ...... Andreas has now ceased to exist, they say, the glands, which made him a man, have been removed. What has to be done next will be done in Dresden by Professor Werner Kreutz ...... The doctors also said something about hormones, and I pretended to understand what they meant ...... Now I have looked it up in a medical book, and it says that "Hormones are stimulating or rousing substances belonging to the internal secretion and accelerating, possibly sparking off the activity of other organs." That did not tell me much ...... But what use is wisdom and

knowledge when it comes to a miracle? I can only believe in it. What I experienced at the clinic appears to me as the solution to the mystery which through the many difficult years has tormented Andreas and us who lived with him and which has seemed quite insoluble to us ...... But the solution has yet not been completed. I know it, and Lili suspects it ...... Her innermost being is still tied and bound, and only Professor Kreutz will be in a position to undo the ties. Everyone here, the doctors , the nurses , Niels and Inger observe with wonder the great external change that has happened to 'the little patient,' but they do not really know if they should still consider this suffering being a man, or if they should already address her as a woman. And what is their astonishment against mine? Day in and day out I lived with this poor, sick person. We have only been apart the few weeks since he left Paris , and now I am facing a new person whom I almost do not know. And what has happened to me will happen to you and Elena and Ernesto to whom you must show this letter for I cannot bear to write any more ...... I must only add that when Lili , this new, sweet Lili , like a little sister – yes, that is how I felt – sought refuge in my arms crying, she stammered:

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» Claude , nur andeuten kann ich, was ich heute hier durchgemacht habe. Ich glaubte, Andreas zu finden. Andreas ist tot. Denn ich fand ihn nicht wieder. Ein bleiches Wesen fand ich. Lili , und doch war es nicht Lili , wie wir sie in Paris gekannt haben. Es war eine andere. Neu in Stimme und Ausdruck des Auges, neu in dem Druck ihrer Hand, eine unsagbar Verwandelte. Oder war es ein Wesen, das auf dem Wege ist, sich selber zu finden? Dies muß es wohl sein. So fraulich

Note: 8 Elbe

und unberührt von dem Leben. Nein, fraulich ist nicht das richtige Wort. Mädchenhaft muß ich wohl sagen. Vielleicht kindlich, tastend, mit tausend Fragen im Schauen. Eine ,Nova Vita' . . . Ach, ich suche hier nach Worten, selber bis ins Tiefste erschüttert . . . Welch ein Geschick, Claude ! Unfaßbares Schauern schüttelt mich, überdenke ich all dies. Eine Gnade des Himmels ist es, daß Lili selber noch zu schwach ist, jetzt rückwärts und vorwärts zu blicken. Kaum daß sie imstande ist, ihren augenblicklichen Zustand völlig zu erkennen. Ich sprach mit den Ärzten. Dieser erste Eingriff, der ja erst einen Beginn darstellt, sei über alle Erwartungen günstig verlaufen. Andreas hat aufgehört zu existieren, sagten sie. Seine Keimdrüsen, oh, dieses mystische Wort, seien ihm genommen. Was jetzt noch zu geschehen sei, würde in Dresden bei Professor Kreutz vor sich gehen. Von Hormonen erzählten mir die Ärzte; ich tat so, als wüßte ich, was sie meinten. Jetzt habe ich mir ein Wörterbuch genommen und nachgelesen, daß es sich dabei um ,für Lebensvorgänge wichtige Absonderungen innerer Organe' handelt. Aber klüger bin ich nicht geworden. Muß man denn aber mit Klugheit und Wissen sich ausrüsten, um ein Wunder begreifen zu können? Muß man überhaupt ein Wunder begreifen? Ich nehme das Wunder hin wie ein gläubiger Mensch. Was ich hier in der Klinik gefunden habe, möchte ich die Enträtselung des geliebten Wesens nennen, dessen Leben und Qual wir alle, die wir es die vielen, schweren Jahre daheim mit erlebt haben, als ein unlösbares Rätsel empfunden haben . . . Enträtselung . . . Das ist es wohl. Doch die Enträtselung ist noch nicht vollbracht. Ich weiß es. Lili ahnt es. Ihren zerschundenen Leib darf sie selber noch nicht sehen. Er liegt verbunden, ihr selber und wohl auch den Ärzten noch ein Geheimnis, das erst Kreutz ganz lüften darf. Sie alle hier, die Ärzte, die Schwestern,

unsere Freunde Niels und Inger , haben mir ihre Verwunderung über die unerhört große äußerliche Veränderung an , unserm Patienten ' – denn sie wissen nicht recht, ob sie dieses Wesen noch als Mann oder aber schon als Weib ansprechen sollen – unverhohlen ausgedrückt. Was ist ihre Verwunderung gegen meine? Sie haben das kranke Wesen jeden Tag jetzt gesehen. Aber ich, nur zwei Wochen von ihm getrennt gewesen, ich hätte dieses geliebte Menschenkind jetzt kaum wiedererkannt. Und so wie es mir ergangen ist, wird es einst Dir ergehen, Dir und Elena und Ernesto , denen Du diese Zeilen zeigen mußt. Denn mehr kann ich heute nicht schreiben. Nur noch dies, daß Lili , diese neue, süße Lili , wie, oh, ich muß es aussprechen, weil es die Wahrheit ist, wie ein Schwesterchen in meinen Armen lag, viel, viel Tränen weinte und einmal ganz leise schluchzend zu mir sagte: ,Bist du mir auch nicht gram, daß – (und da sah sie mich mit fassungslosen Augen an) Andreas dich um deine schönsten Jahre betrogen hat?' – Claude , ich konnte vor Erschütterung kein Wort über die Lippen bringen – und als ich es endlich hätte aussprechen können, was ich fühlte, da wagte ich es nicht. Nicht mich, dachte ich, hat Andreas betrogen, nicht mich, wohl aber dich, Lili , meine süße, blasse Lili , dich um deine jungjungen Mädchenjahre . . . Claude , Du und ich und wir alle müssen der betrogenen Lili helfen, Andreas ' Betrug an ihr wieder gutzumachen . . .«

g1c10l01p01

"The first operation, which only represents a beginning, has been successful beyond all expectations. Andreas had ceased to exist, they said. His germ glands—oh, mystic words—have been removed. What has still to happen will take place in Dresden under the hands of Professor Kreutz . The doctors talked about hormones; I behaved as if I knew what they meant. Now I have looked up this word in the dictionary and find that it refers to the secretions of internal organs which are important for vital processes. But I am no wiser than I was before. Must one equip oneself, then, with wisdom and knowledge in order to understand a miracle? I accept the miracle like a credulous person.

a1c10l01p02

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

"What I found here in the nursing-home I would call the unravelling of the beloved being whose life and torments those of us who have shared with him all these many difficult years, have felt to be an insoluble riddle. Unravelling. . . .That's what it is. But the unravelling is not yet finished. I know it, and Lili suspects it. She is not yet allowed to see her lacerated body. It is bound up, and to herself and probably also to the doctors is still a secret which only Kreutz can unveil entirely.

a1c10l01p03

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

"Everybody here, the doctors, the nurses, our friends Niels and Inger , have candidly expressed to me their astonishment at the almost miraculous outward change in ' our patient '—for they do not rightly know whether they ought to address this being as a man or a woman. What is their astonishment compared with mine? They have been seeing the invalid every day. But I, who had been parted from him only two weeks, should have scarcely recognized my beloved husband . And as it has fared with me, so it will one day fare with you and Elena and Ernesto , to whom you must show this letter.

a1c10l01p04

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

"More than this I cannot write now, except to say that Lili , this sweet new Lili , lay in my arms like—oh, I must say it, because it is the truth—like a little sister, weeping many, many tears, and all at once said to me with a gentle sob in her voice: 'Are you not angry with me'— looking at me with so perplexed an expression—'because Andreas has robbed you of your best years?' Claude , I was too shocked to utter a word—and when at length I could have said what I felt, I dared not do so. Not me, I thought, has Andreas robbed, not me, but you, Lili , my sweet pale Lili , of all your girlish years. You and I, Claude , and all of us, must help to compensate Lili for the fraud which Andreas has practised on her."

a1c10l01p05

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

— Er Du ikke vred paa mig, fordi ...... fordi Andreas bedrog Dig for dine skønneste Aar? ......

d1c12l01p02

Jeg var saa rystet, Claude , at jeg næsten ikke kunde faa et Ord over mine Læber ...... og da jeg endelig følte mig i Stand til at sige, hvad jeg følte, saa vovede jeg det ikke ...... Det er ikke mig, ikke mig, som Andreas har bedraget, det er hende selv, Lili , min søde, blege Lili , som han bedrog ved at berøve hende hendes Ungpigetilværelse ...... Claude , Du og jeg maa gøre alt, hvad vi formaar for at hjælpe den bedragne Lili og raade Bod paa det, Andreas har gjort imod hende ......«

d1c12l01p03

d1-trc12l01p01

'Are you angry with me because ...... because Andreas robbed you of your most beautiful years? ......'

d1-trc12l01p02

I was so shocked, Claude , that I almost could not utter a word ...... and when I finally felt able to say what I felt, I did not dare ...... It is not me, not me, whom Andreas has deceived, it is herself, Lili , my sweet pale Lili whom he betrayed by depriving her of her life as a young girl ...... Claude , you and I must do everything we can to help this betrayed Lili and make up for what Andreas has done to her ......"

d1-trc12l01p03

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

a1c10p006

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

tsc10p010

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

ts-trc10p010

❡

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

g1c10p006

The next morning— Grete had spent the night

alone in an hotel— the head nurse proposed to put another bed in the sick-room, so that Grete could be near the patient until the departure for Dresden , which was appointed to take place within a few days.

a1c10p007

Am nächsten Morgen, - die Nacht hatte Grete allein in einem Hotel verbracht, - machte die Oberschwester den Vorschlag, noch ein Bett in das Krankenzimmer

zu stellen, damit Grete bis zur Abreise nach Dresden , die in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

tsc10p011

The next morning, - Grete had spent the night alone in a hotel , - the head nurse suggested putting another bed into the

hospital room, so that Grete could stay close to the patient until the departure for Dresden , which would take place within a few days.

ts-trc10p011

Næste Morgen, Natten havde Grete tilbragt paa et Hotel , foreslog Oversygeplejersken at stille endnu en Seng ind i Sygeværelset, for at Grete inden Afrejsen til Dresden , der skulde finde Sted om nogle Dage, hele Tiden kunde være i Patientens Nærhed.

d1c12p010

The next morning, Grete had spent the night at a hotel , the head nurse suggested putting another bed into the sick room so that Grete , before the departure to Dresden which was to take place a few days later, could be close to the patient all the time.

d1-trc12p010

Am nächsten Morgen – die Nacht hatte Grete allein in einem Hotel verbracht – machte die Oberschwester den Vorschlag, noch ein Bett in das Krankenzimmer zu stellen, damit Grete bis zur Abreise nach Dresden , die

Note: 8*

in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

g1c10p007

"Splendid!" whispered Grete , delighted, and taking the nurse by the hand she led her into an adjoining room, which stood empty. Swiftly she fetched a trunk which she had left in the corridor, opened it cautiously, and drew out a silk négligée.

a1c10p008

"Herrlich," flüsterte Grete entzückt, nahm die Schwester bei der Hand, zog sie mit sich hinaus in ein Nebenzimmer, das leer stand, hatte geschwind ein Köfferchen, das sie im Korridor hatte stehen lassen, geholt, öffnete es geheimnisvoll und wisperte fast unhörbar, "liebste Schwester, aber jetzt dürfen wir nicht mehr von dem Patienten sprechen . " Die Schwester begriff nicht, was Grete damit meinte, sah sie nur fragend an.

tsc10p012

"Bitte," mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein entzückendes Seidennegligé hervorgeholt, "ist das nicht goldig?"

tsc10p013

"Splendid," Grete whispered, delighted, took the nurse by the hand, pulled her along into the next room which was empty now, quickly fetched a small suitcase she had left in the hallway, opened it mysteriously and whispered almost inaudibly, "dearest nurse, we must not talk about

the

Regularized form: dem

patient any more." The nurse did not understand what Grete meant by this and just looked at her, questioning.

ts-trc10p012

"Here," with a quick grip Grete took a delightful silken negligee out of the suitcase, "isn't this lovely?"

ts-trc10p013

— Det var dejligt, svarede Grete taknemligt, tog Sygeplejersken s Haand og trak hende med ind i Sideværelset, der stod ledigt. Hun

hentede hurtigt en Haandkuffert, som hun havde ladet blive staaende i Gangen, aabnede den og hviskede ganske sagte:

d1c12p011

— Kære Søster, nu skal jeg vise Dem noget, og saa taler vi ikke mere om ham .

d1c12p012

Hun tog et henrivende Silkenégligé frem af Kufferten:

d1c12p013

"How nice," Grete answered gratefully, took the nurse 's hand and pulled her into the side room that was vacant. She

quickly fetched a suitcase which she had left standing in the hallway, opened it and whispered softly:

d1-trc12p011

"Dear Sister, let me show you something, and then we will speak no more of him ."

Note: The whisper is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p012

She took a lovely silk négligé out from the suitcase:

d1-trc12p013

»Herrlich«, flüsterte Grete entzückt, nahm die Schwester bei der Hand, zog sie mit sich hinaus in ein Nebenzimmer, das leer stand, hatte geschwind ein Köfferchen, das sie im Korridor hatte stehen lassen, geholt, öffnete es geheimnisvoll und wisperte fast unhörbar: »Liebste Schwester , aber jetzt dürfen wir nicht mehr von dem Patienten sprechen!« Die Schwester begriff nicht, was Grete damit meinte, sah sie nur fragend an.

g1c10p008

»Bitte«, mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein Seidennegligé hervorgeholt.

g1c10p009

❡

— Er det ikke bedaarende?

d1c12p014

"Isn't it beautiful?"

d1-trc12p014

❡

"How becoming you will look in it, madam!"

a1c10p009

"Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!"

tsc10p014

"How well that will look on you, ma'am!"

ts-trc10p014

— Jo, det vil klæde Dem henrivende, naadige Frue.

d1c12p015

"Yes, it will become you wonderfully, madam."

d1-trc12p015

»Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!«

g1c10p010

"I? No, Nurse ; it is a present from our Parisian friend for our—patient inside. But not a word, please, until to-morrow morning!"

a1c10p010

"Mich? ... Nein, Schwesterchen, das ist ein Geschenk von unserer Pariser Freundin für unsere - - Patientin dadrinnen!" Und sie tupfte ihre leuchtend rot gefärbten mandelförmigen Fingernägel beschwörend auf den erstaunten Mund der Schwester . "Aber bitte, nichts verraten - vor morgen früh!"

tsc10p015

"On me? ... No, dear sister, that is a present from our Parisian friend to our - - girl patient there!" And she dabbed her brightly red painted, almond shaped fingernails imploringly on the nurse 's shocked mouth. "But please, don't say anything – not before tomorrow morning!"

ts-trc10p015

— Mig? ...... Nej, det er ikke til mig, det er til ...... til vor lille søde Veninde derinde. Men — og hun lagde Fingeren med den rødlakerede Negl paa sin Mund — tys, det er en Hemmelighed ...... til i Morgen tidlig.

d1c12p016

"Me? ...... No it is not for me, it is for ...... for our sweet little friend in there. But," she laid her finger with the painted red nail on her mouth, "hush, it's a secret ...... until tomorrow morning."

d1-trc12p016

»Mich? . . . Nein, Schwesterchen , das ist ein Geschenk von unserer Pariser Freundin für unsere – Patientin da drinnen! – Aber bitte, nichts verraten – vor morgen früh!«

g1c10p011

And when morning came it found Lili sitting in the most charming Parisian négligée, still very pale and limp, but nevertheless quite gay, in the white sick-bed. And the assistant doctor could hardly believe his eyes. "Famous! Congratulations, miss! And if you promise to be very good and careful you may get up to-day for two hours and show yourself to your astonished friends. More than this we cannot permit for the time being."

a1c10p011

Und als es wieder Morgen war, sass im duftigsten Pariser Negligé eine junge Dame, noch recht blass und zag, aber dennoch so grenzenlos froh, in dem weissen Krankenbett. Und der Assistenzarzt traute kaum seinen Augen ob dieser Verwandlung. "Fabelhaft! Mein Kompliment, gnädiges Fräulein! Und wenn Sie sehr brav und vorsichtig zu sein versprechen, dürfen Sie heute zwei Stunden aufstehen und sich Ihrer erstaunten Umwelt zeigen! Aber bitte schön, nur hier im Zimmer! Mehr dürfen wir uns noch nicht zutrauen!"

tsc10p016

And when it was morning again, a young lady sat there in the most fragrant Parisian negligee, still quite pale and frail, but still boundlessly happy, on the white hospital bed. And the assistant doctor barely believed his eyes due to this transformation. "Magnificent! My compliments, gracious lady! And if you promise to be very well behaved and careful, you may get up for two hours today and show yourself to

your astonished environment

Regularized form: Ihrer erstaunten Um-welt

! But please, just here in this room! We can't risk any more than that!"

ts-trc10p016

Næste Morgen sad en, endnu lidt bleg og forsagt, men grænseløs henrykt, ung Dame i et fint duftende Parisernégligé oprejst i den hvide Sygeseng, støttet af Puderne. Reservelægen vilde næsten ikke tro sine egne Øjne, da han saa denne Forvandling:

d1c12p017

— Min Kompliment, naadige Frøken! ...... Hvis De lover mig at være meget tapper og meget forsigtig, saa skal De faa Lov til i Dag at komme op et Par Timer og hen i Lænestolen, saa at De kan vise Dem for den undrende Verden ...... men kun to Timer, og De maa blive her i Værelset ...... vi maa gaa varsomt frem ......

d1c12p018

Next morning a still slightly pale and timid, but infinitely delighted young lady sat upright in the white sick bed in a delicately scented Parisian négligé supported by the pillows. The assistant doctor almost could not believe his own eyes when he saw this transformation:

d1-trc12p017

"My compliments, Miss! ...... If you promise me to be very brave and very careful you'll have permission to get up for a couple of hours today and move over to the armchair so that you can show yourself to the wondering world ...... but only for two hours and you must stay in this room ...... we must proceed cautiously."

d1-trc12p018

Und als es wieder Morgen war, saß im duftigsten Pariser Negligé Lili , noch recht blaß und zag, aber dennoch so grenzenlos froh, in dem weißen Krankenbett. Und der Assistenzarzt traute kaum seinen Augen. »Fabelhaft! Mein Kompliment, gnädiges Fräulein! Und wenn Sie sehr brav und vorsichtig zu sein versprechen, dürfen Sie heute zwei Stunden aufstehen und sich Ihrer erstaunten Umwelt zeigen! Aber bitte schön, nur hier im Zimmer! Mehr dürfen wir uns noch nicht Zutrauen!«

g1c10p012

One nurse after another rustled in. Their astonishment was unbounded.

a1c10p012

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen. " Fräulein Lili ," sagte die Oberschwester und nahm das bleiche, bebende Geschöpf mütterlich in die Arme.

tsc10p017

One nurse after the other rushed inside. Endless astonishment with all of them. " Miss Lili ," the head nurse said and enfolded the pale, quaking creature motherly in her arms.

ts-trc10p017

Flere af Sygeplejerskerne gjorde sig i Dagens Løb Ærinde ind i Sygeværelset, og Oversygeplejersken tog Lili moderligt i sine Arme og hviskede:

d1c12p019

Several of the nurses found a pretext for going into the sick room during the day and the head nurse maternally took Lili in her arms and whispered:

d1-trc12p019

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen.

g1c10p013

❡

— Nu skal De bare være tapper!

d1c12p020

"Now you just have to be brave!"

Note: The Matron's embrace and whisper are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p020

❡

Such was the reception accorded in the Berlin nursing-home to the miracle performed upon this still very fatigued human being, a reception unmingled with curiosity or excessive inquiry; and when Professor Gebhard paid a visit in the evening, he kissed the patient's trembling hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world: "Good day, mademoiselle," he said; "I congratulate you. You are on the right road."

a1c10p013

So und nicht anders nahm man in der Berliner Klinik das an diesem noch recht müden Menschenwesen geschehene Wunder hin, ohne Neugier, ohne langes Prägen, und als abends sich Professor G. zur Visite einfand, küsste er mit galanter Selbstverständlichkeit seiner Patientin die zitternde Hand. "Bonsoir, Mademoiselle," sagte er, "ich beglückwünsche Sie. Sie sind auf dem besten Wege."

tsc10p018

In this and in no other way in the Berlin clinic they accepted the miracle that had happened to this still quite tired human being, without curiosity, without long questions, and when Professor G. came around that night for his rounds, he kissed his patient's quivering hand with gallant naturalness. "Bonsoir, Mademoiselle," he said, "my congratulations. You are on the right road."

ts-trc10p018

Det var det hele, ingen Nysgerrighed og ingen Spørgsmaal, og da Overlægen om Aftenen kom paa Besøg hos sin Patient, tog han, som om det var en Selvfølge, galant hendes Haand og kyssede den, idet han sagde:

d1c12p021

— God Aften, Mademoiselle, jeg ser, at det stadig gaar udmærket!

d1c12p022

That was all, no curiosity and no questions, and when the senior physician came to visit with his patient in the evening he, as if it were a matter of course, gallantly took her hand and kissed it saying:

d1-trc12p021

"Good evening, Mademoiselle, I see that you are still doing well!"

d1-trc12p022

So und nicht anders nahm man in der Berliner Klinik das an diesem noch recht müden Menschenwesen geschehene Wunder hin, ohne Neugier, ohne langes Fragen, und als abends sich Professor Gebhard zur Visite einfand, küßte er mit galanter Selbstverständlichkeit seiner Patientin die zitternde Hand. »Guten Tag, Mademoiselle«, sagte er, »ich beglückwünsche Sie. Sie sind auf dem besten Wege.«

g1c10p014

Then he noticed Grete for the first time. "Ah, madam, welcome."

a1c10p014

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . "Ah, Madame, willkommen."

tsc10p019

Only then did he noticed Grete . "Ah, Madame, welcome."

ts-trc10p019

Saa først fik han Øje paa Grete :

d1c12p023

Only then did he see Grete :

d1-trc12p023

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . »Ah, Madame, willkommen.«

g1c10p015

❡

— Jeg beder undskylde ......

d1c12p024

"I apologize ....."

d1-trc12p024

❡

For a moment the Professor and Grete confronted each other mutely, not without suppressed emotions.

a1c10p015

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

tsc10p020

For a moment the Professor and Grete stood there, facing each other in silence not without restrained shock.

ts-trc10p020

Et Øjeblik stod Grete og Overlægen og saa paa hinanden med tilbageholdt Sindsbevægelse. Saa sagde Lægen med en godmodig Latter:

d1c12p027

For a moment Grete and the doctor looked at each other with restrained emotion. Then the doctor said with a good-natured laugh:

d1-trc12p027

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

g1c10p016

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor , this is Madame Grete , who . . ."

a1c10p016

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. "Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die ..."

tsc10p021

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor, this is Madame Grete , who ..."

ts-trc10p021

Lili skyndte sig at forestille:

d1c12p025

— Det er min ...... det er Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p026

Lili hastened to introduce:

d1-trc12p025

"This is my ...... this is Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p026

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. »Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die . . .«

g1c10p017

The Professor gave a good-humoured laugh. "I know; who was married to Monsieur Andreas Sparre , who has slipped away from us in such a miraculous manner. Men are deceivers ever, madame." And with this happy expression the tension of a difficult situation was relieved.

a1c10p017

Der Professor fand ein gütiges Lächeln. "... ich weiss, die mit dem uns auf so mirakulöse Weise entwichenen ~~Herr~~ Monsieur Andreas Sparre verheiratet war. Männer sind nun einmal untreue Wesen, Madame." Und damit war auch in diesem Augenblick auf echt deutsche, sachliche Welse, wie Grete später ihren Freunden erzählt hat, das erlösende Wort gefunden worden.

tsc10p022

The Professor found a kind smile. "...I know, who was married to Andreas Sparre who has left us in such a miraculous way. After all, men are unfaithful creatures, isn't that right, Madame?" And with that the relieving words had been found, a truly German, objective manner, as Grete would tell her friends later.

ts-trc10p022

— Ja, jeg ved jo, at De var gift med den forsvundne Andreas Sparre .

Men hvad skal man sige til det? Mænd er nu engang troløse ...... man ved aldrig, hvor man har dem.

d1c12p028

"Yes, I know that you were married to the missing Andreas Sparre .

But what can one say? Men are faithless ...... you never know where you are with them."

d1-trc12p028

Der Professor fand ein gütiges Lächeln. » . . . ich weiß, die mit dem uns auf so mirakulöse Weise entwichenen Monsieur Andreas Sparre verheiratet war. Männer sind nun einmal untreue Wesen, Madame.« Und damit war auch in diesem Augenblick auf echt deutsche Weise, wie Grete später ihren Freunden erzählt hat, das erlösende Wort gefunden worden.

g1c10p018

Lili surrendered herself to all this as if unconcerned, during her first Berlin days. Observers could detect in her scarcely any trace of excitement, but rather a kind of relaxation. Moreover, she avoided replying to any look of astonishment on the faces of others by a word or even a gesture.

a1c10p018

Vielleicht etwas unbeteiligt nahm Lili selber alldies während ihrer ersten Berliner Tage hin. Man konnte ihr kaum irgendwelche Erregung anmerken, eher eine Art Entspannung. Ohne Verwunderung nahm sie fortab die Anrede "gnädiges Fräulein" oder " Fraulein Lili " aus dem Munde der Schwestern hin. Auch vermied sie es, irgend einen verwunderten Blick der anderen durch ein Wort oder auch nur durch eine Geste zu erwidern. Dies fiel vor allem Frau Inger und dem Freunde Niels auf.

tsc10p023

Lili took all of this in, maybe a little detached, during her first days in Berlin . There was no excitement to register here, more a kind of relaxation. She accepted being addressed as "young lady" or " Miss Lili " from the mouths of the nurses. She also avoided replying to any puzzled look by another with a word or even a gesture. This was especially noticed by Miss Inger and friend Niels .

ts-trc10p023

Det var, som om Lili i de første Dage ikke tog rigtig Del i det, der foregik omkring hende. Uden at vise nogen Forundring hørte hun Sygeplejerskerne sige »Frøken« eller »Frøken Lili« til hende, men hverken med et Ord eller en Bevægelse besvarede hun sine Venners forundrede Blikke.

d1c12p029

It was as if Lili in the first days

Note: The American edition has "her first Berlin days"

did not really take part in what was happening around her. Without showing any surprise she heard the nurses call her " Miss " or " Miss Lili ," but neither with a word nor a movement did she answer the surprised looks of her friends.

d1-trc12p029

Wie unbeteiligt nahm Lili selber all dies während ihrer ersten Berliner Tage hin. Man konnte ihr kaum irgendwelche Erregung anmerken, eher eine Art Entspannung. Auch vermied sie es, irgendeinen verwunderten Blick der anderen durch ein Wort oder auch nur durch eine Geste zu erwidern.

g1c10p019

"We must leave her in peace," Grete would then say to them in confidence. "She is resting. She is in a kind of transition. She is now getting ready to soar into freedom."

a1c10p019

"Wir müssen sie in Frieden lassen," sagte dann heimlich Grete zu ihnen. Sie ruht in sich aus. Es ist ja alles erst eine Art Übergang. Der grosse, befreiende Aufschwung bereitet sich in ihr erst vor."

tsc10p024

"We have to leave her in peace," Grete said to them, secretly. She is recovering. It is all just a kind of transition. The big, liberating upswing is still only preparing within her."

ts-trc10p024

— Vi maa lade hende være i Fred, sagde Grete til Inger og Niels , hun hviler ud i sig selv ...... det er altsammen kun en Overgang ...... Forberedelsen til hendes Væsens frie Udfoldelse.

d1c12p030

"We must leave her alone," Grete said to Inger and Niels , "she is resting within herself ...... it is all just a passing phase ......the preparation of the free development of her nature."

d1-trc12p030

»Wir müssen sie in Frieden lassen«, sagte dann heimlich Grete zu ihnen. »Sie ruht in sich aus. Es ist ja alles erst eine Art Übergang. Der große, befreiende Aufschwung bereitet sich in ihr erst vor.«

g1c10p020

During these days Grete began to keep a diary. Every evening she recorded therein her observations, and the experiences which crowded thickly upon her in the company of the new Lili , in simple, almost fumbling sentences, seeking the way of her friend—this difficult, wonderful way upon which Lili had scarcely ventured to take the first step.

a1c10p020

Und in diesen Tagen begann Grete , ein Tagebuch zu führen. Jeden Abend trug sie darin ihre Beobachtungen, ihre Erlebnisse, die im Zusammensein mit der neuen Lili auf sie einstürmten, ein. Einfache, leise, wie tastende Sätze, auf der Suche nach dem Weg der Freundin, diesem schweren, wunderbaren Weg, auf dem Lili kaum die ersten Schritte versucht hatte ...

tsc10p025

And in those days, Grete began to keep a diary. Every night she recorded therein her observations, her experiences that crowded upon her in the presence of the new Lili . Simple, quiet, groping sentences, searching for the way of the friend, that hard, wonderful way upon which Lili had barely tried her first steps...

ts-trc10p025

I denne Periode passede Grete omhyggeligt sin Dagbog. Hver Aften nedskrev hun sine Iagttagelser og de Oplevelser, hun i Dagens Løb havde haft sammen med Lili . I enkle, famlende Ord søgte hun at efterspore den dunkle og vanskelige Vej, ad hvilken Lili vandrede sine første Skridt ......

d1c12p031

During this period Grete carefully kept her diary. Every evening she wrote down her observations and the experiences she had had with Lili during the day. In simple, hesitant words she sought to trace the obscure and difficult path along which Lili walked her first steps ......

d1-trc12p031

In diesen Tagen begann Grete , ein Tagebuch zu führen. Jeden Abend trug sie darin ihre Beobachtungen, ihre Erlebnisse, die im Zusammensein mit der neuen Lili auf sie einstürmten, ein. Einfache, leise, wie tastende Sätze, auf der Suche nach dem Weg der Freundin, diesem schweren, wunderbaren Weg, auf dem Lili kaum die ersten Schritte versucht hatte . . .

g1c10p021

Here is a leaf from the diary that she started:

a1c10p021

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

tsc10p026

Here is a page of this newly begun diary:

ts-trc10p026

Her er en enkelt Side af denne Dagbog:

d1c12p032

Here is a single page of this diary:

d1-trc12p032

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

g1c10p022

" Lili bears everything with incredible patience. True, she whimpers every morning, and even

when her bandages are changed, when fasteners must be undone and done up, and when the still fresh scars are painted.

a1c10d01p01

❡

— »Med beundringsværdigt Taalmod bærer Lili Operationens Eftervirkninger, selv om hun græder og jamrer sig lidt, naar Forbindingen Morgen og Aften skal skiftes. Klemmer fjernes og Traade trækkes ud. Men hun beklager sig ikke. — »Det skal jo til«, siger hun med en Resignation, som jeg aldrig før har kendt hos hende. Hun har kun det ene Ønske snarest mulig at komme til Dresden , til sin egen Professor , saaledes kalder hun ham ...... Hun taler aldrig om Fortiden ...... Ofte har jeg Indtrykket af, at hun slet ikke har haft nogen Fortid, som om hun heller ikke har nogen Nutid, som om hun bare eksisterer i Forventningen om det Liv, Professor Kreutz vil give hende.«

d1c12d01p01

"With admirable patience Lili endures the after-effects of the surgery although she cries and moans a little morning and evening when the dressing has to be changed, clamps have to be removed and thread pulled out. But she does not complain. 'It must be done,' she says with a resignation which I have never known in her before. She has only one wish, to get to Dresden as soon as possible, to her own professor , that is what she calls him ...... She never speaks about the past ...... Often I have the impression that she has not had any past, as if she has no present either, as if she just exists in the expectation of the life Professor Kreutz will give her."

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

Verbände erhält, wenn Klammern gelöst und Fäden abgetrennt werden müssen, wenn die noch frischen Narben bepinselt werden. ,Das muß wohl so sein', sagt sie mit einer Geduld, die ich nie vorher an ihr erlebt habe. Sie hat nur einen Wunsch, bald nach Dresden zu kommen, zu ihrem Professor . Nur so spricht sie von ihm oder sie nennt ihn ihren Wundermann. Von der Vergangenheit spricht sie mit keinem Wort. Es will mir oft scheinen, als habe sie noch gar keine Vergangenheit gehabt. Als glaube sie auch noch nicht recht an eine Gegenwart. Als erwarte sie erst von Kreutz , ihrem Wundermann, ihren eigentlichen Lebensbeginn.«

g1c10d01p01

"'This is all for my good,' she says with a patience which I have never seen her display before. She has only one wish, to go to Dresden soon, to her Professor . She always calls him her Professor, or else her miracle-man. About the past she does not say a single word. It often seems to me as if she were without any past at all, as if she did not yet really believe in a present, as if she had been waiting for Kreutz , her miracle-man, in order to bring her to proper life."

a1c10d01p02

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

Here is another entry:

a1c10p022

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

tsc10p027

Here another entry:

ts-trc10p027

En anden Dag skrev Grete :

d1c12p033

Another day Grete wrote:

d1-trc12p033

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

g1c10p023

"To-day Inger and I did some shopping without Lili knowing what we were about. We must make some preparations for the journey to Dresden . In the afternoon we returned to Lili , bringing with us a big cardboard box. 'Guess what we have brought you,' I said gaily. Lili regarded us calmly, without a smile. 'I don't know.' That was her only answer. Then Inger opened the box. ' Lili . . .' said Inger , spreading out the coat in front of Lili , and showing her the silk lining. Lili looked at the coat, and said: 'But Professor Kreutz will send me away if I appear before him in this attire. He won't recognize me at all.' And her eyes looked so sad. Really, they are always sad, even when she smiles. Andreas had quite different eyes. So had Lili in Paris . I think the eyes of the Lili to-day are not yet quite awake. She does not

yet believe. . . . Or is it that she will not yet show that she believes?"

a1c10d02p01

❡

... »Uden at Lili vidste det, har Inger og jeg truffet Forberedelser til hendes Rejse til Dresden . I Dag var vi i Butiker, og vi kom tilbage til Kliniken med en stor, broget Æske.

d1c12d02p01

— Prøv paa, om Du kan gætte, hvad det er? sagde jeg.

d1c12d02p02

Lili saa paa os og svarede uden et Smil:

d1c12d02p03

— Nej, det kan jeg ikke!

d1c12d02p04

Inger skar Seglgarnet over og trak en dejlig, brun Pels op af Æsken.

d1c12d02p05

— Den er til Dig, Lili , sagde Inger og bredte Pelsen ud foran hende og viste hende det lækre, bløde Silkefoer ......

d1c12d02p06

— Det er sødt af Jer, svarede hun, men tror I, Professor Kreutz vil synes om, at jeg møder i den Paaklædning ...... bare han kan kende mig igen ......

d1c12d02p07

Og hendes Øjne blev bedrøvede ...... Aah, Gud, hendes Øjne! ...... Egentlig er de bedrøvede, ogsaa naar hun ler. Andreas ' Øjne var helt anderledes ...... ogsaa Lili s hjemme i Paris ...... Det er, som om den nye Lili s Øjne endnu ikke er rigtig vaagne ...... som om de endnu ikke tror ...... eller de tør maaske ikke vise, hvad de tror.«

d1c12d02p08

... "Without Lili 's knowledge, Inger and I have made preparations for her journey to Dresden . Today we went shopping, and we returned to the clinic with a big multicoloured box.

d1-trc12d02p01

'Try to guess what this is?' I said.

d1-trc12d02p02

Lili looked at us and replied without a smile:

d1-trc12d02p03

'No, I can't!'

d1-trc12d02p04

Inger cut through the string and pulled a lovely brown fur coat out of the box.

d1-trc12d02p05

'This is for you, Lili ,' Inger said and spread the coat in front of her and showed her the lovely, soft silk lining ......'

d1-trc12d02p06

'That is sweet of you, she answered, but do you think that Professor Kreutz will approve if I make my appearance dressed like that ...... I only hope he can recognise me ......'

d1-trc12d02p07

And her eyes became sad ...... Oh God, her eyes! ...... Really, they are sad, also when she laughs. Andreas ' eyes were quite different ...... Lili 's too, back home in Paris ...... It is as if the new Lili 's eyes are not yet properly awake ...... as if they still do not believe ...... or maybe they are afraid to show what they believe."

d1-trc12d02p08

»Mit Inger hatte ich heute, ohne daß Lili wußte, was wir vorhatten, Besorgungen gemacht. Wir müssen uns ja für die Reise nach Dresden vorbereiten. Nachmittags kamen wir wieder zu Lili . Einen großen, bunten Karton brachten wir mit. ,Rate, was wir für dich mitgebracht haben', sagte ich sehr froh. Lili sah uns ruhig und ohne Lächeln an. ,Ich weiß es nicht.' Das war ihre einzige Antwort. Dann öffnete Inger den Karton. Darin lag ein brauner Pelzmantel. ,Der ist für dich, Lili ', sagte Inger , breitete den Pelz vor Lili aus, zeigte ihr das schöne Seidenfutter. ,Wird Professor Kreutz mich nicht ausschelten, wenn ich so zurechtgemacht vor ihn hintrete? Er erkennt mich ja gar nicht wieder.' Und ihre Augen waren traurig geworden. – Gott, ihre Augen . . . Eigentlich sind sie immer traurig, auch wenn sie lächeln. Andreas hatte ganz andere Augen. Auch die Lili in Paris . Ich glaube, die Augen der Lili von heute sind noch nicht ganz wach geworden. Sie glauben noch nicht . . . Oder mag sie es noch nicht zeigen, daß sie glaubt?«

g1c10d02p01

On this day Lili wrote her first letter, to her brother-in-law in Copenhagen .

a1c10p023

❡

An diesem Tag schrieb Lili ihren ersten Brief – an den Schwager in Kopenhagen :

g1c10p024

" Berlin ,

a1c10l02ha

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"14th March, 1930.

a1c10l02hb

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c10l02hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c10l02hb

"It is now Lili who is writing to you. I am sitting up in my bed in a silk nightdress with lace trimming, curled, powdered, with bangle, necklace, and rings. Even my solemn Professor calls me Lili , and everybody compliments me upon my appearance; but I am still feeling tired after the operation and the terrible nights that followed it. Grete has arrived, and has gone out to buy me a warm coat, so that I can travel to Dresden next week. The operation which has been performed here enables me to enter the clinic for women (exclusively for women). And now I feel I have courage for the major operation. A thousand thanks for the cheque. When we leave for Dresden , all letters will be forwarded. Now I can say with a light heart: 'It matters not what pains await me, as I am so happy, and in a few months I shall be quite well, a blooming maiden.'

a1c10l02p01

❡

jetzt ist es Lili , die schreibt. Ich sitze in meinem Bett in Seidenhemd mit Spitzen, frisiert, gepudert, mit Armband, Halskette, Ringen. Sogar mein feierlicher Professor nennt mich Lili , und alle machen mir wegen meines Aussehens Komplimente, aber ich sehe noch müde aus nach der Operation und den fürchterlichen Nächten danach. Grete ist gekommen. Sie war ausgegangen, um mir einen warmen Mantel zu kaufen, damit ich in der nächsten Woche nach Dresden fahren kann. Die Operation, die hier vorgenommen worden ist, erlaubt mir, in die Klinik für Frauen (ausschließlich für Frauen) zu kommen. Und jetzt fühle ich Mut zu der großen Operation. Der Professor sagt, ich hätte so gutes frisches Fleisch zum Dreinschneiden . . . Tausend Dank für den Scheck . . . Wenn wir nach Dresden gereist sind, werden alle Briefe nachgeschickt . . . Jetzt sage ich mit dem größten Leichtsinn: gleichgültig, was für Schmerzen meiner warten. Denn ich bin so glücklich, und in wenigen Monaten werde ich ganz gesund sein, ein frisches Mädel. Ich umarme Dich und die Schwester .

g1c10l02p01

Your Lili ."

a1c10l02fa

❡

Eure Lili .

g1c10l02fa

"P.S.—I write this letter in great secrecy. Mention the matter to no one."

a1c10l02fb

❡

Im größten Geheimnis schrieb ich diesen Brief! Sprich zu niemand davon!«

g1c10l02fb

It was wintry weather in Berlin when some days later Lili , muffled up in her new fur coat, was

allowed to leave the nursing-home for a few hours for the first time. The Professor had "prescribed" for her an automobile drive.

Regularized form: "

You must prepare every day now for the long journey to Dresden ," he explained. "Get some fresh air, mix with people, gather new strength."

a1c10p024

Es war noch richtiges Winterwetter in Berlin , als Lili einige Tage später, in ihren neuen, allerersten Pelz vermummt, zum ersten Mal die Klinik für einige Stunden verlassen durfte. Der Professor hatte ihr eine Autofahrt "verordnet". - "Wir müssen uns nun jeden neuen Tag für die grosse Reise nach D. vorbereiten, Gnädigste, "erklärte er," etwas Luft schnappen, unter Menschen kommen, neue Kräfte sammeln."

tsc10p028

It was still winter weather in Berlin when Lili was first allowed to leave the clinic for a few hours, wrapped in her new, very first fur. The doctor had "prescribed" a car ride for her. – "We have to prepare for the long journey to D. now, my dear," he explained, "get some air, walk among people, gather your strength."

ts-trc10p028

Det var endnu Vintervejr i Berlin , da Lili nogle Dage senere, svøbt i sin første, nye Pels, fik Lov til at forlade Kliniken et Par Timer. Overlægen havde foreskrevet en Køretur.

d1c12p034

— Vi maa jo øve os til den store Rejse til Dresden , erklærede han, vi maa have lidt frisk Luft, vise os iblandt Mennesker, samle Kræfter.

d1c12p035

It was still winter in Berlin when Lili a few days later, wrapped in her first new fur coat, was permitted to leave the clinic for a couple of hours. The senior physician had prescribed a drive.

d1-trc12p034

"We must practice for the great journey to Dresden ," he declared, "we must have a little fresh air, show ourselves among people, gather strength."

d1-trc12p035

Es war Winterwetter in Berlin , als Lili einige Tage später, in ihren neuen Pelz vermummt, zum erstenmal die Klinik für einige Stunden verlassen durfte. Der Professor hatte ihr eine Autofahrt »verordnet«. – »Wir müssen uns nun jeden neuen Tag für die große Reise nach Dresden vorbereiten, Gnädigste«, erklärte er, »etwas Luft schnappen, unter Menschen kommen, neue Kräfte sammeln.«

g1c10p025

Mix with people. . . . At these words Lili listened attentively. A secret fear assailed her. She did not, however, betray her feelings. Niels and Inger came to fetch her away with Grete , who did not stir from her side.

a1c10p025

Unter Menschen kommen ... Bei diesen Worten horchte Lili auf. Eine heimliche Furcht befiel sie. Sie liess sich aber nichts anmerken. Niels und Inger holte n sie mit ~~Gerda~~ Grete , die nicht von ihrer Seite wich, ab.

tsc10p029

Walk among people ... Those words made Lili listen up. A secret fear came over her. But she didn't let anyone notice. Niels and Inger fetched her with Grete

Note: Gerda is crossed out here and Grete added in ink.

, who did not stray from her side.

ts-trc10p029

»Blandt Mennesker« ... Disse Ord fik Lili til at lytte. Hun blev grebet af en hemmelig Frygt, men hun lod ikke de andre mærke den ...... Niels og Inger hentede hende ...... og Grete veg ikke fra hendes Side.

d1c12p036

"Among people" ... These words made Lili listen. She was seized by a secret fear, but she did not let the others feel it ...... Niels and Inger picked her up ...... and Grete never left her side.

d1-trc12p036

Unter Menschen kommen . . . Bei diesen Worten horchte Lili auf. Eine heimliche Furcht befiel sie. Sie ließ sich aber nichts anmerken. Niels und Inger holten sie mit Grete , die nicht von ihrer Seite wich, ab.

g1c10p026

When Lili was outside the nursing-home , firmly supported by Niels ' arm, she was again overcome with fear. She looked as apprehensive as a prisoner breathing fresh air for the first time after a long spell of captivity. She glanced about her timidly, as if she feared that everything around her was a deception.

a1c10p026

Als Lili vor der Klinik stand, matt auf Niels ' Arm gestützt, war die Furcht aufs neue da ... Ängstlich, ~~scheu~~ zag , wie eine Gefangene, die nach ewig langer Haft ~~befangen~~ zum erstenmal wieder die blaue, ~~gute~~ helle Luft der Freiheit einatmet, sah sie aus, ~~blickte sich scheu um~~ scheu

sich umblickend, als fürchte sie, dass alles um sie herum nur ein Trug sei.

tsc10p030

When Lili was standing in front of the clinic , leaning heavily on Niels ' arm, the fear returned anew ... She looked fearful, shy, timid like a prisoner who after an eternity of imprisonment inhales the blue, good, bright air of freedom again,

looked around shyly, as if she was afraid that everything going around her was just an illusion.

ts-trc10p030

Da Lili stod foran Kliniken , mat og støttet til Niels ' Arm, var Frygten igen over hende. Hun følte sig forskræmt som en Fange, der fra Fængslet atter lukkes ud til Friheden under den stærke, blaa Himmel ...... Hun saa sig omkring, som om hun var bange for, at alt om hende kun var et Bedrag, og hun betænkte sig paa at gaa frem.

d1c12p037

When Lili stood in front of the clinic , weak and supported by Niels ' arm, the fear came over her again. She felt frightened like a prisoner who is newly released to freedom under the bright, blue sky ...... She looked around as if she were afraid that everything around her was only a delusion, and she hesitated to step forward.

d1-trc12p037

Als Lili vor der Klinik stand, matt auf Niels ' Arm gestützt, war die Furcht aufs neue da . . . Ängstlich, zag wie eine Gefangene, die nach langer Haft zum erstenmal wieder die helle Luft der Freiheit einatmet, sah sie aus, scheu sich umblickend, als fürchte sie, daß alles um sie herum nur ein Trug sei.

g1c10p027

She hesitated to proceed.

a1c10p027

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

tsc10p031

She hesitated to move on.

ts-trc10p031

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

g1c10p028

"Come now, child," said Grete softly to her.

a1c10p028

"Komm nun, Kind," sprach Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

leise zu ihr.

tsc10p032

"Come on, child," Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

said to her, quietly.

ts-trc10p032

— Kom nu. Barn, hviskede Grete sagte til hende.

d1c12p038

"Come on, child," Grete whispered to her softly.

d1-trc12p038

»Komm nun, Kind«, sprach Grete leise zu ihr.

g1c10p029

"She is proud," laughed Niels , "and, of course, wants to go alone."

a1c10p029

"Sie ist hochmütig," lachte Niels , "sie will natürlich allein gehen."

tsc10p033

"She is haughty," laughed Niels , "she wants to go by herself."

ts-trc10p033

— Hun er vigtig, hun vil gaa alene, sagde Niels .

d1c12p039

"She is conceited, she wants to walk alone," Niels said.

d1-trc12p039

»Sie ist hochmütig«, lachte Niels , »sie will natürlich allein gehen.«

g1c10p030

"No, no," protested Lili in a frightened voice, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment more. I must just taste this air once more. This air . . ."

a1c10p030

"Nein, nein," sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, "mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muss die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft ..."

tsc10p034

"No, no," Lili 's words came very frightened, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment. I have to first taste the air again. This air ..."

ts-trc10p034

— Nej, nej, udbrød Lili forskrækket. Du maa ikke slippe mig I maa ikke lade mig staa alene ...... Jeg ...... jeg vilde bare trække Vejret et Øjeblik, det er saa længe siden, jeg har indaandet den friske Luft.

d1c12p040

"No, no," Lili exclaimed alarmed, "you mustn't let me go ...... Don't let me stand alone ...... I ...... I just wanted to breathe for a moment, it's been so long since I've breathed in the fresh air."

d1-trc12p040

»Nein, nein«, sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, »mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muß die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft . . .«

g1c10p031

When Lili was sitting in the car, huddled close to Grete , she closed her eyes. "Don't bother about me. I must first get accustomed to all this."

a1c10p031

Als Lili , eng an Gerda geschmiegt, im Wagen sass, schloss sie lange, lange die Augen. "Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muss mich erst wieder an alldas gewöhnen ... an alldas ... alldas ..."

tsc10p035

When Lili was sitting in the car, snuggled up closely to Gerda , she closed her eyes for a long, long time. "Don't care about me. I have to get used to all of this again ... all of this ... all of this ..."

ts-trc10p035

Da Lili sad i Vognen, krøb hun tæt ind til Grete og lukkede længe Øjnene:

d1c12p041

— Bryd Jer bare ikke om mig ...... jeg maa først vænne mig til det altsammen ......det altsammen.

d1c12p042

When Lili was in the car, she huddled up against Grete and closed her eyes for a long time:

d1-trc12p041

"Don't mind me ...... I must get used to it all first ...... all of it."

d1-trc12p042

Als Lili , eng an Grete geschmiegt, im Wagen saß, schloß sie die Augen. »Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muß mich erst wieder an all das gewöhnen . . .«

g1c10p032

And thus she drove through the roaring life of the Kurfurstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent and self-absorbed.

a1c10p032

Und so fuhr sie wie eine Blinde durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, verschlossen, in sich verriegelt ...

tsc10p036

And so she drove through the roaring life of Kurfürstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent, closed up, self-absorbed ...

ts-trc10p036

Og som en Blind kørte hun gennem Kurfürstendamm s brusende Liv, som en Søvngængerske, tavs og indesluttet i sig selv ......

d1c12p043

And like a blind person she drove through the roaring bustle of Kurfürstendamm , like a sleep walker, silent and withdrawn......

d1-trc12p043

Und so fuhr sie durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, in sich verriegelt . . .

g1c10p033

The drive lasted two hours, and then Grete put the tired invalid to bed again. She was scarcely able to peck at the food that was brought her

before she fell into a deep slumber, which lasted until the following morning.

a1c10p033

Zwei Stunden währte die Fahrt. Dann brachte Gerda die Müde wieder in ihr Krankenbett. Kaum, dass sie von den herbeigeschafften Speisen ein wenig genippt hatte, war sie ~~scho~~ eingeschlummert. Bis in den nächsten Morgen währte der Schlaf.

tsc10p037

The ride took two hours. Then Gerda returned the tired one to her hospital bed. No sooner had she picked a little at the meal brought in, than she dozed off. The sleep lasted until the next morning.

ts-trc10p037

To Timer varede Turen ...... Saa bragte Grete den dødtrætte Patient tilbage til Sygesengen ...... Lili havde knapt nippet til Maden, der blev sat ind til hende, førend hun faldt i Søvn, en Søvn, der varede til næste Morgen.

d1c12p044

The trip lasted two hours ...... Then Grete brought the exhausted patient back to the sick bed ...... Lili had barely picked at the food that was brought to her before she fell asleep, a sleep that lasted until the next morning.

d1-trc12p044

Zwei Stunden währte die Fahrt. Dann brachte Grete die Müde wieder in ihr Bett. Kaum, daß sie von den herbeigeschafften Speisen ein wenig genippt hatte, war sie eingeschlummert. Bis in den nächsten Morgen.

g1c10p034

About noon Niels called for them both. Lili was in much better spirits. "I shall not bore you to-day, nor myself. I am really anxious to see people."

a1c10p034

Gegen Mittag holte Niels sie beide wieder ab. Lili war schon viel beherzter geworden. "So, heute will ich euch nicht langweilen. Auch mich nicht. Jch habe sogar ordentlich Hunger - auf Menschen ..."

tsc10p038

Niels picked the two of them up again around noon. Lili had already gotten much more spirited. "So, today I don't want to bore you. Not myself either. I even have a healthy appetite – for people ..."

ts-trc10p038

Om Eftermiddagen hentede Niels dem igen. Lili var allerede meget mere behersket.

d1c12p045

— I Dag skal jeg ikke blive saa kedelig, sagde hun, jeg længes ovenikøbet efter Mennesker.

d1c12p046

In the afternoon Niels picked them up again. Lili was already much more composed.

d1-trc12p045

"Today I won't be so boring," she said, "I even long for people."

d1-trc12p046

Gegen Mittag holte Niels sie beide wieder ab. Lili war schon viel beherzter geworden. »So, heute will ich euch nicht langweilen. Auch mich nicht. Ich habe sogar ordentlich Hunger auf – Menschen . . .«

g1c10p035

"Aren't we such?" inquired Niels , amused.

a1c10p035

"Sind wir etwa keine?" fragte belustigt Niels .

tsc10p039

"Are we not?" Niels asked, amused.

ts-trc10p039

— Er vi ikke Mennesker? spurgte Niels spøgende.

d1c12p047

"Aren't we people?" Niels asked jokingly.

d1-trc12p047

»Sind wir etwa keine?« fragte belustigt Niels .

g1c10p036

"But I mean strange people—yes, I want to see strange people again."

a1c10p036

"Doch, aber fremde Menschen ... ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen."

tsc10p040

"Yes, but for strange people ... yes, to see strange people once more."

ts-trc10p040

— Jo, men efter fremmede Mennesker ...... ja, jeg vil gerne en Gang igen se et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p048

"Yes, but for strangers ...... yes, I would like to once again see a stranger."

d1-trc12p048

»Doch, aber fremde Menschen . . . ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen.«

g1c10p037

"A brilliant suggestion," declared Niels , who resolved that they should dine with him, in order to celebrate the occasion. He stopped the car mysteriously outside a telephone-box and descended. He wanted to inform Inger of his intention. And wearing a still more mysterious expression he returned.

a1c10p037

"Ausgezeichnet, glänzender Vorschlag, meine Gnädigste", - und jetzt entschied Niels , dass bei ihm "diniert" werden sollte, zur "Feier des Tages". Geheimnisvoll liess er vor einem Telefonkiosk den Wagen halten, stieg aus, - er wolle Inger nur verständigen. Und mit noch geheimnisvolllerer Miene kehrte er zurück.

tsc10p041

"Excellent, great suggestion, my dearest," - and now Niels decided that they should "dine" at his place "to mark the occasion." Mysteriously he had the car stop in front of a phone booth, got out, - he just wanted to let Inger know. And he returned with an even more mysterious expression.

ts-trc10p041

— Udmærket, en glimrende Idé, sagde Niels , og fortalte, at de skulde spise til Middag hjemme hos ham og Inger for at fejre Dagen.

d1c12p049

Han lod Vognen holde ved en Telefonkiosk og steg ud. Han vilde blot lade Inger vide, at de var paa Vej, sagde han, da han med en meget hemmelighedsfuld Mine vendte tilbage.

d1c12p050

"Very good, an excellent idea," Niels said, and told them that they were to dine at home with him and Inger to celebrate the day.

d1-trc12p049

He stopped the car at a phone booth and got out. He just wanted to let Inger know that they were on their way, he said, when he returned with a very mysterious air.

d1-trc12p050

»Ausgezeichnet, glänzender Vorschlag, meine Gnädigste« – und jetzt entschied Niels , daß bei ihm »diniert« werden sollte, zur »Feier des Tages«. Geheimnisvoll ließ er vor einem Telefonkiosk halten, stieg aus – er wolle nur Inger verständigen. Und mit noch geheimnisvollerer Miene kehrte er zurück.

g1c10p038

In a quarter of an hour they reached their destination. Inger was waiting for the party on the doorstep. She pressed a big bunch of roses into Lili 's arms. "Be brave, Lili . Now you will find what you are longing for." And then they divulged to her that in the flat was a young lady from Copenhagen , who knew neither Lili nor Grete , nor— Andreas , and to whom they had announced the visit of "a Frenchwoman imported direct from Paris ."

a1c10p038

In einer viertel Stunde war man angelangt. Inger empfing die Freundinnen draussen vor der Korridortür. Einen grossen Strauss herrlichster Rosen drückte sie Lili in die Arme. "So, nun tapfer sein, Lilikind , jetzt findest du alles, was dein Herz begehrt." - Und dann wurde ihr eröffnet, dass drinnen eine - junge Dame aus Kopenhagen , die weder Lili noch Gerda noch - Andreas kannte, der man den Besuoh einer "gerade aus Paris importierten Französin" angekündigt habe.

tsc10p042

They arrived within fifteen minutes. Inger received the friends outside the door. She pressed a big bouquet of the most magnificent roses into Lili 's arms. "Now, be brave

Lili child

Regularized form: Lilikind

, now you will find everything your heart desires." – and she was informed that a there was a young lady from Copenhagen waiting inside, who knew neither Lili nor Gerda nor – Andreas , who had been told of "a French woman just imported from Paris ."

ts-trc10p042

Inger aabnede Entrédøren for dem og rakte Lili en stor Buket Roser.

d1c12p051

— Saa, nu bare tapper, Lilichen , sagde hun. Du skal faa alt, hvad dit Hjerte kan begære ...... ogsaa et fremmed Menneske ...... en ung Københavnerinde . Det var hende, Niels telefonerede efter, for at hun kunde træffe »en af vore franske Veninder, der lige er kommet fra Paris «. Du skal ikke være bange, hun kender Dig ikke.

d1c12p052

Inger opened the front door for them and handed Lili a large bouquet of roses.

d1-trc12p051

"There, now just be brave, Lilichen ," she said, "you'll have everything your heart desires ...... also a stranger ...... a young woman from Copenhagen ." It was her Niels had telephoned so that she could meet "one of our French friends who just arrived from Paris ." "Don't be afraid, she doesn't know you."

d1-trc12p052

In einer Viertelstunde war man angelangt. Inger empfing die Freundinnen draußen vor der Korridortür. Einen großen Strauß Rosen drückte sie Lili in die Arme. »So, nun tapfer sein, Lili , jetzt findest du alles, was dein Herz begehrt.« – Und dann wurde ihr eröffnet, daß drinnen eine – junge Dame aus Kopenhagen sei, die weder Lili noch Grete noch – Andreas kannte, der man den Besuch einer »gerade aus Paris importierten Fransözin« angekündigt habe.

g1c10p039

"For heaven's sake!" cried Lili , almost beside herself.

a1c10p039

"Um Himmels willen," rief fast ausser sich Lili .

tsc10p043

"Good heavens," Lili cried out, almost besides herself.

ts-trc10p043

— For Guds Skyld, sagde Lili , og hun veg tilbage.

d1c12p053

"For God's sake," said Lili and she shrank back.

d1-trc12p053

»Um Himmels willen«, rief fast außer sich Lili .

g1c10p040

"No contradiction. You must now play the imported Parisienne," declared Inger . "My friend has been told that you understand neither German nor Danish. And she does not understand a word of French. I have told her that you have just had a serious illness, and are still a long way from

recovery. You understand neither German nor Danish." Niels had already taken the reluctant Lili by the arm: "Go right in, my dear," he ordered, and before she could recover her equilibrium, Lili was sitting in the deep armchair of his study, the same armchair in which Andreas Sparre a few weeks before had confessed the story of his life during the greater part of a night.

a1c10p040

"Keine Widerrede. Du hast jetzt die "importierte Pariserin" zu

spielen," erklärte Inger , " meine Freundin weiss, dass du weder deutsch noch dänisch verstehst. Und sie versteht keinen Muck französich. Ich hab ihr gesagt, dass du eine schwere Krankheit durchgemacht hast und noch sehr erholungsbedürftig seist. Also nun keine Dummheiten gemacht. Du verstehst weder deutsch noch ~~französisch~~ dänisch !" Und schon hatte Niels die Widerstrebende beim Arm genommen. "Hereinspaziert, meine Lieben!" kommandierte er, und ehe sie noch recht zur Besinnung kam, sass Lili mit ihrem Rosenstrauss in dem weichen, tiefen Sessel seines Arbeitszimmers, in dem vor kaum drei Wochen eine ganze, tiefe, ehrliche Nacht hindurch Andreas Sparre die wirre Wanderung seines Lebens ihm hingebeichtet hatte ...

tsc10p044

"Don't argue now. You have to play the "imported Parisienne"

now," Inger explained, " my friend knows that you know neither German nor Danish. And she does not understand a lick of French. I told her you endured a bad illness and are in bad need of rest. Now no foolishness. You neither understand German nor Danish!" And already Niels had grabbed the reluctant one by the arm. "Come in my hearties!" he commanded, and before she had a chance to gather her senses, Lili with her bouquet of roses was sitting down on the soft, deep armchair of his study, in which Andreas Sparre had confessed to him the odd wanderings of his life just three weeks earlier ...

ts-trc10p044

— Ingen Vrøvl, nu har Du at spille fransk, erklærede Inger , hun ved, at Du hverken kan Dansk eller Tysk, og hun selv forstaar ikke et Ord Fransk ...... Jeg har fortalt hende, at Du lige har gennemgaaet en alvorlig Sygdom, og at Du endnu er meget svag. Gør nu ingen Dumheder, Du har godt af at øve Dig ...... og husk, Du forstaar ikke, hvad vi siger.

d1c12p054

Niels tog Lili i Armen og trak hende rask ind i Dagligstuen. Inden hun var kommet til Besindelse, sad hun med sin store Rosenbuket i en dyb, blød Lænestol, den samme Stol, hvori Andreas Sparre for knapt tre Uger siden havde tilbragt hele Natten med at skrifte for sine Venner.

d1c12p055

"No nonsense, you'll have to play French," Inger declared, "she knows that you speak neither Danish nor German and she herself does not understand a word of French ...... I have told her that you have just been through a serious illness and that you are still very weak. Don't make any nonsense, practicing will do you good ...... and remember, you don't understand what we say."

d1-trc12p054

Niels took Lili 's arm and quickly pulled her into the living room. Before she had come to her senses she sat with her large bouquet of roses in a deep, soft armchair, the same chair in which Andreas Sparre had spent all night confessing to his friends barely three weeks ago.

d1-trc12p055

»Keine Widerrede. Du hast jetzt die ‚importierte Pariserin' zu spielen«, erklärte Inger , »meine Freundin weiß, daß du weder deutsch noch dänisch verstehst. Und sie versteht kein Wort französisch. Ich hab ihr gesagt, daß du eine schwere Krankheit durchgemacht hast und noch sehr erholungsbedürftig seist. Du verstehst weder deutsch noch dänisch.« Und schon hatte Niels die Widerstrebende beim Arm genommen. »Hereinspaziert, meine Lieben!« kommandierte er, und ehe sie noch recht zur Besinnung kam, saß Lili in dem weichen, tiefen Sessel seines Arbeitszimmers, in dem vor ein paar Wochen eine Nacht hindurch Andreas Sparre die Wanderung seines Lebens ihm hingebeichtet hatte . . .

g1c10p041

❡

"Durchhalten, durchhalten," flüsterte Grete ihr ins Ohr.

tsc10p045

"Keep it up, keep it up," Grete whispered in her ear.

ts-trc10p045

— Hold nu bare ud! hviskede Inger til hende.

d1c12p056

"Just stick to it!" Inger whispered to her.

d1-trc12p056

❡

"Gut, gut, du Gute," antwortete Lili , "ich halte durch. Und muss es ja noch lange."

tsc10p046

"Good, good, you good one," Lili replied, "I am keeping it up. And I have to for a long time..."

ts-trc10p046

— Ja, Du har Ret, det skal jeg, blot det ikke varer for længe.

d1c12p057

"Yes, you are right, I will, if only it won't last too long."

d1-trc12p057

❡

Then the door opened and Karen Wardal , a young Copenhagen actress, whom Grete and Lili had known for many years, stood in front of Lili . Lili thought that her heart would burst. Her pale cheeks blushed crimson. Yet nobody observed any trace of excitement in her.

a1c10p041

Da öffnet sich die Tür ... eine junge Kopenhagener Schauspielerin , die Gerda und Andreas seit vielen Jahren kannte, stand vor Lili ...

tsc10p047

Lili glaubt, dass ihr das Herz zerspringen muss. Fieberröte schiesst in ihr blasses Gesicht. Nein, ruft sie sich selber zu, nein, nein ...

tsc10p048

Doch niemand merkt ihr auch nur die geringste Erregung an.

tsc10p049

The door opened ... A young actress from Copenhagen who Gerda and Andreas had known for many years stood before Lili ...

ts-trc10p047

Lili believes her heart will shatter now. Feverish red shoots into her pale face. No, she cries out internally, no, no...

ts-trc10p048

But nobody notes even the slightest disturbance in her.

ts-trc10p049

Døren gik op, og en ung, københavnsk Skuespillerinde , som Grete og Andreas for nogle Aar siden havde været sammen med en Aften i København , stod foran Lili ......

d1c12p058

Men ingen lagde Mærke til hendes Bevægelse.

d1c12p060

The door opened and a young actress from Copenhagen with whom Grete and Andreas had spent an evening a few years ago stood in front of Lili ......

d1-trc12p058

But no one noticed her nervousness.

d1-trc12p060

Dann öffnete sich die Tür . . . eine junge Kopenhagener Schauspielerin, Karen Wärdal – die Grete und Andreas seit vielen Jahren kannte, stand vor Lili . . . Lili glaubte, daß ihr das Herz zerspringen müßte. Fieberröte schoß in ihr blasses Gesicht. Doch niemand merkte ihr auch nur die geringste Erregung an.

g1c10p042

"May I introduce," began Inger with a smile, Fräulein Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

— Mademoiselle Julie Stuart ." And then, turning to Grete : "You both know each other already."

a1c10p042

"Darf ich vorstellen," beginnt lächelnd Frau Inger , " Fräulein Karen W. ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." Und dann sich an ~~Gerda~~ Grete wendend: "Ihr beiden kennt euch ja."

tsc10p050

"May I introduce," Miss Inger begins, smiling, " Miss Karen W . ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." And then, turning to Grete

Note: Here again Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

: "But you two know each other."

ts-trc10p050

— Maa jeg have Lov til at forestille, smilede Inger , Frøken Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p061

"May I be permitted to introduce," Inger smiled, " Miss Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p061

»Darf ich vorstellen«, begann lächelnd Frau Inger , » Fräulein Karen Wärdal – Mademoiselle Julie Stuart .« Und dann sich an Grete wendend: »Ihr beiden kennt euch ja.«

g1c10p043

"Of course we do!" cried Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

with enthusiasm. "How is your husband Andreas ?"

a1c10p043

"Aber ja," ruft Karen W. begeistert, "wie geht es Ihrem Gatten Andreas ?" Und ~~Gerda~~ Grete erklärt sogleich, dass es Andreas vorzüglich gehe, dass er leider wegen Arbeitsüberhäufung Paris nicht habe verlassen können ... Lili sitzt da, hört das auf dänisch geführte Gespräch völlig unberührt an, beantwortet jede Frage, die Fräulein Karen auf dänisch stellt und von ~~Gerda~~ Grete oder Inger geschwind ins Französische übertragen wird, im elegantesten Salonfranzösisch ....

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

explains right away, that Andreas was doing excellently, but that due to work piling up he couldn't leave Paris ... Lili sits there, listens to the conversation in Danish completely untouched, answers every question that Miss Karen asks in Danish and which Grete or Inger quickly translate into French, in the most elegant salon French....

ts-trc10p051

— Aah, vi kender allerede hinanden, raabte Skuespillerinden , hvorledes har Deres Mand, Andreas Sparre , det?

d1c12p062

"Oh, we already know each other," the actress cried, "how is your husband, Andreas Sparre ?"

d1-trc12p062

»Aber ja«, rief Karen Wärdal begeistert, »wie geht es Ihrem Gatten Andreas ?« Und Grete erklärte, daß es Andreas vorzüglich gehe, daß er leider wegen Arbeitsüberhäufung Paris nicht habe verlassen können . . . Lili saß dabei, hörte das auf dänisch geführte Gespräch völlig unberührt an, beantwortete jede Frage, die Fräulein Karen auf dänisch stellte und von Grete oder Inger geschwind ins Französische übertragen wurde, im elegantesten Französisch . . .

g1c10p044

And Grete explained that Andreas was very well indeed, but, owing to pressure of work, had been unable to leave Paris . Lili sat still, listened unconcerned at the conversation conducted in Danish, and answered every question which Karen asked in Danish, and which was rapidly translated by Grete or Inger into the most elegant French.

a1c10p044

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

Grete oplyste, at Andreas havde det fortræffeligt, men at han var saa overlæsset med Arbejde, at han maatte blive i Paris ...... Lili sad ganske stille og lod, som om de danske Sætninger slet ikke gjorde Indtryk paa hende. Hvert af Frøken Warren s Spørgsmaal og de andres Svar blev straks hensynsfuldt oversat paa Fransk. Pigen meldte, at Middagen var serveret, og Niels bød ceremonielt Lili Armen og førte hende ind i Spisestuen. Hun opførte sig ganske som en fuldendt Pariserinde, der aldrig i sit Liv har hørt et dansk Ord. Der blev talt Dansk og Fransk mellem hinanden. Frøken Warren udtalte sig uforbeholdent om Lili s bedaarende Paaklædning.

d1c12p063

Grete informed them that Andreas was doing splendidly but that he was so overloaded with work that he had to stay in Paris ...... Lili sat quite still and pretended that the Danish sentences did not make any impression on her. Each of Miss Warren 's questions and the others' responses were at once considerately translated into French. The maid announced that dinner was served, and Niels ceremonially offered Lili his arm and led her into the dining room. She behaved just as a perfect Parisienne who had never in her life heard a word of Danish. Danish and French were spoken alternately. Miss Warren expressed herself unreservedly about Lili 's delightful attire.

d1-trc12p063

g1c10p044

The maid announced dinner. Lili was escorted by Niels into the dining-room. The conversation flowed from one language into another, and Lili behaved like a perfect Parisienne, as if she had never heard a Danish word in her life. She accepted as a matter of course Karen 's compliments upon her "extremely chic Parisian costume"—this time

Niels played the interpreter, and in her delight at this extravagant praise of her attire Lili forgot that her hastily improvised wardrobe was not of Parisian origin at all, but had come from a Berlin costumier.

a1c10p045

Das Mädchen bittet zum Essen. Lili lässt sich von Niels ins Esszimmer geleiten. Die Konversation sprudelt von einer Sprache in die andere spielend dahin, Lili agiert die vollendeste Pariserin, die ~~auch nicht die leiseste Ahnung~~ so tut, als habe sie nie im Leben ein dänisches Wort gehört. Wie eine Selbstverständlichkeit nimmt sie Fräulein Karen s Komplimente über ihr "unerhört schickes Pariser Kostüm" hin, - diesmal spielte Niels den Dolmetsch, und Lili vergass in der Freude

über dieses recht überschwängliche Lob ihres Anzuges, dass ihre flugs besorgte Garderobe durchaus nicht Pariser Ursprungs war, sondern aus einem Berliner Damenatelier stammte.

tsc10p052

The

maid

Regularized form: Mädchen

declares dinner ready. Lili lets Niels guide her to the dining room. The conversation is playfully bubbling from one language to the next, Lili acts as the most complete Parisienne, who pretends, as if she had never in her life heard a single word of Danish before. She accepts Miss Karen 's compliments on her "outrageously fashionable Paris costume" as a matter of course, - this time Niels plays the translator, and Lili forgot over this quite effusive praise

that her wardrobe was not of Parisian origin, but from a Berlin woman's tailor.

ts-trc10p052

d1c12p063

— Man kan straks se, at den Dragt er fra Paris , sagde hun, og Lili havde ondt ved at undertrykke sin Munterhed. Alt, hvad hun havde paa, var for faa Dage siden købt i Berlin ...... Men ikke med en Mine forraadte hun sig, selv om hun mange Gange maatte bide sig i Tungen for ikke at buse ud med en dansk Bemærkning ...... I næsten to Timer varede Middagen, og Stemningen blev ret animeret ...... der blev leet meget, og Lili lo med, saasnart Aarsagen til Latteren blev forklaret hende paa Fransk ......

d1c12p064

d1-trc12p063

"One immediately sees that the costume is from Paris ," she said, and Lili could hardly to suppress her mirth. Everything she was wearing had been bought in Berlin a few days ago ...... But she kept a straight face although she many times had to bite her tongue not to blurt out a remark in Danish ...... The dinner lasted for almost two hours and the atmosphere became quite animated ...... there was a lot of laughter and Lili joined in as soon as the reason for the laughter was explained to her in French ......

d1-trc12p064

Das Mädchen bat zum Essen. Lili ließ sich von Niels ins Eßzimmer geleiten. Die Konversation sprudelte von einer Sprache in die andere spielend dahin, Lili agierte die vollendeste Pariserin, als habe sie nie im Leben ein dänisches Wort gehört. Mit Selbstverständlichkeit nahm sie Fräulein Karen s Komplimente über ihr »unerhört schickes Pariser Kostüm« hin – diesmal spielte Niels den Dolmetsch, und Lili vergaß in der Freude über dieses recht überschwengliche Lob ihres Anzuges, daß ihre schnell besorgte Garderobe durchaus nicht Pariser Ursprungs war, sondern aus einem Berliner Damenatelier stammte.

g1c10p045

She did not betray herself by even a look. True, she was obliged to bite her tongue many times, when she was on the point of suddenly joining in the conversation conducted in Danish. This comedy lasted nearly two hours. There was a good deal of joking in Danish, and Lili did not laugh until the point of the "Danish joke" had been translated to her in French.

a1c10p046

Nicht durch ein Minenspiel verriet sie sich. Wohl musste sie sich manchmal auf die Zunge beissen, um s sich nicht plötzlioh in das auf dänisch geführte Gespräch zu mischen ... Fast zwei Stunden währte diese Komödie. Es wurde viel gelacht ... auf dänisch. Und Lili lachte erst, sobald man ihr den Grund des "dänischen Gelächters" französisch übersetzt hatte ...

tsc10p053

She did not betray herself by one expression. She had to occasionally bite her tongue not to interject herself into the conversation being held in Danish ... This comedy went on for about two hours. There was much laughter ... in Danish. And Lili only laughed when the reason for the "Danish laughter" had been translated into French for her...

ts-trc10p053

d1c12p064

d1-trc12p064

Nicht mit einer Miene verriet sie sich! Wohl mußte sie sich manchmal auf die Zunge beißen, um sich nicht plötzlich in das auf dänisch geführte Gespräch zu mischen . . . Fast zwei Stunden währte diese Komödie. Es wurde viel gelacht . . . auf dänisch. Und Lili lachte erst, sobald man ihr den Grund des »dänischen Gelächters« französisch übersetzt hatte . . .

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Then she could keep it up no longer. She was tired to death, and begged Grete to take her to her hotel .

a1c10p047

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr ... Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Und sie bat Gerda , sie - in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

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Then she was exhausted ... She was tired enough to just fall over. And she asked Gerda

Note: Gerda is not crossed out here.

to accompany her to her hotel .

ts-trc10p054

Men saa kunde hun pludselig ikke mere ...... hun var lige ved at falde om af Mathed ...... og hun bad Grete om at ledsage sig til bage til Hotellet . Smilende tog hun Afsked med Frøken Warren , der lovede hende, at hun næste Gang, de traf hinanden, nok skulde kunde snakke lidt Fransk.

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But then she suddenly was not able to go on ...... she was close to dropping from faintness ...... and she asked Grete to accompany her back to the hotel . With a smile she said goodbye to Miss Warren who promised her that next time they met she would be able to speak a little French.

d1-trc12p065

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr . . . Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Sie bat Grete , sie – in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

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She bade a smiling farewell to Fräulein Karen .

a1c10p048

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

tsc10p055

Smiling she bid Miss Karen farewell.

ts-trc10p055

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

g1c10p048

"The next time we meet I shall murder the French language," the young actress called after her. "Till our next meeting in Paris ; and don't forget, Grete , to give Monsieur Andreas my kind regards."

a1c10p049

"Nächstesmal, sehen wir uns, werde ich auf französisch radebrechen," rief die junge Kopenhagenerin ihr noch nach. "Auf Wiedersehen in Paris ... und Frau ~~Gerda~~ Grete , ja nicht vergessen, Monsieur Andreas von mir zu grüssen ..."

tsc10p056

"Next time we meet, I will try to talk in

badly broken French

Regularized form: auf Französisch radebrechen

," the young Copenhagen woman yelled after her. "To a reunion in Paris ... and Miss Grete

Note: Here Gerda is crossed out again and Grete added in ink.

, don't forget to give Monsieur Andreas my best ..."

ts-trc10p056

d1c12p065

— Og De, Fru Sparre , maa endelig hilse Deres Mand mange Gange fra mig.

d1c12p066

d1-trc12p065

"And you, Mrs. Sparre , please give my warmest regards to your husband."

d1-trc12p066

»Nächstes Mal, sehen wir uns, werde ich auf französisch radebrechen«, rief die junge Kopenhagenerin ihr noch nach. »Auf Wiedersehen in Paris . . . und Frau Grete , nicht vergessen, Monsieur Andreas von mir zu grüßen . . .«

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Niels accompanied Grete and Lili to the nursing-home .

a1c10p050

Niels begleitete sie beide wieder in die Klinik .

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Niels accompanied the two of them back to the clinic .

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Niels fulgte dem begge tilbage til Kliniken.

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Niels drove them back to the clinic.

d1-trc12p067

Niels begleitete die beiden wieder in die Klinik .

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"Well," he said, when they were sitting in the car, "I should not have thought it possible. Now I can believe in miracles!"

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"Nein," sagte er, F als sie im Wagen sassen, "nein, das hätte ich nicht für möglich gehalten. Jetzt glaube ich sogar felsenfest an Wunder." Lili sank müde in sich zusammen. Stumm liess sie sich wieder durch die jetzt aus tausend und abertausend Lichtern funkelnde, dröhnende Riesenstadt fahren. In ihrem Gesicht gab es kein Lächeln. Als si der Wagen vor der Klinik hielt, musste Niels Lili in ihr weisses, n ~~ach~~ von jungem Fliederduft durchwehtes Zimmer tragen. Er trug eine Schlafende. Und erst als sie nach fast zwölfstündigem Schlaf wieder erwachte, erfuhr sie, dass der ferne Claude Lejeune ihr den mattlilafarbenen Frühlingsgruss gesandt hatte. -

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"No," he said when they were sitting in the car, "no, I would not have thought that possible. Now even I unwaveringly believe in miracles." Lili collapsed, exhausted. She let herself be driven in silence through the roaring, giant city , sparkling with thousands and thousands of lights. On her face there was no smile. When the car stopped in front of the clinic , Niels had to carry Lili to her white lilac-scented room. He carried a sleeper. And only as she awoke again after almost twelve hours of sleep did she learn that the distant Claude Lejeune had sent her the muted purple spring greeting. –

ts-trc10p058

— Nej, erklærede han, det havde jeg dog ikke tænkt kunde lade sig gennemføre, nu tror jeg paa Miraklet!

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"No," he declared, "this I would never have thought it possible to carry through, now I believe in miracles!"

d1-trc12p068

»Nein«, sagte er, als sie im Wagen saßen, »das hätte ich nicht für möglich gehalten. Jetzt glaube sogar ich felsenfest an Wunder!«

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Lili sank back utterly exhausted. In silence she let herself be driven again through the roaring city , now twinkling with thousands and thousands of lights. When the car stopped in front of the clinic , Niels had to carry Lili to her room. He bore a sleeping burden.

a1c10p052

tsc10p058

ts-trc10p058

Lili var sunket helt sammen af Træthed. Tavs kørte hun gennem den larmende By , hvor nu alle Lysene var tændte ...... Tusinder og atter Tusinder af elektriske Blus funklede og skinnede. Der var intet Smil paa hendes Ansigt. Da Vognen holdt foran Kliniken, maatte Niels bære hende op paa hendes Værelse. Hun sov ...... hun saa slet ikke den kæmpemæssige Syrenbuket, der stod paa Bordet. Først næste Dag, da hun vaagnede, efter at have sovet omtrent tolv Timer, fik hun at vide, at de skønt duftende, lilla Blomster var en Foraarshilsen fra den fjerne Claude Lejeune ......

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Lili had collapsed completely from fatigue. Silent she rode through the noisy city where all the lights were now on ...... Thousands and thousands of electric lights sparkled and shone. There was no smile on her face. When the car stopped in front of the clinic Niels had to carry her up to her room. She slept ....... She did not see the huge bouquet of lilacs standing on the table. Only the next day when she woke up after having slept about twelve hours did she learn that the sweet smelling purple flowers were a spring greeting from the distant Claude Lejeune ......

d1-trc12p069

Lili sank müde in sich zusammen. Stumm ließ sie sich wieder durch die jetzt aus tausend und aber tausend Lichtern funkelnde, dröhnende Riesenstadt fahren. Als der Wagen vor der Klinik hielt, mußte Niels Lili in ihr Zimmer tragen. Er trug eine Schlafende.

g1c10p052

So ended Lili 's first encounter with a strange person

Regularized form: .

a1c10p053

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem - fremden Menschen.

tsc10p059

That was how Lili 's first encounter with a – strange person went.

ts-trc10p059

Saaledes forløb Lili s første Møde med et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p070

This was how Lili’s first meeting with a stranger passed.

d1-trc12p070

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem – fremden Menschen.

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"And she did not recognize me," she said sadly.

a1c10p054

"Dass sie mich nicht wieder erkannt hat ..." fast wehmütig sagte sie dies.

tsc10p060

"That she did not recognize me..." she said almost melancholically.

ts-trc10p060

— Tænk, at hun ikke kunde kende mig igen, sagde hun næsten vemodigt.

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"Imagine that she was not able to recognise me," she said almost wistfully.

d1-trc12p071

»Daß sie mich nicht wiedererkannt hat . . .« wehmütig sagte sie dies.

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"But, child," answered Grete , smiling, "that ought to make you glad. Lili , my new Lili , does not know anybody in the world yet. You are starting life again."

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"Aber Kind," entgegnete Grete lächelnd, "das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draussen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen ..."

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"But child," Grete countered smiling, "that should make you happy. Lili , I mean my new Lili doesn't know anyone out there yet. You are just starting life again ..."

ts-trc10p061

— Men Barn dog, indvendte Grete smilende, det skal Du netop være glad over ...... der er ingen ...... slet ingen, der kender Lili ...... min nye Lili ...... ude i Verden ...... Du skal jo først begynde paa Livet.

d1c12p072

"But child," Grete objected smiling, "it should make you glad ......there is no one ...... no one at all who knows Lili ...... my new Lili ...... out in the world ...... You are only about to start life."

d1-trc12p072

»Aber Kind«, entgegnete Grete lächelnd, »das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draußen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen . . .«

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It did not yet dawn on Grete that Lili 's melancholy was inspired by fear of having no friends.

a1c10p056

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, dass Lili s ~~Trauer~~ Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war ...

tsc10p062

Grete could not yet understand this morning, that Lili 's melancholy was the fear of having no friends ...

ts-trc10p062

Den Dag kunde Grete endnu ikke forstaa, endnu ikke fatte, at Lili s Vemod var Frygt for ikke at finde Venner.

d1c12p073

That day Grete could not yet understand, not yet comprehend, that Lili 's sadness was the fear of not finding friends.

d1-trc12p073

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, daß Lili s Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war . . .

g1c10p056

TS: Lili Elbe Buch (German Typescript)

Chapter 10

Three days later Grete arrived early in the morning.

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tsc10p001

ts-trc10p001

d1c12p001

d1-trc12p001

Drei Tage später, frühmorgens, traf Grete ein.

g1c10p001

The nurse on duty knew at once who she was.

a1c10p002

Die wachthabende Schwester wusste sofort, wer sie war.

tsc10p002

The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

ts-trc10p002

Den vagthavende Sygeplejerske vidste straks, hvem hun var.

d1c12p002

The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

d1-trc12p002

Die wachthabende Schwester wußte sofort, wer sie war.

g1c10p002

❡

"Ah, Madame, nicht wahr, Madame Sparre ?" begrüsste sie die frühe Besucherin. "Darf ich Sie führen. Sie werden mit Sehnsucht erwartet. Entschuldigen Sie das Durcheinander auf den Korridoren."

tsc10p003

"Ah, Madame, is that right, Madame Sparre ?" she greeted the early visitor. "May I guide you. You are being passionately expected. Please excuse the mess in the corridors."

ts-trc10p003

d1c12p003

"Oh, it's Mrs. Sparre isn't it?" she said ......"let me show you the way ...... You are eagerly expected ...... Please, excuse the disorder here, we haven't yet finished the morning cleaning."

d1-trc12p003

❡

tsc10p004

ts-trc10p004

d1c12p004

Note: Paragraphs 3-4 are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p004

❡

A few moments later she was in the sick-room.

a1c10p003

Ein paar Augenblicke nooh und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

tsc10p005

A few moments and she stood in the hospital room.

ts-trc10p005

Saa stod hun i Sygeværelset.

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Then she was in the sickroom.

d1-trc12p005

Ein paar Augenblicke noch, und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

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❡

tsc10p006

ts-trc10p006

d1c12p006

Note: This paragraph is missing in the American edition.

d1-trc12p006

❡

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tsc10p007

ts-trc10p007

d1c12p007

d1-trc12p007

g1c10p004

❡

Was diese beiden Menschenkinder in dieser Stunde des Wiedersehens empfunden, durchlebt und einander gestanden haben im stummen Verweilen beieinander, vermag kein Wort festzuhalten.

tsc10p008

What these two human children felt, lived through and confessed to each other in this hour of reunion in silent sojourn, no word may capture.

ts-trc10p008

Hvad disse to Mennesker følte ved deres Gensyn, hvad de gennemlevede og sagde hinanden i dette tavse Samvær — det formaar Ord ikke at gengive.

d1c12p008

What these two people felt at their reunion, what they lived through and said to each other during this silent time together – words cannot render.

Note: This paragraph is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p008

❡

Late in the evening, when she was alone with the turmoil of thoughts and sensations that assailed her, Grete wrote the following letter to their friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

a1c10p005

Spät abends, allein mit sich unddem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den fernen, treuen Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

tsc10p009

Late at night, alone with herself and the storm of confusing thoughts and feelings, Grete wrote this letter to the distant, faithful friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

ts-trc10p009

Sent om Aftenen, da Grete var blevet alene med sine forvirrede Tanker og modstridende Følelser, skrev hun følgende Brev til Vennen i Paris , til Claude Lejeune :

d1c12p009

Late in the evening when Grete was alone with her confused thoughts and conflicting emotions she wrote the following letter to her friend in Paris , to Claude Lejeune :

d1-trc12p009

Spät abends, allein mit dem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

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a1c10l01p01

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

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d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

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a1c10l01p02

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p03

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p04

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p05

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

— Er Du ikke vred paa mig, fordi ...... fordi Andreas bedrog Dig for dine skønneste Aar? ......

d1c12l01p02

d1c12l01p03

d1-trc12l01p01

'Are you angry with me because ...... because Andreas robbed you of your most beautiful years? ......'

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d1-trc12l01p03

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

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Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

tsc10p010

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

ts-trc10p010

❡

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

g1c10p006

The next morning— Grete had spent the night

a1c10p007

Am nächsten Morgen, - die Nacht hatte Grete allein in einem Hotel verbracht, - machte die Oberschwester den Vorschlag, noch ein Bett in das Krankenzimmer

zu stellen, damit Grete bis zur Abreise nach Dresden , die in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

tsc10p011

The next morning, - Grete had spent the night alone in a hotel , - the head nurse suggested putting another bed into the

hospital room, so that Grete could stay close to the patient until the departure for Dresden , which would take place within a few days.

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d1c12p010

d1-trc12p010

Note: 8*

in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

g1c10p007

a1c10p008

tsc10p012

"Bitte," mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein entzückendes Seidennegligé hervorgeholt, "ist das nicht goldig?"

tsc10p013

the

Regularized form: dem

patient any more." The nurse did not understand what Grete meant by this and just looked at her, questioning.

ts-trc10p012

"Here," with a quick grip Grete took a delightful silken negligee out of the suitcase, "isn't this lovely?"

ts-trc10p013

— Det var dejligt, svarede Grete taknemligt, tog Sygeplejersken s Haand og trak hende med ind i Sideværelset, der stod ledigt. Hun

hentede hurtigt en Haandkuffert, som hun havde ladet blive staaende i Gangen, aabnede den og hviskede ganske sagte:

d1c12p011

— Kære Søster, nu skal jeg vise Dem noget, og saa taler vi ikke mere om ham .

d1c12p012

Hun tog et henrivende Silkenégligé frem af Kufferten:

d1c12p013

"How nice," Grete answered gratefully, took the nurse 's hand and pulled her into the side room that was vacant. She

quickly fetched a suitcase which she had left standing in the hallway, opened it and whispered softly:

d1-trc12p011

"Dear Sister, let me show you something, and then we will speak no more of him ."

Note: The whisper is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p012

She took a lovely silk négligé out from the suitcase:

d1-trc12p013

g1c10p008

»Bitte«, mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein Seidennegligé hervorgeholt.

g1c10p009

❡

— Er det ikke bedaarende?

d1c12p014

"Isn't it beautiful?"

d1-trc12p014

❡

"How becoming you will look in it, madam!"

a1c10p009

"Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!"

tsc10p014

"How well that will look on you, ma'am!"

ts-trc10p014

— Jo, det vil klæde Dem henrivende, naadige Frue.

d1c12p015

"Yes, it will become you wonderfully, madam."

d1-trc12p015

»Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!«

g1c10p010

"I? No, Nurse ; it is a present from our Parisian friend for our—patient inside. But not a word, please, until to-morrow morning!"

a1c10p010

tsc10p015

ts-trc10p015

d1c12p016

d1-trc12p016

»Mich? . . . Nein, Schwesterchen , das ist ein Geschenk von unserer Pariser Freundin für unsere – Patientin da drinnen! – Aber bitte, nichts verraten – vor morgen früh!«

g1c10p011

a1c10p011

tsc10p016

your astonished environment

Regularized form: Ihrer erstaunten Um-welt

! But please, just here in this room! We can't risk any more than that!"

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d1c12p018

d1-trc12p017

d1-trc12p018

g1c10p012

One nurse after another rustled in. Their astonishment was unbounded.

a1c10p012

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen. " Fräulein Lili ," sagte die Oberschwester und nahm das bleiche, bebende Geschöpf mütterlich in die Arme.

tsc10p017

One nurse after the other rushed inside. Endless astonishment with all of them. " Miss Lili ," the head nurse said and enfolded the pale, quaking creature motherly in her arms.

ts-trc10p017

Flere af Sygeplejerskerne gjorde sig i Dagens Løb Ærinde ind i Sygeværelset, og Oversygeplejersken tog Lili moderligt i sine Arme og hviskede:

d1c12p019

Several of the nurses found a pretext for going into the sick room during the day and the head nurse maternally took Lili in her arms and whispered:

d1-trc12p019

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen.

g1c10p013

❡

— Nu skal De bare være tapper!

d1c12p020

"Now you just have to be brave!"

Note: The Matron's embrace and whisper are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p020

❡

a1c10p013

tsc10p018

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d1c12p021

— God Aften, Mademoiselle, jeg ser, at det stadig gaar udmærket!

d1c12p022

d1-trc12p021

"Good evening, Mademoiselle, I see that you are still doing well!"

d1-trc12p022

g1c10p014

Then he noticed Grete for the first time. "Ah, madam, welcome."

a1c10p014

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . "Ah, Madame, willkommen."

tsc10p019

Only then did he noticed Grete . "Ah, Madame, welcome."

ts-trc10p019

Saa først fik han Øje paa Grete :

d1c12p023

Only then did he see Grete :

d1-trc12p023

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . »Ah, Madame, willkommen.«

g1c10p015

❡

— Jeg beder undskylde ......

d1c12p024

"I apologize ....."

d1-trc12p024

❡

For a moment the Professor and Grete confronted each other mutely, not without suppressed emotions.

a1c10p015

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

tsc10p020

For a moment the Professor and Grete stood there, facing each other in silence not without restrained shock.

ts-trc10p020

Et Øjeblik stod Grete og Overlægen og saa paa hinanden med tilbageholdt Sindsbevægelse. Saa sagde Lægen med en godmodig Latter:

d1c12p027

For a moment Grete and the doctor looked at each other with restrained emotion. Then the doctor said with a good-natured laugh:

d1-trc12p027

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

g1c10p016

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor , this is Madame Grete , who . . ."

a1c10p016

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. "Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die ..."

tsc10p021

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor, this is Madame Grete , who ..."

ts-trc10p021

Lili skyndte sig at forestille:

d1c12p025

— Det er min ...... det er Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p026

Lili hastened to introduce:

d1-trc12p025

"This is my ...... this is Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p026

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. »Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die . . .«

g1c10p017

a1c10p017

tsc10p022

ts-trc10p022

— Ja, jeg ved jo, at De var gift med den forsvundne Andreas Sparre .

Men hvad skal man sige til det? Mænd er nu engang troløse ...... man ved aldrig, hvor man har dem.

d1c12p028

"Yes, I know that you were married to the missing Andreas Sparre .

But what can one say? Men are faithless ...... you never know where you are with them."

d1-trc12p028

g1c10p018

a1c10p018

tsc10p023

ts-trc10p023

d1c12p029

It was as if Lili in the first days

Note: The American edition has "her first Berlin days"

d1-trc12p029

g1c10p019

"We must leave her in peace," Grete would then say to them in confidence. "She is resting. She is in a kind of transition. She is now getting ready to soar into freedom."

a1c10p019

tsc10p024

"We have to leave her in peace," Grete said to them, secretly. She is recovering. It is all just a kind of transition. The big, liberating upswing is still only preparing within her."

ts-trc10p024

— Vi maa lade hende være i Fred, sagde Grete til Inger og Niels , hun hviler ud i sig selv ...... det er altsammen kun en Overgang ...... Forberedelsen til hendes Væsens frie Udfoldelse.

d1c12p030

"We must leave her alone," Grete said to Inger and Niels , "she is resting within herself ...... it is all just a passing phase ......the preparation of the free development of her nature."

d1-trc12p030

g1c10p020

a1c10p020

tsc10p025

ts-trc10p025

d1c12p031

d1-trc12p031

g1c10p021

Here is a leaf from the diary that she started:

a1c10p021

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

tsc10p026

Here is a page of this newly begun diary:

ts-trc10p026

Her er en enkelt Side af denne Dagbog:

d1c12p032

Here is a single page of this diary:

d1-trc12p032

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

g1c10p022

" Lili bears everything with incredible patience. True, she whimpers every morning, and even

when her bandages are changed, when fasteners must be undone and done up, and when the still fresh scars are painted.

a1c10d01p01

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

a1c10d01p02

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

Here is another entry:

a1c10p022

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

tsc10p027

Here another entry:

ts-trc10p027

En anden Dag skrev Grete :

d1c12p033

Another day Grete wrote:

d1-trc12p033

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

g1c10p023

yet believe. . . . Or is it that she will not yet show that she believes?"

a1c10d02p01

❡

... »Uden at Lili vidste det, har Inger og jeg truffet Forberedelser til hendes Rejse til Dresden . I Dag var vi i Butiker, og vi kom tilbage til Kliniken med en stor, broget Æske.

d1c12d02p01

— Prøv paa, om Du kan gætte, hvad det er? sagde jeg.

d1c12d02p02

Lili saa paa os og svarede uden et Smil:

d1c12d02p03

— Nej, det kan jeg ikke!

d1c12d02p04

Inger skar Seglgarnet over og trak en dejlig, brun Pels op af Æsken.

d1c12d02p05

— Den er til Dig, Lili , sagde Inger og bredte Pelsen ud foran hende og viste hende det lækre, bløde Silkefoer ......

d1c12d02p06

— Det er sødt af Jer, svarede hun, men tror I, Professor Kreutz vil synes om, at jeg møder i den Paaklædning ...... bare han kan kende mig igen ......

d1c12d02p07

d1c12d02p08

... "Without Lili 's knowledge, Inger and I have made preparations for her journey to Dresden . Today we went shopping, and we returned to the clinic with a big multicoloured box.

d1-trc12d02p01

'Try to guess what this is?' I said.

d1-trc12d02p02

Lili looked at us and replied without a smile:

d1-trc12d02p03

'No, I can't!'

d1-trc12d02p04

Inger cut through the string and pulled a lovely brown fur coat out of the box.

d1-trc12d02p05

'This is for you, Lili ,' Inger said and spread the coat in front of her and showed her the lovely, soft silk lining ......'

d1-trc12d02p06

'That is sweet of you, she answered, but do you think that Professor Kreutz will approve if I make my appearance dressed like that ...... I only hope he can recognise me ......'

d1-trc12d02p07

d1-trc12d02p08

g1c10d02p01

On this day Lili wrote her first letter, to her brother-in-law in Copenhagen .

a1c10p023

❡

An diesem Tag schrieb Lili ihren ersten Brief – an den Schwager in Kopenhagen :

g1c10p024

" Berlin ,

a1c10l02ha

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"14th March, 1930.

a1c10l02hb

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c10l02hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c10l02hb

a1c10l02p01

❡

g1c10l02p01

Your Lili ."

a1c10l02fa

❡

Eure Lili .

g1c10l02fa

"P.S.—I write this letter in great secrecy. Mention the matter to no one."

a1c10l02fb

❡

Im größten Geheimnis schrieb ich diesen Brief! Sprich zu niemand davon!«

g1c10l02fb

It was wintry weather in Berlin when some days later Lili , muffled up in her new fur coat, was

allowed to leave the nursing-home for a few hours for the first time. The Professor had "prescribed" for her an automobile drive.

Regularized form: "

You must prepare every day now for the long journey to Dresden ," he explained. "Get some fresh air, mix with people, gather new strength."

a1c10p024

tsc10p028

ts-trc10p028

Det var endnu Vintervejr i Berlin , da Lili nogle Dage senere, svøbt i sin første, nye Pels, fik Lov til at forlade Kliniken et Par Timer. Overlægen havde foreskrevet en Køretur.

d1c12p034

— Vi maa jo øve os til den store Rejse til Dresden , erklærede han, vi maa have lidt frisk Luft, vise os iblandt Mennesker, samle Kræfter.

d1c12p035

It was still winter in Berlin when Lili a few days later, wrapped in her first new fur coat, was permitted to leave the clinic for a couple of hours. The senior physician had prescribed a drive.

d1-trc12p034

"We must practice for the great journey to Dresden ," he declared, "we must have a little fresh air, show ourselves among people, gather strength."

d1-trc12p035

g1c10p025

a1c10p025

tsc10p029

Walk among people ... Those words made Lili listen up. A secret fear came over her. But she didn't let anyone notice. Niels and Inger fetched her with Grete

Note: Gerda is crossed out here and Grete added in ink.

, who did not stray from her side.

ts-trc10p029

d1c12p036

"Among people" ... These words made Lili listen. She was seized by a secret fear, but she did not let the others feel it ...... Niels and Inger picked her up ...... and Grete never left her side.

d1-trc12p036

g1c10p026

a1c10p026

sich umblickend, als fürchte sie, dass alles um sie herum nur ein Trug sei.

tsc10p030

looked around shyly, as if she was afraid that everything going around her was just an illusion.

ts-trc10p030

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

g1c10p027

She hesitated to proceed.

a1c10p027

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

tsc10p031

She hesitated to move on.

ts-trc10p031

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

g1c10p028

"Come now, child," said Grete softly to her.

a1c10p028

"Komm nun, Kind," sprach Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

leise zu ihr.

tsc10p032

"Come on, child," Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

said to her, quietly.

ts-trc10p032

— Kom nu. Barn, hviskede Grete sagte til hende.

d1c12p038

"Come on, child," Grete whispered to her softly.

d1-trc12p038

»Komm nun, Kind«, sprach Grete leise zu ihr.

g1c10p029

"She is proud," laughed Niels , "and, of course, wants to go alone."

a1c10p029

"Sie ist hochmütig," lachte Niels , "sie will natürlich allein gehen."

tsc10p033

"She is haughty," laughed Niels , "she wants to go by herself."

ts-trc10p033

— Hun er vigtig, hun vil gaa alene, sagde Niels .

d1c12p039

"She is conceited, she wants to walk alone," Niels said.

d1-trc12p039

»Sie ist hochmütig«, lachte Niels , »sie will natürlich allein gehen.«

g1c10p030

"No, no," protested Lili in a frightened voice, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment more. I must just taste this air once more. This air . . ."

a1c10p030

"Nein, nein," sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, "mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muss die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft ..."

tsc10p034

"No, no," Lili 's words came very frightened, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment. I have to first taste the air again. This air ..."

ts-trc10p034

d1c12p040

d1-trc12p040

»Nein, nein«, sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, »mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muß die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft . . .«

g1c10p031

When Lili was sitting in the car, huddled close to Grete , she closed her eyes. "Don't bother about me. I must first get accustomed to all this."

a1c10p031

Als Lili , eng an Gerda geschmiegt, im Wagen sass, schloss sie lange, lange die Augen. "Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muss mich erst wieder an alldas gewöhnen ... an alldas ... alldas ..."

tsc10p035

ts-trc10p035

Da Lili sad i Vognen, krøb hun tæt ind til Grete og lukkede længe Øjnene:

d1c12p041

— Bryd Jer bare ikke om mig ...... jeg maa først vænne mig til det altsammen ......det altsammen.

d1c12p042

When Lili was in the car, she huddled up against Grete and closed her eyes for a long time:

d1-trc12p041

"Don't mind me ...... I must get used to it all first ...... all of it."

d1-trc12p042

Als Lili , eng an Grete geschmiegt, im Wagen saß, schloß sie die Augen. »Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muß mich erst wieder an all das gewöhnen . . .«

g1c10p032

And thus she drove through the roaring life of the Kurfurstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent and self-absorbed.

a1c10p032

Und so fuhr sie wie eine Blinde durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, verschlossen, in sich verriegelt ...

tsc10p036

And so she drove through the roaring life of Kurfürstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent, closed up, self-absorbed ...

ts-trc10p036

Og som en Blind kørte hun gennem Kurfürstendamm s brusende Liv, som en Søvngængerske, tavs og indesluttet i sig selv ......

d1c12p043

And like a blind person she drove through the roaring bustle of Kurfürstendamm , like a sleep walker, silent and withdrawn......

d1-trc12p043

Und so fuhr sie durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, in sich verriegelt . . .

g1c10p033

The drive lasted two hours, and then Grete put the tired invalid to bed again. She was scarcely able to peck at the food that was brought her

before she fell into a deep slumber, which lasted until the following morning.

a1c10p033

tsc10p037

The ride took two hours. Then Gerda returned the tired one to her hospital bed. No sooner had she picked a little at the meal brought in, than she dozed off. The sleep lasted until the next morning.

ts-trc10p037

d1c12p044

d1-trc12p044

g1c10p034

About noon Niels called for them both. Lili was in much better spirits. "I shall not bore you to-day, nor myself. I am really anxious to see people."

a1c10p034

Gegen Mittag holte Niels sie beide wieder ab. Lili war schon viel beherzter geworden. "So, heute will ich euch nicht langweilen. Auch mich nicht. Jch habe sogar ordentlich Hunger - auf Menschen ..."

tsc10p038

ts-trc10p038

Om Eftermiddagen hentede Niels dem igen. Lili var allerede meget mere behersket.

d1c12p045

— I Dag skal jeg ikke blive saa kedelig, sagde hun, jeg længes ovenikøbet efter Mennesker.

d1c12p046

In the afternoon Niels picked them up again. Lili was already much more composed.

d1-trc12p045

"Today I won't be so boring," she said, "I even long for people."

d1-trc12p046

g1c10p035

"Aren't we such?" inquired Niels , amused.

a1c10p035

"Sind wir etwa keine?" fragte belustigt Niels .

tsc10p039

"Are we not?" Niels asked, amused.

ts-trc10p039

— Er vi ikke Mennesker? spurgte Niels spøgende.

d1c12p047

"Aren't we people?" Niels asked jokingly.

d1-trc12p047

»Sind wir etwa keine?« fragte belustigt Niels .

g1c10p036

"But I mean strange people—yes, I want to see strange people again."

a1c10p036

"Doch, aber fremde Menschen ... ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen."

tsc10p040

"Yes, but for strange people ... yes, to see strange people once more."

ts-trc10p040

— Jo, men efter fremmede Mennesker ...... ja, jeg vil gerne en Gang igen se et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p048

"Yes, but for strangers ...... yes, I would like to once again see a stranger."

d1-trc12p048

»Doch, aber fremde Menschen . . . ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen.«

g1c10p037

a1c10p037

tsc10p041

ts-trc10p041

— Udmærket, en glimrende Idé, sagde Niels , og fortalte, at de skulde spise til Middag hjemme hos ham og Inger for at fejre Dagen.

d1c12p049

Han lod Vognen holde ved en Telefonkiosk og steg ud. Han vilde blot lade Inger vide, at de var paa Vej, sagde han, da han med en meget hemmelighedsfuld Mine vendte tilbage.

d1c12p050

"Very good, an excellent idea," Niels said, and told them that they were to dine at home with him and Inger to celebrate the day.

d1-trc12p049

He stopped the car at a phone booth and got out. He just wanted to let Inger know that they were on their way, he said, when he returned with a very mysterious air.

d1-trc12p050

g1c10p038

a1c10p038

tsc10p042

They arrived within fifteen minutes. Inger received the friends outside the door. She pressed a big bouquet of the most magnificent roses into Lili 's arms. "Now, be brave

Lili child

Regularized form: Lilikind

ts-trc10p042

Inger aabnede Entrédøren for dem og rakte Lili en stor Buket Roser.

d1c12p051

d1c12p052

Inger opened the front door for them and handed Lili a large bouquet of roses.

d1-trc12p051

d1-trc12p052

g1c10p039

"For heaven's sake!" cried Lili , almost beside herself.

a1c10p039

"Um Himmels willen," rief fast ausser sich Lili .

tsc10p043

"Good heavens," Lili cried out, almost besides herself.

ts-trc10p043

— For Guds Skyld, sagde Lili , og hun veg tilbage.

d1c12p053

"For God's sake," said Lili and she shrank back.

d1-trc12p053

»Um Himmels willen«, rief fast außer sich Lili .

g1c10p040

a1c10p040

"Keine Widerrede. Du hast jetzt die "importierte Pariserin" zu

tsc10p044

"Don't argue now. You have to play the "imported Parisienne"

ts-trc10p044

d1c12p054

d1c12p055

d1-trc12p054

d1-trc12p055

g1c10p041

❡

"Durchhalten, durchhalten," flüsterte Grete ihr ins Ohr.

tsc10p045

"Keep it up, keep it up," Grete whispered in her ear.

ts-trc10p045

— Hold nu bare ud! hviskede Inger til hende.

d1c12p056

"Just stick to it!" Inger whispered to her.

d1-trc12p056

❡

"Gut, gut, du Gute," antwortete Lili , "ich halte durch. Und muss es ja noch lange."

tsc10p046

"Good, good, you good one," Lili replied, "I am keeping it up. And I have to for a long time..."

ts-trc10p046

— Ja, Du har Ret, det skal jeg, blot det ikke varer for længe.

d1c12p057

"Yes, you are right, I will, if only it won't last too long."

d1-trc12p057

❡

a1c10p041

Da öffnet sich die Tür ... eine junge Kopenhagener Schauspielerin , die Gerda und Andreas seit vielen Jahren kannte, stand vor Lili ...

tsc10p047

Lili glaubt, dass ihr das Herz zerspringen muss. Fieberröte schiesst in ihr blasses Gesicht. Nein, ruft sie sich selber zu, nein, nein ...

tsc10p048

Doch niemand merkt ihr auch nur die geringste Erregung an.

tsc10p049

The door opened ... A young actress from Copenhagen who Gerda and Andreas had known for many years stood before Lili ...

ts-trc10p047

Lili believes her heart will shatter now. Feverish red shoots into her pale face. No, she cries out internally, no, no...

ts-trc10p048

But nobody notes even the slightest disturbance in her.

ts-trc10p049

Døren gik op, og en ung, københavnsk Skuespillerinde , som Grete og Andreas for nogle Aar siden havde været sammen med en Aften i København , stod foran Lili ......

d1c12p058

Men ingen lagde Mærke til hendes Bevægelse.

d1c12p060

The door opened and a young actress from Copenhagen with whom Grete and Andreas had spent an evening a few years ago stood in front of Lili ......

d1-trc12p058

But no one noticed her nervousness.

d1-trc12p060

g1c10p042

"May I introduce," began Inger with a smile, Fräulein Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

— Mademoiselle Julie Stuart ." And then, turning to Grete : "You both know each other already."

a1c10p042

"Darf ich vorstellen," beginnt lächelnd Frau Inger , " Fräulein Karen W. ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." Und dann sich an ~~Gerda~~ Grete wendend: "Ihr beiden kennt euch ja."

tsc10p050

"May I introduce," Miss Inger begins, smiling, " Miss Karen W . ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." And then, turning to Grete

Note: Here again Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

: "But you two know each other."

ts-trc10p050

— Maa jeg have Lov til at forestille, smilede Inger , Frøken Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p061

"May I be permitted to introduce," Inger smiled, " Miss Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p061

»Darf ich vorstellen«, begann lächelnd Frau Inger , » Fräulein Karen Wärdal – Mademoiselle Julie Stuart .« Und dann sich an Grete wendend: »Ihr beiden kennt euch ja.«

g1c10p043

"Of course we do!" cried Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

with enthusiasm. "How is your husband Andreas ?"

a1c10p043

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

— Aah, vi kender allerede hinanden, raabte Skuespillerinden , hvorledes har Deres Mand, Andreas Sparre , det?

d1c12p062

"Oh, we already know each other," the actress cried, "how is your husband, Andreas Sparre ?"

d1-trc12p062

g1c10p044

a1c10p044

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

d1c12p063

d1-trc12p063

g1c10p044

a1c10p045

über dieses recht überschwängliche Lob ihres Anzuges, dass ihre flugs besorgte Garderobe durchaus nicht Pariser Ursprungs war, sondern aus einem Berliner Damenatelier stammte.

tsc10p052

The

maid

Regularized form: Mädchen

that her wardrobe was not of Parisian origin, but from a Berlin woman's tailor.

ts-trc10p052

d1c12p063

d1c12p064

d1-trc12p063

d1-trc12p064

g1c10p045

a1c10p046

tsc10p053

ts-trc10p053

d1c12p064

d1-trc12p064

g1c10p046

Then she could keep it up no longer. She was tired to death, and begged Grete to take her to her hotel .

a1c10p047

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr ... Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Und sie bat Gerda , sie - in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

tsc10p054

Then she was exhausted ... She was tired enough to just fall over. And she asked Gerda

Note: Gerda is not crossed out here.

to accompany her to her hotel .

ts-trc10p054

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr . . . Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Sie bat Grete , sie – in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

g1c10p047

She bade a smiling farewell to Fräulein Karen .

a1c10p048

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

tsc10p055

Smiling she bid Miss Karen farewell.

ts-trc10p055

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

g1c10p048

"The next time we meet I shall murder the French language," the young actress called after her. "Till our next meeting in Paris ; and don't forget, Grete , to give Monsieur Andreas my kind regards."

a1c10p049

tsc10p056

"Next time we meet, I will try to talk in

badly broken French

Regularized form: auf Französisch radebrechen

," the young Copenhagen woman yelled after her. "To a reunion in Paris ... and Miss Grete

Note: Here Gerda is crossed out again and Grete added in ink.

, don't forget to give Monsieur Andreas my best ..."

ts-trc10p056

d1c12p065

— Og De, Fru Sparre , maa endelig hilse Deres Mand mange Gange fra mig.

d1c12p066

d1-trc12p065

"And you, Mrs. Sparre , please give my warmest regards to your husband."

d1-trc12p066

g1c10p049

Niels accompanied Grete and Lili to the nursing-home .

a1c10p050

Niels begleitete sie beide wieder in die Klinik .

tsc10p057

Niels accompanied the two of them back to the clinic .

ts-trc10p057

Niels fulgte dem begge tilbage til Kliniken.

d1c12p067

Niels drove them back to the clinic.

d1-trc12p067

Niels begleitete die beiden wieder in die Klinik .

g1c10p050

"Well," he said, when they were sitting in the car, "I should not have thought it possible. Now I can believe in miracles!"

a1c10p051

tsc10p058

ts-trc10p058

— Nej, erklærede han, det havde jeg dog ikke tænkt kunde lade sig gennemføre, nu tror jeg paa Miraklet!

d1c12p068

"No," he declared, "this I would never have thought it possible to carry through, now I believe in miracles!"

d1-trc12p068

»Nein«, sagte er, als sie im Wagen saßen, »das hätte ich nicht für möglich gehalten. Jetzt glaube sogar ich felsenfest an Wunder!«

g1c10p051

a1c10p052

tsc10p058

ts-trc10p058

d1c12p069

d1-trc12p069

g1c10p052

So ended Lili 's first encounter with a strange person

Regularized form: .

a1c10p053

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem - fremden Menschen.

tsc10p059

That was how Lili 's first encounter with a – strange person went.

ts-trc10p059

Saaledes forløb Lili s første Møde med et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p070

This was how Lili’s first meeting with a stranger passed.

d1-trc12p070

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem – fremden Menschen.

g1c10p053

"And she did not recognize me," she said sadly.

a1c10p054

"Dass sie mich nicht wieder erkannt hat ..." fast wehmütig sagte sie dies.

tsc10p060

"That she did not recognize me..." she said almost melancholically.

ts-trc10p060

— Tænk, at hun ikke kunde kende mig igen, sagde hun næsten vemodigt.

d1c12p071

"Imagine that she was not able to recognise me," she said almost wistfully.

d1-trc12p071

»Daß sie mich nicht wiedererkannt hat . . .« wehmütig sagte sie dies.

g1c10p054

"But, child," answered Grete , smiling, "that ought to make you glad. Lili , my new Lili , does not know anybody in the world yet. You are starting life again."

a1c10p055

"Aber Kind," entgegnete Grete lächelnd, "das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draussen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen ..."

tsc10p061

"But child," Grete countered smiling, "that should make you happy. Lili , I mean my new Lili doesn't know anyone out there yet. You are just starting life again ..."

ts-trc10p061

d1c12p072

d1-trc12p072

»Aber Kind«, entgegnete Grete lächelnd, »das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draußen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen . . .«

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It did not yet dawn on Grete that Lili 's melancholy was inspired by fear of having no friends.

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An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, dass Lili s ~~Trauer~~ Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war ...

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Grete could not yet understand this morning, that Lili 's melancholy was the fear of having no friends ...

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Den Dag kunde Grete endnu ikke forstaa, endnu ikke fatte, at Lili s Vemod var Frygt for ikke at finde Venner.

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That day Grete could not yet understand, not yet comprehend, that Lili 's sadness was the fear of not finding friends.

d1-trc12p073

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, daß Lili s Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war . . .

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TS-TR: Lili Elbe Buch (English Translation of German Transcript)

Chapter 10

Three days later Grete arrived early in the morning.

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Drei Tage später, frühmorgens, traf Grete ein.

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The nurse on duty knew at once who she was.

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Die wachthabende Schwester wusste sofort, wer sie war.

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The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

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Den vagthavende Sygeplejerske vidste straks, hvem hun var.

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The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

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Die wachthabende Schwester wußte sofort, wer sie war.

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❡

"Ah, Madame, nicht wahr, Madame Sparre ?" begrüsste sie die frühe Besucherin. "Darf ich Sie führen. Sie werden mit Sehnsucht erwartet. Entschuldigen Sie das Durcheinander auf den Korridoren."

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"Ah, Madame, is that right, Madame Sparre ?" she greeted the early visitor. "May I guide you. You are being passionately expected. Please excuse the mess in the corridors."

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"Oh, it's Mrs. Sparre isn't it?" she said ......"let me show you the way ...... You are eagerly expected ...... Please, excuse the disorder here, we haven't yet finished the morning cleaning."

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❡

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Note: Paragraphs 3-4 are missing from the American edition.

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❡

A few moments later she was in the sick-room.

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Ein paar Augenblicke nooh und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

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A few moments and she stood in the hospital room.

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Saa stod hun i Sygeværelset.

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Then she was in the sickroom.

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Ein paar Augenblicke noch, und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

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❡

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Note: This paragraph is missing in the American edition.

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❡

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❡

Was diese beiden Menschenkinder in dieser Stunde des Wiedersehens empfunden, durchlebt und einander gestanden haben im stummen Verweilen beieinander, vermag kein Wort festzuhalten.

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What these two human children felt, lived through and confessed to each other in this hour of reunion in silent sojourn, no word may capture.

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Hvad disse to Mennesker følte ved deres Gensyn, hvad de gennemlevede og sagde hinanden i dette tavse Samvær — det formaar Ord ikke at gengive.

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What these two people felt at their reunion, what they lived through and said to each other during this silent time together – words cannot render.

Note: This paragraph is missing from the American edition.

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❡

Late in the evening, when she was alone with the turmoil of thoughts and sensations that assailed her, Grete wrote the following letter to their friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

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Spät abends, allein mit sich unddem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den fernen, treuen Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

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Late at night, alone with herself and the storm of confusing thoughts and feelings, Grete wrote this letter to the distant, faithful friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

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Sent om Aftenen, da Grete var blevet alene med sine forvirrede Tanker og modstridende Følelser, skrev hun følgende Brev til Vennen i Paris , til Claude Lejeune :

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Late in the evening when Grete was alone with her confused thoughts and conflicting emotions she wrote the following letter to her friend in Paris , to Claude Lejeune :

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Spät abends, allein mit dem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

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muss

Regularized form: musst

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a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

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Note: 8 Elbe

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muss

Regularized form: musst

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a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

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Note: 8 Elbe

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muss

Regularized form: musst

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a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

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d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

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muss

Regularized form: musst

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a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

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Note: 8 Elbe

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muss

Regularized form: musst

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a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

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— Er Du ikke vred paa mig, fordi ...... fordi Andreas bedrog Dig for dine skønneste Aar? ......

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'Are you angry with me because ...... because Andreas robbed you of your most beautiful years? ......'

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Note: 8 Elbe

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Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

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Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

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Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

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❡

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

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The next morning— Grete had spent the night

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Am nächsten Morgen, - die Nacht hatte Grete allein in einem Hotel verbracht, - machte die Oberschwester den Vorschlag, noch ein Bett in das Krankenzimmer

zu stellen, damit Grete bis zur Abreise nach Dresden , die in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

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The next morning, - Grete had spent the night alone in a hotel , - the head nurse suggested putting another bed into the

hospital room, so that Grete could stay close to the patient until the departure for Dresden , which would take place within a few days.

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Note: 8*

in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

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"Bitte," mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein entzückendes Seidennegligé hervorgeholt, "ist das nicht goldig?"

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the

Regularized form: dem

patient any more." The nurse did not understand what Grete meant by this and just looked at her, questioning.

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"Here," with a quick grip Grete took a delightful silken negligee out of the suitcase, "isn't this lovely?"

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— Det var dejligt, svarede Grete taknemligt, tog Sygeplejersken s Haand og trak hende med ind i Sideværelset, der stod ledigt. Hun

hentede hurtigt en Haandkuffert, som hun havde ladet blive staaende i Gangen, aabnede den og hviskede ganske sagte:

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— Kære Søster, nu skal jeg vise Dem noget, og saa taler vi ikke mere om ham .

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Hun tog et henrivende Silkenégligé frem af Kufferten:

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"How nice," Grete answered gratefully, took the nurse 's hand and pulled her into the side room that was vacant. She

quickly fetched a suitcase which she had left standing in the hallway, opened it and whispered softly:

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"Dear Sister, let me show you something, and then we will speak no more of him ."

Note: The whisper is missing from the American edition.

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She took a lovely silk négligé out from the suitcase:

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»Bitte«, mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein Seidennegligé hervorgeholt.

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❡

— Er det ikke bedaarende?

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"Isn't it beautiful?"

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❡

"How becoming you will look in it, madam!"

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"Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!"

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"How well that will look on you, ma'am!"

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— Jo, det vil klæde Dem henrivende, naadige Frue.

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"Yes, it will become you wonderfully, madam."

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»Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!«

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"I? No, Nurse ; it is a present from our Parisian friend for our—patient inside. But not a word, please, until to-morrow morning!"

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»Mich? . . . Nein, Schwesterchen , das ist ein Geschenk von unserer Pariser Freundin für unsere – Patientin da drinnen! – Aber bitte, nichts verraten – vor morgen früh!«

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your astonished environment

Regularized form: Ihrer erstaunten Um-welt

! But please, just here in this room! We can't risk any more than that!"

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One nurse after another rustled in. Their astonishment was unbounded.

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Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen. " Fräulein Lili ," sagte die Oberschwester und nahm das bleiche, bebende Geschöpf mütterlich in die Arme.

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One nurse after the other rushed inside. Endless astonishment with all of them. " Miss Lili ," the head nurse said and enfolded the pale, quaking creature motherly in her arms.

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Flere af Sygeplejerskerne gjorde sig i Dagens Løb Ærinde ind i Sygeværelset, og Oversygeplejersken tog Lili moderligt i sine Arme og hviskede:

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Several of the nurses found a pretext for going into the sick room during the day and the head nurse maternally took Lili in her arms and whispered:

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Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen.

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❡

— Nu skal De bare være tapper!

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"Now you just have to be brave!"

Note: The Matron's embrace and whisper are missing from the American edition.

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❡

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— God Aften, Mademoiselle, jeg ser, at det stadig gaar udmærket!

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"Good evening, Mademoiselle, I see that you are still doing well!"

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Then he noticed Grete for the first time. "Ah, madam, welcome."

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Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . "Ah, Madame, willkommen."

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Only then did he noticed Grete . "Ah, Madame, welcome."

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Saa først fik han Øje paa Grete :

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Only then did he see Grete :

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Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . »Ah, Madame, willkommen.«

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❡

— Jeg beder undskylde ......

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"I apologize ....."

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❡

For a moment the Professor and Grete confronted each other mutely, not without suppressed emotions.

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Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

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For a moment the Professor and Grete stood there, facing each other in silence not without restrained shock.

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Et Øjeblik stod Grete og Overlægen og saa paa hinanden med tilbageholdt Sindsbevægelse. Saa sagde Lægen med en godmodig Latter:

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For a moment Grete and the doctor looked at each other with restrained emotion. Then the doctor said with a good-natured laugh:

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Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

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Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor , this is Madame Grete , who . . ."

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Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. "Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die ..."

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Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor, this is Madame Grete , who ..."

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Lili skyndte sig at forestille:

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— Det er min ...... det er Fru Grete Sparre .

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Lili hastened to introduce:

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"This is my ...... this is Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

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Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. »Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die . . .«

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— Ja, jeg ved jo, at De var gift med den forsvundne Andreas Sparre .

Men hvad skal man sige til det? Mænd er nu engang troløse ...... man ved aldrig, hvor man har dem.

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"Yes, I know that you were married to the missing Andreas Sparre .

But what can one say? Men are faithless ...... you never know where you are with them."

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It was as if Lili in the first days

Note: The American edition has "her first Berlin days"

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"We must leave her in peace," Grete would then say to them in confidence. "She is resting. She is in a kind of transition. She is now getting ready to soar into freedom."

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"We have to leave her in peace," Grete said to them, secretly. She is recovering. It is all just a kind of transition. The big, liberating upswing is still only preparing within her."

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— Vi maa lade hende være i Fred, sagde Grete til Inger og Niels , hun hviler ud i sig selv ...... det er altsammen kun en Overgang ...... Forberedelsen til hendes Væsens frie Udfoldelse.

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"We must leave her alone," Grete said to Inger and Niels , "she is resting within herself ...... it is all just a passing phase ......the preparation of the free development of her nature."

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Here is a leaf from the diary that she started:

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Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

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Here is a page of this newly begun diary:

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Her er en enkelt Side af denne Dagbog:

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Here is a single page of this diary:

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Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

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" Lili bears everything with incredible patience. True, she whimpers every morning, and even

when her bandages are changed, when fasteners must be undone and done up, and when the still fresh scars are painted.

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❡

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»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

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❡

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»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

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Here is another entry:

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Hier eine andere Eintragung:

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Here another entry:

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En anden Dag skrev Grete :

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Another day Grete wrote:

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Hier eine andere Eintragung:

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yet believe. . . . Or is it that she will not yet show that she believes?"

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❡

... »Uden at Lili vidste det, har Inger og jeg truffet Forberedelser til hendes Rejse til Dresden . I Dag var vi i Butiker, og vi kom tilbage til Kliniken med en stor, broget Æske.

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— Prøv paa, om Du kan gætte, hvad det er? sagde jeg.

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Lili saa paa os og svarede uden et Smil:

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— Nej, det kan jeg ikke!

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Inger skar Seglgarnet over og trak en dejlig, brun Pels op af Æsken.

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— Den er til Dig, Lili , sagde Inger og bredte Pelsen ud foran hende og viste hende det lækre, bløde Silkefoer ......

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— Det er sødt af Jer, svarede hun, men tror I, Professor Kreutz vil synes om, at jeg møder i den Paaklædning ...... bare han kan kende mig igen ......

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... "Without Lili 's knowledge, Inger and I have made preparations for her journey to Dresden . Today we went shopping, and we returned to the clinic with a big multicoloured box.

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'Try to guess what this is?' I said.

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Lili looked at us and replied without a smile:

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'No, I can't!'

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Inger cut through the string and pulled a lovely brown fur coat out of the box.

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'This is for you, Lili ,' Inger said and spread the coat in front of her and showed her the lovely, soft silk lining ......'

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'That is sweet of you, she answered, but do you think that Professor Kreutz will approve if I make my appearance dressed like that ...... I only hope he can recognise me ......'

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On this day Lili wrote her first letter, to her brother-in-law in Copenhagen .

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❡

An diesem Tag schrieb Lili ihren ersten Brief – an den Schwager in Kopenhagen :

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" Berlin ,

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❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

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"14th March, 1930.

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❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

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"Dear Christian ,

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❡

Lieber Christian ,

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❡

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Your Lili ."

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❡

Eure Lili .

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"P.S.—I write this letter in great secrecy. Mention the matter to no one."

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❡

Im größten Geheimnis schrieb ich diesen Brief! Sprich zu niemand davon!«

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It was wintry weather in Berlin when some days later Lili , muffled up in her new fur coat, was

allowed to leave the nursing-home for a few hours for the first time. The Professor had "prescribed" for her an automobile drive.

Regularized form: "

You must prepare every day now for the long journey to Dresden ," he explained. "Get some fresh air, mix with people, gather new strength."

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Det var endnu Vintervejr i Berlin , da Lili nogle Dage senere, svøbt i sin første, nye Pels, fik Lov til at forlade Kliniken et Par Timer. Overlægen havde foreskrevet en Køretur.

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— Vi maa jo øve os til den store Rejse til Dresden , erklærede han, vi maa have lidt frisk Luft, vise os iblandt Mennesker, samle Kræfter.

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It was still winter in Berlin when Lili a few days later, wrapped in her first new fur coat, was permitted to leave the clinic for a couple of hours. The senior physician had prescribed a drive.

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"We must practice for the great journey to Dresden ," he declared, "we must have a little fresh air, show ourselves among people, gather strength."

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Walk among people ... Those words made Lili listen up. A secret fear came over her. But she didn't let anyone notice. Niels and Inger fetched her with Grete

Note: Gerda is crossed out here and Grete added in ink.

, who did not stray from her side.

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"Among people" ... These words made Lili listen. She was seized by a secret fear, but she did not let the others feel it ...... Niels and Inger picked her up ...... and Grete never left her side.

d1-trc12p036

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sich umblickend, als fürchte sie, dass alles um sie herum nur ein Trug sei.

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looked around shyly, as if she was afraid that everything going around her was just an illusion.

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She hesitated to proceed.

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Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

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She hesitated to move on.

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d1-trc12p037

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

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"Come now, child," said Grete softly to her.

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"Komm nun, Kind," sprach Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

leise zu ihr.

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"Come on, child," Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

said to her, quietly.

ts-trc10p032

— Kom nu. Barn, hviskede Grete sagte til hende.

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"Come on, child," Grete whispered to her softly.

d1-trc12p038

»Komm nun, Kind«, sprach Grete leise zu ihr.

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"She is proud," laughed Niels , "and, of course, wants to go alone."

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"Sie ist hochmütig," lachte Niels , "sie will natürlich allein gehen."

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"She is haughty," laughed Niels , "she wants to go by herself."

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— Hun er vigtig, hun vil gaa alene, sagde Niels .

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"She is conceited, she wants to walk alone," Niels said.

d1-trc12p039

»Sie ist hochmütig«, lachte Niels , »sie will natürlich allein gehen.«

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"No, no," protested Lili in a frightened voice, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment more. I must just taste this air once more. This air . . ."

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"Nein, nein," sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, "mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muss die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft ..."

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"No, no," Lili 's words came very frightened, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment. I have to first taste the air again. This air ..."

ts-trc10p034

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d1-trc12p040

»Nein, nein«, sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, »mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muß die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft . . .«

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When Lili was sitting in the car, huddled close to Grete , she closed her eyes. "Don't bother about me. I must first get accustomed to all this."

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Als Lili , eng an Gerda geschmiegt, im Wagen sass, schloss sie lange, lange die Augen. "Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muss mich erst wieder an alldas gewöhnen ... an alldas ... alldas ..."

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Da Lili sad i Vognen, krøb hun tæt ind til Grete og lukkede længe Øjnene:

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— Bryd Jer bare ikke om mig ...... jeg maa først vænne mig til det altsammen ......det altsammen.

d1c12p042

When Lili was in the car, she huddled up against Grete and closed her eyes for a long time:

d1-trc12p041

"Don't mind me ...... I must get used to it all first ...... all of it."

d1-trc12p042

Als Lili , eng an Grete geschmiegt, im Wagen saß, schloß sie die Augen. »Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muß mich erst wieder an all das gewöhnen . . .«

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And thus she drove through the roaring life of the Kurfurstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent and self-absorbed.

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Und so fuhr sie wie eine Blinde durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, verschlossen, in sich verriegelt ...

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And so she drove through the roaring life of Kurfürstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent, closed up, self-absorbed ...

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Og som en Blind kørte hun gennem Kurfürstendamm s brusende Liv, som en Søvngængerske, tavs og indesluttet i sig selv ......

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And like a blind person she drove through the roaring bustle of Kurfürstendamm , like a sleep walker, silent and withdrawn......

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Und so fuhr sie durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, in sich verriegelt . . .

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The drive lasted two hours, and then Grete put the tired invalid to bed again. She was scarcely able to peck at the food that was brought her

before she fell into a deep slumber, which lasted until the following morning.

a1c10p033

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The ride took two hours. Then Gerda returned the tired one to her hospital bed. No sooner had she picked a little at the meal brought in, than she dozed off. The sleep lasted until the next morning.

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About noon Niels called for them both. Lili was in much better spirits. "I shall not bore you to-day, nor myself. I am really anxious to see people."

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Gegen Mittag holte Niels sie beide wieder ab. Lili war schon viel beherzter geworden. "So, heute will ich euch nicht langweilen. Auch mich nicht. Jch habe sogar ordentlich Hunger - auf Menschen ..."

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Om Eftermiddagen hentede Niels dem igen. Lili var allerede meget mere behersket.

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— I Dag skal jeg ikke blive saa kedelig, sagde hun, jeg længes ovenikøbet efter Mennesker.

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In the afternoon Niels picked them up again. Lili was already much more composed.

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"Today I won't be so boring," she said, "I even long for people."

d1-trc12p046

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"Aren't we such?" inquired Niels , amused.

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"Sind wir etwa keine?" fragte belustigt Niels .

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"Are we not?" Niels asked, amused.

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— Er vi ikke Mennesker? spurgte Niels spøgende.

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"Aren't we people?" Niels asked jokingly.

d1-trc12p047

»Sind wir etwa keine?« fragte belustigt Niels .

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"But I mean strange people—yes, I want to see strange people again."

a1c10p036

"Doch, aber fremde Menschen ... ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen."

tsc10p040

"Yes, but for strange people ... yes, to see strange people once more."

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— Jo, men efter fremmede Mennesker ...... ja, jeg vil gerne en Gang igen se et fremmed Menneske.

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"Yes, but for strangers ...... yes, I would like to once again see a stranger."

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»Doch, aber fremde Menschen . . . ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen.«

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a1c10p037

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— Udmærket, en glimrende Idé, sagde Niels , og fortalte, at de skulde spise til Middag hjemme hos ham og Inger for at fejre Dagen.

d1c12p049

Han lod Vognen holde ved en Telefonkiosk og steg ud. Han vilde blot lade Inger vide, at de var paa Vej, sagde han, da han med en meget hemmelighedsfuld Mine vendte tilbage.

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"Very good, an excellent idea," Niels said, and told them that they were to dine at home with him and Inger to celebrate the day.

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He stopped the car at a phone booth and got out. He just wanted to let Inger know that they were on their way, he said, when he returned with a very mysterious air.

d1-trc12p050

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a1c10p038

tsc10p042

They arrived within fifteen minutes. Inger received the friends outside the door. She pressed a big bouquet of the most magnificent roses into Lili 's arms. "Now, be brave

Lili child

Regularized form: Lilikind

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Inger aabnede Entrédøren for dem og rakte Lili en stor Buket Roser.

d1c12p051

d1c12p052

Inger opened the front door for them and handed Lili a large bouquet of roses.

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"For heaven's sake!" cried Lili , almost beside herself.

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"Um Himmels willen," rief fast ausser sich Lili .

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"Good heavens," Lili cried out, almost besides herself.

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— For Guds Skyld, sagde Lili , og hun veg tilbage.

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"For God's sake," said Lili and she shrank back.

d1-trc12p053

»Um Himmels willen«, rief fast außer sich Lili .

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a1c10p040

"Keine Widerrede. Du hast jetzt die "importierte Pariserin" zu

tsc10p044

"Don't argue now. You have to play the "imported Parisienne"

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d1-trc12p055

g1c10p041

❡

"Durchhalten, durchhalten," flüsterte Grete ihr ins Ohr.

tsc10p045

"Keep it up, keep it up," Grete whispered in her ear.

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— Hold nu bare ud! hviskede Inger til hende.

d1c12p056

"Just stick to it!" Inger whispered to her.

d1-trc12p056

❡

"Gut, gut, du Gute," antwortete Lili , "ich halte durch. Und muss es ja noch lange."

tsc10p046

"Good, good, you good one," Lili replied, "I am keeping it up. And I have to for a long time..."

ts-trc10p046

— Ja, Du har Ret, det skal jeg, blot det ikke varer for længe.

d1c12p057

"Yes, you are right, I will, if only it won't last too long."

d1-trc12p057

❡

a1c10p041

Da öffnet sich die Tür ... eine junge Kopenhagener Schauspielerin , die Gerda und Andreas seit vielen Jahren kannte, stand vor Lili ...

tsc10p047

Lili glaubt, dass ihr das Herz zerspringen muss. Fieberröte schiesst in ihr blasses Gesicht. Nein, ruft sie sich selber zu, nein, nein ...

tsc10p048

Doch niemand merkt ihr auch nur die geringste Erregung an.

tsc10p049

The door opened ... A young actress from Copenhagen who Gerda and Andreas had known for many years stood before Lili ...

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Lili believes her heart will shatter now. Feverish red shoots into her pale face. No, she cries out internally, no, no...

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But nobody notes even the slightest disturbance in her.

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Døren gik op, og en ung, københavnsk Skuespillerinde , som Grete og Andreas for nogle Aar siden havde været sammen med en Aften i København , stod foran Lili ......

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Men ingen lagde Mærke til hendes Bevægelse.

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The door opened and a young actress from Copenhagen with whom Grete and Andreas had spent an evening a few years ago stood in front of Lili ......

d1-trc12p058

But no one noticed her nervousness.

d1-trc12p060

g1c10p042

"May I introduce," began Inger with a smile, Fräulein Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

— Mademoiselle Julie Stuart ." And then, turning to Grete : "You both know each other already."

a1c10p042

"Darf ich vorstellen," beginnt lächelnd Frau Inger , " Fräulein Karen W. ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." Und dann sich an ~~Gerda~~ Grete wendend: "Ihr beiden kennt euch ja."

tsc10p050

"May I introduce," Miss Inger begins, smiling, " Miss Karen W . ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." And then, turning to Grete

Note: Here again Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

: "But you two know each other."

ts-trc10p050

— Maa jeg have Lov til at forestille, smilede Inger , Frøken Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p061

"May I be permitted to introduce," Inger smiled, " Miss Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p061

»Darf ich vorstellen«, begann lächelnd Frau Inger , » Fräulein Karen Wärdal – Mademoiselle Julie Stuart .« Und dann sich an Grete wendend: »Ihr beiden kennt euch ja.«

g1c10p043

"Of course we do!" cried Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

with enthusiasm. "How is your husband Andreas ?"

a1c10p043

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

— Aah, vi kender allerede hinanden, raabte Skuespillerinden , hvorledes har Deres Mand, Andreas Sparre , det?

d1c12p062

"Oh, we already know each other," the actress cried, "how is your husband, Andreas Sparre ?"

d1-trc12p062

g1c10p044

a1c10p044

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

d1c12p063

d1-trc12p063

g1c10p044

a1c10p045

über dieses recht überschwängliche Lob ihres Anzuges, dass ihre flugs besorgte Garderobe durchaus nicht Pariser Ursprungs war, sondern aus einem Berliner Damenatelier stammte.

tsc10p052

The

maid

Regularized form: Mädchen

that her wardrobe was not of Parisian origin, but from a Berlin woman's tailor.

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d1c12p064

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d1c12p064

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g1c10p046

Then she could keep it up no longer. She was tired to death, and begged Grete to take her to her hotel .

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Dann konnte sie nicht mehr ... Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Und sie bat Gerda , sie - in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

tsc10p054

Then she was exhausted ... She was tired enough to just fall over. And she asked Gerda

Note: Gerda is not crossed out here.

to accompany her to her hotel .

ts-trc10p054

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr . . . Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Sie bat Grete , sie – in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

g1c10p047

She bade a smiling farewell to Fräulein Karen .

a1c10p048

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

tsc10p055

Smiling she bid Miss Karen farewell.

ts-trc10p055

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

g1c10p048

"The next time we meet I shall murder the French language," the young actress called after her. "Till our next meeting in Paris ; and don't forget, Grete , to give Monsieur Andreas my kind regards."

a1c10p049

tsc10p056

"Next time we meet, I will try to talk in

badly broken French

Regularized form: auf Französisch radebrechen

," the young Copenhagen woman yelled after her. "To a reunion in Paris ... and Miss Grete

Note: Here Gerda is crossed out again and Grete added in ink.

, don't forget to give Monsieur Andreas my best ..."

ts-trc10p056

d1c12p065

— Og De, Fru Sparre , maa endelig hilse Deres Mand mange Gange fra mig.

d1c12p066

d1-trc12p065

"And you, Mrs. Sparre , please give my warmest regards to your husband."

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g1c10p049

Niels accompanied Grete and Lili to the nursing-home .

a1c10p050

Niels begleitete sie beide wieder in die Klinik .

tsc10p057

Niels accompanied the two of them back to the clinic .

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Niels fulgte dem begge tilbage til Kliniken.

d1c12p067

Niels drove them back to the clinic.

d1-trc12p067

Niels begleitete die beiden wieder in die Klinik .

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"Well," he said, when they were sitting in the car, "I should not have thought it possible. Now I can believe in miracles!"

a1c10p051

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ts-trc10p058

— Nej, erklærede han, det havde jeg dog ikke tænkt kunde lade sig gennemføre, nu tror jeg paa Miraklet!

d1c12p068

"No," he declared, "this I would never have thought it possible to carry through, now I believe in miracles!"

d1-trc12p068

»Nein«, sagte er, als sie im Wagen saßen, »das hätte ich nicht für möglich gehalten. Jetzt glaube sogar ich felsenfest an Wunder!«

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d1c12p069

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So ended Lili 's first encounter with a strange person

Regularized form: .

a1c10p053

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem - fremden Menschen.

tsc10p059

That was how Lili 's first encounter with a – strange person went.

ts-trc10p059

Saaledes forløb Lili s første Møde med et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p070

This was how Lili’s first meeting with a stranger passed.

d1-trc12p070

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem – fremden Menschen.

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"And she did not recognize me," she said sadly.

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"Dass sie mich nicht wieder erkannt hat ..." fast wehmütig sagte sie dies.

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"That she did not recognize me..." she said almost melancholically.

ts-trc10p060

— Tænk, at hun ikke kunde kende mig igen, sagde hun næsten vemodigt.

d1c12p071

"Imagine that she was not able to recognise me," she said almost wistfully.

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»Daß sie mich nicht wiedererkannt hat . . .« wehmütig sagte sie dies.

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"But, child," answered Grete , smiling, "that ought to make you glad. Lili , my new Lili , does not know anybody in the world yet. You are starting life again."

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"Aber Kind," entgegnete Grete lächelnd, "das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draussen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen ..."

tsc10p061

"But child," Grete countered smiling, "that should make you happy. Lili , I mean my new Lili doesn't know anyone out there yet. You are just starting life again ..."

ts-trc10p061

d1c12p072

d1-trc12p072

»Aber Kind«, entgegnete Grete lächelnd, »das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draußen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen . . .«

g1c10p055

It did not yet dawn on Grete that Lili 's melancholy was inspired by fear of having no friends.

a1c10p056

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, dass Lili s ~~Trauer~~ Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war ...

tsc10p062

Grete could not yet understand this morning, that Lili 's melancholy was the fear of having no friends ...

ts-trc10p062

Den Dag kunde Grete endnu ikke forstaa, endnu ikke fatte, at Lili s Vemod var Frygt for ikke at finde Venner.

d1c12p073

That day Grete could not yet understand, not yet comprehend, that Lili 's sadness was the fear of not finding friends.

d1-trc12p073

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, daß Lili s Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war . . .

g1c10p056

D1: Fra Mand til Kvinde (Danish Edition)

Chapter 12

Three days later Grete arrived early in the morning.

a1c10p001

tsc10p001

ts-trc10p001

d1c12p001

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Drei Tage später, frühmorgens, traf Grete ein.

g1c10p001

The nurse on duty knew at once who she was.

a1c10p002

Die wachthabende Schwester wusste sofort, wer sie war.

tsc10p002

The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

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Den vagthavende Sygeplejerske vidste straks, hvem hun var.

d1c12p002

The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

d1-trc12p002

Die wachthabende Schwester wußte sofort, wer sie war.

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❡

"Ah, Madame, nicht wahr, Madame Sparre ?" begrüsste sie die frühe Besucherin. "Darf ich Sie führen. Sie werden mit Sehnsucht erwartet. Entschuldigen Sie das Durcheinander auf den Korridoren."

tsc10p003

"Ah, Madame, is that right, Madame Sparre ?" she greeted the early visitor. "May I guide you. You are being passionately expected. Please excuse the mess in the corridors."

ts-trc10p003

d1c12p003

"Oh, it's Mrs. Sparre isn't it?" she said ......"let me show you the way ...... You are eagerly expected ...... Please, excuse the disorder here, we haven't yet finished the morning cleaning."

d1-trc12p003

❡

tsc10p004

ts-trc10p004

d1c12p004

Note: Paragraphs 3-4 are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p004

❡

A few moments later she was in the sick-room.

a1c10p003

Ein paar Augenblicke nooh und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

tsc10p005

A few moments and she stood in the hospital room.

ts-trc10p005

Saa stod hun i Sygeværelset.

d1c12p005

Then she was in the sickroom.

d1-trc12p005

Ein paar Augenblicke noch, und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

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❡

tsc10p006

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d1c12p006

Note: This paragraph is missing in the American edition.

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❡

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g1c10p004

❡

Was diese beiden Menschenkinder in dieser Stunde des Wiedersehens empfunden, durchlebt und einander gestanden haben im stummen Verweilen beieinander, vermag kein Wort festzuhalten.

tsc10p008

What these two human children felt, lived through and confessed to each other in this hour of reunion in silent sojourn, no word may capture.

ts-trc10p008

Hvad disse to Mennesker følte ved deres Gensyn, hvad de gennemlevede og sagde hinanden i dette tavse Samvær — det formaar Ord ikke at gengive.

d1c12p008

What these two people felt at their reunion, what they lived through and said to each other during this silent time together – words cannot render.

Note: This paragraph is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p008

❡

Late in the evening, when she was alone with the turmoil of thoughts and sensations that assailed her, Grete wrote the following letter to their friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

a1c10p005

Spät abends, allein mit sich unddem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den fernen, treuen Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

tsc10p009

Late at night, alone with herself and the storm of confusing thoughts and feelings, Grete wrote this letter to the distant, faithful friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

ts-trc10p009

Sent om Aftenen, da Grete var blevet alene med sine forvirrede Tanker og modstridende Følelser, skrev hun følgende Brev til Vennen i Paris , til Claude Lejeune :

d1c12p009

Late in the evening when Grete was alone with her confused thoughts and conflicting emotions she wrote the following letter to her friend in Paris , to Claude Lejeune :

d1-trc12p009

Spät abends, allein mit dem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

g1c10p005

a1c10l01p01

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p02

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p03

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p04

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p05

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

— Er Du ikke vred paa mig, fordi ...... fordi Andreas bedrog Dig for dine skønneste Aar? ......

d1c12l01p02

d1c12l01p03

d1-trc12l01p01

'Are you angry with me because ...... because Andreas robbed you of your most beautiful years? ......'

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d1-trc12l01p03

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

a1c10p006

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

tsc10p010

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

ts-trc10p010

❡

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

g1c10p006

The next morning— Grete had spent the night

a1c10p007

Am nächsten Morgen, - die Nacht hatte Grete allein in einem Hotel verbracht, - machte die Oberschwester den Vorschlag, noch ein Bett in das Krankenzimmer

zu stellen, damit Grete bis zur Abreise nach Dresden , die in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

tsc10p011

The next morning, - Grete had spent the night alone in a hotel , - the head nurse suggested putting another bed into the

hospital room, so that Grete could stay close to the patient until the departure for Dresden , which would take place within a few days.

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d1c12p010

d1-trc12p010

Note: 8*

in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

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a1c10p008

tsc10p012

"Bitte," mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein entzückendes Seidennegligé hervorgeholt, "ist das nicht goldig?"

tsc10p013

the

Regularized form: dem

patient any more." The nurse did not understand what Grete meant by this and just looked at her, questioning.

ts-trc10p012

"Here," with a quick grip Grete took a delightful silken negligee out of the suitcase, "isn't this lovely?"

ts-trc10p013

— Det var dejligt, svarede Grete taknemligt, tog Sygeplejersken s Haand og trak hende med ind i Sideværelset, der stod ledigt. Hun

hentede hurtigt en Haandkuffert, som hun havde ladet blive staaende i Gangen, aabnede den og hviskede ganske sagte:

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— Kære Søster, nu skal jeg vise Dem noget, og saa taler vi ikke mere om ham .

d1c12p012

Hun tog et henrivende Silkenégligé frem af Kufferten:

d1c12p013

"How nice," Grete answered gratefully, took the nurse 's hand and pulled her into the side room that was vacant. She

quickly fetched a suitcase which she had left standing in the hallway, opened it and whispered softly:

d1-trc12p011

"Dear Sister, let me show you something, and then we will speak no more of him ."

Note: The whisper is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p012

She took a lovely silk négligé out from the suitcase:

d1-trc12p013

g1c10p008

»Bitte«, mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein Seidennegligé hervorgeholt.

g1c10p009

❡

— Er det ikke bedaarende?

d1c12p014

"Isn't it beautiful?"

d1-trc12p014

❡

"How becoming you will look in it, madam!"

a1c10p009

"Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!"

tsc10p014

"How well that will look on you, ma'am!"

ts-trc10p014

— Jo, det vil klæde Dem henrivende, naadige Frue.

d1c12p015

"Yes, it will become you wonderfully, madam."

d1-trc12p015

»Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!«

g1c10p010

"I? No, Nurse ; it is a present from our Parisian friend for our—patient inside. But not a word, please, until to-morrow morning!"

a1c10p010

tsc10p015

ts-trc10p015

d1c12p016

d1-trc12p016

»Mich? . . . Nein, Schwesterchen , das ist ein Geschenk von unserer Pariser Freundin für unsere – Patientin da drinnen! – Aber bitte, nichts verraten – vor morgen früh!«

g1c10p011

a1c10p011

tsc10p016

your astonished environment

Regularized form: Ihrer erstaunten Um-welt

! But please, just here in this room! We can't risk any more than that!"

ts-trc10p016

d1c12p017

d1c12p018

d1-trc12p017

d1-trc12p018

g1c10p012

One nurse after another rustled in. Their astonishment was unbounded.

a1c10p012

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen. " Fräulein Lili ," sagte die Oberschwester und nahm das bleiche, bebende Geschöpf mütterlich in die Arme.

tsc10p017

One nurse after the other rushed inside. Endless astonishment with all of them. " Miss Lili ," the head nurse said and enfolded the pale, quaking creature motherly in her arms.

ts-trc10p017

Flere af Sygeplejerskerne gjorde sig i Dagens Løb Ærinde ind i Sygeværelset, og Oversygeplejersken tog Lili moderligt i sine Arme og hviskede:

d1c12p019

Several of the nurses found a pretext for going into the sick room during the day and the head nurse maternally took Lili in her arms and whispered:

d1-trc12p019

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen.

g1c10p013

❡

— Nu skal De bare være tapper!

d1c12p020

"Now you just have to be brave!"

Note: The Matron's embrace and whisper are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p020

❡

a1c10p013

tsc10p018

ts-trc10p018

d1c12p021

— God Aften, Mademoiselle, jeg ser, at det stadig gaar udmærket!

d1c12p022

d1-trc12p021

"Good evening, Mademoiselle, I see that you are still doing well!"

d1-trc12p022

g1c10p014

Then he noticed Grete for the first time. "Ah, madam, welcome."

a1c10p014

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . "Ah, Madame, willkommen."

tsc10p019

Only then did he noticed Grete . "Ah, Madame, welcome."

ts-trc10p019

Saa først fik han Øje paa Grete :

d1c12p023

Only then did he see Grete :

d1-trc12p023

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . »Ah, Madame, willkommen.«

g1c10p015

❡

— Jeg beder undskylde ......

d1c12p024

"I apologize ....."

d1-trc12p024

❡

For a moment the Professor and Grete confronted each other mutely, not without suppressed emotions.

a1c10p015

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

tsc10p020

For a moment the Professor and Grete stood there, facing each other in silence not without restrained shock.

ts-trc10p020

Et Øjeblik stod Grete og Overlægen og saa paa hinanden med tilbageholdt Sindsbevægelse. Saa sagde Lægen med en godmodig Latter:

d1c12p027

For a moment Grete and the doctor looked at each other with restrained emotion. Then the doctor said with a good-natured laugh:

d1-trc12p027

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

g1c10p016

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor , this is Madame Grete , who . . ."

a1c10p016

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. "Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die ..."

tsc10p021

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor, this is Madame Grete , who ..."

ts-trc10p021

Lili skyndte sig at forestille:

d1c12p025

— Det er min ...... det er Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p026

Lili hastened to introduce:

d1-trc12p025

"This is my ...... this is Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p026

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. »Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die . . .«

g1c10p017

a1c10p017

tsc10p022

ts-trc10p022

— Ja, jeg ved jo, at De var gift med den forsvundne Andreas Sparre .

Men hvad skal man sige til det? Mænd er nu engang troløse ...... man ved aldrig, hvor man har dem.

d1c12p028

"Yes, I know that you were married to the missing Andreas Sparre .

But what can one say? Men are faithless ...... you never know where you are with them."

d1-trc12p028

g1c10p018

a1c10p018

tsc10p023

ts-trc10p023

d1c12p029

It was as if Lili in the first days

Note: The American edition has "her first Berlin days"

d1-trc12p029

g1c10p019

"We must leave her in peace," Grete would then say to them in confidence. "She is resting. She is in a kind of transition. She is now getting ready to soar into freedom."

a1c10p019

tsc10p024

"We have to leave her in peace," Grete said to them, secretly. She is recovering. It is all just a kind of transition. The big, liberating upswing is still only preparing within her."

ts-trc10p024

— Vi maa lade hende være i Fred, sagde Grete til Inger og Niels , hun hviler ud i sig selv ...... det er altsammen kun en Overgang ...... Forberedelsen til hendes Væsens frie Udfoldelse.

d1c12p030

"We must leave her alone," Grete said to Inger and Niels , "she is resting within herself ...... it is all just a passing phase ......the preparation of the free development of her nature."

d1-trc12p030

g1c10p020

a1c10p020

tsc10p025

ts-trc10p025

d1c12p031

d1-trc12p031

g1c10p021

Here is a leaf from the diary that she started:

a1c10p021

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

tsc10p026

Here is a page of this newly begun diary:

ts-trc10p026

Her er en enkelt Side af denne Dagbog:

d1c12p032

Here is a single page of this diary:

d1-trc12p032

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

g1c10p022

" Lili bears everything with incredible patience. True, she whimpers every morning, and even

when her bandages are changed, when fasteners must be undone and done up, and when the still fresh scars are painted.

a1c10d01p01

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

a1c10d01p02

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

Here is another entry:

a1c10p022

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

tsc10p027

Here another entry:

ts-trc10p027

En anden Dag skrev Grete :

d1c12p033

Another day Grete wrote:

d1-trc12p033

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

g1c10p023

yet believe. . . . Or is it that she will not yet show that she believes?"

a1c10d02p01

❡

... »Uden at Lili vidste det, har Inger og jeg truffet Forberedelser til hendes Rejse til Dresden . I Dag var vi i Butiker, og vi kom tilbage til Kliniken med en stor, broget Æske.

d1c12d02p01

— Prøv paa, om Du kan gætte, hvad det er? sagde jeg.

d1c12d02p02

Lili saa paa os og svarede uden et Smil:

d1c12d02p03

— Nej, det kan jeg ikke!

d1c12d02p04

Inger skar Seglgarnet over og trak en dejlig, brun Pels op af Æsken.

d1c12d02p05

— Den er til Dig, Lili , sagde Inger og bredte Pelsen ud foran hende og viste hende det lækre, bløde Silkefoer ......

d1c12d02p06

— Det er sødt af Jer, svarede hun, men tror I, Professor Kreutz vil synes om, at jeg møder i den Paaklædning ...... bare han kan kende mig igen ......

d1c12d02p07

d1c12d02p08

... "Without Lili 's knowledge, Inger and I have made preparations for her journey to Dresden . Today we went shopping, and we returned to the clinic with a big multicoloured box.

d1-trc12d02p01

'Try to guess what this is?' I said.

d1-trc12d02p02

Lili looked at us and replied without a smile:

d1-trc12d02p03

'No, I can't!'

d1-trc12d02p04

Inger cut through the string and pulled a lovely brown fur coat out of the box.

d1-trc12d02p05

'This is for you, Lili ,' Inger said and spread the coat in front of her and showed her the lovely, soft silk lining ......'

d1-trc12d02p06

'That is sweet of you, she answered, but do you think that Professor Kreutz will approve if I make my appearance dressed like that ...... I only hope he can recognise me ......'

d1-trc12d02p07

d1-trc12d02p08

g1c10d02p01

On this day Lili wrote her first letter, to her brother-in-law in Copenhagen .

a1c10p023

❡

An diesem Tag schrieb Lili ihren ersten Brief – an den Schwager in Kopenhagen :

g1c10p024

" Berlin ,

a1c10l02ha

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"14th March, 1930.

a1c10l02hb

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c10l02hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c10l02hb

a1c10l02p01

❡

g1c10l02p01

Your Lili ."

a1c10l02fa

❡

Eure Lili .

g1c10l02fa

"P.S.—I write this letter in great secrecy. Mention the matter to no one."

a1c10l02fb

❡

Im größten Geheimnis schrieb ich diesen Brief! Sprich zu niemand davon!«

g1c10l02fb

It was wintry weather in Berlin when some days later Lili , muffled up in her new fur coat, was

allowed to leave the nursing-home for a few hours for the first time. The Professor had "prescribed" for her an automobile drive.

Regularized form: "

You must prepare every day now for the long journey to Dresden ," he explained. "Get some fresh air, mix with people, gather new strength."

a1c10p024

tsc10p028

ts-trc10p028

Det var endnu Vintervejr i Berlin , da Lili nogle Dage senere, svøbt i sin første, nye Pels, fik Lov til at forlade Kliniken et Par Timer. Overlægen havde foreskrevet en Køretur.

d1c12p034

— Vi maa jo øve os til den store Rejse til Dresden , erklærede han, vi maa have lidt frisk Luft, vise os iblandt Mennesker, samle Kræfter.

d1c12p035

It was still winter in Berlin when Lili a few days later, wrapped in her first new fur coat, was permitted to leave the clinic for a couple of hours. The senior physician had prescribed a drive.

d1-trc12p034

"We must practice for the great journey to Dresden ," he declared, "we must have a little fresh air, show ourselves among people, gather strength."

d1-trc12p035

g1c10p025

a1c10p025

tsc10p029

Walk among people ... Those words made Lili listen up. A secret fear came over her. But she didn't let anyone notice. Niels and Inger fetched her with Grete

Note: Gerda is crossed out here and Grete added in ink.

, who did not stray from her side.

ts-trc10p029

d1c12p036

"Among people" ... These words made Lili listen. She was seized by a secret fear, but she did not let the others feel it ...... Niels and Inger picked her up ...... and Grete never left her side.

d1-trc12p036

g1c10p026

a1c10p026

sich umblickend, als fürchte sie, dass alles um sie herum nur ein Trug sei.

tsc10p030

looked around shyly, as if she was afraid that everything going around her was just an illusion.

ts-trc10p030

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

g1c10p027

She hesitated to proceed.

a1c10p027

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

tsc10p031

She hesitated to move on.

ts-trc10p031

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

g1c10p028

"Come now, child," said Grete softly to her.

a1c10p028

"Komm nun, Kind," sprach Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

leise zu ihr.

tsc10p032

"Come on, child," Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

said to her, quietly.

ts-trc10p032

— Kom nu. Barn, hviskede Grete sagte til hende.

d1c12p038

"Come on, child," Grete whispered to her softly.

d1-trc12p038

»Komm nun, Kind«, sprach Grete leise zu ihr.

g1c10p029

"She is proud," laughed Niels , "and, of course, wants to go alone."

a1c10p029

"Sie ist hochmütig," lachte Niels , "sie will natürlich allein gehen."

tsc10p033

"She is haughty," laughed Niels , "she wants to go by herself."

ts-trc10p033

— Hun er vigtig, hun vil gaa alene, sagde Niels .

d1c12p039

"She is conceited, she wants to walk alone," Niels said.

d1-trc12p039

»Sie ist hochmütig«, lachte Niels , »sie will natürlich allein gehen.«

g1c10p030

"No, no," protested Lili in a frightened voice, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment more. I must just taste this air once more. This air . . ."

a1c10p030

"Nein, nein," sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, "mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muss die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft ..."

tsc10p034

"No, no," Lili 's words came very frightened, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment. I have to first taste the air again. This air ..."

ts-trc10p034

d1c12p040

d1-trc12p040

»Nein, nein«, sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, »mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muß die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft . . .«

g1c10p031

When Lili was sitting in the car, huddled close to Grete , she closed her eyes. "Don't bother about me. I must first get accustomed to all this."

a1c10p031

Als Lili , eng an Gerda geschmiegt, im Wagen sass, schloss sie lange, lange die Augen. "Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muss mich erst wieder an alldas gewöhnen ... an alldas ... alldas ..."

tsc10p035

ts-trc10p035

Da Lili sad i Vognen, krøb hun tæt ind til Grete og lukkede længe Øjnene:

d1c12p041

— Bryd Jer bare ikke om mig ...... jeg maa først vænne mig til det altsammen ......det altsammen.

d1c12p042

When Lili was in the car, she huddled up against Grete and closed her eyes for a long time:

d1-trc12p041

"Don't mind me ...... I must get used to it all first ...... all of it."

d1-trc12p042

Als Lili , eng an Grete geschmiegt, im Wagen saß, schloß sie die Augen. »Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muß mich erst wieder an all das gewöhnen . . .«

g1c10p032

And thus she drove through the roaring life of the Kurfurstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent and self-absorbed.

a1c10p032

Und so fuhr sie wie eine Blinde durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, verschlossen, in sich verriegelt ...

tsc10p036

And so she drove through the roaring life of Kurfürstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent, closed up, self-absorbed ...

ts-trc10p036

Og som en Blind kørte hun gennem Kurfürstendamm s brusende Liv, som en Søvngængerske, tavs og indesluttet i sig selv ......

d1c12p043

And like a blind person she drove through the roaring bustle of Kurfürstendamm , like a sleep walker, silent and withdrawn......

d1-trc12p043

Und so fuhr sie durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, in sich verriegelt . . .

g1c10p033

The drive lasted two hours, and then Grete put the tired invalid to bed again. She was scarcely able to peck at the food that was brought her

before she fell into a deep slumber, which lasted until the following morning.

a1c10p033

tsc10p037

The ride took two hours. Then Gerda returned the tired one to her hospital bed. No sooner had she picked a little at the meal brought in, than she dozed off. The sleep lasted until the next morning.

ts-trc10p037

d1c12p044

d1-trc12p044

g1c10p034

About noon Niels called for them both. Lili was in much better spirits. "I shall not bore you to-day, nor myself. I am really anxious to see people."

a1c10p034

Gegen Mittag holte Niels sie beide wieder ab. Lili war schon viel beherzter geworden. "So, heute will ich euch nicht langweilen. Auch mich nicht. Jch habe sogar ordentlich Hunger - auf Menschen ..."

tsc10p038

ts-trc10p038

Om Eftermiddagen hentede Niels dem igen. Lili var allerede meget mere behersket.

d1c12p045

— I Dag skal jeg ikke blive saa kedelig, sagde hun, jeg længes ovenikøbet efter Mennesker.

d1c12p046

In the afternoon Niels picked them up again. Lili was already much more composed.

d1-trc12p045

"Today I won't be so boring," she said, "I even long for people."

d1-trc12p046

g1c10p035

"Aren't we such?" inquired Niels , amused.

a1c10p035

"Sind wir etwa keine?" fragte belustigt Niels .

tsc10p039

"Are we not?" Niels asked, amused.

ts-trc10p039

— Er vi ikke Mennesker? spurgte Niels spøgende.

d1c12p047

"Aren't we people?" Niels asked jokingly.

d1-trc12p047

»Sind wir etwa keine?« fragte belustigt Niels .

g1c10p036

"But I mean strange people—yes, I want to see strange people again."

a1c10p036

"Doch, aber fremde Menschen ... ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen."

tsc10p040

"Yes, but for strange people ... yes, to see strange people once more."

ts-trc10p040

— Jo, men efter fremmede Mennesker ...... ja, jeg vil gerne en Gang igen se et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p048

"Yes, but for strangers ...... yes, I would like to once again see a stranger."

d1-trc12p048

»Doch, aber fremde Menschen . . . ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen.«

g1c10p037

a1c10p037

tsc10p041

ts-trc10p041

— Udmærket, en glimrende Idé, sagde Niels , og fortalte, at de skulde spise til Middag hjemme hos ham og Inger for at fejre Dagen.

d1c12p049

Han lod Vognen holde ved en Telefonkiosk og steg ud. Han vilde blot lade Inger vide, at de var paa Vej, sagde han, da han med en meget hemmelighedsfuld Mine vendte tilbage.

d1c12p050

"Very good, an excellent idea," Niels said, and told them that they were to dine at home with him and Inger to celebrate the day.

d1-trc12p049

He stopped the car at a phone booth and got out. He just wanted to let Inger know that they were on their way, he said, when he returned with a very mysterious air.

d1-trc12p050

g1c10p038

a1c10p038

tsc10p042

They arrived within fifteen minutes. Inger received the friends outside the door. She pressed a big bouquet of the most magnificent roses into Lili 's arms. "Now, be brave

Lili child

Regularized form: Lilikind

ts-trc10p042

Inger aabnede Entrédøren for dem og rakte Lili en stor Buket Roser.

d1c12p051

d1c12p052

Inger opened the front door for them and handed Lili a large bouquet of roses.

d1-trc12p051

d1-trc12p052

g1c10p039

"For heaven's sake!" cried Lili , almost beside herself.

a1c10p039

"Um Himmels willen," rief fast ausser sich Lili .

tsc10p043

"Good heavens," Lili cried out, almost besides herself.

ts-trc10p043

— For Guds Skyld, sagde Lili , og hun veg tilbage.

d1c12p053

"For God's sake," said Lili and she shrank back.

d1-trc12p053

»Um Himmels willen«, rief fast außer sich Lili .

g1c10p040

a1c10p040

"Keine Widerrede. Du hast jetzt die "importierte Pariserin" zu

tsc10p044

"Don't argue now. You have to play the "imported Parisienne"

ts-trc10p044

d1c12p054

d1c12p055

d1-trc12p054

d1-trc12p055

g1c10p041

❡

"Durchhalten, durchhalten," flüsterte Grete ihr ins Ohr.

tsc10p045

"Keep it up, keep it up," Grete whispered in her ear.

ts-trc10p045

— Hold nu bare ud! hviskede Inger til hende.

d1c12p056

"Just stick to it!" Inger whispered to her.

d1-trc12p056

❡

"Gut, gut, du Gute," antwortete Lili , "ich halte durch. Und muss es ja noch lange."

tsc10p046

"Good, good, you good one," Lili replied, "I am keeping it up. And I have to for a long time..."

ts-trc10p046

— Ja, Du har Ret, det skal jeg, blot det ikke varer for længe.

d1c12p057

"Yes, you are right, I will, if only it won't last too long."

d1-trc12p057

❡

a1c10p041

Da öffnet sich die Tür ... eine junge Kopenhagener Schauspielerin , die Gerda und Andreas seit vielen Jahren kannte, stand vor Lili ...

tsc10p047

Lili glaubt, dass ihr das Herz zerspringen muss. Fieberröte schiesst in ihr blasses Gesicht. Nein, ruft sie sich selber zu, nein, nein ...

tsc10p048

Doch niemand merkt ihr auch nur die geringste Erregung an.

tsc10p049

The door opened ... A young actress from Copenhagen who Gerda and Andreas had known for many years stood before Lili ...

ts-trc10p047

Lili believes her heart will shatter now. Feverish red shoots into her pale face. No, she cries out internally, no, no...

ts-trc10p048

But nobody notes even the slightest disturbance in her.

ts-trc10p049

Døren gik op, og en ung, københavnsk Skuespillerinde , som Grete og Andreas for nogle Aar siden havde været sammen med en Aften i København , stod foran Lili ......

d1c12p058

Men ingen lagde Mærke til hendes Bevægelse.

d1c12p060

The door opened and a young actress from Copenhagen with whom Grete and Andreas had spent an evening a few years ago stood in front of Lili ......

d1-trc12p058

But no one noticed her nervousness.

d1-trc12p060

g1c10p042

"May I introduce," began Inger with a smile, Fräulein Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

— Mademoiselle Julie Stuart ." And then, turning to Grete : "You both know each other already."

a1c10p042

"Darf ich vorstellen," beginnt lächelnd Frau Inger , " Fräulein Karen W. ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." Und dann sich an ~~Gerda~~ Grete wendend: "Ihr beiden kennt euch ja."

tsc10p050

"May I introduce," Miss Inger begins, smiling, " Miss Karen W . ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." And then, turning to Grete

Note: Here again Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

: "But you two know each other."

ts-trc10p050

— Maa jeg have Lov til at forestille, smilede Inger , Frøken Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p061

"May I be permitted to introduce," Inger smiled, " Miss Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p061

»Darf ich vorstellen«, begann lächelnd Frau Inger , » Fräulein Karen Wärdal – Mademoiselle Julie Stuart .« Und dann sich an Grete wendend: »Ihr beiden kennt euch ja.«

g1c10p043

"Of course we do!" cried Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

with enthusiasm. "How is your husband Andreas ?"

a1c10p043

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

— Aah, vi kender allerede hinanden, raabte Skuespillerinden , hvorledes har Deres Mand, Andreas Sparre , det?

d1c12p062

"Oh, we already know each other," the actress cried, "how is your husband, Andreas Sparre ?"

d1-trc12p062

g1c10p044

a1c10p044

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

d1c12p063

d1-trc12p063

g1c10p044

a1c10p045

über dieses recht überschwängliche Lob ihres Anzuges, dass ihre flugs besorgte Garderobe durchaus nicht Pariser Ursprungs war, sondern aus einem Berliner Damenatelier stammte.

tsc10p052

The

maid

Regularized form: Mädchen

that her wardrobe was not of Parisian origin, but from a Berlin woman's tailor.

ts-trc10p052

d1c12p063

d1c12p064

d1-trc12p063

d1-trc12p064

g1c10p045

a1c10p046

tsc10p053

ts-trc10p053

d1c12p064

d1-trc12p064

g1c10p046

Then she could keep it up no longer. She was tired to death, and begged Grete to take her to her hotel .

a1c10p047

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr ... Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Und sie bat Gerda , sie - in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

tsc10p054

Then she was exhausted ... She was tired enough to just fall over. And she asked Gerda

Note: Gerda is not crossed out here.

to accompany her to her hotel .

ts-trc10p054

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr . . . Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Sie bat Grete , sie – in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

g1c10p047

She bade a smiling farewell to Fräulein Karen .

a1c10p048

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

tsc10p055

Smiling she bid Miss Karen farewell.

ts-trc10p055

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

g1c10p048

"The next time we meet I shall murder the French language," the young actress called after her. "Till our next meeting in Paris ; and don't forget, Grete , to give Monsieur Andreas my kind regards."

a1c10p049

tsc10p056

"Next time we meet, I will try to talk in

badly broken French

Regularized form: auf Französisch radebrechen

," the young Copenhagen woman yelled after her. "To a reunion in Paris ... and Miss Grete

Note: Here Gerda is crossed out again and Grete added in ink.

, don't forget to give Monsieur Andreas my best ..."

ts-trc10p056

d1c12p065

— Og De, Fru Sparre , maa endelig hilse Deres Mand mange Gange fra mig.

d1c12p066

d1-trc12p065

"And you, Mrs. Sparre , please give my warmest regards to your husband."

d1-trc12p066

g1c10p049

Niels accompanied Grete and Lili to the nursing-home .

a1c10p050

Niels begleitete sie beide wieder in die Klinik .

tsc10p057

Niels accompanied the two of them back to the clinic .

ts-trc10p057

Niels fulgte dem begge tilbage til Kliniken.

d1c12p067

Niels drove them back to the clinic.

d1-trc12p067

Niels begleitete die beiden wieder in die Klinik .

g1c10p050

"Well," he said, when they were sitting in the car, "I should not have thought it possible. Now I can believe in miracles!"

a1c10p051

tsc10p058

ts-trc10p058

— Nej, erklærede han, det havde jeg dog ikke tænkt kunde lade sig gennemføre, nu tror jeg paa Miraklet!

d1c12p068

"No," he declared, "this I would never have thought it possible to carry through, now I believe in miracles!"

d1-trc12p068

»Nein«, sagte er, als sie im Wagen saßen, »das hätte ich nicht für möglich gehalten. Jetzt glaube sogar ich felsenfest an Wunder!«

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a1c10p052

tsc10p058

ts-trc10p058

d1c12p069

d1-trc12p069

g1c10p052

So ended Lili 's first encounter with a strange person

Regularized form: .

a1c10p053

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem - fremden Menschen.

tsc10p059

That was how Lili 's first encounter with a – strange person went.

ts-trc10p059

Saaledes forløb Lili s første Møde med et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p070

This was how Lili’s first meeting with a stranger passed.

d1-trc12p070

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem – fremden Menschen.

g1c10p053

"And she did not recognize me," she said sadly.

a1c10p054

"Dass sie mich nicht wieder erkannt hat ..." fast wehmütig sagte sie dies.

tsc10p060

"That she did not recognize me..." she said almost melancholically.

ts-trc10p060

— Tænk, at hun ikke kunde kende mig igen, sagde hun næsten vemodigt.

d1c12p071

"Imagine that she was not able to recognise me," she said almost wistfully.

d1-trc12p071

»Daß sie mich nicht wiedererkannt hat . . .« wehmütig sagte sie dies.

g1c10p054

"But, child," answered Grete , smiling, "that ought to make you glad. Lili , my new Lili , does not know anybody in the world yet. You are starting life again."

a1c10p055

"Aber Kind," entgegnete Grete lächelnd, "das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draussen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen ..."

tsc10p061

"But child," Grete countered smiling, "that should make you happy. Lili , I mean my new Lili doesn't know anyone out there yet. You are just starting life again ..."

ts-trc10p061

d1c12p072

d1-trc12p072

»Aber Kind«, entgegnete Grete lächelnd, »das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draußen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen . . .«

g1c10p055

It did not yet dawn on Grete that Lili 's melancholy was inspired by fear of having no friends.

a1c10p056

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, dass Lili s ~~Trauer~~ Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war ...

tsc10p062

Grete could not yet understand this morning, that Lili 's melancholy was the fear of having no friends ...

ts-trc10p062

Den Dag kunde Grete endnu ikke forstaa, endnu ikke fatte, at Lili s Vemod var Frygt for ikke at finde Venner.

d1c12p073

That day Grete could not yet understand, not yet comprehend, that Lili 's sadness was the fear of not finding friends.

d1-trc12p073

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, daß Lili s Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war . . .

g1c10p056

D1-TR: Fra Mand til Kvinde (English Translation of Danish Edition)

Chapter 12

Three days later Grete arrived early in the morning.

a1c10p001

tsc10p001

ts-trc10p001

d1c12p001

d1-trc12p001

Drei Tage später, frühmorgens, traf Grete ein.

g1c10p001

The nurse on duty knew at once who she was.

a1c10p002

Die wachthabende Schwester wusste sofort, wer sie war.

tsc10p002

The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

ts-trc10p002

Den vagthavende Sygeplejerske vidste straks, hvem hun var.

d1c12p002

The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

d1-trc12p002

Die wachthabende Schwester wußte sofort, wer sie war.

g1c10p002

❡

"Ah, Madame, nicht wahr, Madame Sparre ?" begrüsste sie die frühe Besucherin. "Darf ich Sie führen. Sie werden mit Sehnsucht erwartet. Entschuldigen Sie das Durcheinander auf den Korridoren."

tsc10p003

"Ah, Madame, is that right, Madame Sparre ?" she greeted the early visitor. "May I guide you. You are being passionately expected. Please excuse the mess in the corridors."

ts-trc10p003

d1c12p003

"Oh, it's Mrs. Sparre isn't it?" she said ......"let me show you the way ...... You are eagerly expected ...... Please, excuse the disorder here, we haven't yet finished the morning cleaning."

d1-trc12p003

❡

tsc10p004

ts-trc10p004

d1c12p004

Note: Paragraphs 3-4 are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p004

❡

A few moments later she was in the sick-room.

a1c10p003

Ein paar Augenblicke nooh und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

tsc10p005

A few moments and she stood in the hospital room.

ts-trc10p005

Saa stod hun i Sygeværelset.

d1c12p005

Then she was in the sickroom.

d1-trc12p005

Ein paar Augenblicke noch, und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

g1c10p003

❡

tsc10p006

ts-trc10p006

d1c12p006

Note: This paragraph is missing in the American edition.

d1-trc12p006

❡

a1c10p004

tsc10p007

ts-trc10p007

d1c12p007

d1-trc12p007

g1c10p004

❡

Was diese beiden Menschenkinder in dieser Stunde des Wiedersehens empfunden, durchlebt und einander gestanden haben im stummen Verweilen beieinander, vermag kein Wort festzuhalten.

tsc10p008

What these two human children felt, lived through and confessed to each other in this hour of reunion in silent sojourn, no word may capture.

ts-trc10p008

Hvad disse to Mennesker følte ved deres Gensyn, hvad de gennemlevede og sagde hinanden i dette tavse Samvær — det formaar Ord ikke at gengive.

d1c12p008

What these two people felt at their reunion, what they lived through and said to each other during this silent time together – words cannot render.

Note: This paragraph is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p008

❡

Late in the evening, when she was alone with the turmoil of thoughts and sensations that assailed her, Grete wrote the following letter to their friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

a1c10p005

Spät abends, allein mit sich unddem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den fernen, treuen Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

tsc10p009

Late at night, alone with herself and the storm of confusing thoughts and feelings, Grete wrote this letter to the distant, faithful friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

ts-trc10p009

Sent om Aftenen, da Grete var blevet alene med sine forvirrede Tanker og modstridende Følelser, skrev hun følgende Brev til Vennen i Paris , til Claude Lejeune :

d1c12p009

Late in the evening when Grete was alone with her confused thoughts and conflicting emotions she wrote the following letter to her friend in Paris , to Claude Lejeune :

d1-trc12p009

Spät abends, allein mit dem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

g1c10p005

a1c10l01p01

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p02

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p03

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p04

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p05

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

— Er Du ikke vred paa mig, fordi ...... fordi Andreas bedrog Dig for dine skønneste Aar? ......

d1c12l01p02

d1c12l01p03

d1-trc12l01p01

'Are you angry with me because ...... because Andreas robbed you of your most beautiful years? ......'

d1-trc12l01p02

d1-trc12l01p03

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

a1c10p006

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

tsc10p010

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

ts-trc10p010

❡

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

g1c10p006

The next morning— Grete had spent the night

a1c10p007

Am nächsten Morgen, - die Nacht hatte Grete allein in einem Hotel verbracht, - machte die Oberschwester den Vorschlag, noch ein Bett in das Krankenzimmer

zu stellen, damit Grete bis zur Abreise nach Dresden , die in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

tsc10p011

The next morning, - Grete had spent the night alone in a hotel , - the head nurse suggested putting another bed into the

hospital room, so that Grete could stay close to the patient until the departure for Dresden , which would take place within a few days.

ts-trc10p011

d1c12p010

d1-trc12p010

Note: 8*

in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

g1c10p007

a1c10p008

tsc10p012

"Bitte," mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein entzückendes Seidennegligé hervorgeholt, "ist das nicht goldig?"

tsc10p013

the

Regularized form: dem

patient any more." The nurse did not understand what Grete meant by this and just looked at her, questioning.

ts-trc10p012

"Here," with a quick grip Grete took a delightful silken negligee out of the suitcase, "isn't this lovely?"

ts-trc10p013

— Det var dejligt, svarede Grete taknemligt, tog Sygeplejersken s Haand og trak hende med ind i Sideværelset, der stod ledigt. Hun

hentede hurtigt en Haandkuffert, som hun havde ladet blive staaende i Gangen, aabnede den og hviskede ganske sagte:

d1c12p011

— Kære Søster, nu skal jeg vise Dem noget, og saa taler vi ikke mere om ham .

d1c12p012

Hun tog et henrivende Silkenégligé frem af Kufferten:

d1c12p013

"How nice," Grete answered gratefully, took the nurse 's hand and pulled her into the side room that was vacant. She

quickly fetched a suitcase which she had left standing in the hallway, opened it and whispered softly:

d1-trc12p011

"Dear Sister, let me show you something, and then we will speak no more of him ."

Note: The whisper is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p012

She took a lovely silk négligé out from the suitcase:

d1-trc12p013

g1c10p008

»Bitte«, mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein Seidennegligé hervorgeholt.

g1c10p009

❡

— Er det ikke bedaarende?

d1c12p014

"Isn't it beautiful?"

d1-trc12p014

❡

"How becoming you will look in it, madam!"

a1c10p009

"Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!"

tsc10p014

"How well that will look on you, ma'am!"

ts-trc10p014

— Jo, det vil klæde Dem henrivende, naadige Frue.

d1c12p015

"Yes, it will become you wonderfully, madam."

d1-trc12p015

»Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!«

g1c10p010

"I? No, Nurse ; it is a present from our Parisian friend for our—patient inside. But not a word, please, until to-morrow morning!"

a1c10p010

tsc10p015

ts-trc10p015

d1c12p016

d1-trc12p016

»Mich? . . . Nein, Schwesterchen , das ist ein Geschenk von unserer Pariser Freundin für unsere – Patientin da drinnen! – Aber bitte, nichts verraten – vor morgen früh!«

g1c10p011

a1c10p011

tsc10p016

your astonished environment

Regularized form: Ihrer erstaunten Um-welt

! But please, just here in this room! We can't risk any more than that!"

ts-trc10p016

d1c12p017

d1c12p018

d1-trc12p017

d1-trc12p018

g1c10p012

One nurse after another rustled in. Their astonishment was unbounded.

a1c10p012

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen. " Fräulein Lili ," sagte die Oberschwester und nahm das bleiche, bebende Geschöpf mütterlich in die Arme.

tsc10p017

One nurse after the other rushed inside. Endless astonishment with all of them. " Miss Lili ," the head nurse said and enfolded the pale, quaking creature motherly in her arms.

ts-trc10p017

Flere af Sygeplejerskerne gjorde sig i Dagens Løb Ærinde ind i Sygeværelset, og Oversygeplejersken tog Lili moderligt i sine Arme og hviskede:

d1c12p019

Several of the nurses found a pretext for going into the sick room during the day and the head nurse maternally took Lili in her arms and whispered:

d1-trc12p019

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen.

g1c10p013

❡

— Nu skal De bare være tapper!

d1c12p020

"Now you just have to be brave!"

Note: The Matron's embrace and whisper are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p020

❡

a1c10p013

tsc10p018

ts-trc10p018

d1c12p021

— God Aften, Mademoiselle, jeg ser, at det stadig gaar udmærket!

d1c12p022

d1-trc12p021

"Good evening, Mademoiselle, I see that you are still doing well!"

d1-trc12p022

g1c10p014

Then he noticed Grete for the first time. "Ah, madam, welcome."

a1c10p014

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . "Ah, Madame, willkommen."

tsc10p019

Only then did he noticed Grete . "Ah, Madame, welcome."

ts-trc10p019

Saa først fik han Øje paa Grete :

d1c12p023

Only then did he see Grete :

d1-trc12p023

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . »Ah, Madame, willkommen.«

g1c10p015

❡

— Jeg beder undskylde ......

d1c12p024

"I apologize ....."

d1-trc12p024

❡

For a moment the Professor and Grete confronted each other mutely, not without suppressed emotions.

a1c10p015

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

tsc10p020

For a moment the Professor and Grete stood there, facing each other in silence not without restrained shock.

ts-trc10p020

Et Øjeblik stod Grete og Overlægen og saa paa hinanden med tilbageholdt Sindsbevægelse. Saa sagde Lægen med en godmodig Latter:

d1c12p027

For a moment Grete and the doctor looked at each other with restrained emotion. Then the doctor said with a good-natured laugh:

d1-trc12p027

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

g1c10p016

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor , this is Madame Grete , who . . ."

a1c10p016

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. "Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die ..."

tsc10p021

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor, this is Madame Grete , who ..."

ts-trc10p021

Lili skyndte sig at forestille:

d1c12p025

— Det er min ...... det er Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p026

Lili hastened to introduce:

d1-trc12p025

"This is my ...... this is Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p026

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. »Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die . . .«

g1c10p017

a1c10p017

tsc10p022

ts-trc10p022

— Ja, jeg ved jo, at De var gift med den forsvundne Andreas Sparre .

Men hvad skal man sige til det? Mænd er nu engang troløse ...... man ved aldrig, hvor man har dem.

d1c12p028

"Yes, I know that you were married to the missing Andreas Sparre .

But what can one say? Men are faithless ...... you never know where you are with them."

d1-trc12p028

g1c10p018

a1c10p018

tsc10p023

ts-trc10p023

d1c12p029

It was as if Lili in the first days

Note: The American edition has "her first Berlin days"

d1-trc12p029

g1c10p019

"We must leave her in peace," Grete would then say to them in confidence. "She is resting. She is in a kind of transition. She is now getting ready to soar into freedom."

a1c10p019

tsc10p024

"We have to leave her in peace," Grete said to them, secretly. She is recovering. It is all just a kind of transition. The big, liberating upswing is still only preparing within her."

ts-trc10p024

— Vi maa lade hende være i Fred, sagde Grete til Inger og Niels , hun hviler ud i sig selv ...... det er altsammen kun en Overgang ...... Forberedelsen til hendes Væsens frie Udfoldelse.

d1c12p030

"We must leave her alone," Grete said to Inger and Niels , "she is resting within herself ...... it is all just a passing phase ......the preparation of the free development of her nature."

d1-trc12p030

g1c10p020

a1c10p020

tsc10p025

ts-trc10p025

d1c12p031

d1-trc12p031

g1c10p021

Here is a leaf from the diary that she started:

a1c10p021

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

tsc10p026

Here is a page of this newly begun diary:

ts-trc10p026

Her er en enkelt Side af denne Dagbog:

d1c12p032

Here is a single page of this diary:

d1-trc12p032

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

g1c10p022

" Lili bears everything with incredible patience. True, she whimpers every morning, and even

when her bandages are changed, when fasteners must be undone and done up, and when the still fresh scars are painted.

a1c10d01p01

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

a1c10d01p02

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

Here is another entry:

a1c10p022

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

tsc10p027

Here another entry:

ts-trc10p027

En anden Dag skrev Grete :

d1c12p033

Another day Grete wrote:

d1-trc12p033

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

g1c10p023

yet believe. . . . Or is it that she will not yet show that she believes?"

a1c10d02p01

❡

... »Uden at Lili vidste det, har Inger og jeg truffet Forberedelser til hendes Rejse til Dresden . I Dag var vi i Butiker, og vi kom tilbage til Kliniken med en stor, broget Æske.

d1c12d02p01

— Prøv paa, om Du kan gætte, hvad det er? sagde jeg.

d1c12d02p02

Lili saa paa os og svarede uden et Smil:

d1c12d02p03

— Nej, det kan jeg ikke!

d1c12d02p04

Inger skar Seglgarnet over og trak en dejlig, brun Pels op af Æsken.

d1c12d02p05

— Den er til Dig, Lili , sagde Inger og bredte Pelsen ud foran hende og viste hende det lækre, bløde Silkefoer ......

d1c12d02p06

— Det er sødt af Jer, svarede hun, men tror I, Professor Kreutz vil synes om, at jeg møder i den Paaklædning ...... bare han kan kende mig igen ......

d1c12d02p07

d1c12d02p08

... "Without Lili 's knowledge, Inger and I have made preparations for her journey to Dresden . Today we went shopping, and we returned to the clinic with a big multicoloured box.

d1-trc12d02p01

'Try to guess what this is?' I said.

d1-trc12d02p02

Lili looked at us and replied without a smile:

d1-trc12d02p03

'No, I can't!'

d1-trc12d02p04

Inger cut through the string and pulled a lovely brown fur coat out of the box.

d1-trc12d02p05

'This is for you, Lili ,' Inger said and spread the coat in front of her and showed her the lovely, soft silk lining ......'

d1-trc12d02p06

'That is sweet of you, she answered, but do you think that Professor Kreutz will approve if I make my appearance dressed like that ...... I only hope he can recognise me ......'

d1-trc12d02p07

d1-trc12d02p08

g1c10d02p01

On this day Lili wrote her first letter, to her brother-in-law in Copenhagen .

a1c10p023

❡

An diesem Tag schrieb Lili ihren ersten Brief – an den Schwager in Kopenhagen :

g1c10p024

" Berlin ,

a1c10l02ha

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"14th March, 1930.

a1c10l02hb

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c10l02hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c10l02hb

a1c10l02p01

❡

g1c10l02p01

Your Lili ."

a1c10l02fa

❡

Eure Lili .

g1c10l02fa

"P.S.—I write this letter in great secrecy. Mention the matter to no one."

a1c10l02fb

❡

Im größten Geheimnis schrieb ich diesen Brief! Sprich zu niemand davon!«

g1c10l02fb

It was wintry weather in Berlin when some days later Lili , muffled up in her new fur coat, was

allowed to leave the nursing-home for a few hours for the first time. The Professor had "prescribed" for her an automobile drive.

Regularized form: "

You must prepare every day now for the long journey to Dresden ," he explained. "Get some fresh air, mix with people, gather new strength."

a1c10p024

tsc10p028

ts-trc10p028

Det var endnu Vintervejr i Berlin , da Lili nogle Dage senere, svøbt i sin første, nye Pels, fik Lov til at forlade Kliniken et Par Timer. Overlægen havde foreskrevet en Køretur.

d1c12p034

— Vi maa jo øve os til den store Rejse til Dresden , erklærede han, vi maa have lidt frisk Luft, vise os iblandt Mennesker, samle Kræfter.

d1c12p035

It was still winter in Berlin when Lili a few days later, wrapped in her first new fur coat, was permitted to leave the clinic for a couple of hours. The senior physician had prescribed a drive.

d1-trc12p034

"We must practice for the great journey to Dresden ," he declared, "we must have a little fresh air, show ourselves among people, gather strength."

d1-trc12p035

g1c10p025

a1c10p025

tsc10p029

Walk among people ... Those words made Lili listen up. A secret fear came over her. But she didn't let anyone notice. Niels and Inger fetched her with Grete

Note: Gerda is crossed out here and Grete added in ink.

, who did not stray from her side.

ts-trc10p029

d1c12p036

"Among people" ... These words made Lili listen. She was seized by a secret fear, but she did not let the others feel it ...... Niels and Inger picked her up ...... and Grete never left her side.

d1-trc12p036

g1c10p026

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sich umblickend, als fürchte sie, dass alles um sie herum nur ein Trug sei.

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looked around shyly, as if she was afraid that everything going around her was just an illusion.

ts-trc10p030

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

g1c10p027

She hesitated to proceed.

a1c10p027

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

tsc10p031

She hesitated to move on.

ts-trc10p031

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

g1c10p028

"Come now, child," said Grete softly to her.

a1c10p028

"Komm nun, Kind," sprach Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

leise zu ihr.

tsc10p032

"Come on, child," Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

said to her, quietly.

ts-trc10p032

— Kom nu. Barn, hviskede Grete sagte til hende.

d1c12p038

"Come on, child," Grete whispered to her softly.

d1-trc12p038

»Komm nun, Kind«, sprach Grete leise zu ihr.

g1c10p029

"She is proud," laughed Niels , "and, of course, wants to go alone."

a1c10p029

"Sie ist hochmütig," lachte Niels , "sie will natürlich allein gehen."

tsc10p033

"She is haughty," laughed Niels , "she wants to go by herself."

ts-trc10p033

— Hun er vigtig, hun vil gaa alene, sagde Niels .

d1c12p039

"She is conceited, she wants to walk alone," Niels said.

d1-trc12p039

»Sie ist hochmütig«, lachte Niels , »sie will natürlich allein gehen.«

g1c10p030

"No, no," protested Lili in a frightened voice, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment more. I must just taste this air once more. This air . . ."

a1c10p030

"Nein, nein," sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, "mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muss die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft ..."

tsc10p034

"No, no," Lili 's words came very frightened, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment. I have to first taste the air again. This air ..."

ts-trc10p034

d1c12p040

d1-trc12p040

»Nein, nein«, sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, »mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muß die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft . . .«

g1c10p031

When Lili was sitting in the car, huddled close to Grete , she closed her eyes. "Don't bother about me. I must first get accustomed to all this."

a1c10p031

Als Lili , eng an Gerda geschmiegt, im Wagen sass, schloss sie lange, lange die Augen. "Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muss mich erst wieder an alldas gewöhnen ... an alldas ... alldas ..."

tsc10p035

ts-trc10p035

Da Lili sad i Vognen, krøb hun tæt ind til Grete og lukkede længe Øjnene:

d1c12p041

— Bryd Jer bare ikke om mig ...... jeg maa først vænne mig til det altsammen ......det altsammen.

d1c12p042

When Lili was in the car, she huddled up against Grete and closed her eyes for a long time:

d1-trc12p041

"Don't mind me ...... I must get used to it all first ...... all of it."

d1-trc12p042

Als Lili , eng an Grete geschmiegt, im Wagen saß, schloß sie die Augen. »Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muß mich erst wieder an all das gewöhnen . . .«

g1c10p032

And thus she drove through the roaring life of the Kurfurstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent and self-absorbed.

a1c10p032

Und so fuhr sie wie eine Blinde durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, verschlossen, in sich verriegelt ...

tsc10p036

And so she drove through the roaring life of Kurfürstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent, closed up, self-absorbed ...

ts-trc10p036

Og som en Blind kørte hun gennem Kurfürstendamm s brusende Liv, som en Søvngængerske, tavs og indesluttet i sig selv ......

d1c12p043

And like a blind person she drove through the roaring bustle of Kurfürstendamm , like a sleep walker, silent and withdrawn......

d1-trc12p043

Und so fuhr sie durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, in sich verriegelt . . .

g1c10p033

The drive lasted two hours, and then Grete put the tired invalid to bed again. She was scarcely able to peck at the food that was brought her

before she fell into a deep slumber, which lasted until the following morning.

a1c10p033

tsc10p037

The ride took two hours. Then Gerda returned the tired one to her hospital bed. No sooner had she picked a little at the meal brought in, than she dozed off. The sleep lasted until the next morning.

ts-trc10p037

d1c12p044

d1-trc12p044

g1c10p034

About noon Niels called for them both. Lili was in much better spirits. "I shall not bore you to-day, nor myself. I am really anxious to see people."

a1c10p034

Gegen Mittag holte Niels sie beide wieder ab. Lili war schon viel beherzter geworden. "So, heute will ich euch nicht langweilen. Auch mich nicht. Jch habe sogar ordentlich Hunger - auf Menschen ..."

tsc10p038

ts-trc10p038

Om Eftermiddagen hentede Niels dem igen. Lili var allerede meget mere behersket.

d1c12p045

— I Dag skal jeg ikke blive saa kedelig, sagde hun, jeg længes ovenikøbet efter Mennesker.

d1c12p046

In the afternoon Niels picked them up again. Lili was already much more composed.

d1-trc12p045

"Today I won't be so boring," she said, "I even long for people."

d1-trc12p046

g1c10p035

"Aren't we such?" inquired Niels , amused.

a1c10p035

"Sind wir etwa keine?" fragte belustigt Niels .

tsc10p039

"Are we not?" Niels asked, amused.

ts-trc10p039

— Er vi ikke Mennesker? spurgte Niels spøgende.

d1c12p047

"Aren't we people?" Niels asked jokingly.

d1-trc12p047

»Sind wir etwa keine?« fragte belustigt Niels .

g1c10p036

"But I mean strange people—yes, I want to see strange people again."

a1c10p036

"Doch, aber fremde Menschen ... ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen."

tsc10p040

"Yes, but for strange people ... yes, to see strange people once more."

ts-trc10p040

— Jo, men efter fremmede Mennesker ...... ja, jeg vil gerne en Gang igen se et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p048

"Yes, but for strangers ...... yes, I would like to once again see a stranger."

d1-trc12p048

»Doch, aber fremde Menschen . . . ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen.«

g1c10p037

a1c10p037

tsc10p041

ts-trc10p041

— Udmærket, en glimrende Idé, sagde Niels , og fortalte, at de skulde spise til Middag hjemme hos ham og Inger for at fejre Dagen.

d1c12p049

Han lod Vognen holde ved en Telefonkiosk og steg ud. Han vilde blot lade Inger vide, at de var paa Vej, sagde han, da han med en meget hemmelighedsfuld Mine vendte tilbage.

d1c12p050

"Very good, an excellent idea," Niels said, and told them that they were to dine at home with him and Inger to celebrate the day.

d1-trc12p049

He stopped the car at a phone booth and got out. He just wanted to let Inger know that they were on their way, he said, when he returned with a very mysterious air.

d1-trc12p050

g1c10p038

a1c10p038

tsc10p042

They arrived within fifteen minutes. Inger received the friends outside the door. She pressed a big bouquet of the most magnificent roses into Lili 's arms. "Now, be brave

Lili child

Regularized form: Lilikind

ts-trc10p042

Inger aabnede Entrédøren for dem og rakte Lili en stor Buket Roser.

d1c12p051

d1c12p052

Inger opened the front door for them and handed Lili a large bouquet of roses.

d1-trc12p051

d1-trc12p052

g1c10p039

"For heaven's sake!" cried Lili , almost beside herself.

a1c10p039

"Um Himmels willen," rief fast ausser sich Lili .

tsc10p043

"Good heavens," Lili cried out, almost besides herself.

ts-trc10p043

— For Guds Skyld, sagde Lili , og hun veg tilbage.

d1c12p053

"For God's sake," said Lili and she shrank back.

d1-trc12p053

»Um Himmels willen«, rief fast außer sich Lili .

g1c10p040

a1c10p040

"Keine Widerrede. Du hast jetzt die "importierte Pariserin" zu

tsc10p044

"Don't argue now. You have to play the "imported Parisienne"

ts-trc10p044

d1c12p054

d1c12p055

d1-trc12p054

d1-trc12p055

g1c10p041

❡

"Durchhalten, durchhalten," flüsterte Grete ihr ins Ohr.

tsc10p045

"Keep it up, keep it up," Grete whispered in her ear.

ts-trc10p045

— Hold nu bare ud! hviskede Inger til hende.

d1c12p056

"Just stick to it!" Inger whispered to her.

d1-trc12p056

❡

"Gut, gut, du Gute," antwortete Lili , "ich halte durch. Und muss es ja noch lange."

tsc10p046

"Good, good, you good one," Lili replied, "I am keeping it up. And I have to for a long time..."

ts-trc10p046

— Ja, Du har Ret, det skal jeg, blot det ikke varer for længe.

d1c12p057

"Yes, you are right, I will, if only it won't last too long."

d1-trc12p057

❡

a1c10p041

Da öffnet sich die Tür ... eine junge Kopenhagener Schauspielerin , die Gerda und Andreas seit vielen Jahren kannte, stand vor Lili ...

tsc10p047

Lili glaubt, dass ihr das Herz zerspringen muss. Fieberröte schiesst in ihr blasses Gesicht. Nein, ruft sie sich selber zu, nein, nein ...

tsc10p048

Doch niemand merkt ihr auch nur die geringste Erregung an.

tsc10p049

The door opened ... A young actress from Copenhagen who Gerda and Andreas had known for many years stood before Lili ...

ts-trc10p047

Lili believes her heart will shatter now. Feverish red shoots into her pale face. No, she cries out internally, no, no...

ts-trc10p048

But nobody notes even the slightest disturbance in her.

ts-trc10p049

Døren gik op, og en ung, københavnsk Skuespillerinde , som Grete og Andreas for nogle Aar siden havde været sammen med en Aften i København , stod foran Lili ......

d1c12p058

Men ingen lagde Mærke til hendes Bevægelse.

d1c12p060

The door opened and a young actress from Copenhagen with whom Grete and Andreas had spent an evening a few years ago stood in front of Lili ......

d1-trc12p058

But no one noticed her nervousness.

d1-trc12p060

g1c10p042

"May I introduce," began Inger with a smile, Fräulein Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

— Mademoiselle Julie Stuart ." And then, turning to Grete : "You both know each other already."

a1c10p042

"Darf ich vorstellen," beginnt lächelnd Frau Inger , " Fräulein Karen W. ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." Und dann sich an ~~Gerda~~ Grete wendend: "Ihr beiden kennt euch ja."

tsc10p050

"May I introduce," Miss Inger begins, smiling, " Miss Karen W . ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." And then, turning to Grete

Note: Here again Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

: "But you two know each other."

ts-trc10p050

— Maa jeg have Lov til at forestille, smilede Inger , Frøken Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p061

"May I be permitted to introduce," Inger smiled, " Miss Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p061

»Darf ich vorstellen«, begann lächelnd Frau Inger , » Fräulein Karen Wärdal – Mademoiselle Julie Stuart .« Und dann sich an Grete wendend: »Ihr beiden kennt euch ja.«

g1c10p043

"Of course we do!" cried Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

with enthusiasm. "How is your husband Andreas ?"

a1c10p043

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

— Aah, vi kender allerede hinanden, raabte Skuespillerinden , hvorledes har Deres Mand, Andreas Sparre , det?

d1c12p062

"Oh, we already know each other," the actress cried, "how is your husband, Andreas Sparre ?"

d1-trc12p062

g1c10p044

a1c10p044

tsc10p051

"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

ts-trc10p051

d1c12p063

d1-trc12p063

g1c10p044

a1c10p045

über dieses recht überschwängliche Lob ihres Anzuges, dass ihre flugs besorgte Garderobe durchaus nicht Pariser Ursprungs war, sondern aus einem Berliner Damenatelier stammte.

tsc10p052

The

maid

Regularized form: Mädchen

that her wardrobe was not of Parisian origin, but from a Berlin woman's tailor.

ts-trc10p052

d1c12p063

d1c12p064

d1-trc12p063

d1-trc12p064

g1c10p045

a1c10p046

tsc10p053

ts-trc10p053

d1c12p064

d1-trc12p064

g1c10p046

Then she could keep it up no longer. She was tired to death, and begged Grete to take her to her hotel .

a1c10p047

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr ... Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Und sie bat Gerda , sie - in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

tsc10p054

Then she was exhausted ... She was tired enough to just fall over. And she asked Gerda

Note: Gerda is not crossed out here.

to accompany her to her hotel .

ts-trc10p054

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Dann konnte sie nicht mehr . . . Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Sie bat Grete , sie – in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

g1c10p047

She bade a smiling farewell to Fräulein Karen .

a1c10p048

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

tsc10p055

Smiling she bid Miss Karen farewell.

ts-trc10p055

d1c12p065

d1-trc12p065

Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

g1c10p048

"The next time we meet I shall murder the French language," the young actress called after her. "Till our next meeting in Paris ; and don't forget, Grete , to give Monsieur Andreas my kind regards."

a1c10p049

tsc10p056

"Next time we meet, I will try to talk in

badly broken French

Regularized form: auf Französisch radebrechen

," the young Copenhagen woman yelled after her. "To a reunion in Paris ... and Miss Grete

Note: Here Gerda is crossed out again and Grete added in ink.

, don't forget to give Monsieur Andreas my best ..."

ts-trc10p056

d1c12p065

— Og De, Fru Sparre , maa endelig hilse Deres Mand mange Gange fra mig.

d1c12p066

d1-trc12p065

"And you, Mrs. Sparre , please give my warmest regards to your husband."

d1-trc12p066

g1c10p049

Niels accompanied Grete and Lili to the nursing-home .

a1c10p050

Niels begleitete sie beide wieder in die Klinik .

tsc10p057

Niels accompanied the two of them back to the clinic .

ts-trc10p057

Niels fulgte dem begge tilbage til Kliniken.

d1c12p067

Niels drove them back to the clinic.

d1-trc12p067

Niels begleitete die beiden wieder in die Klinik .

g1c10p050

"Well," he said, when they were sitting in the car, "I should not have thought it possible. Now I can believe in miracles!"

a1c10p051

tsc10p058

ts-trc10p058

— Nej, erklærede han, det havde jeg dog ikke tænkt kunde lade sig gennemføre, nu tror jeg paa Miraklet!

d1c12p068

"No," he declared, "this I would never have thought it possible to carry through, now I believe in miracles!"

d1-trc12p068

»Nein«, sagte er, als sie im Wagen saßen, »das hätte ich nicht für möglich gehalten. Jetzt glaube sogar ich felsenfest an Wunder!«

g1c10p051

a1c10p052

tsc10p058

ts-trc10p058

d1c12p069

d1-trc12p069

g1c10p052

So ended Lili 's first encounter with a strange person

Regularized form: .

a1c10p053

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem - fremden Menschen.

tsc10p059

That was how Lili 's first encounter with a – strange person went.

ts-trc10p059

Saaledes forløb Lili s første Møde med et fremmed Menneske.

d1c12p070

This was how Lili’s first meeting with a stranger passed.

d1-trc12p070

So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem – fremden Menschen.

g1c10p053

"And she did not recognize me," she said sadly.

a1c10p054

"Dass sie mich nicht wieder erkannt hat ..." fast wehmütig sagte sie dies.

tsc10p060

"That she did not recognize me..." she said almost melancholically.

ts-trc10p060

— Tænk, at hun ikke kunde kende mig igen, sagde hun næsten vemodigt.

d1c12p071

"Imagine that she was not able to recognise me," she said almost wistfully.

d1-trc12p071

»Daß sie mich nicht wiedererkannt hat . . .« wehmütig sagte sie dies.

g1c10p054

"But, child," answered Grete , smiling, "that ought to make you glad. Lili , my new Lili , does not know anybody in the world yet. You are starting life again."

a1c10p055

"Aber Kind," entgegnete Grete lächelnd, "das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draussen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen ..."

tsc10p061

"But child," Grete countered smiling, "that should make you happy. Lili , I mean my new Lili doesn't know anyone out there yet. You are just starting life again ..."

ts-trc10p061

d1c12p072

d1-trc12p072

»Aber Kind«, entgegnete Grete lächelnd, »das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draußen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen . . .«

g1c10p055

It did not yet dawn on Grete that Lili 's melancholy was inspired by fear of having no friends.

a1c10p056

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, dass Lili s ~~Trauer~~ Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war ...

tsc10p062

Grete could not yet understand this morning, that Lili 's melancholy was the fear of having no friends ...

ts-trc10p062

Den Dag kunde Grete endnu ikke forstaa, endnu ikke fatte, at Lili s Vemod var Frygt for ikke at finde Venner.

d1c12p073

That day Grete could not yet understand, not yet comprehend, that Lili 's sadness was the fear of not finding friends.

d1-trc12p073

An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, daß Lili s Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war . . .

g1c10p056

G1: Ein Mensch wechselt sein Geschlecht (German Edition)

Chapter 10

Three days later Grete arrived early in the morning.

a1c10p001

tsc10p001

ts-trc10p001

d1c12p001

d1-trc12p001

Drei Tage später, frühmorgens, traf Grete ein.

g1c10p001

The nurse on duty knew at once who she was.

a1c10p002

Die wachthabende Schwester wusste sofort, wer sie war.

tsc10p002

The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

ts-trc10p002

Den vagthavende Sygeplejerske vidste straks, hvem hun var.

d1c12p002

The nurse on duty immediately knew who she was.

d1-trc12p002

Die wachthabende Schwester wußte sofort, wer sie war.

g1c10p002

❡

"Ah, Madame, nicht wahr, Madame Sparre ?" begrüsste sie die frühe Besucherin. "Darf ich Sie führen. Sie werden mit Sehnsucht erwartet. Entschuldigen Sie das Durcheinander auf den Korridoren."

tsc10p003

"Ah, Madame, is that right, Madame Sparre ?" she greeted the early visitor. "May I guide you. You are being passionately expected. Please excuse the mess in the corridors."

ts-trc10p003

d1c12p003

"Oh, it's Mrs. Sparre isn't it?" she said ......"let me show you the way ...... You are eagerly expected ...... Please, excuse the disorder here, we haven't yet finished the morning cleaning."

d1-trc12p003

❡

tsc10p004

ts-trc10p004

d1c12p004

Note: Paragraphs 3-4 are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p004

❡

A few moments later she was in the sick-room.

a1c10p003

Ein paar Augenblicke nooh und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

tsc10p005

A few moments and she stood in the hospital room.

ts-trc10p005

Saa stod hun i Sygeværelset.

d1c12p005

Then she was in the sickroom.

d1-trc12p005

Ein paar Augenblicke noch, und sie stand im Krankenzimmer.

g1c10p003

❡

tsc10p006

ts-trc10p006

d1c12p006

Note: This paragraph is missing in the American edition.

d1-trc12p006

❡

a1c10p004

tsc10p007

ts-trc10p007

d1c12p007

d1-trc12p007

g1c10p004

❡

Was diese beiden Menschenkinder in dieser Stunde des Wiedersehens empfunden, durchlebt und einander gestanden haben im stummen Verweilen beieinander, vermag kein Wort festzuhalten.

tsc10p008

What these two human children felt, lived through and confessed to each other in this hour of reunion in silent sojourn, no word may capture.

ts-trc10p008

Hvad disse to Mennesker følte ved deres Gensyn, hvad de gennemlevede og sagde hinanden i dette tavse Samvær — det formaar Ord ikke at gengive.

d1c12p008

What these two people felt at their reunion, what they lived through and said to each other during this silent time together – words cannot render.

Note: This paragraph is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p008

❡

Late in the evening, when she was alone with the turmoil of thoughts and sensations that assailed her, Grete wrote the following letter to their friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

a1c10p005

Spät abends, allein mit sich unddem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den fernen, treuen Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

tsc10p009

Late at night, alone with herself and the storm of confusing thoughts and feelings, Grete wrote this letter to the distant, faithful friend in Paris , Claude Lejeune :

ts-trc10p009

Sent om Aftenen, da Grete var blevet alene med sine forvirrede Tanker og modstridende Følelser, skrev hun følgende Brev til Vennen i Paris , til Claude Lejeune :

d1c12p009

Late in the evening when Grete was alone with her confused thoughts and conflicting emotions she wrote the following letter to her friend in Paris , to Claude Lejeune :

d1-trc12p009

Spät abends, allein mit dem Ansturm durcheinander wirrender Gedanken und Empfindungen, schrieb Grete diesen Brief an den Freund in Paris , an Claude Lejeune :

g1c10p005

a1c10l01p01

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p02

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p03

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p04

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

d1-trc12l01p01

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

a1c10l01p05

muss

Regularized form: musst

tsc10l01p01

a soul slowly emerging from the shell as is its destiny.

ts-trc10l01p01

d1c12l01p01

— Er Du ikke vred paa mig, fordi ...... fordi Andreas bedrog Dig for dine skønneste Aar? ......

d1c12l01p02

d1c12l01p03

d1-trc12l01p01

'Are you angry with me because ...... because Andreas robbed you of your most beautiful years? ......'

d1-trc12l01p02

d1-trc12l01p03

Note: 8 Elbe

g1c10l01p01

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

a1c10p006

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

tsc10p010

Many months later Lili read this letter. Claude gave it to her.

ts-trc10p010

❡

Viele Monate später hat Lili diesen Brief gelesen. Claude gab ihn ihr.

g1c10p006

The next morning— Grete had spent the night

a1c10p007

Am nächsten Morgen, - die Nacht hatte Grete allein in einem Hotel verbracht, - machte die Oberschwester den Vorschlag, noch ein Bett in das Krankenzimmer

zu stellen, damit Grete bis zur Abreise nach Dresden , die in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

tsc10p011

The next morning, - Grete had spent the night alone in a hotel , - the head nurse suggested putting another bed into the

hospital room, so that Grete could stay close to the patient until the departure for Dresden , which would take place within a few days.

ts-trc10p011

d1c12p010

d1-trc12p010

Note: 8*

in wenigen Tagen würde stattfinden können, in der Nähe des Patienten sein konnte.

g1c10p007

a1c10p008

tsc10p012

"Bitte," mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein entzückendes Seidennegligé hervorgeholt, "ist das nicht goldig?"

tsc10p013

the

Regularized form: dem

patient any more." The nurse did not understand what Grete meant by this and just looked at her, questioning.

ts-trc10p012

"Here," with a quick grip Grete took a delightful silken negligee out of the suitcase, "isn't this lovely?"

ts-trc10p013

— Det var dejligt, svarede Grete taknemligt, tog Sygeplejersken s Haand og trak hende med ind i Sideværelset, der stod ledigt. Hun

hentede hurtigt en Haandkuffert, som hun havde ladet blive staaende i Gangen, aabnede den og hviskede ganske sagte:

d1c12p011

— Kære Søster, nu skal jeg vise Dem noget, og saa taler vi ikke mere om ham .

d1c12p012

Hun tog et henrivende Silkenégligé frem af Kufferten:

d1c12p013

"How nice," Grete answered gratefully, took the nurse 's hand and pulled her into the side room that was vacant. She

quickly fetched a suitcase which she had left standing in the hallway, opened it and whispered softly:

d1-trc12p011

"Dear Sister, let me show you something, and then we will speak no more of him ."

Note: The whisper is missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p012

She took a lovely silk négligé out from the suitcase:

d1-trc12p013

g1c10p008

»Bitte«, mit schnellem Griff hat Grete aus dem Köfferchen ein Seidennegligé hervorgeholt.

g1c10p009

❡

— Er det ikke bedaarende?

d1c12p014

"Isn't it beautiful?"

d1-trc12p014

❡

"How becoming you will look in it, madam!"

a1c10p009

"Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!"

tsc10p014

"How well that will look on you, ma'am!"

ts-trc10p014

— Jo, det vil klæde Dem henrivende, naadige Frue.

d1c12p015

"Yes, it will become you wonderfully, madam."

d1-trc12p015

»Wie Sie das kleiden wird, gnädige Frau!«

g1c10p010

"I? No, Nurse ; it is a present from our Parisian friend for our—patient inside. But not a word, please, until to-morrow morning!"

a1c10p010

tsc10p015

ts-trc10p015

d1c12p016

d1-trc12p016

»Mich? . . . Nein, Schwesterchen , das ist ein Geschenk von unserer Pariser Freundin für unsere – Patientin da drinnen! – Aber bitte, nichts verraten – vor morgen früh!«

g1c10p011

a1c10p011

tsc10p016

your astonished environment

Regularized form: Ihrer erstaunten Um-welt

! But please, just here in this room! We can't risk any more than that!"

ts-trc10p016

d1c12p017

d1c12p018

d1-trc12p017

d1-trc12p018

g1c10p012

One nurse after another rustled in. Their astonishment was unbounded.

a1c10p012

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen. " Fräulein Lili ," sagte die Oberschwester und nahm das bleiche, bebende Geschöpf mütterlich in die Arme.

tsc10p017

One nurse after the other rushed inside. Endless astonishment with all of them. " Miss Lili ," the head nurse said and enfolded the pale, quaking creature motherly in her arms.

ts-trc10p017

Flere af Sygeplejerskerne gjorde sig i Dagens Løb Ærinde ind i Sygeværelset, og Oversygeplejersken tog Lili moderligt i sine Arme og hviskede:

d1c12p019

Several of the nurses found a pretext for going into the sick room during the day and the head nurse maternally took Lili in her arms and whispered:

d1-trc12p019

Eine Schwester nach der anderen huschte herein. Grenzenloses Erstaunen bei allen.

g1c10p013

❡

— Nu skal De bare være tapper!

d1c12p020

"Now you just have to be brave!"

Note: The Matron's embrace and whisper are missing from the American edition.

d1-trc12p020

❡

a1c10p013

tsc10p018

ts-trc10p018

d1c12p021

— God Aften, Mademoiselle, jeg ser, at det stadig gaar udmærket!

d1c12p022

d1-trc12p021

"Good evening, Mademoiselle, I see that you are still doing well!"

d1-trc12p022

g1c10p014

Then he noticed Grete for the first time. "Ah, madam, welcome."

a1c10p014

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . "Ah, Madame, willkommen."

tsc10p019

Only then did he noticed Grete . "Ah, Madame, welcome."

ts-trc10p019

Saa først fik han Øje paa Grete :

d1c12p023

Only then did he see Grete :

d1-trc12p023

Dann erst bemerkte er Grete . »Ah, Madame, willkommen.«

g1c10p015

❡

— Jeg beder undskylde ......

d1c12p024

"I apologize ....."

d1-trc12p024

❡

For a moment the Professor and Grete confronted each other mutely, not without suppressed emotions.

a1c10p015

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

tsc10p020

For a moment the Professor and Grete stood there, facing each other in silence not without restrained shock.

ts-trc10p020

Et Øjeblik stod Grete og Overlægen og saa paa hinanden med tilbageholdt Sindsbevægelse. Saa sagde Lægen med en godmodig Latter:

d1c12p027

For a moment Grete and the doctor looked at each other with restrained emotion. Then the doctor said with a good-natured laugh:

d1-trc12p027

Einen Augenblick lang standen sich der Professor und Grete nicht ohne verhaltene Erschütterung stumm gegenüber.

g1c10p016

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor , this is Madame Grete , who . . ."

a1c10p016

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. "Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die ..."

tsc10p021

Then Lili broke the silence. "Yes, Professor, this is Madame Grete , who ..."

ts-trc10p021

Lili skyndte sig at forestille:

d1c12p025

— Det er min ...... det er Fru Grete Sparre .

d1c12p026

Lili hastened to introduce:

d1-trc12p025

"This is my ...... this is Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

d1-trc12p026

Dann brach Lili das Schweigen. »Ja, Herr Professor , das ist Madame Grete , die . . .«

g1c10p017

a1c10p017

tsc10p022

ts-trc10p022

— Ja, jeg ved jo, at De var gift med den forsvundne Andreas Sparre .

Men hvad skal man sige til det? Mænd er nu engang troløse ...... man ved aldrig, hvor man har dem.

d1c12p028

"Yes, I know that you were married to the missing Andreas Sparre .

But what can one say? Men are faithless ...... you never know where you are with them."

d1-trc12p028

g1c10p018

a1c10p018

tsc10p023

ts-trc10p023

d1c12p029

It was as if Lili in the first days

Note: The American edition has "her first Berlin days"

d1-trc12p029

g1c10p019

"We must leave her in peace," Grete would then say to them in confidence. "She is resting. She is in a kind of transition. She is now getting ready to soar into freedom."

a1c10p019

tsc10p024

"We have to leave her in peace," Grete said to them, secretly. She is recovering. It is all just a kind of transition. The big, liberating upswing is still only preparing within her."

ts-trc10p024

— Vi maa lade hende være i Fred, sagde Grete til Inger og Niels , hun hviler ud i sig selv ...... det er altsammen kun en Overgang ...... Forberedelsen til hendes Væsens frie Udfoldelse.

d1c12p030

"We must leave her alone," Grete said to Inger and Niels , "she is resting within herself ...... it is all just a passing phase ......the preparation of the free development of her nature."

d1-trc12p030

g1c10p020

a1c10p020

tsc10p025

ts-trc10p025

d1c12p031

d1-trc12p031

g1c10p021

Here is a leaf from the diary that she started:

a1c10p021

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

tsc10p026

Here is a page of this newly begun diary:

ts-trc10p026

Her er en enkelt Side af denne Dagbog:

d1c12p032

Here is a single page of this diary:

d1-trc12p032

Hier ist ein Blatt dieses begonnenen Tagebuches:

g1c10p022

" Lili bears everything with incredible patience. True, she whimpers every morning, and even

when her bandages are changed, when fasteners must be undone and done up, and when the still fresh scars are painted.

a1c10d01p01

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

a1c10d01p02

❡

d1c12d01p01

d1-trc12d01p01

»Mit unsagbarer Geduld erträgt Lili alles. Wohl weint und jammert sie, wenn sie abends und morgens neue

g1c10d01p01

Here is another entry:

a1c10p022

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

tsc10p027

Here another entry:

ts-trc10p027

En anden Dag skrev Grete :

d1c12p033

Another day Grete wrote:

d1-trc12p033

Hier eine andere Eintragung:

g1c10p023

yet believe. . . . Or is it that she will not yet show that she believes?"

a1c10d02p01

❡

... »Uden at Lili vidste det, har Inger og jeg truffet Forberedelser til hendes Rejse til Dresden . I Dag var vi i Butiker, og vi kom tilbage til Kliniken med en stor, broget Æske.

d1c12d02p01

— Prøv paa, om Du kan gætte, hvad det er? sagde jeg.

d1c12d02p02

Lili saa paa os og svarede uden et Smil:

d1c12d02p03

— Nej, det kan jeg ikke!

d1c12d02p04

Inger skar Seglgarnet over og trak en dejlig, brun Pels op af Æsken.

d1c12d02p05

— Den er til Dig, Lili , sagde Inger og bredte Pelsen ud foran hende og viste hende det lækre, bløde Silkefoer ......

d1c12d02p06

— Det er sødt af Jer, svarede hun, men tror I, Professor Kreutz vil synes om, at jeg møder i den Paaklædning ...... bare han kan kende mig igen ......

d1c12d02p07

d1c12d02p08

... "Without Lili 's knowledge, Inger and I have made preparations for her journey to Dresden . Today we went shopping, and we returned to the clinic with a big multicoloured box.

d1-trc12d02p01

'Try to guess what this is?' I said.

d1-trc12d02p02

Lili looked at us and replied without a smile:

d1-trc12d02p03

'No, I can't!'

d1-trc12d02p04

Inger cut through the string and pulled a lovely brown fur coat out of the box.

d1-trc12d02p05

'This is for you, Lili ,' Inger said and spread the coat in front of her and showed her the lovely, soft silk lining ......'

d1-trc12d02p06

'That is sweet of you, she answered, but do you think that Professor Kreutz will approve if I make my appearance dressed like that ...... I only hope he can recognise me ......'

d1-trc12d02p07

d1-trc12d02p08

g1c10d02p01

On this day Lili wrote her first letter, to her brother-in-law in Copenhagen .

a1c10p023

❡

An diesem Tag schrieb Lili ihren ersten Brief – an den Schwager in Kopenhagen :

g1c10p024

" Berlin ,

a1c10l02ha

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"14th March, 1930.

a1c10l02hb

❡

» Berlin , 14. März 1930

g1c10l02ha

"Dear Christian ,

a1c10l02hc

❡

Lieber Christian ,

g1c10l02hb

a1c10l02p01

❡

g1c10l02p01

Your Lili ."

a1c10l02fa

❡

Eure Lili .

g1c10l02fa

"P.S.—I write this letter in great secrecy. Mention the matter to no one."

a1c10l02fb

❡

Im größten Geheimnis schrieb ich diesen Brief! Sprich zu niemand davon!«

g1c10l02fb

It was wintry weather in Berlin when some days later Lili , muffled up in her new fur coat, was

allowed to leave the nursing-home for a few hours for the first time. The Professor had "prescribed" for her an automobile drive.

Regularized form: "

You must prepare every day now for the long journey to Dresden ," he explained. "Get some fresh air, mix with people, gather new strength."

a1c10p024

tsc10p028

ts-trc10p028

Det var endnu Vintervejr i Berlin , da Lili nogle Dage senere, svøbt i sin første, nye Pels, fik Lov til at forlade Kliniken et Par Timer. Overlægen havde foreskrevet en Køretur.

d1c12p034

— Vi maa jo øve os til den store Rejse til Dresden , erklærede han, vi maa have lidt frisk Luft, vise os iblandt Mennesker, samle Kræfter.

d1c12p035

It was still winter in Berlin when Lili a few days later, wrapped in her first new fur coat, was permitted to leave the clinic for a couple of hours. The senior physician had prescribed a drive.

d1-trc12p034

"We must practice for the great journey to Dresden ," he declared, "we must have a little fresh air, show ourselves among people, gather strength."

d1-trc12p035

g1c10p025

a1c10p025

tsc10p029

Walk among people ... Those words made Lili listen up. A secret fear came over her. But she didn't let anyone notice. Niels and Inger fetched her with Grete

Note: Gerda is crossed out here and Grete added in ink.

, who did not stray from her side.

ts-trc10p029

d1c12p036

"Among people" ... These words made Lili listen. She was seized by a secret fear, but she did not let the others feel it ...... Niels and Inger picked her up ...... and Grete never left her side.

d1-trc12p036

g1c10p026

a1c10p026

sich umblickend, als fürchte sie, dass alles um sie herum nur ein Trug sei.

tsc10p030

looked around shyly, as if she was afraid that everything going around her was just an illusion.

ts-trc10p030

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

g1c10p027

She hesitated to proceed.

a1c10p027

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

tsc10p031

She hesitated to move on.

ts-trc10p031

d1c12p037

d1-trc12p037

Sie zögerte, weiter zu gehen.

g1c10p028

"Come now, child," said Grete softly to her.

a1c10p028

"Komm nun, Kind," sprach Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

leise zu ihr.

tsc10p032

"Come on, child," Gerda

Note: Gerda has not been corrected to Grete in many instances throughout this chapter, so we have tagged the name as written.

said to her, quietly.

ts-trc10p032

— Kom nu. Barn, hviskede Grete sagte til hende.

d1c12p038

"Come on, child," Grete whispered to her softly.

d1-trc12p038

»Komm nun, Kind«, sprach Grete leise zu ihr.

g1c10p029

"She is proud," laughed Niels , "and, of course, wants to go alone."

a1c10p029

"Sie ist hochmütig," lachte Niels , "sie will natürlich allein gehen."

tsc10p033

"She is haughty," laughed Niels , "she wants to go by herself."

ts-trc10p033

— Hun er vigtig, hun vil gaa alene, sagde Niels .

d1c12p039

"She is conceited, she wants to walk alone," Niels said.

d1-trc12p039

»Sie ist hochmütig«, lachte Niels , »sie will natürlich allein gehen.«

g1c10p030

"No, no," protested Lili in a frightened voice, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment more. I must just taste this air once more. This air . . ."

a1c10p030

"Nein, nein," sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, "mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muss die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft ..."

tsc10p034

"No, no," Lili 's words came very frightened, "don't let me stand alone. Just a moment. I have to first taste the air again. This air ..."

ts-trc10p034

d1c12p040

d1-trc12p040

»Nein, nein«, sehr erschrocken kamen Lili s Worte, »mich nicht allein stehen lassen. Nur noch einen Augenblick. Ich muß die Luft erst einmal wieder richtig schmecken. Diese Luft . . .«

g1c10p031

When Lili was sitting in the car, huddled close to Grete , she closed her eyes. "Don't bother about me. I must first get accustomed to all this."

a1c10p031

Als Lili , eng an Gerda geschmiegt, im Wagen sass, schloss sie lange, lange die Augen. "Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muss mich erst wieder an alldas gewöhnen ... an alldas ... alldas ..."

tsc10p035

ts-trc10p035

Da Lili sad i Vognen, krøb hun tæt ind til Grete og lukkede længe Øjnene:

d1c12p041

— Bryd Jer bare ikke om mig ...... jeg maa først vænne mig til det altsammen ......det altsammen.

d1c12p042

When Lili was in the car, she huddled up against Grete and closed her eyes for a long time:

d1-trc12p041

"Don't mind me ...... I must get used to it all first ...... all of it."

d1-trc12p042

Als Lili , eng an Grete geschmiegt, im Wagen saß, schloß sie die Augen. »Kümmert euch nicht um mich. Ich muß mich erst wieder an all das gewöhnen . . .«

g1c10p032

And thus she drove through the roaring life of the Kurfurstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent and self-absorbed.

a1c10p032

Und so fuhr sie wie eine Blinde durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, verschlossen, in sich verriegelt ...

tsc10p036

And so she drove through the roaring life of Kurfürstendamm , like a somnambulist, silent, closed up, self-absorbed ...

ts-trc10p036

Og som en Blind kørte hun gennem Kurfürstendamm s brusende Liv, som en Søvngængerske, tavs og indesluttet i sig selv ......

d1c12p043

And like a blind person she drove through the roaring bustle of Kurfürstendamm , like a sleep walker, silent and withdrawn......

d1-trc12p043

Und so fuhr sie durch das brausende Leben des Kurfürstendamm s, wie eine Schlafwandlerin, stumm, in sich verriegelt . . .

g1c10p033

The drive lasted two hours, and then Grete put the tired invalid to bed again. She was scarcely able to peck at the food that was brought her

before she fell into a deep slumber, which lasted until the following morning.

a1c10p033

tsc10p037

The ride took two hours. Then Gerda returned the tired one to her hospital bed. No sooner had she picked a little at the meal brought in, than she dozed off. The sleep lasted until the next morning.

ts-trc10p037

d1c12p044

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About noon Niels called for them both. Lili was in much better spirits. "I shall not bore you to-day, nor myself. I am really anxious to see people."

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Gegen Mittag holte Niels sie beide wieder ab. Lili war schon viel beherzter geworden. "So, heute will ich euch nicht langweilen. Auch mich nicht. Jch habe sogar ordentlich Hunger - auf Menschen ..."

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Om Eftermiddagen hentede Niels dem igen. Lili var allerede meget mere behersket.

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— I Dag skal jeg ikke blive saa kedelig, sagde hun, jeg længes ovenikøbet efter Mennesker.

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In the afternoon Niels picked them up again. Lili was already much more composed.

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"Today I won't be so boring," she said, "I even long for people."

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"Aren't we such?" inquired Niels , amused.

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"Sind wir etwa keine?" fragte belustigt Niels .

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"Are we not?" Niels asked, amused.

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— Er vi ikke Mennesker? spurgte Niels spøgende.

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"Aren't we people?" Niels asked jokingly.

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»Sind wir etwa keine?« fragte belustigt Niels .

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"But I mean strange people—yes, I want to see strange people again."

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"Doch, aber fremde Menschen ... ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen."

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"Yes, but for strange people ... yes, to see strange people once more."

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— Jo, men efter fremmede Mennesker ...... ja, jeg vil gerne en Gang igen se et fremmed Menneske.

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"Yes, but for strangers ...... yes, I would like to once again see a stranger."

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»Doch, aber fremde Menschen . . . ja, fremde Menschen einmal Wiedersehen.«

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— Udmærket, en glimrende Idé, sagde Niels , og fortalte, at de skulde spise til Middag hjemme hos ham og Inger for at fejre Dagen.

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Han lod Vognen holde ved en Telefonkiosk og steg ud. Han vilde blot lade Inger vide, at de var paa Vej, sagde han, da han med en meget hemmelighedsfuld Mine vendte tilbage.

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"Very good, an excellent idea," Niels said, and told them that they were to dine at home with him and Inger to celebrate the day.

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He stopped the car at a phone booth and got out. He just wanted to let Inger know that they were on their way, he said, when he returned with a very mysterious air.

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They arrived within fifteen minutes. Inger received the friends outside the door. She pressed a big bouquet of the most magnificent roses into Lili 's arms. "Now, be brave

Lili child

Regularized form: Lilikind

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Inger aabnede Entrédøren for dem og rakte Lili en stor Buket Roser.

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Inger opened the front door for them and handed Lili a large bouquet of roses.

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"For heaven's sake!" cried Lili , almost beside herself.

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"Um Himmels willen," rief fast ausser sich Lili .

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"Good heavens," Lili cried out, almost besides herself.

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— For Guds Skyld, sagde Lili , og hun veg tilbage.

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"For God's sake," said Lili and she shrank back.

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»Um Himmels willen«, rief fast außer sich Lili .

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"Keine Widerrede. Du hast jetzt die "importierte Pariserin" zu

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"Don't argue now. You have to play the "imported Parisienne"

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❡

"Durchhalten, durchhalten," flüsterte Grete ihr ins Ohr.

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"Keep it up, keep it up," Grete whispered in her ear.

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— Hold nu bare ud! hviskede Inger til hende.

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"Just stick to it!" Inger whispered to her.

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❡

"Gut, gut, du Gute," antwortete Lili , "ich halte durch. Und muss es ja noch lange."

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"Good, good, you good one," Lili replied, "I am keeping it up. And I have to for a long time..."

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— Ja, Du har Ret, det skal jeg, blot det ikke varer for længe.

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"Yes, you are right, I will, if only it won't last too long."

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❡

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Da öffnet sich die Tür ... eine junge Kopenhagener Schauspielerin , die Gerda und Andreas seit vielen Jahren kannte, stand vor Lili ...

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Lili glaubt, dass ihr das Herz zerspringen muss. Fieberröte schiesst in ihr blasses Gesicht. Nein, ruft sie sich selber zu, nein, nein ...

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Doch niemand merkt ihr auch nur die geringste Erregung an.

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The door opened ... A young actress from Copenhagen who Gerda and Andreas had known for many years stood before Lili ...

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Lili believes her heart will shatter now. Feverish red shoots into her pale face. No, she cries out internally, no, no...

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But nobody notes even the slightest disturbance in her.

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Døren gik op, og en ung, københavnsk Skuespillerinde , som Grete og Andreas for nogle Aar siden havde været sammen med en Aften i København , stod foran Lili ......

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Men ingen lagde Mærke til hendes Bevægelse.

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The door opened and a young actress from Copenhagen with whom Grete and Andreas had spent an evening a few years ago stood in front of Lili ......

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But no one noticed her nervousness.

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"May I introduce," began Inger with a smile, Fräulein Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

— Mademoiselle Julie Stuart ." And then, turning to Grete : "You both know each other already."

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"Darf ich vorstellen," beginnt lächelnd Frau Inger , " Fräulein Karen W. ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." Und dann sich an ~~Gerda~~ Grete wendend: "Ihr beiden kennt euch ja."

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"May I introduce," Miss Inger begins, smiling, " Miss Karen W . ... Mademoiselle Julie S ..." And then, turning to Grete

Note: Here again Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

: "But you two know each other."

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— Maa jeg have Lov til at forestille, smilede Inger , Frøken Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Fru Grete Sparre .

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"May I be permitted to introduce," Inger smiled, " Miss Karen Warren ...... Mademoiselle Julie Humbert ...... Mrs. Grete Sparre ."

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»Darf ich vorstellen«, begann lächelnd Frau Inger , » Fräulein Karen Wärdal – Mademoiselle Julie Stuart .« Und dann sich an Grete wendend: »Ihr beiden kennt euch ja.«

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"Of course we do!" cried Karen

Wardel

Regularized form: Wardal

with enthusiasm. "How is your husband Andreas ?"

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"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

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— Aah, vi kender allerede hinanden, raabte Skuespillerinden , hvorledes har Deres Mand, Andreas Sparre , det?

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"Oh, we already know each other," the actress cried, "how is your husband, Andreas Sparre ?"

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"But yes," Karen W. calls out excitedly, "how is your spouse Andreas doing?" And Grete

Note: Here and below Gerda is crossed out and Grete added in ink.

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über dieses recht überschwängliche Lob ihres Anzuges, dass ihre flugs besorgte Garderobe durchaus nicht Pariser Ursprungs war, sondern aus einem Berliner Damenatelier stammte.

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The

maid

Regularized form: Mädchen

that her wardrobe was not of Parisian origin, but from a Berlin woman's tailor.

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Then she could keep it up no longer. She was tired to death, and begged Grete to take her to her hotel .

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Dann konnte sie nicht mehr ... Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Und sie bat Gerda , sie - in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

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Then she was exhausted ... She was tired enough to just fall over. And she asked Gerda

Note: Gerda is not crossed out here.

to accompany her to her hotel .

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Dann konnte sie nicht mehr . . . Sie war zum Umsinken müde. Sie bat Grete , sie – in ihr Hotel zu geleiten.

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She bade a smiling farewell to Fräulein Karen .

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Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

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Smiling she bid Miss Karen farewell.

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Lächelnd verabschiedete sie sich von Fräulein Karen .

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"The next time we meet I shall murder the French language," the young actress called after her. "Till our next meeting in Paris ; and don't forget, Grete , to give Monsieur Andreas my kind regards."

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"Next time we meet, I will try to talk in

badly broken French

Regularized form: auf Französisch radebrechen

," the young Copenhagen woman yelled after her. "To a reunion in Paris ... and Miss Grete

Note: Here Gerda is crossed out again and Grete added in ink.

, don't forget to give Monsieur Andreas my best ..."

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— Og De, Fru Sparre , maa endelig hilse Deres Mand mange Gange fra mig.

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"And you, Mrs. Sparre , please give my warmest regards to your husband."

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Niels accompanied Grete and Lili to the nursing-home .

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Niels begleitete sie beide wieder in die Klinik .

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Niels accompanied the two of them back to the clinic .

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Niels fulgte dem begge tilbage til Kliniken.

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Niels drove them back to the clinic.

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Niels begleitete die beiden wieder in die Klinik .

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"Well," he said, when they were sitting in the car, "I should not have thought it possible. Now I can believe in miracles!"

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— Nej, erklærede han, det havde jeg dog ikke tænkt kunde lade sig gennemføre, nu tror jeg paa Miraklet!

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"No," he declared, "this I would never have thought it possible to carry through, now I believe in miracles!"

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»Nein«, sagte er, als sie im Wagen saßen, »das hätte ich nicht für möglich gehalten. Jetzt glaube sogar ich felsenfest an Wunder!«

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So ended Lili 's first encounter with a strange person

Regularized form: .

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So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem - fremden Menschen.

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That was how Lili 's first encounter with a – strange person went.

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Saaledes forløb Lili s første Møde med et fremmed Menneske.

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This was how Lili’s first meeting with a stranger passed.

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So verlief Lili s erstes Zusammentreffen mit einem – fremden Menschen.

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"And she did not recognize me," she said sadly.

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"Dass sie mich nicht wieder erkannt hat ..." fast wehmütig sagte sie dies.

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"That she did not recognize me..." she said almost melancholically.

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— Tænk, at hun ikke kunde kende mig igen, sagde hun næsten vemodigt.

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"Imagine that she was not able to recognise me," she said almost wistfully.

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»Daß sie mich nicht wiedererkannt hat . . .« wehmütig sagte sie dies.

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"But, child," answered Grete , smiling, "that ought to make you glad. Lili , my new Lili , does not know anybody in the world yet. You are starting life again."

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"Aber Kind," entgegnete Grete lächelnd, "das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draussen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen ..."

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"But child," Grete countered smiling, "that should make you happy. Lili , I mean my new Lili doesn't know anyone out there yet. You are just starting life again ..."

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»Aber Kind«, entgegnete Grete lächelnd, »das sollte dich doch froh machen. Lili , meine neue Lili kennt ja noch niemand draußen. Du sollst doch erst mit dem Leben anfangen . . .«

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It did not yet dawn on Grete that Lili 's melancholy was inspired by fear of having no friends.

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An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, dass Lili s ~~Trauer~~ Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war ...

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Grete could not yet understand this morning, that Lili 's melancholy was the fear of having no friends ...

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Den Dag kunde Grete endnu ikke forstaa, endnu ikke fatte, at Lili s Vemod var Frygt for ikke at finde Venner.

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That day Grete could not yet understand, not yet comprehend, that Lili 's sadness was the fear of not finding friends.

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An diesem Morgen konnte Grete noch nicht verstehen, noch nicht fassen, daß Lili s Wehmut Furcht vor Freundearmut war . . .

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